Gabe (Steele Brothers #6) (9 page)

Kendra

I texted Gabe the following day to find out if Jason was working. I could have texted Jason, but I wanted the element of surprise working in my favor when I showed up on his doorstep to demand some answers.

Rounding the corner, the sweet little two-story we’d bought and fixed up together the first year of our marriage came in to view. I expected to feel some twinge of regret or remorse, looking up at the home I’d loved, but it never came. Sitting in the driveway, I considered the house I was living in now to the home I’d shared with Jason.

My parent’s rental was utilitarian with the basic creature comforts, but they hadn’t spent a lot of money on cosmetic upgrades. So I’d used a lot of elbow grease to make it feel like home. Thanks to the skills I’d learned working on this house with Jason, I knew how to tile a backsplash, paint, sew curtains, refinish cabinets and furniture, and create a kick-ass garden.

Now that I knew I wanted to stay in the house, I thought about having a conversation with my parents. Maybe they’d go for a rent-to-own deal, allowing me to purchase the house instead of paying rent. Food for thought. But right now I had to take the next step in my take-back-my-life plan.

I rang the doorbell, turning to look at the freshly mowed lawn. The gardens needed to be weeded, the shrubs pruned. But that had always been my department, while Jason cut the grass. The fact that he hadn’t taken over my chores was further evidence that he expected me to come back to him.

“Hey,” he said, smiling when he opened the door. “This is a nice surprise. What’re you doing here?”

I half-expected to find him
entertaining
, which wouldn’t have bothered me in the least. In fact, it would have given me the ammunition I needed to convince him this marriage was truly over.

“Can we talk?” My blood was still boiling after my conversation with Char last night, but I was determined to be civil. “I don’t have a lot of time.” Gesturing to my teal scrubs, I said, “I’m on my lunch break.”

“Sure, come on in,” he said, stepping back. “Uh, sorry the place is a bit of a mess. I wasn’t expecting company.”

There were dirty dishes stacked on the end tables, an open cereal box on the coffee table, and dirty socks on the floor. The TV was blaring: sports highlights. But I didn’t come to critique his housekeeping skills. I came to set him straight.

“Our daughter seems to think we have a chance of getting back together.” I set my purse down in the foyer, slowly turning to face him. “Why does she think that, Jason?”

He ran a hand over his disheveled, sandy blond hair before scratching his flat stomach. He was wearing a black Nike T-shirt and black-and-white tyro pants that were streaked with powdered sugar from the pack of mini doughnuts sitting on the table.

“Uh, I don’t know.”

I walked farther into the room, noting all of the little touches I’d added to make it feel homier. The framed photos on the mantle, handmade cushions and drapes to soften the kid-friendly leather furniture, and the shaggy area rug that kept little feet warm.

“I think you do.”

I crossed my arms, regarding him carefully. He was a handsome man who routinely used that cheeky grin to get him out of trouble. I couldn’t deny it had worked a time or two with me. But not this time. This time I had his number. I was tired of his games and one way or another, I was divorcing him.

“I think you’re trying to use our daughter to manipulate me.”

He sighed, throwing his arms up in the air. “Fine, I admit it. I want my family back. Is that so terrible?”

“Not if I believed that was your only motive.” I’d been so concerned with maintaining a cordial relationship with him for Char’s sake, I’d never really let him have it. But it was time. “But I don’t think it is.”

Raising a brow, he mirrored my pose. “Fine, why do you think I want you back?”

“Look around,” I said, opening my arms. “The house never looked like this when I lived here. I cleaned up after you, cooked your meals, and did your laundry.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm my raging temper. “You never had to do anything for yourself and you liked it that way. You liked having someone to take care of you.”

He shook his head slowly, obviously considering his denial carefully. “That’s not fair, babe. I never asked you to do those things for me. You did them because you wanted to, because you loved me.”

“In the beginning that may have been true,” I conceded, thinking of the dumb, love-struck, girl who would have done just about anything to please her man. “But I grew up over the course of our marriage, Jason. I changed.”

“No kidding,” he muttered.

“I got tired of being taken for granted, being taken advantage of. I didn’t want to be married to a little boy anymore. I wanted to be married to a man who could take care of himself.” In recent months, I’d spent a lot of time thinking about the factors that contributed to the break-down of our marriage and I knew this one topped the list. “I started to resent you. And maybe that wasn’t fair to either one of us. You couldn’t be who I needed you to be, and I guess it wasn’t fair of me to expect you to be someone else just to please me.”

“I can change,” he said, looking stunned by my admission. “If that’s what it takes to get you and Char back, I can change.” He moved around the room, stacking dirty dishes. “Look, I’ll start right now by cleaning up after myself. I can do a lot of things I couldn’t or wouldn’t do before. Like laundry, grocery shopping—”

“Jason,” I said, touching his arm, “put the dishes down. This isn’t about dividing the chores equitably. We both know we’re way past that.”

“Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it,” he said, looking desperate.

“Why did you cheat on me?” I’d asked him before, immediately after I’d found out about his mistress, but I’d been too shocked and hurt to believe anything that came out of his mouth then.

He set the dishes back down on the table, curling his arms over his broad chest again. “I don’t know, babe. It just kind of happened, like I said. It was the stupidest mistake I’ve ever made—”

“But not the only one.” I tipped my head back, looking him in the eye, daring him to lie to me again. “Admit it, she wasn’t the first woman you slept with while you were married to me, was she?”

He paled, sinking down on the sofa before dropping his head into his hands. “I know I messed up, but I’ll do anything to fix it, Kendra. If you want me to go to counselling, I will. Just say the word.”

I didn’t need to hear him say the words, or assign a number to the women he’d been with. The guilt written all over his handsome face told its own story. “I don’t feel the need to fix you anymore, Jason.” I sat down on the chair next to the sofa. “I don’t want to change you or help you or try to understand you. I just want to let you go so you can live your life as you see fit and I want you to respect me enough to do the same for me.”

He shook his head, looking stubborn and determined. “No way. When we married, you said it was for better or worse. You swore you’d never leave me.”

I tried to imagine him as a scared little boy, feeling abandoned by his parents, who cared more about their own happiness than his. “And you swore you’d never dishonor me. I guess we all say things we don’t mean sometimes.” I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I just wanted to remind him that he was the one who’d broken our vows first. He was the one who set this whole thing in motion.

“Would you have left me if I hadn’t cheated on you?” he asked, looking into my eyes. “Was that really the reason you left or was it because you didn’t love me anymore?”

“I honestly don’t know,” I said, trying to make sense of my feelings. “But if you’d loved me, you never would have cheated in the first place, so it’s a moot point, isn’t it? The bottom line is somewhere along the way we fell out of love. We have to acknowledge that now so we can both be free to move on with our lives.”

His dark eyes flashed with anger. “Is that what this is really about? You want to divorce me because you’ve found someone else?”

I didn’t want to make things awkward between Gabe and Jason at work, and there really was nothing to tell. We’d shared a few kisses and a couple of intimate conversations about the possibility of a future together. That was the only thing that took us out of friend territory.

“I want a divorce because it’s the best thing for all of us, including our daughter.”

“Char told me you guys have been spending a lot of time with my boss. What the hell’s that about?”

I knew I didn’t owe him an explanation. It was none of his business who I spent time with, but I also knew if I didn’t answer his questions he would demand answers from Gabe and I didn’t want that.

“Gabe and I are friends,” I acknowledged, choosing my words carefully. “He’s been there for me and Char, helping us with—”

“And you don’t think he has an ulterior motive?” he demanded, raising his voice. “He wants you! He wants my life, my family. Well, he’s not going to get it. So if you think I’m going to sign those goddamn papers so you can be with him, you’re as delusional as he is.”

I sighed, trying to remind myself he was saying these things because he was scared and hurt. He didn’t know how to be alone and wanted to hold on to the only family he’d ever known.

“You don’t have to consent to the divorce, though it would be easier if you did. We both know contested divorces can get tied up in court for years, costing both parties a fortune in legal fees.” That was the only reason I hadn’t pursed that option earlier, because I’d been holding out hope I could make Jason see reason. “Do you really want to do that? Think about Char. She doesn’t deserve to get caught up in a messy divorce.”

“She doesn’t deserve to come from a broken home either,” he said, his voice low and intense, as though he were grappling his emotions too. “She deserves two parents who love her enough to try to work things out.”

“Don’t you dare call into question how much I love my daughter! I would do anything for that little girl and you know it.” Knowing this was sliding into dangerous territory and he was clearly determined to be unreasonable, I stood, preparing to leave. “I came here hoping we could resolve things without lawyers, but that obviously isn’t an option. You can expect to hear from mine—”

He jumped up, grabbing my arm as panic flashed in his eyes. “Don’t do this. Please. I’ll do anything. Just give it a little more time.”

I knew more time wouldn’t solve our problems. It would just allow him to go on hoping for a reconciliation that would never happen, encouraging our innocent little girl to go on hoping too. I couldn’t do that to her.

“It’s over, Jason. You need to find a way to deal with that.”

***

Gabe

I was sitting at my desk, dealing with my least favorite part of the job, paperwork, when Jason stormed into my office without knocking.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked, eyeing him warily. “It’s your day off.”

“When were you going to tell me you’re banging my wife?” he asked, leaning over my desk, with his weight resting on his closed fists.

“You got it all wrong, man. Kendra and I are just friends.” My conscience called me a liar when I thought about the kisses we’d shared. I’d never kissed a friend like that.

“You’re lying.” His jaw was tense, his knuckles white, and I prepared for him to strike. “How could you do this? I thought we were friends.”

“How could
I
do this?” I said quietly. “You did this. You were the one who cheated on her, who treated her like shit. If you want to blame someone, start with the man in the mirror.”

“You don’t know how hard it was,” he said, pushing off the desk as he started pacing the room. “Trying to be perfect all the goddamn time. Nothing was ever good enough for her. No matter what I did, she wanted more.” He sneered. “Even in the sack.”

I wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face, to warn him not to talk about Kendra that way, but I knew the situation would only escalate if I did. Had we been anywhere else, I wouldn’t have hesitated, but this was our place of business and I was still the boss. So I had to be the bigger man.

“And you obviously can’t give it to her.” I wanted to add that he’d never been man enough for her, but I knew that would start a riot, so I merely added, “So just let her go.”

“So you can have her? Like hell I will.”

It didn’t sit well that we were talking about Kendra like she was some trophy to be won. I knew she had a mind of her own and free will. She could choose which one of us she wanted to be with, and according to her, there was no contest.

I knew it was time to come clean, to diffuse the situation and try to reason with him. “You think I wanted this to happen?” I asked, sighing. “Believe me, developing feelings for your wife was the last thing I wanted.”

“Then you admit you’re into her?” he asked, his voice an octave higher than usual.

“We haven’t crossed
that
line,” I said, knowing we had crossed other lines, and feeling guilty about it. “But I’m not going to pretend I don’t care about her. I do.”

“She’s my wife. The mother of my child. How could you do this and call yourself my friend?”

I’d never counted Jason among my closest friends, but he was right, it was an unspoken rule men didn’t… or shouldn’t break. “What do you want me to tell you? The more time we spent together, as friends and neighbors, the more I liked her.”

“I knew when I found out she was moving in next door to you that this would happen. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve wanted what I have.”

I searched for the truth in that statement and it didn’t take me long to find it. Sub-consciously I think I had been envious of Jason’s beautiful wife and daughter. I’d even told him he was a lucky bastard a time or two, after a few beers, when I knew I had to go home to an empty house.

He’d complained when his wife blew up his phone, demanding to know when he’d be home because they had a sick little girl crying for her daddy. And he’d told me the pressures of family life were getting to him, that he didn’t know if he was cut out for it.