Gabriel's Light (Doms of Chicago) (14 page)

Chapter
Fourteen

Taking a deep breath, Gabriel pushed open the door to Olivia’s.
It’d been nearly a month since he’d walked out of
Caelan’s
playroom and away from the one woman who dared him to live again: a month of
zero contact with Zhenya, a month of dreaming about a luscious little brunette
who demanded to be more than just a replacement for his sweet Sara. As he moved
through the foyer, every nerve was taut. He took in the once familiar
surroundings. Standing at the security checkpoint, Carlos looked up from his
magazine lying across the scarred surface of the counter.

“Master Gabriel.” A smile split the other man’s face as he rose.
“It’s so good to see you.”

Shaking the guard’s hand, he drew him into a brief hug. Carlos
had been manning the door at Olivia’s for years, almost since he’d stumbled
inside the club one night beaten to within an inch of his life. Later Gabriel
had learned it was because Carlos’s lover had told her older brothers about his
so-called perversions, and they hadn’t taken Carlos’s need to submit well.
Personally Gabriel had figured it had more to do with the Latin machismo than
anything else. But ever since he’d healed, Carlos had repaid the favor by
providing some front-line security for the woman who’d saved him that night.
One lady Gabriel also was proud to call a friend.

“You too.” He released the man with a smile. “You’re looking
good, Carlos. How have things been going? Your Mistress treating you well?” He
slipped his wallet free of his back pocket and deposited his keys and watch
into the small tray on the counter, before stepping through the metal detector.

If Carlos’s grin couldn’t have grown any wider it would’ve. “Oh yes.”
He pulled aside the collar of his turtleneck to show Gabriel the heavy leather
collar with a small silver tag. Leaning in, Gabriel read the inscription on it.
In curved letters, it read Property of Mistress K. He looked back up and
clapped his hand over his friend’s shoulder.

“She collared you. Congratulations.” If any man deserved a bit
of happiness, it was the one before him.

Carlos actually flushed. “Thank you, Master Gabriel.”

Just before he went to enter the club, Carlos stopped him. “You
were right, you know? I just had to give myself permission to trust again.”

“Sometimes faith in ourselves is all we need, Carlos.” Gabriel
slipped inside the club, before Carlos could launch into a concerned friend
speech. At this moment, he wasn’t ready to have another friend tell him Sara
was gone and he wasn’t.

Fingering the tiny silver key on his key ring, he moved toward
the changing rooms and his private locker. The same one he hadn’t opened since
Sara’s death. If he was going to move on, he knew he had to face the past, and
he figured starting with his locker was the best place. Even if his heart
wasn’t up to another whirl yet, his libido, which had been neglected since
Sara’s death, was screaming at him. He needed to get laid. Walking down the
well-lit hall, he nodded a greeting to several other Masters, old friends who
looked surprised yet supportive of him being here.

Taking a deep breath as he came to the mahogany door separating
the changing area from the rest of the club, he pushed through it. His tension
mounted as he walked down the aisles, until he finally came to a stop in front
of his locker. He was just getting ready to unlock it when he heard Olivia’s
voice behind him.

“It’s about time you came home.” Her accent, normally a soft
lilt, was thick with affection, a true testament to how his presence was
affecting her. Toying with the lock, he finally dropped it, the clank as metal
hit metal echoed through the room.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be home again.” He finally turned
around to face her. “I just don’t know. This feels like home, but why should I
feel as if I am betraying her by being here?”

Olivia’s expression softened. “Do you honestly feel guilty that
you’re alive and she isn’t? She wouldn’t want you to deny your very being.”

Raking his hand through his hair, he shook his head. “I swore to
her she was it… there’d be no other. But now….”

“You find yourself wanting more? To feel again? To experience
another’s submission?”

He nodded. “I know she wouldn’t want me to be alone for the rest
of my life, and it’s been over a year, but something has happened. I go to bed
restless, I wake up feeling as if there’s something missing.”

Olivia placed a hand on his arm. “Perhaps it’s your body telling
you you’re ready to come back to the land of the living. Have you been writing
in your journals like we suggested last month?”

He nodded. He hadn’t wanted to, but finally tired of the erotic
dreams plaguing him about Zhenya, and the guilt he’d felt when he’d woken up
more than once covered in his own seed, and realized it was Zhenya, and not his
beloved Sara, he’d been dreaming about, he’d given in. He’d sat down and wrote
in one of the many leather bound journals Sara had given him - not that she was
here to read them and write sympathetic notes or even slightly naughty ones in
the margins. It’d been one of their many ways of communications. When they’d
first met, she’d teased him about being too closed off - too stoic to verbally
express his feelings, so she’d given him the journals. They were still some of
his most prized possessions.

“And is it helping?”

He shrugged. “I suppose, because I’m here to spend some time
with maybe a willing sub, even if it’s only to interact.”

Olivia arched an ebony eyebrow at him. “Interact? Is that what
they’re calling it these days? Last time I checked it was called getting laid.”

Gabriel swore softly, as his cheeks heated. “I didn’t say that…”

She stepped back from him. “You didn’t have to. I’ve been where
you’re at. I lost a sub. When my husband died, I put my physical needs on the
back burner. I almost left the lifestyle all together.”

Shock poured over him. He couldn’t imagine the owner and head
Mistress of
Olivia’s
ever walking
away from the scene. She lived for it, breathed for it. It was as much a part
of her as her dark hair and green eyes. “You’d never give up Jude and Micah, or
what they could give you.”

She sighed. “But I didn’t have them after Claude died. I had
nothing but a house full of painful memories of a husband who was so dependent
upon me that when he died, he left a huge hole in my life. If it hadn’t been
for that pesky little thing called a libido, I might have made the wrong
choice.”

He smirked. “So you’re telling me you let your pussy rule you?”

She smiled. “I’m human, Gabriel. I never claimed not to be. And
let’s just say, the kitty can be so demanding at times that even I can’t ignore
her.”

He jumped at the sound of the door opening. His eyes flew down
the aisle, but relaxed as two men clad in dark leather turned down the second
row of lockers, heading away from his and Olivia’s location.

“And I do believe you’re having the same issue with a different
twist.” She brushed her fingers over his sleeve. “Which is why I think you’re
here tonight on ‘scene night.’ You’re looking for a nameless hook-up.”

He didn’t even think about protesting. She was right and he knew
it. “I don’t think I’m ready for anything more than a scene, Olivia. I’ve got
needs but the emotional side…”

She nodded. “…is scary. I understand. So go out there. Find a
willing sub. Do a scene, try to forget whomever it was who drove you out of
your self-imposed exile. After all I’m sure she’ll eventually find a Dom who’ll
treat both her and Sophia well.”

He stiffened at her implication. She may have meant the words as
encouragement, but her tone implied something altogether different. “What
exactly are you trying to say? That I should jump into a relationship head on
with a woman who, at this moment, is living in your spare bedroom? She has a
kid for fuck’s sake. And one who doesn’t deserve to think she’s nothing more
than a substitute for Sara.”

Olivia narrowed her eyes. “And what makes you think that’s all
she’d be? She’s nothing like Sara. She’s quiet, composed, almost like a soft
breeze on a summer’s day. But don’t let her quiet nature fool you. She’s got a
backbone. Your Sara was bubbly, out-going, always smiling, but needy. In some
ways your Sara reminded me of Claude. Not that it’s a bad thing. As
Doms
we need to be needed.” She toyed with the flogger at
her hip. “But it takes a special type of Dom to care for a submissive who isn’t
needy all the time. One who doesn’t need their Dom to dictate their every
movement, or need to be reassured daily of their place in the Dom’s life. No,
the Dom a submissive like Zhenya needs is one who is capable of letting her be
exactly what she is, guiding her when need be, but supporting her choices when
not in the bedroom.”

“Like you found in Jude.” He couldn’t keep the bite out of his
voice as he spun back around to the front of his locker. Shoving the key in the
lock, he freed the padlock as he fumed. He didn’t begrudge Olivia the fact she
had her
submissives
, but it pissed him off that she’d
focused on the one point of contention between himself and Sara: her constant
need for reassurance.

She must’ve freed the flogger, because the strappy thud behind
him was familiar. He’d seen her lightly strap her thigh with her own flogger
many times over the years. She used it when her brain was spinning, weighing
her options, then deciding upon a plan of action. It usually never boded well
for the intended victim. And he had feeling this time he was the one she’d set
her sights on.

“Yes, like my Jude. He’s strong, but submissive. A rather unique
combination. And that’s what I see in Zhenya. When I watch her with her
daughter or teasing Hark.”

His immediate thoughts of being a victim flew out the window at
the mention of the man’s name. Fury and panic consumed him. Swinging around, he
glared at her, his hands on his hips. “What do you mean Hark? What the hell are
you doing letting that man around her or my Sophia? He’s not to be trusted.
He’s dangerous. Just look what happened with Teresina, Alex, and George. I
can’t believe you’d let him into your home let alone around a defenseless
child. Dammit Olivia! Jude promised me you’d take care of them.”

Her eyes narrowed. “And I am. Hark
Akula
is perfect protection for Zhenya and your Sophia. The next best thing after you
told us you didn’t want her at your house.”

“How
the
hell would
you think he’d be a good protector for a defenseless woman and infant? And why
the fuck aren’t Jude and Micah enough?”

“Because if Sebastene is looking into Zhenya’s background, he’s
going to immediately start digging into
Caelan’s
background, which will lead him to discover the club. How long do you think
it’s
gonna
take for him to figure out who the major
players are? To track her down at my place?”

A new voice answered the question. “Not very long.” Jude came to
stand next to Olivia. “I just got a tip from a friend at the Greek Consulate
that a man fitting
Sebastene’s
description just
entered the country in New York. His flight plan shows him headed to Denver
with a layover in Chicago. He’s on the move.” He brushed a kiss over the top of
his Mistress’s head. “I’ve already called Hark and warned him. He’s going to
take extra precautions to keep the girls safe as am I. I called Micah and he’s
securing the condo as we speak, and is planning on an extended stay for all of
us here at the club.” He nuzzled her head. “We really ought to replace the
daybed in your playroom with a king size bed, as much time as we end up
spending here.”

“Hmmm, I’ll think about it.” She wrapped her arm around her
submissive. “Did I ever tell you how much I love it when you go alpha on me,
pet?”

“What about Zhenya and Sophia?” Gabriel clenched his fists.
“You’re honestly going to bring them into a BDSM club?”

Jude gave him a confused look. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”
He asked softly.

She shook her head and Jude sighed. “I thought we talked about
this. You were supposed to tell him last week.” He stepped away from Olivia and
placed his body between hers and Gabriel’s.

The move grated on Gabriel’s already strained nerves. “Tell me
what? And why the hell are you protecting her? I’d never hurt her.”

A disgruntled look crossed Jude’s face. “Call it my protective
streak. I’d step between her and Micah if I thought she was at risk.” He
crossed his arms over his chest. “And I know you’re
gonna
hit the roof when I tell you, which is why I asked Olivia to do it last week
after Laura, our decoy at
Caelan’s
apartment,
received a threatening text on Zhenya’s phone from that ass. We moved Zhenya
and the baby out to Hark’s place north of Zion.”

Gabriel clenched his jaw and fought the need to deck Jude. “You
should’ve just let Sebastene take her and Sophia.”

“Gabriel!” Olivia’s outrage was lost on him.

“The man fucking killed my sister, her husband, and their child.
How could you let a defenseless woman and baby go with him?”

Olivia stepped out from behind Jude and tapped Gabriel in the
chest with her crop. “How many damn times do I have to tell you, Hark didn’t
kill them? He did the right thing calling George and Teresina to come get him.
He had no business getting behind the wheel of the car after drinking as much
as he had. How was he to know the idiot at the bar had friends, or that they’d
attack the people coming to pick him up? Not even you could fight off eight men
with knives.”