From Fed Up to Fabulous: Real stories to inspire and unite women worldwide (6 page)

That choice eventually lead to me to landing what many labeled a dream job with one of the biggest International Fashion and Lifestyle Brands as the Branding and Marketing Manager for South Africa.  I didn’t even have the right qualifications for the job, but I guess my drive, determination and passion is what won me the position in my interview. I excelled at this job, and became the "it-girl" in town. Working and hanging out with International celebrities and inspirational brands. I was the person to know if you wanted in on the VIP lifestyle and events. I started "settling down" in secure relationships. But somehow amidst all of this, I still felt lonely, empty, like I didn’t belong. Like I was searching for something greater. Some greater purpose in life and a greater understanding of my own identity and self worth. I still made many wrong decisions and time and again still persisted in self destructive behavior. But that feeling of there’s more out there than this was always present and growing stronger by the day.

One evening, my world nearly shattered again when I was drugged and raped by a friend’s fiancé. I remember waking up the next morning feeling shame, feeling guilt, wondering did I do something to ask for it? I hadn’t exactly been a choir girl up to this point of my life, but one thing I knew for certain was that I did not invite this man to do what he did and that he had no right!

I tried to find the fault with me, because I didn’t really fully understand or believe my worth and value as a person and a woman yet. See I didn’t yet realize that you can’t just make the decision to choose your path and who you believe you are and what you are worth, just ONCE. You have to keep making the decision and affirm it to yourself EVERY DAY of your life! Every time something would happen that was contradictory to what I believed in my heart I was worth and was choosing for my life, that pull at my heart got stronger, shouting from within me "There is more to life than THIS! There is more to YOU than this!" 

For almost 2 years after that night, I didn’t go out at all. I didn’t touch alcohol, I didn’t date, I didn’t see my friends. I went to work and went home. I needed to find ME. I needed to find MY purpose, MY true value and worth. I was searching for the meaning of life. The meaning of MY life that felt empty and meaningless.

During these 2 years I truly got to know God, and I gave my life to Christ. I got involved at a church as a leader for the youth. Helping, guiding and supporting others seemed to come naturally to me, even though I was still struggling with my own inner demons at that time. I felt a sense of purpose working with these kids and guiding them to find their purpose and their worth. In guiding them, I finally found my own purpose and worth. I later joined a group of young adults that ministered to High School Students, and I taught a Bible class at the school once a week. The students that seemed to naturally gravitate to me and open up to me, were the girls. They identified with me as I was never judgmental and had faced a lot of the challenges and events that most young girls are faced with, in my short lifetime. I understood what it felt like to not know your worth, and how self destructive that can be, and although their circumstances were all unique, the struggle to love themselves and see their own self worth was the one constant throughout.

During this time, I also decided to start my own business. As much as I loved helping young adults, I was missing my other passion which was business, more specifically strategy, branding and marketing. Part of my business at that time was events and promotions, and as some of the girls I was mentoring finished school, they started studying and started working for me as promoters part time. Through the promotions I got to spend a lot of time with them and I got to know their stories very intimately. My passion for guiding, helping and mentoring others then lead to starting a weekly coffee meeting with these girls and their friends, where we would just talk and share openly and honestly. Every week I would be AMAZED at how these girls were growing, changing and healing. They grew in themselves and in life and built strong relationships with God. I never shared my challenges and demons with them, until the day I lost the most wonderful person I could ever have asked for because of it and I felt I needed to show them that I wasn’t perfect either. The bond that was created and the healing that it brought to both myself and to many of them, taught me that my story is not something that I need to be ashamed of. I could CHOOSE to make it something that drives me to make a difference and to fuel both my purpose and my passion for others in life and in business.

I made many mistakes and was done in with thousands of Rands in the first 3 years of business. Many times I nearly gave up. But something would get me up and get me pushing forward every single time. Today I look back and I am thankful for those times, because each time something happened, it pushed me to find new ways of doing things and the frustration would force me to change and grow, not only my business, but myself as well.

I loved what I did both in business and in guiding these girls, and life seemed perfect. But reality was, I had no life! I was working 7 days a week and 15 hour days, barely getting by financially. I was one person doing everything for everyone, for not nearly what I was worth or what my services were worth. Due to this I also had to stop the weekly meetings with the girls I was mentoring because I just didn’t have the time. During this time I didn’t have financial or emotional support and kept every burden I was carrying to myself. A family member had ruined both of my parents financially and I didn’t want to put worrying about me on them as well, nor could I ask them for financial help at all. I was tired, stressed, torn between loving what I do and hating what I do. I didn’t have many friends left as they were all upset with me for always working and never spending any time with them. I had it all, the dream, doing what I love, but I had nothing that was truly worth something. I questioned myself and whether I was cut out for entrepreneurship, and when I didn’t remind myself of why I was doing what I am doing daily, fear of rejection and of failure would get its grip on me yet again. So it was a constant battle. Fighting to survive, fighting off that old “friend” fear of rejection and failure, fighting with my family and my friends. It was weighing me down and I felt like I was stuck between what I knew I was worth, my passion and my purpose, and the very real threat of either quitting or failing at being an entrepreneur.

One day I saw an advert on social media that read something along the lines of “Are you tired of working IN your business instead of ON your business?” – That’s ME, was the immediate thought that went through my head. It was a free seminar being hosted by an American Wealth Coach whom I had never heard of before at that point. I had a mental “block” against this kind of thing, because my father use to speak a lot about a bunch of seminars he attended hosted by big name speakers, which I never really saw amounting to anything significant changing in his circumstances or his life. My thoughts about these things was really “what a load of BS!” But this time, my frustration and the fact that I identified with the heading of the advert, drove me to take action and sign up for the event. I forgot about it, and when I saw it in my diary I actually wasn’t going to go, because it was in the evening on a week day and I had had a very hectic day and week up to that point. What changed my mind is that they phoned me from the US the day of the event to confirm my attendance. That WOWED me, so I went. Tired, stressed, over worked and not expecting anything life changing or profound – but I went!

I couldn’t be more grateful today that I did! That one event I attended which was hosted by World #1 Wealth coach JT Foxx, changed my life, and it changed my businesses in ways I could have never imagined, in less than 6 months. See JT also had a story. A story of overcoming. A story of CHOOSING. I could relate to his story and he not only gave practical advice and solutions, he imprinted in my mind once again that it is a CHOICE and that once you choose you need to take ACTION! I changed my mindset and applied what I learned at that first seminar and many coaching events after that, and my business life and ultimately my personal life flourished from there, and has continued to see upward growth since then.

I give credit to God and Christ my Saviour, the life shattering events that drove me to internally explore who I am, what I’m worth and what I wanted out of life, my attendance to that one Free workshop and the man
y
coaching classes I attended after that, and CHOOSING, for where I am today!

Today I own a successful Branding and Marketing Agency. I have turned my passion for mentoring into a business as a business and branding coach and strategist, guiding both clients and young adults in establishing and growing very successful businesses, and in changing their lives and their mindsets for the better. My passion for inspiring others to find their true purpose, worth and passion, and to overcome and thrive, drives me in everything I do. It has given me the opportunity to not only write this book, but to be a speaker sharing with and inspiring others to overcome, grow and succeed! I have surrounded myself with an amazing group of international coaches and entrepreneurs who inspire me, guide me and support me. Do I sometimes still struggle with self worth and fear of rejection? Yes. But each time I am faced with it, I CHOOSE again. I remind myself of why I am doing what I do, what I am worth and who I have chosen to be. And each time the choice becomes easier, and the trials become less. I’ve faced many trials and obstacles that I didn’t choose, from before I was even born. I’ve met several people with even greater trials and obstacles that they’ve faced, and we’ve all OVERCOME and EXCELLED, and SO CAN YOU! You just need to CHOOSE to!

It is all in YOUR hands. You may not have been able to choose the things in your story, but you have the power to choose how they affect you!

Changing your life is a choice, and you don’t just make it once, it’s a choice you have to make DAILY.  

If you are struggling to forgive someone for what they did or for the role they played in your story, remember that they too have a story. They say that hurting people hurt other people. It’s not an excuse, but when you can see that they too are just broken souls who had obstacles in their journey but didn’t yet choose to not let that define them and their behavior and choices at that time, it becomes a lot easier to forgive. Forgiveness is not for them, it’s for YOU. It’s the thing that will FREE you to keep making the choice to be EXCELLENT! If you hold onto it, it keeps you bound to it and its effects on your life. Find and hold on to the good that came from it, and let go of the bad! I chose to hold on to one thing from my past, but I’ve chosen to let it fuel me and not hinder me. The rejection before my birth and my parents not being available to support me when I struggled to start my business, caused me to have the mindset of: "If you don’t make it happen for you, nobody else will. You don’t have any back up, so find a way to MAKE it work." But I’ve chosen to use that mindset to continuously drive me to find solutions and to be innovative and transformational when facing trials in business and in life.

Decide who YOU are and what you are worth, and choose that every day!

Find your purpose and your passion and let your WHY fuel you!

Surround yourself with the right people! - Find coaches, entrepreneurs and friends who inspire you, guide you and support you. People who show results and live what they teach! No man is an island, but if you are alone in the wilderness, the last thing you want is a hungry bear or a blood sucking leech around you – choose wisely.

Success as with life is a CHOICE, and it’s a choice you need to keep making daily, no matter what happens!

About Mickey Roothman

Working with a diverse list of high profile National and International brands, Mickey established herself in the industry, and is known for her strategic, dynamic, innovative and results driven approach to Business, Marketing, Branding and Strategy. Having worked as a Strategist, Brand Executive, Brand Manager, Marketing Manager, Publicist and Events coordinator for over 12 years, she has an excellent understanding of Brand Identity, Brand Immersion, Consumer Profiling, Consumer Conversion, Communication Strategies, Networking and Relationship Capital.

Being an entrepreneur herself, Mickey has founded various businesses, and as a Business Coach, specializing in Branding, Marketing and Strategy Coaching, she passes on her over a decade’s worth of experience, guiding new and existing entrepreneurs in strategically creating, launching, establishing, growing and maintaining successful businesses and brands.

Mickey was awarded the 2015 Connector Award by World number 1 Wealth Coach, JT Foxx from the USA, for her strengths in connecting people and utilizing her skills in building relationship capital.

Mickey also boasts a record number of South African events, hosted at and for Fashion TV venues across South Africa, that were featured on the FTV International Channel, and was a key player in the success of the Fashion TV brand when it first launched in South Africa. 

Mickey lives out her passion and purpose by endeavoring to empower new and existing entrepreneurs through coaching and speaking, and she supports a variety of women’s, children’s and animal welfare associations which are causes that lie very close to her heart.

“Creating leaders creates success” – Mickey Roothman

For more information about Mickey visit:

             
www.mickeyroothman.com

              Facebook:             
https://www.facebook.com/mickeyroothman/files/08/23/47/f082347/public/

LinkedIn:             
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mickeyroothman

YouTube:             
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6U8lL3enG02XBscRqpqHjA