Authors: Andrea Smith
The next day, Becky and George were both at my house when Jack made his entrance. He was immediately taken aback by their presence. We had discussed how we were to handle it amongst ourselves the evening before. Jack tried to recover from his initial surprise by putting on a congenial façade.
“Hey George… . . . Becky, nice to see you both. How have you been?”
He walked towards me, preparing to give me a husbandly kiss, as if he’d missed me.
Yeah, right.
“Cut the crap,” I snapped.
His demeanor immediately changed to one of being stunned.
“George and Becky know everything. I’ve told them all about it. Now, why don’t you take a seat so that I can fill you in on some things you don’t know?”
He gave me a look of pure hatred. He clamped his lips together in a thin line and took a seat across from me. George and Becky didn’t take their eyes off of him. I loved watching him squirm emotionally…not having the upper hand at the moment.
“First of all, I’m pregnant. Oh, and in case you get confused, we’re happy about it. I’m having the baby and it makes no difference to me whether people know that it’s not yours. That includes my parents and Lindsey, got it?”
He shook his head up and down slowly.
“I’ve taken my own room downstairs, for which I’ve installed a lock. You’ll respect my privacy. You’ll also never, ever lay a hand on me again, is that understood?”
Again, he nodded.
“Good,” I said, continuing, “our marriage needs to be repaired Jack. I realize that this can’t happen overnight. For now, I want an internal separation of sorts. We can explain it to Lindsey by saying my pregnancy is a difficult one and I need my own space, that is, of course, dependent upon whether you also want this marriage to work at some point.”
God! I so wanted to gag as I spoke these words. I had to keep reaffirming in my mind that it was for the greater good…I had to protect myself and my children from whatever criminal activity Jack was involved in.
“Oh Samantha, you know that I’ll do anything to save our marriage. I’m so sorry for how I’ve behaved. I know I was despicable,” he lied. “Can you ever forgive me?”
“It will take some time,” I lied right back.
He was starting to resemble a whipped dog as he hung his head and nodded once again.
“And Sammie,” he continued, “as far as this baby goes, I want to raise him or her as my own. I’m partially to blame for all of this, but I’ll love the baby, I swear.”
Of course you will, you demonic droid.
“Jack, you don’t know how happy that makes me feel to hear you say that.”
“I really mean it, Sammie.”
You lying bastard.
“I believe you.”
I just vomited in my mouth…
Once I’d said everything as we’d rehearsed, Becky and George stood up to leave. George had something to say to Jack before he left.
“Jack, both Becky and I have witnessed everything that was said today. We both wish you luck going forward, but please know this: if we get any inkling that you’ve done anything to injure Samantha, we will involve the proper authorities. She’s our one and only concern right now, do you understand?”
I watched as Jack grew contrite right before my own eyes. Christ, what a chameleon he was. I must’ve really put his shit into the wind for once.
“George and Becky, I absolutely understand. I thank you both for being there for Sammie. I know damn well that I’ve failed her as a husband. Please understand that I can’t undo the past, but I’ll damn sure make certain that I don’t screw up our future. I would expect no less from either of you. I know that she comes first in your book.”
“Damn straight,” Becky said in her no-nonsense tone. “Remember that, Jack.”
“I will, I will,” he promised.
I truly wondered why Jack was making this so damn easy.
After George and Becky left, Jack got settled into our old suite. I retired down to my new room, which had a bathroom attached, though not nearly as large as the master suite. I continued to put my toiletries away that I’d packed up in boxes during the move. I came across the case that held my diaphragm, along with the nearly empty tube of spermicidal jelly that was with it.
I took it out of the case, examining it closely. It looked fine to me. I opened the tube and squeezed an average amount of the spermicidal jelly onto my fingertip, coating the inside of the diaphragm, as per the instructions. Once finished, I put the concave diaphragm up under the bathroom faucet and let the water drip into it until full. I then held it up in front of the mirror, checking for leaks.
Damn!
There it was: several different locations were dripping water droplets out of the diaphragm into the sink. I guess it hadn’t dawned on me that these contraptions needed to be replaced occasionally.
I showered, making sure that my deadbolt lock was in place, in case Jack had a change of heart about how things had gone earlier. I dressed in a clean nightgown, brushing my teeth and combing through my damp locks.
As I crawled under the clean sheets on my new bed, I couldn’t help thinking about Slate. He was going to be a daddy. He would probably never even know. I thought about what kind of father this OMC biker would make. A pretty damn good one was all that I came up with, which puzzled me because I had no reason to believe that, based on having no point of reference. It was my instinct, I decided. Slate would be a good and proud daddy; of that I was sure.
chapter 30
Lindsey got home from Cornell the last week of May. I was ecstatic to see her. Her hair had somehow gotten lighter.
“What did you do to your hair?” I questioned.
“I just had it highlighted. I’ve been spending a lot of time in the sun with spring soccer, so it has lightened up. Do you like it?”
“Lindsey, my darling, you know I think you’re gorgeous, right?”
“Mom, you’re so obligated to say that,” she laughed.
“Maybe so, but in your case, it’s the absolute truth. How are things with your boyfriend, honey? I’m sorry, I keep forgetting his name.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mom. You’re free and clear to continue not remembering his name because it’s over.”
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It would have never worked out anyway. I’ve been spoiled. I want to have the same kind of marriage that you and Daddy have.”
Oh hell to the no.
“Speaking of which,” I replied, segueing into the perfect opening to what I needed to tell her, “Your father and I have some great news for you.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” I said, excitedly. “I wanted to wait for him to get home from the office, but maybe this is better. Women are so much more enthusiastic about this sort of thing, I think. We’ve been blessed with an unexpected surprise. You’re going to have a baby brother or sister in December.”
“What?” she shrieked totally caught off-guard. “Are you serious?”
“Uh huh,” I responded happily. “I’m due on December 7th. It’s official.”
“Oh, Mom,” she cried. “I think that’s so wonderful. I have to tell you, I was worried about you and Daddy after I went off to school. I mean, it just seemed as if you two had really grown apart. I’m so happy to see that you two have had a fantastic resurgence in your relationship. That’s so healthy for middle-aged people.”
“Well, thank you, I guess.”
“You know what I meant,” she laughed.
“Lindsey,” I replied, “I’m just so happy that you’re happy about it.”
“Why wouldn’t I be, Mom?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s just because you’ve been an only child all of these years. I wasn’t sure how you would take it, I guess.”
“Well it isn’t as if we have to share a room or compete for attention, you know? I always hated being an only child. I wish you and Daddy would’ve done something about that sooner, but I’m happy about it, really.”
In that instant, I knew that she was. My Lindsey was so precious to me. Only child or not, she had a heart of gold and I loved her for it.
“Oh, Lindsey,” I said, “I love you so much. Thank you for being happy about this.”
“Mom, I love you, too. I only wish I wasn’t going to be away at college when my brother or sister arrives. I want to help you as much as I can.”
“You don’t worry about that now, sweetheart. Daddy will be here to help,” I lied.
I so hated lying to my beautiful daughter. She was mine; not Jack’s. There was no evil in my baby girl at all. I hoped that there never would be. I didn’t want his evil DNA to ever show its ugly head in Lindsey.
“What do you have planned for this summer?” I asked, wanting to skirt away from the issue of her father and me for the moment.
“Well, Daddy has an internship position for me at Banion,” she said. “I’m kind of looking forward to being able to work closely with him. I miss both of you so much.”
“That’s great, honey,” I lied. “It’ll be great experience for you.”
“I think so too. You know, since I’ve not decided on my major yet, Daddy thought it’d be beneficial to assign me to the R & D lab. I think he wants me to see how interesting testing of new medications and experimental drugs going through the FDA process will be. He says it’s a complicated and lengthy process.”
“That’s great, honey. I’m sure that you’ll learn a lot at Banion.”
I only hoped that Lindsey kept her soul, unlike Jack. He’d lost his soul a long time ago if, in fact, he’d ever had one.
Lindsey started her internship at Banion the following Monday. I drove over to hang out with Becky for the day.
It was a sunny and warm early June day, beautiful in Indianapolis. I passed several motorcycles on the way over to Becky’s. It brought Slate to my mind for the hundredth time since I’d discovered I was carrying his child.
It didn’t do any good to dwell on it. What was done was done. He would never know about this child because I wanted no part of him in my life or the baby’s.
I pulled into Becky’s driveway and immediately saw another car there. It looked like the one that Alan Krause had driven when we had met the first time.
Becky swung the front door open before I had the chance to press the doorbell. She appeared a bit anxious. A look of relief graced her features as I walked through the door.
“I’m glad you’re here. Alan needs to talk to you, Samantha.”
I went into the living room and recognized Alan right away, there was another man seated next to him. They both stood up immediately upon seeing me.
“Alan,” I greeted, reaching out to shake his hand.
“Samantha, I would like you to meet special agent Craig Donovan. He’s with the Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.”
The Feds? What in God’s name has Jack gotten us involved in?
I shook Mr. Donovan’s hand. A feeling of numbness had crept over me.
“Please, take a seat, Mrs. Dennison. There are matters of grave importance and concern we need to discuss.”
chapter 31
~ SLATE ~
Someone was banging on my front door. Fuck! It seemed like my head had just hit the pillow. I opened one eye, squinting into the sunlight that was now streaming through my bedroom window. The bedside clock read 9:37 a.m. Shit! It was later than I thought.
I threw the sheet back and got out of bed, pulling a pair of boxers on. I opened the door, knowing full well that it was Taz. He was going to chew my ass for not being up and ready by now.
“What the fuck, dude. You still crashing?”
What’d I say? Taz is predictable, if nothing else.
“No, man. I’m wearing my boxers on today’s run.”
“Smart-ass. Out late again, I presume?”
“Maybe,” I replied, rinsing my face in the bathroom sink. “Last time I looked, I didn’t have a curfew, or a wife.”
“Yeah, well maybe you fucking should, Slate. I mean you’re going to lose your edge if you don’t fucking clear your mind of that chick. You being out all hours going from one dive to another to see if she’s dancing…What the fuck?”
“It’s my business what I do, okay?” I threw him a dirty look.
“Yeah, well I’m pretty sure that Slash is going to make it his business pretty damn soon. He ain’t happy with you bagging out like that on a couple of the rides recently.”