From Nanny To Wife (22 page)

"You're welcome," Ryan said. Reluctant to say good night, he lingered. "Do you want me to wake you in the morning? We need to leave at five-thirty."

"My cell phone has a built in alarm clock," Hope explained. "I'll set it and keep it close so I will hear it."

Ryan moved closer. "Don't forget to take your pill in the morning. Remember, an hour-"

"Before the flight," Hope finished for him. "I haven't forgotten."

"Then I guess I should say good night then." Ryan leaned in close and brushed his lips across Hope's. "Good-"

"I'm not ready for you to go." Hope embraced Ryan and pressed her cheek to his.

The softness of her body combined with the fragrance of her perfume sent a shaft of desire through Ryan. Gritting his teeth, he held himself still and waited for it to be over so he could escape to his room before he did something stupid. Like beg her to spend the night with him. Just when he thought he was going to lose his mind, Hope unwound her arms from around him and stepped back.

"Good night, Ryan," she murmured.

Ryan touched her cheek. "Good night, Hope. Sleep well."

"You too."

Ryan waited for her to enter her room and shut the door before he walked down the hallway to his lonely room. He stood in the middle of the room and stared at the empty bed. A feeling of sadness swept over him and his shoulders sagged. He was tired of being alone…tired of denying what he felt for Hope… tired of pretending he wasn't falling in love with her.

I can't go to her,
he thought.
She made it clear the other night she's not ready for a physical relationship. I won't force her.
His mind made up, he went to take a long cold shower.

Hope raised her arm and glanced at her watch. It was twelve-fifty. The plane would land in Newark in forty minutes. Sighing heavily, she tightened her seatbelt and laid her head back against the headrest. Her mind drifting, she thought back over the past several days and she smiled softly. Hope turned her head and studied Ryan who was sitting beside her. He was talking on his cell phone. From what she could make of the conversation, he was talking to Harvey.

"We go to court the fourteenth of January," Ryan told Hope once he ended the call.

"Can't the judge fit us in sooner?" Hope said.

"No." Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Christmas is coming up. Harvey said the judge is busier than usual this time of the year. We have to wait our turn."

Hope nodded. "We'll be fine until then. Let's try not to think about it and just concentrate on Zoe."

"You're right," Ryan said.

"Of course, I am," Hope said. "Have you ever known me to be wrong?"

"No."

"Good answer." Hope checked her watch again.

"Would you stop doing that?" Ryan growled. "You look at that watch one more time and I swear I will break the damn thing."

"I can't help it," Hope said. "I'm anxious to get home."

"You don't think I'm not?" Ryan said. "I miss my little girl."

"I miss her, too," Hope said.

It was shortly after two when Hope and Ryan arrived home. While they had been gone, someone had decorated the outside of the house with lights. The sky overcast, someone had turned on the brightly colored Christmas lights. They were a welcome sight to the weary couple. The car had barely come to a stop when the front door opened and Zoe came running out of the house. The sight of the little girl brought a lump to Hope's throat and she quickly got out of the car.

Zoe threw her arms around Hope's legs and held on for dear life. "Zoe missed Hope."

Teary-eyed, Hope knelt down and hugged Zoe. "I've missed you, too, little one."

"What about me?" Ryan said, coming around the car.

Zoe released Hope and ran to Ryan. "Pick up, Daddy," she said, holding up her arms.

Ryan scooped Zoe up into his arms and kissed her cheek. "Did you miss Daddy?"

"Yep," Zoe said.

"Good because Daddy missed you." Ryan looked at Hope. "Let's go in. I will get the suitcases later."

Hope fetched her purse and the bag that had the stuffed turtle in it from the back seat and led the way inside. She discovered Maggie, William and Gordon waiting in the foyer. After hugs were
exchanged, everyone headed to the family room. A large lit Christmas tree waiting to be decorated sat in one corner. Next to it, boxes that contained the ornaments were stacked neatly.

"Bring me present?" Zoe asked Ryan.

"Hope has something for you." Ryan set her on her feet and she ran to Hope.

Hope took the stuffed turtle from the bag and gave it to Zoe. "I saw him and knew he was meant for you."

"Thank you," Zoe said, wrapping her arms around the stuffed toy.

"You're welcome," Hope said. "He needs a name."

"Kenny," Zoe said.

"That's my grandson's name," Maggie whispered to Hope. "She was playing with him yesterday."

"Kenny is a good name," Hope said. "Now I believe we have a Christmas tree that needs to be decorated."

"We help," Zoe said, referring to her and the turtle.

Hope turned toward Ryan. "Help us decorate the tree."

"All right," Ryan said quietly.

While Hope, Ryan and Zoe decorated the tree, Maggie, William and Gordon stood in the doorway and watched the new family. It did their hearts good to see their employer with a smile on his face. How long his happy mood would last, none of them had a clue. Ryan Kendall's mood was like the weather, always changing and unpredictable.

Chapter 24

On a cold night in mid December, a week before Christmas, Hope sat on the floor near the tree and wrapped presents. Other than the fire crackling in the grate, the house was quiet. Zoe was asleep and William, Maggie and Gordon had retired to their rooms early. Ryan was not home yet. Hope checked the clock above the fireplace and sighed heavily. It was after eight. Lately Ryan had taken to coming home late. Sometimes it was after ten when his car pulled into the driveway. Why he was working so hard, she did not know. The only thing she knew for sure was that she was worried about him.

Hope reached for a roll of wrapping paper just as Ryan strolled into the family room. "How was your day, dear?" she asked her eyes twinkling.

"Busy," Ryan answered, jerking his tie loose. He undid the top button on his shirt as he sat down on the couch.

Hope set the wrapping paper aside and got up off the floor. She moved to the couch and took a seat beside him. "Are you hungry? I can make you something."

"I ate dinner at my desk," Ryan said.

Hope eyed him closely and saw the lines of fatigue that bracketed his eyes. Her heart broke at the sight. "Oh, Ryan. You can't keep working at this pace. You look exhausted."

"I'm fine," Ryan said.

"You don't look fine," Hope said.

"Gee thanks," Ryan said sarcastically.

"I'm worried about you," Hope said.

"Don't worry," Ryan muttered.

"I can't help it. You have to slow down before-"

"Stop nagging at me," Ryan snarled. "I got enough of that from Laura to last a lifetime. I don't need it from you."

Hope rose from the couch. "Sorry if I give a damn about you. I don't want to lose you, Ryan."

"You mean you don't want to lose Zoe," Ryan said. "You lose me, you lose her. Be honest with me, Hope. This concerned wife bit is all an act. Zoe is the only one you care about. You agreed to marry me because you were desperate to be a mother. Since you can't conceive, you were more than happy to settle for Zoe. It was an added bonus that she came with money."

A mixture of pain and anger engulfed Hope. She shoved the pain deep down inside and held fast to her anger. She closed the distance between her and Ryan in three short strides. Leaning down,
she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and looked into his eyes. "You listen to me, you son of a bitch. I don't give a damn about your precious money. I married you because I love you. I don't know how I can love a man I know next to nothing about, but I do. I won't deny that Zoe means everything to me, but you mean everything to me, too." She released his shirt, straightened up, and turned her back on him. "Go to bed, Ryan. You look like hell."

"And you look beautiful," Ryan said softly.

Hope gazed at the fire. "Don't say things like that. I can't stay angry when you do." She felt Ryan's breath on the back of her neck and his body heat warming her.

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you." Ryan placed his hands on Hope's shoulders and turned her around to face him. "It's been a long day filled with one problem after another. I'm tired and in a bad mood. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Will you forgive me? Please."

"Did you mean the things you said?" Hope asked.

Ryan touched her cheek with the back of his hand. "No, of course not."

Hope searched his face for some sign that he was lying and found none. He looked genuinely sorry. "All right. I forgive you. I'm sorry for calling you a son of a bitch."

"I deserved it," Ryan told her.

Hope smiled weakly. "Yes, you did."

Ryan leaned in close and kissed Hope on the lips. "I'm going to go upstairs and check on Zoe."

"Try not to wake her," Hope said. "I had a difficult time getting her to go to sleep. She was missing her daddy."

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty for working late?" Ryan asked with an arched brow.

Hope smirked. "Yes. Is it working?"

Ryan headed toward the door. "What do you think?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

Ryan entered Zoe's room and made his way to the bed. Bob who was curled up at the foot of the bed raised his head and began to growl.

"Quiet, you mutt," he said in a low voice. "You wake Zoe up and I'll kick your dirty-"

"Daddy," Zoe said sleepily.

Ryan glared at the dog before turning his attention to his daughter. "I'm here, baby girl." He bent over Zoe and kissed her forehead. "Go back to sleep."

"Zoe loves Daddy."

"I love you, too, baby girl."

Ryan tucked the blankets around Zoe and kissed her one more time. He left the bedroom, walked downstairs, crossed the foyer and stepped into the family room. Hope was on the floor in front of the Christmas tree wrapping a large box. Ryan stopped in his tracks and looked at her. In glow of the firelight, she was beautiful. As he watched her love surged within him and he longed to tell her how he felt, but he could not. He was not as brave as she was. He was afraid that by telling her he loved her he would be giving her the power to hurt him.