Full Throttle (16 page)

“Look
, ”
Sammy began, using
her best “teacher is cross” voice. She shifted a little to sit
up,
thinking that being laid back with her legs sprawled
across him was not the best way to assert her feelings. Josh pushed his hand
down gently on her good leg and shook his head.

“No, Sammy. No running. Just tell me, and then I
might let you get up.” He scowled at her, but Sammy could see that he wasn’t
trying to frighten her, he was just being Josh.
Bossy and
scowly, and so sexy.

Sammy sighed. “Well, about three months ago I got
this letter—” Sammy swallowed past the hard lump that formed in her throat and
sighed again. It’d been a long time since she’d had to explain herself to
anyone, a long time since anyone but Rachel even cared. It was hard to let go
of all those pent-up thoughts. In fact, it was frightening. “It said that they
were glad my father had died and that his death had saved them a job.”

Josh frowned. “And that’s it?”

Sammy nodded.
“Until I got the
next one.
That one said that I should watch my back because he is still
angry, and deserves his revenge.” Sammy shrugged with feigned indifference,
even while the familiar panic surged within her veins. “The ones after that
have all been the same. Angry, threatening and … scary.” Sammy shifted, and
this time Josh allowed her to move a little, though he kept his hand on her leg
somewhat possessively.

“And you took these letters to the police?” Josh asked,
his brow even lower than usual, making his expression dark and brooding.

Sammy dipped her head and nodded.
“Yep.
They opened a case and told me to let them know when, or if, I get more.” She
shrugged again. “I got lots more, but they can’t do anything with no proof and
no idea who it might be.”

Sammy glanced up to Josh and watched as his jaw
bunched at the sides. His hand curled tightly around her good leg and his eyes glittered
with something that looked like anger.

“You have no idea?” Josh implored.

“No.” Sammy replied honestly. She could think of no
one. She had wracked her brain for months, poured over every letter at least a
million times trying to garner a clue from each one—nothing. Sammy had, until
recently, lived such a boring existence. Just work and home had been her life. Oh,
and Rachel, of course, but literally nothing else. She knew none of her
father’s friends or co-workers. Sammy had barely been involved in her father’s
life since she was a child, unless it was him dictating to her how to behave,
live or just be…. She could think of no one who could harbor such hate for a
man who was already dead. It made no sense at all.

“No bitter ex’s?” Josh hand grew tighter still on
Sammy’s leg and his jaw bunched again.

Sammy shook her head and snorted a bitter sounding
laugh. “No. My ex’s do not harbor any bitterness or leftover feelings for me.
Believe me.” Sammy cleared her throat and shook her head.

Josh raised a questioning brow. “Why do you say it
like that?”

Sammy frowned and shook her head. She dipped her
eyes and mentally chastised herself for sounding like a lonely singleton.
“Nothing.”
She hedged, hoping Josh would drop the subject of
her disastrous love life, or lack thereof.

Josh cleared his throat, and Sammy felt his eyes
boring into her head. After a long, cheek-warming moment, Sammy lifted her
face. Josh watched her with deep, penetrating interest and Sammy barely
resisted squirming.

Sammy sighed loudly. “Why do you have to be so
bossy?” She threw her own scowl his way and watched as a small smile tugged at
his mouth.

“Because.
Now
tell me.”

Sammy tried to tug her legs away from Josh but he
held fast, again.

“Because I am not exactly someone you go all loved
up over, Josh.” She finally snapped, driven to by his insistence.

Josh’s expression darkened even further. He scowled,
and Sammy suddenly felt pinned, held fast by the way he leaned towards her.

“Now why would you say that, Sammy?” His words were
gentle, yet his tone suggested anger. Sammy frowned and forced
herself
to think past the flush that rippled all over her flesh.
Why did her body react like this whenever he tried to intimidate her?

Sammy cleared her throat and tucked a lock of hair
behind her ear, anything to try to appease her need to fidget under his
scrutiny.

“Well, I am a stuffy, boring teacher.
Hardly lust inspiring.”
Sammy barely resisted rubbing her
chest and the deep ache of longing that twisted her insides. For so long, her
whole life actually, Sammy had longed to be wanted.
Longed to
be someone’s whole world.
What it must feel like to know that at least
one person in the entire world holds you on a pedestal.

It must feel amazing. She had watched kids at school
when their parents arrived to pick them up, witnessed the clear adoration for
their children, and Sammy had ached to know that love.

And the more attention Josh bestowed on Sammy, the
more she got a glimpse of what it would be like. She wondered just how bereft
she would feel when her forty-eight hours with Josh was
up?

Because who was she kidding? Josh might find her
slightly interesting for now, but it didn’t mean that the moment his time was
up, he wouldn’t walk out the door without even a backwards glance.

Everyone else did.

Sammy was startled from her melancholy thoughts by
Josh’s hand as it made its slow way up her thigh. She flicked her gaze upwards
and felt an answering heat flood her stomach at the darkly intense look he gave
to her. His hand paused just above her knee and Sammy wished desperately that
she wasn’t wearing her thick jogging trousers. As it was, his hand felt utterly
mind-blowing on her leg. She could only imaging that without the barrier of her
trousers, she would feel his every callous against her smooth skin.

“You have a very low opinion of yourself, Sammy.”
Josh drawled as his hand continued its slow slide upwards.

Sammy felt her breaths go tight and her chest
fluttered with warm need. Unconsciously, her legs moved apart a little, her
body insisting he move his hand to her core, where her need burned hotly. Sammy
bit her bottom lip and watched his big, tanned hand as his fingers curled
tightly around her thigh.

“You like my hands on you.” The words were not a
question, not a request. They were a statement of fact, but Sammy nodded
anyway.

She glanced up and saw his dark gaze on her, watching
her with feral interest. Sammy remembered how her orgasm had crashed through
her body earlier, and her heart turned over violently. She swallowed hard and
moved her legs open a little more, this time not unconsciously. Something about
Josh gave Sammy wings, something about how he treated her made her feel like it
was possible to be
who
she wanted to be. Josh hummed
appreciatively and Sammy gasped when he gently placed her cast foot on the
cushions and rose above her.

His massive body loomed over her and Sammy couldn’t
recall ever feeling so small, so vulnerable and so sexy. He pinned her with his
dark eyes as his gaze roamed her face. He lifted his hand and stroked her
cheek, caressing the bruise with such a gentle touch that Sammy felt her lungs
implode.

“So soft,” he murmured, and when he dipped his head
and kissed at her bruise, Sammy’s eyes slid closed.

“So gentle.”
He
whispered against her skin. Sammy heard a small amount of censure in his words,
as if he were warning her, giving her one last out. But when Sammy reached up
and slid her fingers into his hairline, Josh dipped his body. His erection pressed
against her core and Sammy’s head spun.

“So big.”
She
whispered against his cheek.

Josh smiled, she knew, because his cheek bunched
under her kisses.

“So rough…” She sighed, placing a kiss on his
stubbled jaw, and Josh growled against her ear. Sammy laughed, amused by his
playing. Josh lifted his head and stared down at her, a deep frown of confusion
on his brow.

“You really want this?” he asked.

It was then that Sammy saw Josh held his own demons,
his own worries and insecurities. Her heart flip-flopped fully over for him.
She swallowed and nodded. Her hands worked along his back, stroking and petting
him through his t-shirt. Oh, she wanted him, more than anything, and right now.

“Yes. Please.” She said.

Josh smiled.
“Always so polite.”

He kissed her nose and slid backwards. Sammy reached
for him, disappointed when he moved away. But when he stood up and picked her
up off the sofa, Sammy settled in his arms, knowing where he was taking her.

When he reached her bedroom door, he stopped
walking. Sammy tipped her head back and found him looking down at her, his face
pulled into an expression that she couldn’t read. Sammy reached up and stroked
his cheek and he sighed. “This can never be more than tonight, Sammy.” His tone
dire, his expression hard, yet shuttered.

Sammy felt a pang of pain hit her in the chest, even
though she had already schooled herself in this knowledge. Josh was not a man
that she could tie down, but just for one night… She nodded and swallowed hard.
“I know.” She whispered. Her mind screamed
liar,
but Sammy forced
herself
to smile.

Josh frowned and cleared his throat. He pushed the
door open with his foot and the low glow of the lamplight filtered across his
face. Sammy watched as his stark cheekbones were highlighted and the darkness
of his gaze sparkled, dotted with flecks of coffee brown. He ground his teeth, gave
her a sharp nod, and then walked into the room.

Sammy shoved back the feeling of rejection and
concentrated on the fact that Josh was carrying her into her room. How could
she feel rejected when he held her this way? She didn’t understand, but her insides
hurt as if bruised by his insistence this could go no further. When she had agreed
to not wanting more, Sammy could swear she was about to vomit. It didn’t feel
right to say such a thing. She tightened her hands together on his neck and
looked at the bed.

Josh set her down with upmost care and stared at her
where she lay. He was beautiful in the low light.
All male
beauty, raw sexuality, and perfectly built, with black tattoos that looked
tribal against his naturally tanned skin.

Sammy gazed at his face, almost brought to tears by
the expression within his eyes. Need burned like a fire within a darkened
tunnel. He watched her silently, his gaze fixed to her face. Sammy noted that
she should feel uncomfortable, shy, or maybe even a little unsettled by the way
he just studied her. His chest rose and fell as if breathing was difficult for
him, and it was then that Sammy realized he was waiting for her to make the
first move.

Sammy pushed up onto her elbows and wondered where
she should start. Every other sexual encounter had been in the darkness, with
fumbling hands and awkward apologies. She’d never been in a situation so
brutally sexual before.

Slut.
Common whore.
Real women don’t have noisy messy sex. That is for the dirty and uneducated.

She swallowed hard and blocked her mind from
expanding on those thoughts, her father’s words, meant to stop her from living
a happy life. She knew that now, but it didn’t mean they hadn’t sunk right into
her soul. Courage threatened to leave her in a rush and Sammy sucked in a deep
breath. She looked down to her lap, wondering how she should start.

“Look at me.” Josh’s deep voice rumbled through her
and Sammy glanced up. He watched her still, even as he reached under his t-shirt
and peeled it up his chest, over his head and dashed it across the room. He stood
with his arms at his side. “Get out of that clever little head of yours,
because I believe it is trying to put you off having some fun.” Josh reached
out and took a lock of Sammy’s hair and let it drop through his fingers. He
bent over her and Sammy tipped her head back, their mouths mere inches apart.
“Do you want this?” He asked, his voice deep, and dripping with sex. “Do you
want me so fucking deep inside
you,
I make you scream
with pleasure?”

Sammy shuddered and nodded. “Yes.” She whispered,
her throat closed, blocked by need. His words should have sounded
silly—cocky—but Sammy heard the truth. This man could make her scream with
pleasure, and she wanted it. She wanted him. “Yes.”

“Good,” he said as he dipped his head and kissed her
cheek. Sammy tipped her head to the side and reveled in the feel of his lips on
her skin. When he touched her, all thoughts of backing out disappeared. When he
kissed her, all thought entirely fled her mind. Sammy reached up and gripped his
shoulder as his kisses moved to the base of her neck.

“I want it, Josh.”
I want you.
Sammy laid back and arched her back when Josh pressed
his hand on her stomach and slid his touch under her top. His fingers brushed
the soft curve of her breast and Sammy shuddered all over.