From This Moment On (25 page)

“Don’t worry,” Gabe replied. “Nothing’s going to happen to your favorite son.”

“He’s right,” Smith joked. “I’m going to stay here and be just fine.”

Everyone laughed but Lori. As soon as Gabe left, she said, “I can’t help feeling responsible for everything with Marcus and Nico. I mean, Nicola.” Her usually bright smile was completely nonexistent. “I mean, I’m the one who introduced them and then left them to have dinner alone.” She bit her lip. “Or whatever else it was they ended up doing.”

“Don’t feel bad, Naughty. Evidently he met her before you introduced them.”

Lori looked at Chase with huge eyes. “No way. He had no idea who she was when I introduced them and she—” Her words fell away. “Oh my God, Marcus must have been the guy she was telling me about that day at the studio. And then they both tried to act like they didn’t know each other. No wonder he was so weird that afternoon and she kept forgetting the steps that she’d known all morning.”

Everyone leaned in closer. “What did she say to you about him?” Sophie asked.

Suddenly, Lori seemed to realize that she was spilling Nicola’s secrets. “I shouldn’t tell you guys.”

Ryan and Smith grinned at each other, both of them knowing how close they were to getting more dirt on their until-now perfect older brother. “We’ve already seen the worst of it, Lori,” Ryan said, followed by Smith with, “Maybe we can help him if we know more.”

Seeing right through her sons, Mary said, “Smith, Ryan, I think we’ve already seen and heard enough about their private business.”

“Mom’s right,” Lori said. “Besides, all she said was that she met some guy the night before and then she fell asleep on his lap before they’d even kissed.”

Zach laughed out loud. “Poor sap couldn’t even keep her awake.”

Mary shushed her kids. “Enough. We’re not going to sit here gossiping about your brother when there are tables that need clearing and plates that need washing.”

After everyone hopped to attention, Chloe said to Chase, “Your mother is so sweet that sometimes I forget she raised eight children on her own and knows perfectly well how to handle all of you.”

“She didn’t do it alone. Marcus helped her more than any of us.” He twined his fingers through hers and pulled her close to him beneath the shade of a large oak tree. “He sacrificed a ton for us. He deserves a happy ending.”

Chloe tilted her face to look into his eyes. “I’m betting he’ll get one. Really, really soon.”

“How can you say that after what went down here today?”

“Women’s intuition. Nicola is in love with him.” Before he could ask how she knew, Chloe pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then said, “A woman in love always recognizes the signs in another woman in love. Like Lori said, suddenly it all makes sense—the way they couldn’t take their eyes off each other during lunch, the way he jumped all over Gabe for making her laugh and Ryan for calling her gorgeous. I guarantee Nico is head over heels for your brother, whether she wants to be or not.”

“Good thing Sullivan men are so persuasive, isn’t it?”

Chloe wound her arms around Chase’s neck as he pulled her closer
.

“Yes. It’s a very good thing.”

Chapter Twenty-two

Marcus came flying out of the house, only to stop short when he saw Nicola standing beside Lori’s car. Nicola knew that if she were smart, she’d keep running away from Marcus, away from everything that hurt so damn bad.

But she’d come here today to face him down one last time, hadn’t she? Only to panic in front of his entire family.

“Your sister picked me up and brought me here. I can’t leave without her.”

“Don’t leave.” Marcus approached her slowly, cautiously. “Please don’t leave.”

She could still taste the sweetness of his kiss as she licked her lips. “I shouldn’t have run like that.” She swallowed hard, made herself say, “Not when I know we need to talk.”

She saw relief mix with wariness on his face as he came closer. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you back there.”

“It’s okay.” And it was, because she understood the desperation he’d felt. How could she not, when she felt it too?

“No, Nicola. You deserve better. So much better.” He reached out a hand to her. “Give me another chance. Please.”

She wanted so badly to take his hand, to give him that chance.

But she couldn’t. Not when she knew it would only end up hurting him.

“Marcus.” Her throat caught on his name. “Is there somewhere we can go that’s more private than this?”

He nodded, his jaw tight as he dropped the hand she hadn’t taken. He led them down the sidewalk to a short path that cut between houses. A small children’s playground that looked like it hadn’t been used in a decade sat forlornly beneath the old oak trees.

“We used to come here and play when we were kids.”

Her heart ached for the child Marcus had once been...and for how short his childhood had been. Fourteen years old was far too young to have to shoulder the responsibilities he had taken on.

“Your family is amazing, Marcus.” She sat on a cracked bench. “I’m so glad I got to meet them all. There was so much love in your mother’s backyard
."

He didn’t move to sit beside her, but went to his knees in the dirt before her. She let him take her hands, utterly unable to push him away one more time. Not with her hands, anyway.

“Did you mean what you said on the beach? Were you really falling in love with me?”

She met his eyes, read his pain in them, his surprising fear that she might not actually love him. She shouldn’t admit that she still did.

But she had to.

“Yes,” she said softly. “I love you.”

“Thank God.”

“No,” she said quickly, “I’ve done a lot of thinking since last night.” She swallowed hard, shook her head, tried to fight back the tears that were right there, waiting to fall. “I can guess why Smith wanted to talk to you in the garage. He was warning you about me, about what it would be like to date me, for real, out in the open, wasn’t he?”

“What you and I are doing is none of Smith’s business.”

“No, but I’ll bet everything he said to you about the circus of lives like ours is true.”

“I’ve always liked the circus.”

She wanted to throw her arms around him, wanted to kiss him for saying he would give up everything for her. But she knew she’d never forgive herself for being so selfish. And, ultimately, he’d never forgive her either
.

He’d already given up so much for his family. She couldn’t let him give up even more for her.

“I cheated last night,” she confessed. “I looked you up online. I read all about Sullivan Winery. I saw how magnificently you’ve done with it and what an important role you play in your community. You deserve to have a wife who can support you in all that you do, one who can be an equal partner in it all. Not someone who’s on a different plane every week to another state, another country, another hemisphere. It didn’t take me more than five minutes with your family to see that you’re not like Smith or Lori or even Ryan. You’re not about the party. You don’t need everyone to want to take your picture. You don’t need to use your charm and charisma to try and impress people. Who you are at your core is what’s impressive, Marcus, and you don’t need a big stage or a crowd to know your own worth.”

He opened his mouth to interrupt and she put her hand over his lips before he could say something that would break her resolve
.

“See, the thing is, I know my life is crazy and a circus and even though it sometimes drives me nuts that I can’t go out like a normal person to get a coffee or go see a movie, I still love it. I don’t just want to sing for a little while. I want to be around twenty years from now, still writing and playing songs that millions of people want to listen to.”

“You will.”

“Thank you for believing in me so much,” she told him. “Despite the words we threw at each other yesterday on the beach, you’ve never treated me like a dumb pop star. You’ve respected me and now I need to respect you just as much. It’s just another reason why I can’t do this to you, why I can’t ask you to be a part of my world.”

“Shouldn’t that be my decision, kitten?”

The endearment nearly broke her, enough that she admitted, “Do you know the craziest thing about all of this? I wanted to be the one to heal all of your heartache. But instead—” She had to stop, try to take the breath that was lodged in her throat. “Instead, I was the one who made it all so much worse. I’m so sorry for that, Marcus. So much sorrier than you’ll ever know
."

She made herself slip her hands from his and stand up. “We can’t see each other anymore. If you could take me back to my hotel now, I’d appreciate it
."

Some how, some way, she thought as she turned her back on him to walk away, she was going to keep from sobbing until she was alone
.

And then, long after he was gone, some how, some way, she would have to find a way to stop.

Marcus moved behind her and put his hand on the small of her back. Just as he had that first night. “Everything you said to me out on the beach about choosing wrong because it was easier than really loving and risking everything, was right.”

Surprised, she turned to look him in the eye as he continued with, “I always thought it was my family who needed me. But I’ve finally realized that I needed them just as much. I needed them to hold onto when everything was so scary and difficult and uncertain, when the man I loved most in the world was suddenly gone one day. But when I met you, I realized I’d finally found someone I was willing to let go of them for
."

“No, Marcus,” she said, shaking her head. “You shouldn’t ever have to let go of your family. You have enough love in your heart for all of them and the family of your own you’ll probably have soon.” She made herself choke out the words. “I know you’re going to find someone perfect for you. Perfect for your life.”

“I already have.”

The tears she’d vowed not to let loose began to fall. “Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is. Not when you and I both know no matter how much we want this to work, that it never will.” She looked up at him through her tears. “I’ll never regret being with you. Not when they were the most beautiful moments of my life.” She took a deep breath that shook through her. “I changed my plane to leave tonight instead of tomorrow morning. I should go back and pack up my things.”

She turned to walk back to his mother’s house, when his voice stopped her in her tracks one more time.

“We both know you don’t want this. We both know one kiss, one touch, is all it would take for me to change your mind.”

Gone was the man who’d been pleading with her to listen, to see things from his side. In his place was the dominant lover who had thrilled her so much, made her shiver with desire and showed her the most incredible pleasures.

“You’re right, Marcus,” she agreed, making herself turn to face him again. “I’m powerless against your kisses. I can’t resist the way you touch me.” She looked into his eyes and admitted everything, purposefully gave him a fully loaded arsenal of ammo to use against her. “I can’t fight the hunger in your eyes when you look at me or my reaction to it. But is that what you want? For me to be nothing but a warm, willing body that can’t resist coming for you?”

Dominance turned to anger in a heartbeat, and then he was moving fast, his hands on her shoulders, his mouth punishing hers as he took everything he wanted, everything she wished she could give him, but couldn’t
.

As he’d just pointed out, Nicola knew it was pointless to try and fight his kiss. Even in front of his family she’d been lost to her need for him. Even when he was furious with her for trying to leave when he wanted her to stay, even when she should be furious right back at him for finally treating her like the sex kitten he said she didn’t need to be anymore, all she could feel was his heart beating against hers…along with her love for him beating just as strong, even as he used her weakness for him against her.

But just when she thought he was going to rip off her clothes and take her right there, up against the old metal slide, he pushed her away and held her out at arm’s length.

“This isn’t over between us. Not even close.”

She let herself take one last long look at him. “It has to be over.”

And this time when she made a move to walk away, he let her go.

Only, even after he took her to her hotel, even hours later when she was settled beneath a blanket in First Class and the plane was flying away from San Francisco, she knew better
.

Marcus Sullivan was a man who decided exactly what he wanted and then went out and took it. And for some crazy reason, he seemed to want her
.

As she fell into an uneasy sleep on the plane, even as she told herself she didn’t want him to fight for her, her dreams of Marcus—full of his kisses and caresses, his hungry eyes, and his sweet words of love—wouldn’t let her hide from the truth.

Chapter Twenty-three

It had been fifteen days, six hours, and twenty-three minutes since she’d last seen—or heard—from Marcus.