Gabriel's Bride (20 page)

Then there were today’s biscuits and bacon, she thought as she crumbled the overcooked pork into the gravy. She was fairly certain the boys had something to do with that. Not Matthew and Samuel, though.

She cast a loving look at the youngest Fisher who sat at the table tracing his letters while he waited for her to finish cooking. She felt in her heart of hearts that Matthew and Samuel were among the innocent in the pranks that she faced daily. But the other
buwe
. . .

As if on cue they all marched into the house, hung their hats on their pegs, and went to stand behind their chairs as their father followed them in.

Gabriel looked at her and caught her eye. Her heart skipped a stuttering beat. He wore his everyday frown, but she could see past it now, at least a little ways. For sure he frowned a lot, but Rachel had come to think of it as his thoughtful look. For he often had that same expression when mulling over a problem in need of a solution.

He gave her a quick nod and pulled out his chair to seat himself. The other family members followed suit and they all bowed their heads to pray.

Lord, please give me patience. I have come into this household for the good of everyone involved, but the boys have trouble seeing my role as such. Please, Lord, if it be Your will, allow them to see me for what I want to be to them, a friend as well as a mother, another person in their life to care about them, help them and be there for them in their time of need.

“
Aemen
,” Gabriel said.

Aemen
, she silently repeated.

She gave a tremulous smile as her husband reached for the pan of biscuits. He didn’t say a word at the too-brown bottoms, just covered them with gravy and a spoonful of molasses.

It was only then that Rachel realized her prayers had only been about the family, and she hadn’t thanked God once for the food they were about to eat.

This Sunday marked the third church Sunday since Gabriel had been chosen as the new deacon.

As everyone milled around the yard and visited before the service, Rachel sat with Annie, Katie, and Ruth as they waited for the call to go into the Lapps’s house. Her newfound kin talked about babies and weddings, but Rachel only had eyes for her husband.

He stood with Bishop Rueben Beachy and Daniel Glick, one of the ministers. John Zook was nowhere to be seen, and Rachel hoped that everything was okay. It was practically unheard of for a minister—or any of the elders of the district—to not be at a service. That, added to the fact that the Zooks were expecting their thirteenth child, had Rachel wondering if John Zook was at his house wringing his hands and pacing while the midwife attended his
fraa
. But she hadn’t heard anybody say.

Well, she hadn’t really been listening. She’d been too caught up thinking about Gabriel and the goats and their trip to the auction in Oklahoma City. It would be a late trip, having to travel all the way to the state capital, but the next auction to be held in Tulsa was too far in the future to do them much good. Still, Rachel was excited about the prospect. It would be
gut
to get away for a little while. The boys and their antics were starting to chafe on her patience.

“Rachel?”

She jerked back to the present as Annie Hamilton Fisher laid a hand on her arm. Confusion mixed with care and concern tinted her violet eyes. “The elders have gone in. Are you coming?”

The men in the congregation had already filed in as well. Rachel stood and brushed the grass from the skirt of her dress. “
Jah
, of course.” She shot Annie a smile to show her everything was all right and followed the other Fisher women into the house.

After everyone was settled in, with the women on one side of the room and the men on the other, the singing began. For Rachel, this was her least favorite part of the ceremony. The thought immediately made her repentant. It wasn’t that she disliked the singing, but the familiar words and smooth drone of the tune allowed her mind to roam.

What would they have for the afternoon meal? How she had forgotten to darn that pair of socks for Gabriel. She had also forgotten to stitch up the hole Joseph had put in the rear of his school pants.

She pulled her thoughts back in. Proof enough she needed to pay more attention to the verses of the solemn hymn. She needed the words of grace and worship. Why, she was fortunate enough to live in a country where she could worship freely, unlike her ancestors who fled religious persecution so many centuries ago.

The first hymn ended. As one, the congregation started to sing
Lob Lied
, the Praise Song, which was always the second hymn sung in the Amish service.

“Oh, Father God, we praise Thee . . .”

Katie’s fingers crept into hers and squeezed Rachel’s hand tight. Without looking at her, Rachel returned the gesture, thankful to have her sister-in-law at her side. Ruth and Annie were in the back, side by side on padded chairs provided for the elderly and infirm.

Rachel made a new effort to pay better attention, but as they sang the familiar words, thanking God and praying for the ministers to be able to preach the word of God’s teachings, her mind continued to drift away.

By the time the song ended, the first sermon began, and word had already spread that the Zooks were indeed at home awaiting their newest addition. Rachel could hardly wait until the service came when she would be able to see the baby. Maybe even hold it close.

Perhaps she should pay the Zooks a visit this week. For sure, she should get with Katie and Ruth. The three of them could make sure Jean Zook had everything she needed, that her floors were swept, and the laundry caught up.

Rachel took hold of her thoughts and dragged them back to the service. Daniel Glick had been chosen to preach. He was a
gut
man, but he was not the most gifted at speaking. His voice tended to hum like the noise of the airplanes that flew over from time to time, and Rachel found herself struggling more and more to pay attention. Instead her focus fell to her husband seated in front of the congregation.

She had to admit that she was secretly proud of Gabriel. Not proud in a sinful way, but in a more gentle way that spoke of the admiration she had for him. He had changed her life. Even with the trials that she had faced at the hands of his
sohns
, she was still very grateful. At least in Clover Ridge as Gabriel’s wife she had a more secure standing in her community. The house she shared with him was for them both. They were partners, not just housekeeper and employer.

So he didn’t love her. It wasn’t like love was necessary for a true and successful marriage. They were making along just fine.

The first sermon ended, and they stood, turning to face their benches, and kneeling for a silent prayer. Rachel prayed for the Zooks, for Annie and Gideon, for the boys to eventually come to accept her into their home, and for Ruth. Her mother-in-law had made no mention of going into Tulsa for further testing, but Rachel prayed that the Lord would move her to do just that. How could they know what to pray for if they didn’t know what they were up against?

“
Aemen
.” The stern word, spoken by one of the elders, brought them back to standing, though the women continued to face the back while the men turned to face the deacon for the scripture reading. Her husband.

Gabriel’s deep, affecting voice washed across her ears and brought goose bumps to the exposed flesh of her arms. “
Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh, but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, since we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.”

Rachel heard the words, spoken clear and true in ringing high German, as were all Amish church readings. But these words pierced her heart like a knife.

Wives, love your husbands.

Husbands, love your wives.

A decree by God.

But she didn’t worry about her disobedience, because in that instance she realized that she did love her husband. Or she was starting to. She had learned to see past the wrinkled frown to the thoughtfulness of the man. She had found his so-big hands to be capable, as well as gentle, and his heart to be as large as the sky.

He was a
gut
man. What about him was not to love? He feared God, adored his children, and would die for his family.

She wouldn’t tell him. She would not lay that at his feet—that she had fallen in love with him. He would never love her in return. No sense travelling down a road that led to nowhere but heartache. He still loved his Rebecca and always would. She wouldn’t make him feel worse about the situation by telling him that she held such feelings for him.

But the emotions within her were warm, radiating from her heart until they made the tips of her fingers tingle.

The bishop recited the benediction from heart, “Finally, dear brethren, rejoice, be perfect, be comforted, and be of one mind; be peaceful, and the God of love and peace shall be with you. Greet each other with the holy kiss. You are greeted by all the saints.

“So I submit myself, with you, to God and His gracious hand, that He be pleased to keep us in the saving faith, to strengthen us in it, to guide and lead us until a blessed end; and all this through Jesus Christ. Amen.”

At the sound of the Savior’s name, Rachel dipped her knees slightly, a sign of deference and obedience to Christ, as all those did around her. For her, it was strictly from habit, for her thoughts were still filled with her tender discovery concerning her husband. How, oh how had she fallen in love with him and whatever was she to do about it?

11

G
abriel continued to fill her thoughts as she and the other women turned the benches into tables on which to serve the afternoon meal. Her motions were automatic, sure and true, but without thought as her mind was so occupied elsewhere.

Once the men had all been served, the women filled plates for themselves and the smaller children, and they too settled down—men on one side of the yard, women on the other—to fellowship and sup.

Rachel found a spot for herself and Samuel next to Katie Rose. Gabriel’s sister was looking as beautiful as ever as the date for her wedding drew near. Several times Rachel saw Katie’s green eyes dart to the opposite side of the yard. She knew by the softening look of love in them that Katie was staring at Zane Carson, the fancy
Englisch
reporter who had come to do a story on the Amish but fell in love instead.

Rachel fixed her gaze on the gnarled tree root running alongside her feet and took a bite of her meal. She would not look at the men, she would not look at her husband, for if she did she would gaze all moony-eyed at him and give away her secret for all to see. The thought brought heat to her cheeks.

“Rachel, are you
allrecht
?” Ruth asked. “You’re so very flushed.”

“I’m fine.” She choked on the lie, the bite of cracker she tried to swallow sticking in her throat. She grabbed a drink to wash them both down. How
ever
would she keep her feelings a secret from her husband if she couldn’t keep them from Ruth?

Rachel looked up to see three pairs of concerned eyes studying her. Change that: If she couldn’t keep her feelings a secret from Ruth, Annie, and Katie Rose.