From The Wreckage - Complete (25 page)

“Sweetie, I don’t think Mother Nature takes revenge on depraved societies,” Jules deadpans.

“Well, God, then. Do we blame him? Who do I blame for this piece of shit hand that we got dealt, huh?”

 Taken aback at the venom in her best friend’s voice, Jules tries to maintain her calm. She thinks about how she speaks with Jason, calm and cool, when all she really wants to do is knock him over the head.

“It just happened. We can’t blame God. We lived, didn’t we?” she points out. Jules is well aware of the desire to want to pin the blame on someone. She’s gone over all the places to lay blame and comes up empty every time; with the exception of herself, of course.

“We lived,” Katie repeats and then lowers her voice. “But she didn’t.”

Tears spring to her eyes. “No she didn’t.”

“I hate this school already.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they’re known for their friendly student body.”

Katie snorts. It’s a half-cry, half-laugh type of sound that brings a chuckle from Jules’ own lips. “Girl, they sure seem friendly. I’ve had to tell off two hoes already for hitting on Jeff. And that was just in the hallway!”

Jules knows the feeling well after seeing the covetous looks West received in the parking lot and halls this morning.

“Are we going to get through this, Jules? This year, I mean. All of the ‘last times’, and she isn’t here with us,” Katie bemoans. She closes her eyes as tears streak her face again. She’s a mess and Jules’ restraint finally breaks as she pulls her best friend into a tight hug.

“We have to make it for her. Okay? We take every second we have and we live. We make up for the time she didn’t get.”

“You know she would be so bored to walk a mile in our shoes, right?”

The wild child. That was Tanya
, Jules thinks to herself.

“So we walk a mile in hers.”

Katie pulls back from their hug with a sad smile on her face. “Deal.”

 

“Seven words. ‘So we walk a mile in hers’. Those seven words set off a series of events that completely changed my senior year. With that pact, my grieving heart took on a new mission. Find closure, retrace Tanya’s steps and, understand the part of her I never knew. It had hurt the night of the tornado to realize from West that Tanya partied with him more often than I ever knew. It hurt earlier that summer when Tanya confessed to her secret relationship with Carter, and then again when Katie said Tanya was confiding in her about her love life.”

“Suddenly I was hungry for answers and understanding. It’s a downfall of mine; always curious. Never leave things unresolved. Walk a mile in her shoes…I was ready to try.”

 

“How was your first day?” her mom calls from somewhere in the house. Jules drops her bag on the floor by the steps and follows the heavenly smell of cookies into the kitchen. On the counter are her mother’s famous chocolate chip cookies sitting on a smiley face platter with matching smiley face glasses, waiting for her and Jason. The plate and glasses have been around since she started Kindergarten, and Jules’ eyes water at the sight of them.

“Mom?” 

“Coming, coming.” She hears the echo of her mother’s footsteps on the floor as she hurries in from wherever she’s been. “Sorry, honey,” she exclaims; flying into the kitchen looking frazzled and out of breath. Her normally slicked back, strawberry blonde hair is pulled up in a sloppy bun and her face is shining with sweat.

“What in the world have you been doing?” Jules asks as she pulls out the milk and fills a glass.

“Oh, I was working downtown today, and then I rushed home to get the cookies and things ready for you and Jase. I just lost track of time.”

Jules knew her parents had been trying to volunteer as much as they could in the clean-up process for the town. Even though her dad went back to work, he still takes time over the weekends to lend a hand, and her mother was excited for school to start today so she could do more to help.

“You worked downtown? Doing what?”

“Just clean-up work. Never mind about that. Sit — tell me about your first day.” Her mom forces a smile, pulls up a barstool and pats the seat with her palm. Jules sits down and reaches for a cookie.

This is the ritual. Her mom sits at the counter and they eat cookies, drink milk and discuss the first day of school. In Kindergarten, it was all about how she met two little girls with the same backpack as her and how they played on the big, new playground at school. In third grade, she remembered going home and complaining because Katie wasn’t in her class that year.
How dare they break up the Three Musketeers?
her mother protested on her behalf. She recalled middle school and telling her mom about the boys, who up until then had been sort of ‘icky’, and how they were starting to have some appeal. 

But today? Her last first day of school, where she comes home and has this conversation with cookies and milk at the counter — what can she say?

“It was…different. It’s almost like starting high school all over again, except for the cliques are all formed and now I’m on the outside.”

“Aw, hun, you have always been great at making friends. I have no doubt you will fit into whatever clique you choose. Granted, your father and I would prefer if you were just you.”

“I
am
me, mom. I’m not looking for groups. I just want to graduate,” she admits; a huge bite of cookie filling her mouth. Her mom opens her mouth to speak and checks herself. 

“Tell me more. How were your teachers?”

Jules goes on to tell her about the classes and the differences in the building compared to Hillsdale. She decides to tell her about the morning stop at the cemetery to see Tanya. 

“That was extremely sweet. The Riveras will appreciate that, sweetie. You said West was there?”

She notices a slight emphasis put on West’s name when her mom says it. She told her parents about him spending last Friday with her and Jason, and how they were seeing each other, but left off the official boyfriend/girlfriend status. Her father doesn’t seem to have an opinion, and her mother just smiles about it all. She did warn her to let them know the next time she planned to have a boy spend the day at the house when they weren’t there. In other words, don’t.

“Yeah, Katie invited him to surprise me,” she explains as her cell goes off. She’s happily surprised to find the caller ID showing West’s nickname, Spike. An actual phone call from a boy — not just a text — but human to human conversation. Unreal. Hitting the green answer button, she holds the phone up, indicates to her mom she’s going to take the call and then jumps off her stool and steps out the back door.

“Hey.”

“Miss me yet?”

“Of course.” She says with a smile as she sits on the patio chair and stretches her legs out in front of her.

“Then walk out your front door.” 

The phone goes silent and Jules jumps up; hurrying back into the house and through the kitchen, startling her mom as she flies past.

“Jules?” she calls after her as Jules rushes to the front door. Her eyes catch a shadow through the glass windows on either side of the front door. Pulling the door open, she stops as she spies West standing there with a bouquet of colorful flowers in his hand.

She screeches excitedly as she pushes the glass door open and throws herself in his arms. His right arm thrusts up to protect the flowers while he hugs her with his left.

“Jules?” her mom calls again, worry in her voice, but Jules ignores her as she wraps her arms around West’s neck and holds him tightly.

“Hi!” 

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

He moves his hand to her waist and pushes her back gently, holding the flowers out to her. “I figured we needed to talk about today. In person.”

“And this talk requires flowers? That can’t be good,” she replies; her voice tight. West gives her a slight shake of his head as he looks beyond her to the door.

“Mrs. Blacklin,” he acknowledges; alerting Jules that her mom is behind them.

“Hi, West. Nice to see you again. Jules, sweetie, I’m going to clean up quickly before Jason gets home.” She looks at her watch and then back at Jules and West. “You’re not going anywhere.” She wasn’t asking, but rather stating a fact.

“Sure, we’ll go out back,” Jules agrees; tugging on West’s hand and pulling him into the house.

“Your mom hates me,” he sighs once she puts the flowers in a vase and they are situated outside. They walk up the hill in her backyard to her old play set. Jules sits on a swing while West leans against the slide.

“She doesn’t hate you. She’s just overly worried lately. I’ll talk to her.”

She rocks back and forth in the swing, kicking her foot at the ground. She always loved swinging as a child. The feeling of flying always made her feel free…the breeze moving over her skin, blowing her hair about her face. 

West stares at her for a few silent moments with an unreadable expression on his face before finally grinning. “Tell me about your day.”

“It kind of sucked,” she confesses, and he steps in front of her and grabs the chains on either side of her head to hold the swing still. His legs straddle hers and he looks down at her.

“I think I owe you an explanation.”

She tenses and her fingers tighten their grip on the swing chains as she leans back to look at him. At six foot-four he is one foot taller than her, and his shoulders are broad and muscular; tapering down to a flat waist and long legs. He towers over her as she sits there, and her insides go crazy looking at him. 

“Remember when I told you I was afraid to screw things up with you?” he asks carefully; watching her face for every expression she makes. Catching her lower lip between her teeth, she nods. “I’m not the golden boy, Jules. You get that, right?”

“Just tell me.” 

“Come here.” He offers her a hand and pulls her up from the swing as he glances around the yard. “Climb on up,” he orders; pointing to the top platform of the play set with the striped canopy over the top.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. I want to sit and talk, and we need privacy to do that.”

They both climb up and sit across from each other. West’s long legs are bent, while she’s able to stretch hers out in front of her.

“Here’s the deal. I’m not particularly friends with many people, but I know a lot of people, you know?” 

“Parties?”

“Pretty much. Everyone knows my dad — Carson and Austin, too — so I think they feel like they know me.”

“So that girl, Bri?” Jules is hesitant to bring her up, but figures it’s best to get everything on the table now.

“Bri is just a girl. We’ve partied and hung out, but it’s always been casual.”

“You’ve hooked up with her, haven’t you?” 

“Jules…”

“Obviously that’s a yes,” she mutters; crossing her arms. Unbidden jealousy blooms in her chest, and she’s so angry it knocks the wind out of her.

West scoots forward and crosses his legs so he can get closer to her. He reaches out, grabs her arm and pulls it from her chest so he can hold her hand.

“I can’t change what I did before you. Yes, I’ve hooked up with a few girls and you’re going to meet them, whether I like it or not.” He grimaces; weaving his fingers between hers and making a tight fist. “I cringe every time I think of you and Stuart together, so I get it.”

She doesn’t bother to correct his assumption that she had even truly ‘been’ with Stuart in that way.

“So I guess I get to endure nasty looks from every girl at Rossview because of your extracurricular activities?”

“What? Was it really that bad? I thought maybe you and Katie were exaggerating.” He runs his fingers up and down the sensitive skin of her forearm as they talk and her brain starts to stutter. She’s having a hard time thinking of anything other than the feelings his light touch evokes in her.

“Nope, not kidding,” she says with a sigh. “I’ve never gotten so many dirty looks in my life. You know what? I don’t really care, though.”

West leans in and presses a quick kiss to her lips with a smile. “You told me that when we were trapped.”

She shook her head. “I don’t remember.”

“You gave me a list of things you’d change if we were allowed to live.” He makes air quotes as he says ‘allowed’ and she smiles ruefully, thinking about how she can imagine herself making deals and promises with God in exchange for her life. “One of those was that you weren’t going to care what people thought of you anymore.”