Game On (13 page)

She flattened her palms against his chest
and took a step back. “What are you talking about? Why not?”

“Because of you.”

Brianna searched his face, almost as though
she expected him to crack a smile and tell her he’d been teasing. “You can’t be
serious. We weren’t even…” She shrugged. “You know… I mean, you didn’t owe me
anything.”

“Maybe not, but I owed it to myself to grow
up and start takin’ life a little more seriously. I’ve had a hell of a lot of
fun, and I don’t have any regrets…” He ran his fingertip down the length of her
nose and smiled when she crinkled her nose. “I take that back. I do have one
regret. I wish I’d had the sense to tell you how I felt about you years ago.”

“How do you feel?” she asked quietly,
lowering her eyes to his chest.

“Look at me,” he whispered. He waited until
she looked him in the eye before he said, “I love everything about you, from
your fierce determination when you tackle a problem to the loyalty you’ve
always shown your friends and family.” He pulled her closer. “You’re my best
friend, Bri. But I want you to be so much more than that. I want you to be my
lover, my-”

She placed her finger against his lips. “I
love you too, you know that. I’m obviously attracted to you, but you can’t deny
sex would complicate things between us. I’m not sure if we’re ready for that…
if we’ll ever be ready for that.”

Ryan tried to ignore the knot of dread
tightening his stomach as he led her off the elevator. Why wouldn’t she accept
the fact that he wanted so much more than a physical relationship with her? He
knew why: he was a terrible risk.

Stopping in front of the glass doors that
led to the parking lot, he asked, “Will you just give me a chance?”

She smiled as she stroked his face. “You’re
the best guy I know. You’re sweet and funny, sexy as hell, and just a little
crazy. I love all those things about you, but other things about you scare me,
Ry.”

He led her toward a row of chairs lining
one wall. He guided her into one of the chairs as he knelt down in front of
her. “I know you’re worried that if things don’t work out, we would lose our
friendship. I’m not gonna lie, that scares me too, but I’m not gonna allow fear
to stand in my way anymore, and I don’t want you to either.”

She reached for his hands and held them
tight as her eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I
don’t even want to imagine my life without you. But I’m not going to delude
myself either. You are who you are and that’s not going to change. As a friend,
you’re exactly the kind of person I need in my life, but as a boyfriend, I know
you’d make me crazy.”

The coil of tension in his gut drew tighter
as he forced himself to ask, “What do you mean?”

“You’d go out to the strip joints with the
boys, get loaded, forget to call or pick me up when you said you would. You’d
flirt with every woman in sight…”

Ryan hated her assessment, hated even more
that he couldn’t deny she painted an accurate picture of the man he used to be.
“People can change, Bri.”

“That’s just it. I’d never ask you to
change. I love you just the way you are. A little immature, the life of every
party, the first guy to pour a drink and the last guy to leave.” She smiled as
she ran a hand through his hair. “You’re the guy every girl in the room is
drawn to like a magnet, ‘cause you’re so damn sexy. Everyone wants a little
piece of you ‘cause they’re hopin’ your attitude, your outlook, will rub off on
them.”

“I know I can’t go on like that forever.
I’m not a kid anymore.”

“It’s just part of who you are. Your laugh
is infectious because it’s so real, so genuine. You don’t care if you’re the
butt of the joke as long as you make everyone in the room laugh with you. I
don’t know if you realize how great I think that is.”

Her hands were ice cold, and he knew she
wasn’t as collected as she pretended. “There’s more to me than that.”

“You don’t think I know that? I know you’ve
always tried to downplay your intelligence. Back in school, you were perfectly
content for people to believe that you were just this dumb jock, meanwhile you
were pullin’ straight As without breaking a sweat.”

Ryan sighed. He didn’t want to look back;
he wanted to move forward. “Where are you goin’ with this, Bri?”

“The point I’m trying to make is that I
know who you are, and more importantly, I know who you’re not.”

He held his breath, waiting for her to
continue.

“You’re not the guy who’s going to be
satisfied with a quiet life in the suburbs or summer vacations to the Grand
Canyon. You need excitement and adventure, and I respect that, but…”

“But what?” He knew he didn’t want to hear
the answer, but he found the courage to ask the question anyway.

“But… that’s the life I want, Ry. I’m not
like you. No one would describe me as fun or particularly exciting. I’m not
adventurous. I don’t need the thrill of jumping off buildings or out of
airplanes. I don’t need three day benders in Vegas to have a good time.”

The problem with knowing someone so well
was that they knew every stupid mistake you’d ever made, even the ones you
wished they’d forget. He opened his mouth to defend her opinion of herself when
she pressed her fingertips against his lips.

“The thing is, I’m happy with who I am. I
really like my nice, quiet, predictable life. I love my job, my routine. I’d
much rather curl up with a good book on a Saturday night than attend a flashy
party. I know that’s not only a job requirement for you, it’s who you are.
That’s why the talent at Titan loves you so much, because you know how to show
them a good time.”

“Bri, we could find a way to work it out.”
He desperately wanted to believe that, because the alternative was unthinkable.
He couldn’t go on being her best friend, loving her so much it hurt just to
look at her knowing he didn’t have the right to touch her, wanting her, yet
knowing he could never have her.

“You can’t change who you are any more than
I can change who I am.” She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “I love who you
are, and I love who I am.” She stood up and pulled him into a lingering
embrace. “Don’t ever change, Ry,” she whispered. “Not for anyone, but certainly
not for me. Not only would you make yourself miserable, you’d make me miserable
too.”

When she took a step toward the door, he
reached for her hand. “Hey, what about dinner?”

“Rain check,” she said, before lifting the
collar on her black wool coat and stepping up to the sliding glass doors.

Ryan watched her cross the parking lot,
barely able to contain the urge to run after her. If she wanted space, he could
give her that, but he’d never accept her claim that they were too different to
find happiness together.

Brianna was on her way home the day after
her elevator encounter with Ryan, but the thought of going home to an empty
apartment that still reminded her of cheating ex-boyfriends held little appeal.

She kept driving without realizing where
she was headed until her car found its way to Brentwood. Her cousin Alisa,
someone who’d known Ryan his whole life, would be able to help her make sense
of her chaotic thoughts. One minute she was certain she’d made the right
decision, telling Ryan they didn’t have a future because of their differences,
but the next minute she was reaching for the phone, ready to beg forgiveness
for pushing him away.

She’d snuck away to the ladies room more
than once to indulge in the tears that seemed determined to ruin her plans for
a productive day. She loved him. She suspected she was
in love
with him,
but everything she told him last night was true. They couldn’t ignore the
glaring differences between them. She knew he would never be happy with a life
of quiet domesticity any more than she would find happiness in the overcrowded
night clubs and casinos he frequented.

Standing on their doorstep, feeling guilty
for showing up without calling first, she hesitated to ring the doorbell. She
glanced at her watch: quarter to eight. They were probably getting ready to put
the baby to bed.
I’ll just come back another time or call Alisa tomorrow…

“Hey,” Liam said, opening the door. “I
thought that was your car I saw pulling in.” He opened his arms and she stepped
into them without question.

She didn’t know what it was about her
cousin’s husband that always seemed to put her at ease. From the first time she
met Liam, she liked him. They’d gone from being friends to family in no time,
and Brianna couldn’t be happier to count him among the people she trusted. She
had a lot of male friends her own age, but Liam’s life experience and maturity
made him someone she could turn to when she needed a different perspective.
Like
now.

“Okay, you wanna tell me what’s going on
with you, Bri?” he asked, offering her a hug. He stroked her hair as he closed
the door behind her.

She sniffled, trying to pull herself
together. “Oh God,” she said, stepping away when she realized she was leaving a
damp spot on a shirt that probably cost more than she’d earn this month. “I’m
sorry, I hope I didn’t stain your shirt.”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t give a damn
about the shirt.”

Liam brushed a thumb under her eye to catch
a falling tear, and Brianna knew he’d probably dried his teenage daughter’s
tears in much the same way dozens of times. It only made her feel worse. She
should be past the stage of crying over men. If she had any sense, she’d find
someone more her speed, a lawyer or… no, not a lawyer. Jared was a lawyer. An
accountant maybe, someone who appreciated order and routines as much as she
did. Not someone who thumbed his nose at authority and loved to chase the next
thrill.

“I’m sorry.” She reached into her pocket
for a tissue. How sad was it that she carried tissues in her pocket, just in
case? It reminded her of something her eighty nine year-old nana would do.
Drying her tears, she sniffled and tried to put on a brave face. “You and Alisa
have enough to deal with… You don’t need to listen to my problems.”

“Isn’t that what families do?” Liam tipped
her chin with his finger when she glanced at the door, plotting her escape.
“Don’t even think about it, young lady. If you think I’m going to let you leave
this house in your state, you’d better think again.”

Liam reminded her so much of her oldest
brothers, Jay and Mike. They were forever trying to fix things for her, but she
knew no one, not even her over-protective big brothers, could prevent her from
losing her heart to Ryan Spencer. It was already too late for that.

“Where’s Alisa?” she asked, glancing toward
the massive circular staircase.

“She’s just giving Trey his bath. She’ll be
down in a minute.” He put his arm around her shoulder and led her toward the
kitchen. “In the meantime, let me get you something to drink. What’ll it be: a
glass of wine or something stronger?”

“Herbal tea would be nice, if you have it?”
She knew Ryan faced his problems by double fisting it, another reminder of how
different they were. She sat on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island and
watched Liam brew the tea. “There’s no way a sexy billionaire hotel tycoon
should look so comfortable brewing tea.”

Liam smirked as he reached for a cup and
saucer in an overhead cupboard. “I have to admit, before I met your cousin, I
barely lifted a finger to do anything around the house. But a hell of a lot has
changed since then.” He set Brianna’s cup and saucer down and reached into the
fridge for a bottle of water for himself.

“Do you ever miss it? I mean, Alisa told me
a bit about your life before. You used to travel all over the world, work crazy
hours…”

“No, I don’t miss it. I love my life just
the way it is.”

“Did you ever think you’d be able to settle
in to this quiet life of domestic bliss?”

Brianna knew she was comparing Liam to Ryan
and that wasn’t fair. Liam was much older and more mature. He’d already had a
teenage daughter and a health scare that gave him the motivation to slow down
by the time he committed to Alisa. Ryan was different. He was still young,
care-free. He had every right to live his life however he saw fit and she had
no right to expect him to change to make her happy. She meant what she said to
him last night. She didn’t want him to become someone else just to please her,
even if it meant they could never be together. She wanted him to be happy.

“No, I didn’t. But then I never thought I’d
meet someone like Alisa either.”

“That’s so sweet,” Brianna said, propping
her chin in her hand. She wanted someone to feel that way about her. Someone
who was willing to give up everything because he couldn’t imagine his life
without her, but asking Ryan to give up his lifestyle was like asking him to
deny who he was.

“It’s the truth,” Liam said, leaning over
the counter. “You ready to talk about what’s bothering you?”

“What happens when you fall in love with
the wrong person? How do you talk yourself out of it? How do you get over them…
let them go, even when you don’t want to because you can’t imagine your life
without them?” The tears started flowing again in earnest as she began to face
her worst fear…
life without Ryan.