From Lies to Promises (16 page)

 
I lose the first few rounds, but I tell myself that I am doing it to throw them off. To be honest I think I may have lost my touch. Only for a minute. An evil laugh resonates in my head when I start winning, so much so that it is almost impossible to keep it from literally coming out. The expressions coming from them when I take their pennies is hilarious. They just didn’t see it coming.

  “I do believe we have been
hustled, son. You’ve caught yourself a card shark.” Allen laughs.

 
“I see that.” Ryder replies picking up his new cards.

  “Just a hobby I picked up.” I tell them with a snicker.

  We play till I take all 200 copper coins from them, then I excuse myself to the restroom.

  “Just down the hall to your right.” Allen speaks up giving me directions.

  I take my time on the way there, strolling through the hallway scanning over all the pictures of Ryder and Dave growing up. It’s funny how opposite they have always looked. Ryder only took his father’s eyes, Dave got the rest of Allen’s looks. As I keep going I run up on a picture of the family when Ryder was just a baby. He was in the arms of a stunning woman. Almost black hair hung straight to her shoulders, and a smile that I can imagine lit up any room she was in. I keep scanning the portraits of Ryder’s life until I make it to the bathroom.

  When I finish and head
out I hear Allen talking to Ryder in the living room. I know I shouldn’t eavesdrop but I don’t want to interrupt their and then their conversation turns to me. “This girl is different for you isn’t she?”

  “How do you figure that, dad?” Ryder ask
s him curiously.

  “Two reasons. The first being that you brought her here to meet your drunken dad. That means you care for her. Lastly, since you care for her things have gotten serious and you haven’t left her yet.” He pauses, then continues, “
Do you deny that you care for Kat?”

  My heart stops, my breathing is coming in quick burst.
What will he say? Do I want to know? Could I even handle knowing either way?
None of my relationships have ever made it to the whole warm and fuzzy stage. Just a few dates, maybe sex, and then they realize they can’t handle me and leave.

 
“You’re right she is different and yeah I care for her, a lot. Hell, I think I might be...”

  Ryder doesn’t have the chance to finish whatever he was about to say.
He wasn’t going to say…nope he wasn’t.
Rushing into the room, my hand hits the wall because I come around the corner so fast, and a string of curse words come out of my mouth.

 
“That’s my kind of, gal!” Allen says patting Ryder on the back. “Go ahead and get the lady home. And son, make sure the next time you come over you bring her with you.” Sending him a wink, Allen comes up and gives me a hug. “I would love the opportunity to lose against this one in poker, again.”

 
When we get to the car Ryder stops me before I open the door. “How is your hand?” He picks it up gently and examines it.

  “It’s fine.”

  My word isn’t good enough as he continues looking it over and running his fingers over the slight red mark across the top. I wince, and it’s enough for him to notice. “If it was fine, that wouldn’t have hurt you.”

 
“It’s tender. No big deal, I promise.” Shock registers on my face.

  “I must be wearing off on you, because I am pretty sure you told me you don’t like making promises.” Ryder comments.

  “Maybe it’s a good thing that you are wearing off on me.” I retort.

  “Never said it wasn’t.”

***

             
We decide to stop at a drive through on the way home to get something into our bellies. While we eat Ryder ask me where I learnt to play poker like I do, and I tell him. I leave out the part about having to get out of my house, and that I did it because I needed the money. He just laughs at me and tells me that I threw him and his dad a curve ball knowing how to play that well.

 
We make it to my house and find Dave’s truck is in the driveway. Opening the door we find the girls just heading out with Rhett, Dave and Cole following behind them. They stop long enough for me to tell Lexi and Skeigh about ‘meeting the dad’, and they get a kick out of it. When they ask if we want to go out with them, I am just about to tell them sure, but Ryder speaks up first.

 
“Next time. I’m pretty tired.” His arm comes around my waist, “If it’s ok with Kat, I figured we would just stay in.”

 
I take my eyes off my retreating friends and turn to Ryder, “I’m good with that.”

 
Once the door closes leaving us alone. Ryder is all over me before I have the chance to blink. At some point I end up with my ass on the counter, in just my bra and panties. Ryder is down to his jeans and socks, and what a site to behold. Jeans low on his hips, extenuating that line of dark hair that starts at his belly button and disappears below the waistband of his boxers. He starts pulling the straps of my bra down, but I grab his biceps and hold him at arm’s length.

  “
Let’s take this to my room. You never know, they could come back. Personally, I don’t want them walk in on us.” I hop off the counter and pick up the clothes off the floor. Handing them to Ryder I say, “Go ahead, I’m going to me a glass of water. I’ll be right behind you.”

 
He kisses the top of my head before going towards my door. I watch him go, simply because I can’t help myself. I turn the faucet on and stick the glass under the stream. I lean back against the counter and take a few gulps till the cup is empty, then refill it so I can get in my room to Ryder. That’s when it dawns on me. I left with him earlier and left everything from that file covering my bed.
Oh, shit!

             
Dropping the cup in the sink I take off down the hall and throw open my bedroom door. Ryder is standing at the side of my bed, papers in his hand. I am frozen stiff in the doorway.
How much has he read?
I jump into action and start picking up the papers and stuffing them back in the folder, but when I go to snatch the papers out of Ryder’s hand he explodes.

  “What the hell is this shit, Kat?” He demands, holding the papers up.

  “It’s nothing. Just give it to me, please.”

  He takes the folder from my hands and pours the papers I had already picked up,
back on the bed. “This…this stuff is far from nothing.” He scatters them around till he finds the paper he was looking for and puts it in my face. It is what Victoria has on the article so far. “Who is this person talking about? Is this you?”

 
“Just drop it, Ryder.”
Please, just let this go.

  “Hell, no I won’t drop it!” He roars, throwing every
thing in his hands to the floor and taking a step towards me. “Answer me. Is this you these people are all talking about? All this shit. Is it you it’s about?” I don’t move, or reply. Hell, I am not sure if I am breathing. “Is this you?”

  “Yes.” I manage to croak out. Ryder crooks his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

  “Are these stories just that, stories? Or are they real life?” His face mask any emotion he is feeling. I can’t tell if that adds to the anger that his question just evoked from me, or not. Is he seriously asking if what he was reading was true? Does he not believe it happened like the ones in the interviews? Fury, rage, and hurt simmer to the surface. I try and hold them back but it’s not use, I explode.

 
“What do you want to hear Ryder? Are you sure you want the truth? Can you take it? Because when I came out and told the truth before, no one else could. No one, not even my mother could handle when I told her that her husband, the man that had raised me since I was a baby, was molesting me! The man that on paper was my father, seeing as he adopted me after he married my mother. Not a single person in my town, cousins, aunts and uncles, friends, not even my grandparents could believe that their precious deacon of the church could do such a thing.

  “I didn’t have one person who believed me, not a single person I could turn to. I became the town nut
, the liar. The girl who would make up something that crazy, just to get some attention.” Tears are running down my face in streams at this point. I look at the blur that is Ryder from my tears, but I keep going. “I was five when he started. Five, when he made me do things to him. A year later he progressed on to touching me. I was ten when I had enough and finally told. Ten when I lost everyone close to me.

 
“My mother was always working. Being a caretaker she had crazy hours. She was mostly gone at night so the family could get some rest, while she watched over whomever. As she was next to someone else’s bedside tending to them, he would be at mine. He would come in my room shutting the door behind him leaving nothing but him, me, and the darkness. Once the door would click close he would say my name as he got closer.” I bow my head to my chest and walk over to the window. I let out a sarcastic laugh and look over my shoulder, “Hell up until you, no man has been able to call me Katrina. When I left I changed my last name because it was his. I didn’t want anything that belonged to him, but Katrina, that’s my name. He took everything from me, but that.”

  I drop to the floor and pull my knees to my chest. Wrapping my arms around them, I rock back and forth slowly as I cry.
I don’t know how long I am there before I feel Ryder sit behind me and try to pull me to him. I fight him for a while because he didn’t want to believe either. In the end I am too weak and fall into him. He doesn’t say anything, just lets me cry. Just like in my dream, he brings the light into my darkness.

 
The tears have stopped, but simply because there aren’t any more to cry. Ryder is rubbing my back in an effort to make me better. What he doesn’t know is him just being here with me after everything I told him, is enough.  “Why are you still here?” I say, trying to understand. I wipe my wet face with the backs of my hands and sit forward. “And holding me?”

  “There is no way I would leave you after finding out something like this. Is that what you think of me?” Ryder replies. Hurt is evident in his tone.

  “I don’t think of you badly Ryder. It’s simply what I am used to.” I shake my head. “You yourself just asked me if it was true, you don’t believe me either.”

  I get to my feet and cross my arms over myself. Hearing his deep voice I turn to face him. “
I asked you if it was a story.” He points with his finger like he is making a point. A smile sneaks onto my face when he realizes it. “Ok, so it was the same thing, but I didn’t mean it like that.” His long lashes lower as he sighs, “I started picking up those papers and caught your name. So I started scanning and that turned into reading every detail. It’s not that I didn’t believe you, darlin’, more like I was praying that it wasn’t real. That you didn’t really go through all that.”

 
The fist that has been clenching at his sides loosens. I bring my eyes up his body till our gazes connect. There is fire and sadness there I haven’t seen before. It only comes natural that when he stalks towards me, closing in what little distance we did have, I back up. The back of my legs hit the bed, so I sit and shrink away from him. He gets down on his knees in front of me at the bed and starts, “I am so sorry I made you think that I would doubt you. I couldn’t, because when some truly loves someone they believe them without a shadow of doubt. You don’t have to question them or ask for proof, you just know. And I love you, Katrina.”

 
“Wh…what?” I stutter.

 
“I am yours.” He punctuates each word. “I’m in love with you, Katrina.”

  I am pretty sure that my heart jumped in my throat. I can hear my pulse in my ears, beating so fast I couldn’t count it if I wanted to. “No you
’re not.” I push out.

  “Pretty sure I know what I feel. At first I thought I was just falling for you, but watching you with Bethany the other day and then with my dad today, I knew. I love you.
I
promise.
” It speeds out of his mouth.

  I think he is just as
surprised by the force in his voice. Like what he is saying needed to come out or he would explode. I can see the compassion for me in his eyes. He stands and slowly makes his way in the bed. Once he is lying down he pulls my back against his chest so that we are spooning. Our bodies completely aligned with one another. My head rest on one of his arms as the other coils around my waist.

 
“I’m not expecting you to feel the same way right now and I don’t want to pressure you to say something that you don’t feel. I just want to be close to you tonight. To hold you next to me.” His lips skim my neck and place a gentle kiss there.

  “
You’re amazing. You know that?” A yawn interrupts me, but I continue, “I’m not sure I deserve someone like you.”

  His arm tightens
around my waist as he says, “Goodnight, Katrina.”

  Just as I hit the brink of
oblivion
I hear Ryder whisper he loves me against the back of my neck. I fall over the ledge of sleep with a smile on my face.