From The Wreckage - Complete (21 page)

The first day of her senior year rolls around the next Monday; two weeks late and in defiance of all the wishes and prayers from Jules that this year would never happen. Unbeknownst to anyone, she cries silently in the shower for a good twenty minutes before she is able to pull herself together. Makeup covers the dark circles and blush makes her pale skin glow, but inside? Inside she is numb. 

The night before, she has another dream with Tanya in it. They are running hand in hand, laughing and shouting like they did on Friday nights, when they run across the football field. The crowd cheers, florescent lights shine down and they are happy. A piercing scream from Tanya's chest replaces the laughter on their lips as a giant black cloud falls from the sky and lands in front of them. The powerful funnel pulls at Tanya, her hand is ripped violently from Jules' grasp and she disappears. Before Jules can scream, she is hit in the back by something heavy, which jolts her awake with a cry. The nightmare leaves her shaken, yet again. 

As she puts the finishing touches on her first day look, her cell buzzes at her from her nightstand.

Spike: Hey gorgeous! Sure I can't pick you up?

They had the same conversation several times over the weekend. Her parents are totally against her riding on his bike, and his car is currently with his older brother at school while his is in the shop. Katie and Jules are going to ride together, the way they would have if Tanya were still alive. 

Jules: You know I'm riding with Katie

West: I know, but I can't wait to see your face. I want everyone at Rossview to know you’re mine. Sit in the car & wait for me?

Jules: LOL. You're kidding, right?

West: No

Jules: West!

West: You don't know those guys. They're vultures when a hot girl is around. You're wearing a bag, right?

She laughs as she looks down at her short dress and ankle boots. Replying 'Of course. See you soon!' she is happy to feel a smidge lighter as she makes her way down the stairs.

It’s too early for Jason to be awake yet, but Jules is surprised to find her mom and dad in the kitchen, sitting over coffee.

"Good morning, my senior girl!" her mom sings; awfully bright and cheery for such an early hour.

Jules mimics the caveman 'Ugh' and grabs a glass for some juice. 

"Do you have time to eat something? I made bacon. Want me to fry up an egg?"

Jules hasn't eaten a 'real' breakfast before school since elementary school. In middle school it transitioned to Pop-tarts and Toaster Strudels, then she converted to Slim Fast shakes for a while in the erroneous assumption that her tiny frame was too athletic, thanks to years of gymnastics and cheerleading. By her sophomore year, she became more secure with herself and reverted back to a quick Pop-tart out the door, which is undoubtedly the breakfast of champions. Starbucks had also become a morning staple, especially when she chose to ride with the girls over Stuart. 

With a quick glance at her watch, she pulls the microwave open to snag a strip of extra crispy bacon. 

"Katie will be here any minute. We didn't know how long it would take us to get there with all the detours and traffic." She sets her empty cup on the counter and grabs a water bottle and the lunch she packed the night before.

"Picture first."

"Mom, I need to run," Jules lies. She isn’t in the mood to commemorate this day. 

"Oh, just a quick one," her mom insists, already waving the camera in her hand. With a sigh, Jules trudges to the front door where she always poses for the annual picture. "Say ‘senior’!" her mom sings teasingly as the flash blinds Jules.

"Yay," Jules grumbles, and her dad frowns at her while her mother's face sinks.

"It's not much to ask for, Jules. Just one smile. It's your last first day of school, honey," he reminds her softly.

"I suppose I should be dancing, seeing as how I'm
so
lucky to be alive," Jules snaps. 

"Honey?" 

Katie's red car pulls up in front of the house and Jules fakes a smile. "Have a good day."

With a quick jerk of the door, she stalks to the car without another word to her parents. How can they be so insensitive to how she feels today? A first day of school picture? What did it matter anymore?

She folds herself into Katie's little coupe and Katie speaks the exact thoughts she has. "Too soon to skip?"

"Probably."

"Bummer."

They pull away from the curb, her parents standing in the door watching them, and Jules sighs heavily for the one-hundredth time that morning. 

Katie eyes her carefully as she speeds through the streets of her neighborhood. "So, I've been a mess all morning. You?" 

"Yeah. It wasn't supposed to be like this, K."

"I know," she agrees sadly. Jules looks at her best friend and smiles slightly at her outfit. They'd all gone shopping for school clothes together a few weeks ago, and planned their matching, yet slightly different, back-to-school outfits. They had done it for years, in honor of their matching backpacks on their first day of Kindergarten when they all met. Today it consists of matching dresses and boots, but the dresses are each different color schemes. They are a trendy Aztec print, but where hers is earth-toned orange and turquoise, Katie’s is pastel-toned pink and blue. Tanya, had she been here, would have worn brighter, almost fluorescent tones.

It is very reminiscent of their personalities. Jules, the laid-back, earthier girl; Katie, the sweet one; and Tanya, the loud, boisterous one. Jules sniffs and tries to contain the pain that comes with the memories. 

"We have just enough time!"

"For?"

"Tradition, Juju. Tradition." 

They pull into the Starbucks drive-thru along with the hordes of other patrons and Jules brightens. Maybe a frappe will get her day going. Candy Crenshaw and two other girls from Hillsdale walk out of the Starbucks and Katie waves. 

"Jules! Katie!" Candy shrieks and bounces to the car.

"Whoa, she must have ordered a double," Jules mumbles to Katie.

"Y'all are heading to Rossview, aren't you?" Candy pouts. Jules thinks it looks a little disingenuous, and she wonders when she got so jaded with her friends. Candy has always been an annoyingly peppy attention seeker, but they never had an issue with one another.

"How are you doing, Jules?" Candy asks, and Jules snaps from her thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I was saying I heard about you and Stuart. How are you? I can't believe the golden couple is no more. Everything is going to be so different this year." 

"You think?" she mocks Candy's high-pitched voice, throwing in a fake laugh. Katie glares at her reproachfully, so Jules rolls her eyes and tries to offer up a more politically correct answer. "I'm good, thanks Candy. It was a mutual breakup and we're both moving on."

"That's not what I heard. I heard Stuart is devastated, although I'm sure those Houston girls will comfort him when he's ready."

The car behind them honks once and Candy steps back from the window when Katie points out that it’s time for them to move forward in line.

"Well girls, technically we're supposed to be enemies now, but let's hang soon, ‘kay?" The three of them wave gaily and rush away.

"For the love of all things holy,
please
run her over," Jules mutters as they walk in front of Katie's car; their little skirts flapping with the breeze.

"Jeez, Jules. When did you become so angry?"

"
Me
? Did you hear her?" 

"It's Candy! You
know
she doesn’t have a brain. We ignore her rambling, remember?"

Static filters through the car window and Katie orders three Grande mocha frappes with extra espresso.

"Three?" 

Katie finally looks much like Jules feels. Her voice cracks slightly as she repeats "Tradition" again. They are silent as they pay and wait for their drinks. 

"Hey — Candy said Stuart is devastated by our break-up, didn't she? Where would she hear a thing like that?"

"Come on, Jules. Don't bother thinking about it. You know gossip and Candy."

She eyes her friend skeptically but decides to let it go. A few other teens from Hillsdale come and go as they sit idling, and she finds herself wondering who will be at Rossview with them and who was sent to Robinson or the other two schools nearby. 

"All right, so maybe I planned this a little too much," Katie admits once they get their drinks and right before they pull out of the Starbucks parking lot. She grabs her iPhone and fumbles with the screen to pull up her music. As if they share a mind, Jules feels a conflicted smile coming on. The speakers go live with the a cappella version of ‘Don't Stop Believing’ and she breaks out into laughter. This has been their song — hers, Katie's and Tanya's — for years, since the very first episode of Glee. What a fitting song to play today.

"I'm so glad you thought of this!" Jules shouts over the singing.

"One more stop." She grins back at her and Jules knows where they are headed. A quick glance at the clock shows they should have barely enough time, but Jules doesn’t care…she'll be late for today.

A few minutes later they pull into the memorial gardens where Tanya is buried. The winding road through the property is covered in huge shade trees, and flowers bloom along the way as they make it to the back of the property where the lake and Tanya's final resting place are located.

Jules gasps when they drive over a small ridge and she spots several cars she recognizes parked along the road in front of her.

"K!" she cries, and immediately feels the tears springing to her eyes. Katie slows to a stop at the curb behind Jeff's car and puts the vehicle in park.

"I couldn't start this day without her, Jules, and I was kinda banking on you feeling the same way." She twists in her seat, a stray tear running down her cheek under her sunglasses.

"I totally feel the same. Of course I do." 

Grabbing the extra frappe, they climb out of the car. Katie waits for Jules to reach her side and they thread their arms together to walk towards the grave site. 

"Can we try to hold it together, though? I don't want to start our first day at Ross resembling a raccoon," she teases. Katie flips her glasses up and reveals make-up free eyes with a wink. "You skank! You could have warned me we'd be doing this."

"Sorry. I brought my make-up though, so no worries."

Smiling and crying at the same time…that is something she never knew she could do until Tanya's death. She has laughed so hard at cheesy movies that she cried, but to cry because her heart and soul are devastated and yet be able to laugh too? Nope – that’s a first. Tommy's truck is parked in front of Jeff's car and Jules smiles, happy they are here for this too. She is thinking about how much Tanya would love all this attention when she passes Tommy's truck. There, sitting at the curb hidden by Tommy's monster truck, she spots a black motorbike and freezes.

"A little birdie may have told me," Katie hints, and Jules feels the last of her walls break down. She hurries towards the grave site, dragging Katie along since their arms are linked together. West is here,
for her!
Her whole body feels warm and the tears start to drip from her eyes. Her artfully applied mascara and eyeliner start to burn her eyes.

They walk around a large copse of trees and bushes, and there the girls find Jeff, Tommy and West standing before them. Tommy is kneeling down at the grave with his head low as if he’s talking to Tanya, and Katie lets out a choked sob when she sees him. Jeff and West stand back next to a tree; respectfully giving Tommy some privacy. Her eyes lock on West and she notices the way he leans casually against the tree with his feet crossed at the ankles. In his hand he holds a single rose.

Jeff turns towards Tommy and she hears his low voice before he starts towards her and Katie. Tommy stands and wipes his arm across his face before he turns to face them as well.

Jules carries the extra frappe in her hand, but it doesn’t stop her from walking straight to West and throwing her arms around him. They don’t speak, neither of them, they simply hug. He wraps one arm tightly around her back, and the other takes its place at the base of her skull. She feels his chin resting on the top of her head, and through all the pain she feels, she also feels relief. West brings strength and relief with him every time he touches her.

"This isn't a bag you're wearing," he whispers, and she lets out a half-laugh, half-sob. Her chest hurts from holding it all in. "You look gorgeous, though."

She feels his lips press onto the top of her head and she tilts up so he can place another kiss on her forehead. 

"I can't believe you're here."  

West releases her head and wipes the tears from her cheek using his thumb. "I care about you, why
wouldn't
I be here?"

"You were playing with me this morning?" she asks; thinking about his text earlier asking to pick her up.

"Was I?" he wonders aloud, with his bad boy smile locked firmly in place. "My bad. Actually, had you told me you wanted me, I would have come."

Slowly she stretches up and kisses his lips. "I did want you, but I knew Katie would need me today just as much as I needed her."