From This Moment On (26 page)

She’d been wrong. He didn’t want her.

Nicola knew she should be glad about it, happy that she wasn’t going to have to keep resisting him. But she was a long, long way from happy...about as far as she could be, actually.

Her manager walked into her office, waving a fax. “
Billboard
just let me know that
One Moment
debuted at number one on the pop charts! And—wait for it, you’re going to really freak out when you hear this—your entire tour just sold out in two hours! We’re going to need to add dates. A ton of dates. You won’t be seeing your house for a good year and a half if we’re lucky!”

This was everything she’d ever wanted. The huge smash hit. The big, international sold-out tour. But even as she and Jane hugged and high-fived and Jane started talking a mile a minute about how brilliant Nicola had been to shoot another last-minute video for
One Moment
—just her and her guitar on an otherwise empty stage—and insist that the record label release the acoustic version, too, Nicola knew that she would have been so much happier if she could have shared this success with Marcus.

She could almost picture him telling her how proud he was, saying he’d known she could do this.

And that he loved her.

Without warning, one fat tear spilled down her cheek. Fortunately, her manager thought it was happy crying and after planting a kiss on both of Nicola’s cheeks, she grabbed the phone that was ringing off the hook and spun out of the room to go wheel and deal them into a heck of a lot more money.

Nicola walked over to the window and pressed her hand against the glass, staring out at the busy Los Angeles streets below. Three weeks ago she’d been staring out at the streets of San Francisco.

She’d been in so many tall buildings. Had visited so many busy cities. The world was her oyster more now than ever. It wasn’t that it didn’t mean a damn thing without love—of course her success meant something. And yet, love made everything so much richer, so much sweeter. Yes, sex with Marcus had been mind-blowing, but just knowing his arms were waiting to hold her, that she could lay her cheek against the steady beat of his heart...well, that was the kind of happiness that lasted forever
.

Unfortunately, none of that changed the fact that all the reasons she had to leave him were still true.

Still, as Nicola stood in the window, she silently cursed herself for not letting things with Marcus at least linger longer. Why couldn’t she have let herself be happy with him for more than a handful of days?

Nicola turned away from the window with a sigh, knowing exactly why she’d forced herself to get on that plane and leave him for good
.

No matter how hard they might have tried to hide their relationship from everyone around them, eventually they would have been caught. The circus would have pulled Marcus in and turned his perfectly ordered life inside out. She couldn’t have lived with herself for hurting someone she loved like that, couldn’t have stood hearing people question his judgment for getting involved with her.

And yet, a totally contrary part of her wished they hadn’t been quite so good at hiding their relationship from the world, because at least if there had been pictures of the two of them on the Internet, maybe they would have had to deal with each other in some small way...rather than being able to cut each other completely away.

She looked down at her watch and realized she’d now officially made it through fifteen days, six hours and thirty-four minutes without him. At some point, the day would come that she wouldn’t be counting minutes and hours anymore. And at some point, she’d stop hoping that she’d hear her name on his lips again, an out-of-the-blue “Nicola” that would have her looking up at his shockingly beautiful face, her heart racing with anticipation as she waited for him to issue another one of his sensual commands.

* * *

Damn it, setting everything up had taken much longer than he’d anticipated. Too long.

Marcus had never been big on watching TV or reading magazines, but for the past two weeks he’d been glued to them. Until he could be with Nicola again, he needed constant reassurance that the women he loved was okay. He’d been ecstatic when her song had gone straight to number one and her tour had sold out immediately. She deserved all of that and more. So much more.

Lori had turned up on his doorstep a couple of nights ago with a plan to get them back together. She’d been beyond pleased when he informed her that he was already on it, and now while she drove him to the airport, they were listening to Nicola being interviewed on the radio
.

“I’ll be honest with you, Nico,” the radio personality said, “when I first heard
One Moment
it sounded just like any other great pop song that makes me want to dance. But then I saw your acoustic video and finally realized what heart there is behind the song. Tell us about that.”

“I’ve always loved what I do,” she replied, her slightly husky voice washing through Marcus’s veins like the first perfect cool glass of wine on a hot, dry day, “but I recently realized that I’ve only let people see one side of me.”

“What made you decide to show us that other side of yourself, the heart-wrenching singer/songwriter that you’ve been hiding all this time?”

“A friend wasn’t afraid to get in my face about it.” She laughed and he could practically see her smile, her flashing eyes, even across the radio waves. “I’m afraid I didn’t take the advice very well at first, but eventually I came around. And that’s why I went to record the song again that way. I love the full production on my songs, I love dancing with my crew, but a stripped-down version of one of my songs was something I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time.”

“So, Nico, what’s next on your plate to conquer now that you’ve got the number one single in the country and a sold-out tour?”

Marcus could feel Lori’s eyes on him as they waited for Nicola’s response.

“Love.”

The interview over, Marcus turned off the radio just as Lori exclaimed, “God, Marcus, she’s amazing, isn’t she?”

“She is.”

“How could you
not
have fallen in love with her?”

He shook his head, knowing his sister was speaking the complete and utter truth. “I never had a chance.”

Lori covered his hand on the gear shift with her own. “I really hope your plan works out, big brother.”

So did he.

* * *

Boise, Idaho

At the end of the first show on her tour in Boise, Nicola did her final encore, a version of One Moment that began with just her in the middle of stage, playing guitar and singing the acoustic version before kicking into overdrive with a flash of lights and smoke that had every band member coming back on stage...and her body being covered almost head to toe in shimmering sparkles of light.

Her crew had worked with her to retool her show practically every waking minute until opening night to incorporate her dance pop with her new acoustic segments. It had been utterly exhausting. And wonderfully thrilling
.

Nicola had welcomed the work, had driven herself harder than anyone else, partly for the bonus of being too tired to think about Marcus more than every other minute. If the reaction the crowd had given her all night was any indication, it had paid off. Big time.

She was determined to enjoy herself at the celebration tonight with everyone. Even though the most important person hadn’t been out there in the audience, she’d still felt as if he were with her, cheering her on, loving her in a way no one else ever had.

But first, she needed head over to the special meet-and-greet that took place backstage after every show so that she could give something to literacy foundations in each county she played in. Despite the fact that she was exhausted by the time the lights went down on stage and up for the audience, the cause was important enough to her to push through her tiredness for another hour each night.

She walked into the curtained-off area, where Katie, her tour manager, immediately led her over to the first group. Her skin prickled and heated up as she moved through the area, but even as she took a quick glance around the room to look for the only person on earth who had ever made her feel like that, she knew that there was no way Marcus could be in Idaho. She was simply keyed up from the show and her imagination was running away with her very tired mind.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Jimmy, her bodyguard, frowning and talking into his headset in a tense voice. Not sure what was happening, but trusting Jimmy to take care of it, she threw herself into chatting with her fans, smiling into their cameras, signing their CDs and iPod devices and concert T-shirts, never letting herself forget for one second that she was beyond lucky to be in her position.

She had just hugged a young girl goodbye when Katie came up to her with a frown. “Jimmy needs to talk to you.”

That prickling feeling came back as her bodyguard approached. “The man from San Francisco is back, isn’t he?”

“Yes. The cops are on their way to come pick him up.”

The cops? She almost laughed out loud at how absurd the whole thing had become. “He isn’t a stalker,” she said to Jimmy
.

Her bodyguard looked seriously confused. “He isn’t?”

“No, he isn’t.” She took a deep breath. “Where is he? Can you bring him here?”

Jimmy frowned. “If he’s some guy who’s been forcing you to—”

She put her hand on his arm. “Please, I need to see him.”

Not looking at all happy about it, Jimmy nodded. “I’ll go get him.”

Thirty seconds later, when Marcus walked in, closely followed by Jimmy, Nicola had the crazy thought that she’d been fantasizing about him so much, she’d conjured him out of thin air
.

She needed to try and think straight, needed to give herself time to take a few deep breaths and forcefully slow her heartbeat down. She tried to prepare herself for the urge to leap into his arms, but nothing could have prepared her for the look in his eyes.

Pure love
.

And something else that looked like…patience
.

She knew he still wanted her—that much was blatantly clear, judging by the sparks that were flying around in the two feet of open air between them—but at the same time she felt as if he was silently saying
, I will wait for you to come around. However long it takes.

Instead of playing it cool, her hands moved over her heart and she completely forgot that Katie and Jimmy stood close by to make sure she was okay as she all but gasped out the words, “What are you doing here, Marcus?”

He didn’t answer for several long moments as his eyes roved over her face. She was glad for the chance to do the same thing, to drink in the lines the sun had made around his eyes and mouth, to note that while he was still the most beautiful man she’d ever set eyes on, he looked as if he’d lost some weight since she’d last seen him.

Finally, he said, “There’s a label designer in town that I’ve been thinking about using. This was a good chance for me to meet with them
."

None of this felt real and she half-wondered if she was so tired she was dreaming it.

“It was a great show, Nicola. Really incredible. I can’t wait for the next one.”

The next one
?

And then, before she could get her brain or limbs to start working again, he was gone. All three of them watched him turn and leave
.

A beat later, Katie turned to her and said, “You look really pale. Here, sit down.”

Nicola was no fading flower and had never fainted in her life.

But tonight, she knew she’d better take the seat Katie was pushing against the backs of her knees. Either that or she was going to go running out of the venue, calling Marcus’s name like a desperate woman.

She knew by heart the reasons a relationship with him would never work. Good reasons. So instead of running after him on shaky limbs, she forced herself to take a deep breath—and then another dozen when that didn’t work—and tick through those reasons again.

Lord knew, if he was coming back to do this another night, she’d need every one of her walls up and in place to stay strong.

Still, she couldn’t get it all to add up. Her lover had flown all the way up to Idaho to see her show and he hadn’t just grabbed her in front of everyone and kissed her like he had at his mother’s house?

Why hadn’t he kissed her?

* * *

Salt Lake City, UT

Nicola walked offstage after her concert in Salt Lake City the next night and knew she’d killed it. She’d taken each song and yanked every ounce of passion and guts and fun and joy from it. And it had all been for Marcus. She’d sung every love song for him, had moved her body across the stage for his eyes only
.

Just like the previous night, as she greeted her fans she could feel him backstage even without seeing where he was. It took every ounce of concentration to give her all to her fans who had donated so generously to literacy when she knew she’d soon be talking to Marcus again, but she refused to give anything less than her best to everyone in the room.