Frolic of His Own (81 page)

—No, no thank you I know how busy you are, I haven't wanted to take so much of your valuable time Mister Crease but it seemed only fair to you to review the range of legal complications you might confront in a
long drawn out expensive lawsuit which we wish to help you avoid, and of course under the circumstances the possibility cannot be ruled out that your suit as the victim might not prevail as a party who should be joined in a, there's that word should again, would you mind giving me back those papers?

—And would you mind, Mister Gribble, first would you mind simply telling me what it is you want me to sign?

—Why I, yes of course I have it right here somewhere it's just a release that will save us all a good deal of . . .

—Is that all?

—The release yes, yes and then there's an affidavit in connection with your . . .

—And listen, what about that summons I got as a witness with companies all over the globe and some kind of postponement that . . .

—That's exactly what I was coming to yes, yes rather than put you through the grueling cross examinations such a trial would subject you to this simple affidavit will relieve you of any further obligations and we can put the whole matter behind us, here we are. It simply states that you were injured by the product, which is to say the damage-feasant motor vehicle in this case, that your injury came about because the product was defective and that its defects existed when it left the hands of the defendant.

—What defendant. Oh Lily, will you bring me something? just a glass of wine or something?

—I hadn't wanted to take more of your valuable time getting into all these details Mister Crease but you see you are only a part of the bigger picture which threatens to get out of control and may go on for years involving a whole series of defendants. When your second attorney Mister Preswig filed your motion as the victim against the car's owner this in turn brought Ace Worldwide Fidelity in as his or your insurer where it might possibly have ended.

—Well why didn't it!

—Because liability attaches to anyone who sells the product going back to its manufacturer including the makers of parts supplied by others since it is marketed under the manufacturer's name, if you follow me? Our legal department sought out the person you bought it from who had joined the Navy and so proceeded against the dealer from whom he'd purchased it new and the dealer then sued the wholesaler who has brought suit against the manufacturer who in turn is suing the assembler of the defective component parts whose makers are as you observed in your summons as a witness in the suit being brought against them by the assembler all over the globe as you put it, however. As you were notified that trial has been
postponed since these component parts makers abroad turn out to be largely subsidiaries or joint ventures with American companies which must all be sorted out before matters can proceed to the Supreme Court where it all appears to be headed.

—Good God! he sank back with the glass in his free hand, —did you hear all that Lily?

—I heard enough.

—Wait sit down, listen. The whole thing sounds like a, it sounds like the house that Jack built. Will you tell me why you've dragged me through this whole insane rigmarole of indispensable parties and artificial persons and now this global car chase you refer to as the big picture?

—Yes yes of course Mister Crease. I thought it would be useful to review the wide range of complex issues and prolonged expensive procedures which would no doubt prove exhausting in your weakened condition resulting from your little adventure which will be lifted from your shoulders when you sign these papers and can go on to your important work with this entire matter behind you, going to sleep at night with the added satisfaction you might say of putting bread on many tables for years to come, I have a pen right here and . . .

—Wait what in the hell are you talking about, putting bread on many tables.

—Just joking yes, yes a figure of speech as they say, I meant the legal profession of course, lawyers all over the land and abroad, pita bread, bagels, baguettes you may even see some children put through college if the . . .

—No wait a second Oscar, I mean what about our table Mister Dribble.

—Please.

—What about all these doctor bills and the hospital and even just that chair over there he had to ride around in.

—Yes, yes but I believe you both understand that Ace Worldwide has already gone to considerable expense and faces still further financial sacrifice in our efforts to relieve Mister Crease of the intolerable burdens I have just gone to all this trouble to outline for you which can all be dismissed with a stroke of the pen yes, yes I have one right here, sign there at the bottom and your daughter as witness under the . . .

—She is not my daughter! and will you stop this yes yes every time you speak?

—Yes oh, I'm sorry yes it's just habit, when I joined Worldwide we were given this fine Dale Carnegie course free, I'm sure being a scholar that you're familiar with his work? when he speaks of using the approach perfected by the ancient Greek philosopher Socarides in getting the yes yes response from his . . .

—God. Listen, why me Mister Gribble, will you tell me?

—But you started the whole thing after all Mister Crease, the rest of us are just out here picking up the . . .

—What if he doesn't sign this stuff.

—Yes as I say, we would just have to let things make their difficult way through the courts and I must caution you the other parties, especially the manufacturer have very deep pockets.

—So do you Mister Dribble, so what about these doctor bills and all.

—I'll be glad to discuss it with my office when I take the signed release and affidavit back in yes, yes I think it quite likely they'll be willing to make some sort of voluntary contribution toward . . .

—You can discuss it right here. I mean I'm not talking about some voluntary contribution I'm talking about the doctor bills and the hospital and the therapist and his lost income, what about his lost income, I'm talking about the whole thing and that chair over there too or all you'll take back to your office is your hat and your ass.

—I ah, yes I don't think I had a hat did I? bent over the plastic portfolio on his lap —now that you speak of it yes, yes in fact I may happen to have brought along something that, what we call a letter of agreement you might say deals with these contingencies if you insist on having it all down in black and . . .

—That's what I'm doing aren't I? Here Oscar, read it.

—Though in the atmosphere of trust we generally enjoy with our clients it hardly seems necessar . . .

—You reading it Oscar?

—Yes but, wait where it says here agree to satisfy obligations for fully verified medical and custodial care of a general nature directly resulting from . . .

—No wait a second, put in all. Put in all obligations, take out that crap about of a general nature and put in all medical care and wait a second, put in dental, put in . . .

—Well I hardly think . . .

—You think you're going to get run over like that without practically getting your teeth knocked out? I mean you hear the way he's talking?

—Yes I, yes but I thought it might be the wine, he . . .

—You want him to sign this stuff or not. And wait a second, what about his loss of earnings in there.

—I believe the ah, I believe the formula is eighty percent up to one thousand dollars monthly but oh, just a moment I brought along a camera somewhere to record the, to satisfy our examiners with evidence of what was described in the claim as permanent significant disfigurement marring the natural expression so as to attract attention referring as I recall to a
facial scar which, would you mind turning your face this way Mister Crease? I'm afraid I don't detect any trace of . . .

—How do you know what his natural expression looks like, you want us to sign this stuff? Just put in there a thousand dollars monthly, go ahead and sign it Oscar.

—It seems somewhat irregular but . . .

—And you too, you sign it we all sign it what about copies.

—Copies?

—I said copies didn't I? so everybody gets a copy? in a flurry of pen and papers until they sank back for a moment leveling their stares, hers at the collapse on the sofa, his at the floor and the third of them down her blouse until she stood pulling it close.

—Yes I should, I mean I'd better be off yes, it's been a pleasure meeting you both with the opportunity to serve you in the best traditions of Ace Worldwide where our clients always, I didn't bring a hat did I?

—Wait a second.

—But, no but please I think we've cleared everything up haven't we? jamming the papers he'd retrieved back where they'd come from, —the claims are pouring in from that holocaust on the highway near the airport and I'm far behind schedule, you have my phone num . . .

—It's just this one question, where my brother got killed in this car crash?

—Oh I, I see and, and he was a client of ours too?

—No it's just this question, he got killed in this car my daddy gave him the money to buy it with so then when tragedy strikes there's this religious reverend that steps right in there calling it the death instrument and he talks Daddy into giving all this insurance money from Bobbie to the Lord to cleanse it to make sure him and Mama will get to join Bobbie on the other side when they get there too where it should be mine right here on this side where I need it, I mean I'm his daughter aren't I?

—I see yes, but of course it's your daddy's prerogative to leave his money as he sees fit, that is to say if you were his wife you would be entitled to one third, in some states even half but . . .

—How could I be his wife, he's already got Mama doesn't he? So I want to sue him.

—But I don't think that would succeed is what I meant to say, unless you could have him declared incompetent, it's not at all uncommon for children to be cut out of their parents' wills and of course his will wouldn't even take effect until he'd passed on because he . . .

—I don't mean sue Daddy I mean suing this reverend! Daddy's going in for this big operation and if the Lord calls him right in the middle of it
then what. If he shows up over there and can't join Bobbie or maybe can't even find him in the crowd then what.

—I think what she's talking about is something in the line of a malpractice suit Mister Gribble.

—But, I see. Might I suggest another approach? his voice abruptly taking a softer, almost intimate tone —if I may take a few more moments of your valuable time? as he sat down again peeling open a separate pocket of the portfolio on his lap. —Of course your feelings are quite understandable, but have you considered weighing them against the spiritual comfort you might enjoy by yielding these funds to the Lord's service in an unselfish gesture of love for your departed brother?

—Are you kidding? and I mean look, suppose Daddy is incontinent but he never gets there anyway because when he gets there he finds out there is no other side then what, where he already paid off this reverend didn't he? and you don't call that malpractice?

—But in such a suit there might be a, as I say I'm not an expert in the law but I think as the plaintiff your daddy's suit from the other side against the reverend would face the problem of jurisdiction, and . . .

—I'm talking about me suing him right here on this side where he's taking this money that ought to be mine for something he doesn't come through with.

—But you couldn't really prove that he doesn't come through.

—Could he prove that he did?

—Sounds more like breach of contract now, doesn't it Gribble? and the glass came down emptied.—Is this all the wine?

—It's right there by your foot Oscar. Could he?

—Well but first Miss ah, Lily if I may? He was pulling forth booklets and pamphlets ablaze with flaming colour, radiant with cerulean blues —at least from my long experience with automobile liability policy, the credibility of the parties to the contract in such an action is of primary importance. Of course we have God's own unimpeachable word for the existence of the heavenly realm you refer to as the other side, and in the words of third John sixteen which I'm sure you have known by heart since childhood, where is it now, yes here. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. In other words assuming that your daddy . . .

—You're not a Mormon there are you Gribble? They stack them up like cordwood there on the other side, talk about finding a face in the crowd they've hollowed out a mountain out west somewhere full of genealogies that go right back to Methus . . .

—I'm not no, I'm not a Mormon Mister Crease but I do belong to a
serious Pentecostal Bible study group in fact I was about to ask you both to join us some evening, I think your contributions to the discussion would be greatly . . .

—Having our discussion right here, find another glass for Mister Gribble will you Lily? Preaching the inerrancy of scripture I think he'll take a little wine for his stomach's sake?

—No thank you no, no we never preach I'm only suggesting that if her daddy has stood up before witnesses to the truth and declared his faith in the belief so beautifully expressed in the simple words of this gospel and he should, in the course of events he does arrive on the other side unable to find her brother there? he came on turning to her with growing appetite licking his lips as his eyes dropped slightly from hers —isn't it very possible that not having made a similar avowal of faith Bobbie may have gone elsewhere?

—Very good Mister Gribble, even though of course we're both aware that John is generally regarded as the least reliable of the gospels?