Gabriel's Bride (16 page)

He’s your husband,
a little voice inside her head reminded. Tonight was the first of many more to come where they would find themselves in situations that seemed . . . intimate.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, moving a little so that she wouldn’t accidentally brush against him again.

He gave a nod of his head, but otherwise said nothing. Between the brim of his hat and the setting sun, she wasn’t able to read his expression. Just as well. She didn’t need to see his face to know that she confused him. She had seen that look often enough.

Instead she focused her attention on the road and smoothed down Samuel’s hair. But she could feel Gabriel’s eyes watching her as they continued along.

After what seemed like hours, he turned his gaze back to the road and steered them down the drive that led to his two-story house.

“Dat?”
Samuel’s sleepy voice filled the space between them. “Did you know that Wachel is afraid of gwasshoppus?”

Gabriel chuckled and Rachel had to remind herself that she shouldn’t like the sound so much. “Is that a fact?”

She sniffed. “We are all afraid of one thing or another.”

“She was milking Sadie today and a gwasshoppu jumped on her. She screamed and screamed. And I laughed and laughed.”

“Now, Samuel, it is not nice to laugh at another’s pain.”

“Sowy,
Dat
.”

“It’s not me you should apologize to.”

Samuel tilted his head back to gaze up at her. “Sowy, Wachel.”

“’Tis nothing,
liebschdi
.” She smoothed down his hair.

Over the top of his head, Gabriel was still smiling. “Grasshoppers?” he asked.

“It’s just that they . . . jump,” she explained with a shudder.

“I see.” He turned toward her again, catching her gaze and seemingly searching her soul.

Rachel breathed a sigh of relief when they pulled to a stop. Until that moment she hadn’t realized that she had been holding her breath. She sucked in a gulp of air and hopped to the ground as Gabriel hooked his big hands under Samuel’s arms and plucked him from the wagon.

“Oh, my.” The world tipped on its axis, and the night sky swam before her eyes. Rachel grabbed the side of the buggy, missing it and shoving her arm through the open window instead. Thankfully that allowed her to catch herself before she went sprawling across the yard or crumpling into a heap on the ground.

“Are you all right?” Big hands wrapped around her arms just above her elbows and pulled her up. Strong, warm hands that felt as if they could support the whole world with room to spare.

“I’m . . . I’m fine.”

“Matthew, you and Joseph take the horses in. Simon, take your brothers inside and get them ready for bed.”

“I’m all right. Really.” She tried to pull away, but her oxygen-deprived limbs wouldn’t cooperate.

“
Jah
. That I can see,” he said, then barked over his shoulder. “Now.”

The boys did as he commanded, and she was left alone with her husband. The thought shouldn’t have been uncomfortable, but it was. She had never found herself in that sort of situation and didn’t know how to act. She’d get used to it.

He reached up one of those big capable hands and brushed the backs of his fingers over her cheek and the thin scar there.

Maybe in a year or two.

The thought was dizzying, being married to this man for years and years. Yet that was what she had agreed to.
Lord, please help me. I know not what I have done.

Rachel opened her eyes to find him studying her. She took another deep breath, but this time she felt steady on her feet, even if her stomach felt a bit queasy. “You must think I’m a silly goose.”

“Nay.”
His eyes still fixed on her.

“I guess I’m just tired.”

He nodded. “It’s a big adjustment taking care of a family when you had none before.”

It was her turn to nod. She needed to get out of there, get into the house, away from him and his magnetic stare, but his body blocked her flight path.

The
buwe
were gone into the barn and into the house, leaving her all alone with this man she had pledged her life to. He seemed so close, close enough she could feel his heat, smell the scent that was him, plus the faint aroma of horse and hay mixed with detergent.

The wind whispered softly between them, stirring the escaped strands of her hair. Before she could reach up and brush them back, his fingers were there, tucking them behind her ear and sending tingles cascading where his skin touched hers.

She swallowed hard.

He took a step closer.

Somehow she knew that he was going to kiss her.

Her heart beat hard in her chest at the thought. She didn’t know how she knew. It wasn’t like she had ever been kissed before. Back in Florida, she had heard the older girls talking when they thought no one was listening, but that’s all the information about such things that Rachel had. For once her family had died in the accident, she had come here to Clover Ridge, and her life was forever changed.

As if sensing her thoughts, he traced the scar under her right eye. She could feel the question rumbling in his throat unasked.

She parted her lips to answer, nothing more.

From somewhere in the night a bird called.

Then Matthew. “Everything
allrecht
?”

Rachel jumped back guiltily like a school girl caught by the bishop. “Fine, fine,” she said, smoothing her sticky palms down the front of her apron.

Matthew looked from one of them to the other, then gave a quick nod. “
Gut nacht
then.” He sauntered toward the house, leaving them alone once more.

She managed to look up and meet his eyes, but none of the earlier intensity remained. If it had been there at all. “I should go check on Samuel,” she said. Had she imagined his desire to kiss her? Made it all up in some girlish fantasy?

Perhaps. The thought saddened her.

Gabriel gave a nod nearly identical to his son’s gesture and swung an arm toward the house. “After you,” he said with a small bow.

Rachel managed to get her trembling legs to steady enough to carry her to the house.

She needed to be more careful. Make sure that she didn’t find herself alone with Gabriel like that anymore, husband or no. One thing was certain where Gabriel Fisher was concerned: she couldn’t be trusted.

What had he been thinking? Certainly not about the agreement that he’d made with Rachel Yoder concerning their marriage.

Rachel Fisher,
he silently corrected.

He’d been caught up in the beauty of the night, the nostalgia of going out for pizza and sitting around the table like they all had before. The pure enjoyment on her face as she had tasted the delicious Italian pie for the first time.

He needed to remember the weevils floating on top of the pot of peas, the dirt that seemed to appear from nowhere and built up in the corners of the house despite her declarations of cleaning, and the fact that every meal he had eaten since he’d laid eyes on her had been burned in one manner or another.

Just as he needed to forget the sparkle in her brown eyes.

With an aggravated growl, Gabriel flopped to his other side and punched at his pillow, as if it were to blame for his nearly kissing his wife.

There was no one to blame but himself. He’d just have to be more careful from now on. True, living with a woman was an intimate thing, even if she slept upstairs in the room that had been Mary Elizabeth’s. It was an intimacy that he’d have to deal with. Certainly not by kissing his wife, no matter how sweet she looked in the moonlight. The sun would eventually rise. He’d best keep that in mind.

“Simon? You asleep?”

Simon opened his eyes and turned to face his brother, Joseph. Their beds sat side by side against one wall, a small propane lamp between them.

“Shhh,” he said, covering his lips with one finger. “You’ll wake David.”

They both turned to look at the opposite wall where their younger brother lay, his gently breathing body no more than a lump under the covers.

“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

“’Course I am,” he said the words even as the doubts plagued him. They had to do
something
. They couldn’t just stand by and let their father do this.

“She seems kinda nice, is all.”

Nice was one thing, but moving in and acting like their mother was another one entirely.
And
she wasn’t even a good mother. She was always burning the food and forgetting things. Why just yesterday she packed him an apple for his lunch. He hated apples and had to trade with Billy Weaver to get a pear. “She’s not our mom.” Yet they’d have to help her scrub the floors come Saturday. The best day to go down to the creek and play in the cool water and they’d all be in the house . . . working.

“I know,” Joseph mumbled into the dark. “But—”

“No buts.” Simon raised up on his elbow and peered through the darkness toward his brother. “It’s different for you. You don’t remember her like I do.”

“I wish I did.” Joseph’s voice turned misty.

“She was the best mom ever.” No one remembered her like he and Matthew. Joseph had been nearly five when she passed, but Simon had been almost eight and Matthew going on ten. Only Mary Elizabeth remembered their mother better. But she was gone now and unable to tell them stories to refresh their dimming memories of the mother who brought them into the world.

“But Rachel—”

“But nothing.” Simon lay back in his bed though he really wanted to jump up and . . . well, do
something
. “She doesn’t belong here.” If their
dat
couldn’t see that on his own, then it was up to them to show him.

He thought about Matthew. His older brother said they should give their stepmother a chance, but Simon didn’t agree. First
Aenti
Katie had moved back in with
Grossmammi
and
Grossdaadi
, then Mary Elizabeth had moved out, now this. It was all too much. With a woman in the house, Mary Elizabeth would never return and if that happened, nothing would ever be the same again.

“Well,” Joseph said finally. “If you’re sure.”

“I am,” Simon replied even as his stomach dropped. “Now go to sleep.”

9

I
t was a brand new day. A day to start over, begin again and focus on her duties. Two days had passed since the family had gone out for pizza, and one thing was certain: The more she kept things simple the more she would be able to keep things on a proper footing with Gabriel, and then she could begin the slow process of forgetting the look in his eyes when he’d almost . . .

“Wachel?”

She felt the familiar tug of Samuel’s tiny fist in her skirt.
“Jah?”

“Can I go down to the creek with the
bruders
?”

Her heart melted at the sight of his sweet upturned face, but she couldn’t expect his brothers to watch out for him properly. She would be beside herself if anything happened to him while in her care. “
Nay, liebschdi.
I need you to stay here with me and help with the chores.”

His bow of a mouth turned down at the corners as if he were trying to figure out which activity would be more enjoyable. “Chores?” he asked.