Gambling On Maybe (4 page)

Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

little finger and every movement drew him tighter, firmer, into Zach's grasp.

Fucking hell if he cared right then.

His throat was dry, their bodies slicked with sweat despite the faint, distant hum of the air conditioning, the cool air blasting over them, but doing nothing to lessen the overwhelming heat being generated.

Over and over, harder and harder. Zach shoved at his shoulders and the world shifted and Zach rode him like he was a goddamn trick pony. Dark eyes wild, pale cheeks flushed, small hands splayed on Stephen's chest as he worked his hips hard and fast, gazes locked.

Stephen's hands gripped Zach's hips, not to guide—God, the man didn't need help there—but just to touch, to hold, more to brace himself for what was coming than anything else.

What was coming was a torrential whirlwind, whipping closer and closer, with every sultry roll of narrow hips, every flick of a pretty, pink tongue across parted, gasping lips.

Stephen couldn't look away and welcomed the oblivion hovering just out of reach.

And then it wasn't out of reach; it was right there and he managed somehow to have the presence of mind to reach down and stroke Zach with him, biting back the completion that rattled his cage, unwilling to go there alone, by God.

He shouldn't have worried. Zach's eyes widened and went more than a little hazy at almost the same instant Stephen realized he couldn't stop the end anymore than he could have stopped the beginning. Like it was meant to happen and he 32

Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

was just a puppet in a play. Who held the strings, he didn't know, and in that moment didn't care.

His shout mingled with Zach's sharp cry, both bucking, and he dragged the young man down to claim his lips in the last seconds, as the waves crashed and cocks jerked and the scent of sex filled the air so Stephen thought he would never get the smell out of his mind. Permeating. Submerging.

Covering him in Zach. And damn it was beautiful.

Long moments passed with the silence filled only with panting breaths and lingering moans, the wildness of the past moments gone and leaving only aching muscles and satisfyingly sticky skin.

"Holy shit."

Stephen's lips twitched at the hoarse, breathless comment.

"You weren't kidding."

He laughed then, turning his face to brush his lips against Zach's sweat-damp temple. "Told you."

"Mmm," Zach mumbled, nuzzling into Stephen's neck.

"Mental note to challenge your manhood more often. LikeEin ten minutes or so. Just let me catch my breath."

Stephen let out a rough, primitive sound, rolling to pin the other man beneath him and give his jaw a stinging bite. "I prefer you breathless," he whisperedEand they put the second condom to very good use.

"Oh, noE"

Beside him, Zach's best friend Jordy looked up from his phone with a confused expression. "What?"

Zach glanced behind him, and Jordy turned to peer out the back windshield, wincing at the sight of lights flashing.

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Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

"Uh-ohE" Zach bit his lip as he pulled his car, an adorable little black and blue Cooper Mini, over to the side of the road, sighing. "Don't say anything, Jordy. You always make it worse."

Jordy laughed. "Like the time I promised the cop we definitely, for sure did
not
have Ecstasy hidden in the dash?"

"Yes, just like that, bitch. Now shush!" Had he been speeding? It was possible. Zach tended to take road signs, whatever they were, as suggestions more than actual rules.

Nine times out of ten, though, he could talk his way out of it.

"Hey, just mention Officer Hotness! Isn't there some kind of, like, code where cops don't give tickets to other cops'

wives or something? Do booty calls count?" Jordy snickered at Zach's hushing look.

He rolled the window down as the officer approached, a woman, which boded well for him. Women liked him; he was cute and non-threatening, like an animated gazelle. Zach turned a beaming smile on her as she came abreast of the driver's side window.

"Good afternoon, officer!" he said cheerfully, tilting his head. "Is there a problem?" He made his eyes as wide as he could, his very best why-whatever-could-be-the-matter? look.

The only change in her expression was the subtle lift of one brow.

Oh, dear. It's her. From the front desk the other day.
She hadn't seemed to like him at all.
Crapdoodle.

The officer pushed her sunglasses up onto her head and flipped open the little pad in her hand. "License, registration and proof of insurance, please."

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Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

Zach turned to open the glove box, giving Jordy a wide-eyed uh-oh look before turning back and handing her the papers and his license. The silence was heavy as she scribbled on her notepad, and Zach finally cleared his throat.

"I remember you!" he chirped, hoping his cheer didn't sound too forced. "You were at the front desk the other day at the police station. I'd stopped by to visit my friend, Stephen Miranda?
Sergeant
Stephen Miranda?" Okay, so he gave the title a bit of emphasis.
It can't hurt to jog her
memory, right?

Except when she lifted her gaze from the notepad to look at him, her expression was icy.

Oh, boy. Bad idea, maybe.

"Yes, I remember you."

"Oh. Okay. Well, hello againE" He pressed his lips together and glanced over at Jordy, who was trying his best not to laugh. So much for the friendly approach. Looked like this was one ticket he was going to have to pay.

"You were going sixty in a forty-five, sir, and I'm going to have to ticket you for speeding and reckless driving."

"Reckless driving?"

She smirked a little as she continued filling out the ticket.

"Fifteen miles an hour over the speed limit in a residential area constitutes an additional fine for reckless driving."

Zach slumped.
Well, jeez.
Like anyone knew that little rule but cops.

She leaned over to hand him back his information, gaze flicking to Jordy, then back to him. "I'd like you to step out of the car, please."

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Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

Zach's eyes widened and he straightened, glancing worriedly at Jordy, then the officer. "I'mEumEwhat? Why?"

She didn't answer, just opened the door and gestured him to get out.

Zach's heart pounded, wondering what on earth was going on, but obeyed, sliding out of the car after shutting it off. His hands shook a little, not because he thought he'd done anything so wrong he could get arrested or something, but, wellEit was nerve-wracking anyway!

"Am I allowed to ask what's going on?" It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if he could get his Miranda, but he didn't think now was the time for a joke, however well timed.

The officer stopped at the back of his car and pulled off the ticket she'd filled out, handing it to him. "I want to tell you that I'm sure you're a nice kid and everything, but Sergeant Miranda doesn't need any hiccups right now. He's up for promotion and looking to retire in another fifteen years or so.

He's a career cop, or plans to be."

Zach blinked, stomach dropping a bit. "What do you meanEhiccups?"

She dropped her sunglasses back onto her nose, tucking her ticket pad back into her pocket. "Like the brass finding out anythingEunsavory about him. Controversial. If you give a damn about him, leave him alone. Just a bit of advice, from one friend of his to another."

Then she turned and walked back to her car, leaving Zach standing there with his palms sweaty, heart pounding and eyes burning. After a moment, he gathered himself enough to 36

Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

trust he wouldn't burst into tears the minute he got back into the car and Jordy asked what happened.

Sliding back behind the wheel, he put on his over-sized Prada sunglasses with shaky hands and didn't say a word.

Jordy didn't either, and Zach would have thought it very strange if his friend hadn't reached over and squeezed his hand. Jordy had heard. Zach's throat tightened and he shook his head with a shrug.

"Not right now."

Jordy nodded. "Okay. Shopping?" It was their go-to therapy.

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

"Hey, this is Zach. You know what to do!"

Stephen frowned as he hung up, yet again, on Zach's cheerful voicemail message. Stephen had already left three messages, but over the last couple of days Zach hadn't returned any of them.

He was beginning to think he was being given the brush-off.

Okay, more than "beginning to think," he
did
think it.

Common sense told him. At first, he'd thought maybe something had happened, but he was a police officer. He had access to every crime in the city, for God's sake. Zach was fine; he just wasn't answering and wasn't calling back.

Which left Stephen with brush-off as the logical conclusion.

Only it wasn't exactly logical. Three nights ago, they'd spent hours together, not just fucking, but touching and kissing and talking and cramming into Zach's tiny shower 37

Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

together to make out some more under the pretense of getting cleaned up the next morning.

And it'd been good. Really good. It'd felt likeE Well, it'd felt like a beginning, not an end. He'd had one-night stands, plenty of them, and he knew what they felt like when they were over. Slightly awkward, both of you trying not to say you'd call because you knew you wouldn't. Followed by a sense of relief when you got out the door without anyone getting hurt or getting weird.

This hadn't felt anything like that. They'd had breakfast—

Cocoa Puffs and soy milk—and made out at the door as long as they could without one or both of them being late for work.

Zach had given him a beaming smile and a chipper wink and told him he'd better call or he'd be showing up with breakfast for the boys again.

Never once had Stephen gotten the impression he'd only been saying it not to hurt his feelings and it hadn't seemed insincere in any way. So why was Zach avoiding him now?

Was Stephen's dating sense so off-kilter he couldn't even recognize when a pretty boy lied to him to spare his pride?

No, he didn't think so. Not even a little.

So that left him with—what to do now? Let it lie and go back to where he'd been a few days ago? Surely it wouldn't be too hard. How much of an impact could one man make in such a short amount of time?

Stephen already knew the answer, though. A big one.

Maybe it was just the new bloom of infatuation, maybe not, but Zach was all Stephen could think about. He wasn't stupid.

He didn't think he was in love or anything, but, you know, 38

Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

maybe it was a possibility. Maybe there was something there that could become something real, something life changing.

Maybe.

Was he willing to gamble on maybe? He'd never been a gambling man. But damn it, hadn't he, the other night with Zach, thought about how he wished he could be like Zach, could really live and taste life and the world?

What would Zach do?

He was halfway to the door before he finished asking himself the question.

It was a sad day when even the new fall collections coming into the boutique where Zach worked couldn't get him excited. He'd had half a dozen people already ask if he was sick, if maybe he needed to go home. He couldn't blame people; his co-workers and regular customers had to be looking for the pod right about now with how off he was acting.

Stevie had stopped leaving messages. He hadn't stopped calling completely, and Zach's heart tripped every time he saw the precinct number come up on his phone, right before he hit ignore. He'd stop calling. Eventually.

Zach wasn't even trying to fool himself into thinking he was looking forward to that day.

Jordy had asked him the night before, while watching
Steel
Magnolias
and drinking dirty martinis, why he had listened to that bitchy cop. Why was he avoiding someone he liked because of what some bigoted asshole had to say?

Normally, Zach would agree. He never hid his sparkle, he never tried to hide it and he damn sure never apologized for 39

Gambling On Maybe

by Fae Sutherland

it. But that was him. His choice. He took the consequences for it, and there
were
consequences. He got laughed at, he got shit from strangers on the street, he got hassled by people he didn't know for no reason other than he didn't hide his little light under a fucking bushel.

But while he was willing to take responsibility for who he was, willing to be himself and fuck the world, take what they dished outEhe didn't have any right to ask that of anyone else.

There were a hundred different ways to be a gay man in this world. From the straight-acting, butch, manly men like his Officer Hotness, to the twinkiest twinks who ever lived, like himself, and everywhere in between. He didn't have any right to tell anyone how to "be gay," nor did he have any right to expect anyone else to be willing to shoulder the burden Zach willingly carried in order to be himself.

Which meant he had no right to ask Stevie to become someone he wasn't in order to be with him. Zach didn't have any problem being anyone's secret boy-toy. It was kind of sexy if you asked him—all hidden liaisons and very undercover lover. But the fact of the matter was that, unless they never went anywhere together, there was no way to keep people from finding out about them. People who could damage Stevie's career.

Phoenix wasn't as big a city as the population said it was.

You ran into people you went to high school with, people you knew from the gym, from the clubs, from work. And with a job like Stevie's, it'd be even more impossible to hide completely.

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