Game On (17 page)

“I want you,” she whispered, knowing she
had to give him something or risk losing him for good this time.

He eased his hands into her hair and tipped
her mouth up to meet his. Without regard for the couples dancing around them,
Ryan slipped his tongue past the seam of her lips, demanding without asking,
taking without giving her a chance to object. He flattened one hand against her
lower back, melding her softness with his hardness as his mouth continued to
explore hers so thoroughly the crowd around them slipped away. His mouth was
the only thing that mattered, the slow slide of his tongue against hers, his
heat and hunger stoking her own.

“Oh, wow,” she said breathlessly, leaning
her head against his chest as she tried to find her balance in the spinning
room. She gripped the bulging biceps straining through his shirt and she knew
he was still fighting for control. When she finally looked up into his eyes, he
had a lazy, self-satisfied smile on his face. “What’s so funny?”

“I’d say we finally went public with our
relationship
.”

“Oh, Jesus,” she groaned, closing her eyes
when she saw their friends standing around, smiling and laughing at their
public display of affection. “I guess we could have been a little more
discreet, huh?”

“Why?” he asked, brushing his lips against
her ear. “I’m ready to tell the whole goddamn world that I’m in love with you,
Bri.”

An unsteady breath escaped her lips. She
didn’t know how to respond to his claim. Admitting that she was in love with
him was a step she was afraid to take while so much remained unresolved between
them. “Ry, you know nothing has changed. I still don’t know how we’re going to
make this work. Everything I said the other night is true…” But Liam and Alisa
had made her realize there may be a way to make it work, if they were both
willing and able to compromise.

“But…” He skimmed her cheek with his lips.
“I know there’s a but in there somewhere. If there wasn’t, you wouldn’t have
kissed me like that.”

“We just have a long way to go to figure
out if this could even work. You can’t deny we’re completely different people.”

“That’s what’s so great about it,” he said,
smiling. “I make sure you have fun once in a while, and you keep me grounded.
You remind me of what’s important.” His hands skimmed the long blond hair
running the length of her back. “You know who else agrees with me?”

“Who?”

“Your father, and mine, believe it or not.”

“Wait a second,” Brianna said, shaking her
head to clear the confusion. “You talked to our parents about this? About us?
When?” She knew people were noticing their conversation when he took her hand
and led her across the dance floor.

He stopped at the bar and whispered
something in J.T.’s ear before leading her up the back staircase toward the
private quarters that housed an office and apartment for the previous owners.

Closing the door behind them, he spun her
around, flattening her back against the scarred wood panel. “I want you,” he
whispered, fixating on her lips. “What’s more, I need you. Not just in my bed,
but in my life, every day, every night…”

“Ryan,” she said, putting a hand between
them. “I think…”

“Sssh,” he said, pressing a tender kiss to
her lips. “I let you do all the talkin’ the other night. Now it’s my turn.”

He surprised her by stepping out of her
arms. For once, she wanted to be bold and haul him back to finish what he’d
started on the dance floor.

Ryan embodied every woman’s sensual
fantasies, the way he spoke, the way he moved, the searing imprint of his hands
on her skin that taunted without fulfilling the promise of ecstasy. When he
brought her up here, she expected him to use his skills in the bedroom to sway
her, but as she glanced at the double bed tucked in to the corner of the small
apartment, she wondered where that would leave them if he was able to lower her
defenses with physical persuasion.

He followed her gaze and grinned. “I didn’t
bring you up here for that.”

She felt the hot burn of shame stain her
cheeks as she forced herself to look at him. “That’s not what I was thinking.”

He chuckled. “Liar.” His smile fell away as
he looked at her. “That’s the thing about knowin’ someone as well as we know
each other, Bri. There’s no point tryin’ to pretend this is somethin’ it
isn’t.”

She swallowed repeatedly as she tried to
find her voice. Maybe those days away had given him a new perspective regarding
their relationship. Perhaps he was willing to accept less than everything, if
that’s all she was prepared to offer, but she didn’t know if that would be enough
to satisfy her any more. With a man like Ryan, would anything less than
everything ever be enough?

He stalked the floor as though he couldn’t
contain the excess energy coursing through his body. “This isn’t some passin’
thing between us. We have too much history for that.”

She couldn’t argue with his logic. A
friends
with benefits
arrangement would never work for them. “So, what are you
suggesting?”

He turned to face her. “I want it all.”

She sucked in a breath when she saw the
intensity in his eyes. He was right; they knew each other well enough to know
when the other was lying, to themselves or each other. There was no doubt in
her mind that Ryan was being honest, with her and himself. “What does that
mean?”

Ryan sighed and began pacing the length of
the wide wood planks again. “I know it takes time to build a relationship. We
trust each other, as friends, but the kind of relationship I’m proposin’
requires a level of trust I know I haven’t earned yet.” He ran a hand through
his cropped black hair, leaving it slightly disheveled.

Her response was barely above a whisper
when she asked, “What kind of relationship are you proposing?” She cursed
herself for leaving that innuendo hovering between them. If there was one thing
she knew about men, especially commitment phobic men like Ryan, they hated
being backed in to a corner and asked to define a relationship to put their
partner’s mind at ease. “Not that I’m asking for a commitment or anything,” she
said quickly, hoping it wasn’t too late for her to back pedal to save face.

“But that’s what I’m tryin’ to tell you. I
want a commitment.” He took a step closer, closing the distance between them
slowly and purposefully, almost as though he was giving her a chance to escape
if she still wanted to exercise that option.

Her feet were firmly rooted to the ground
as she watched him close in on her. “You mean you want to be my boyfriend?” She
felt silly labeling Ryan as her boyfriend. He was already so much more than
that.

He smiled at her choice of words as he
reached for a lock of her hair, twisting it around his finger as he stepped
closer, barely allowing enough room for them to breathe in the gap that
remained between their bodies. “I’d like to be more than that, but I guess it’s
a start. Especially if it means I get to be the only man in your life.” He
pushed her hair aside as his lips descended on her neck, zeroing in on her most
vulnerable spot as though he’d mapped her body with the familiarity of a
long-term partner. “I wanna be your lover,” he said between intimate kisses.
“Your best friend…” Another mind-numbing kiss as his hand skimmed over her ribs
to the swell of her breast. “Your protector…” He kissed her neck as he pinned
her body to the door.

“You’re already all of those things,” she
said, trying to keep her breathing even as her arms circled his neck to draw
him closer. “Except for being my lover, and I do want that, Ry.”

He pulled back to look her in the eye. “You
need to know that isn’t all I want. Your body isn’t enough for me.”

She shifted, filling his hands with her
curves as a smile teased the corners of her mouth. “Are you sure about that?”

He turned the tables on her when he brushed
his thumbs across the rigid peaks straining against the thin fabric of her
shirt. “Don’t get me wrong, I want your body.” His hands fell to her hips as he
taunted her with his erection. “But even more than that, I want to prove to you
that I’m the guy you’ve been waitin’ for, Bri.”

Her hand coasted over the stubble on his
jaw and she managed a shaky smile as the little voice in her head reminded her
that tears were pointless. Just because he was saying all of the things she’d
been hoping to hear, that didn’t mean he would feel the same way a month or
year from now. She had to remind herself that this was Ryan, and while she knew
he would never hurt her intentionally, he had never committed to anything or
anyone in his life.

***

Ryan could see the shadow of doubt in her
eyes. He knew earning her trust would mean navigating a long and taxing road to
prove to her that he was willing to change. He had already changed… the moment
he acknowledged to himself that he was in love with her, that she was the woman
he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

The old Ryan would have taken advantage of
the bed beckoning to them, but the man who deserved a woman like Brianna would
wait until the timing was perfect. He’d set the scene to create the fantasy she
deserved. “Come away with me next weekend,” he said, skimming his lips back and
forth over her cheek as his hot breath fanned her hair. “Just the two of us,
somewhere secluded, romantic…” He smiled when he felt her tremble in his arms.
No question, he was on the right track.

“You want to wait until next weekend to…” She
pulled him closer and buried her face in the crook of his neck. “What I mean
is, we don’t have to wait. I know you want to, so do I.”

“I love you, Bri.” He let his words sink in
before he leaned back to look into her eyes as he repeated them. “I love you.
Not as a friend, but as the only woman I want to be with from now on. I’ve
never said those words to anyone before, ever. You need to know that.” A tear
slipped down her cheek and he knew she was in the midst of an inner struggle,
trying to decide how to respond. “I know you’re not ready to give me your heart
completely yet, and I can understand why, given my track record with women.”

“I know you would never hurt me on
purpose,” she said, leaving a twin trail of tears on her cheeks. “I’m scared.
If things don’t work out, if you decide that you aren’t interested in a
committed relationship after all, it would change everything. We could never go
back to being just friends.”

“Don’t you think we’ve already passed the
point where we could ever go back to being
just friends
?”  He knew they
both had to be willing to face their fears before they could take the risk
necessary to move forward. “As it stands now, we can’t go back. I don’t want to
go back. I don’t want the kind of relationship we used to have. It was making
me miserable.”

“It was?” she asked, looking surprised.

“Watchin’ you with that Ross character,” he
said, flattening his hands on either side of her head. “It was hell. And seein’
you here that night with Clint…” His dropped his head and stared at the ground
between them. “Kissin’ him, watchin’ him fall for you...” He cleared his
throat. “You’ll never know how much that hurt. I’ve never experienced real fear
until I saw the way he looked at you that night.”

“Ryan,” she said, resting her hands on
either side of his face as she tilted his head up. “I told you before, he means
nothing to me.”

“I know that now,” he said, remembering the
surge of helplessness he’d felt seeing her in another man’s arms. “But it hit
me, right then and there, this could be it. This guy could be the one who takes
you away from me. I could lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” she said,
drawing him into a tight hug.

“Promise me,” he whispered fiercely,
lifting her off the ground. “Promise me you’ll never wanna leave me.” He knew
he was being unreasonable, asking her to make a promise of that magnitude so
soon in their relationship, but this wasn’t a woman he’d just met. This was a
woman he’d known his whole life, someone he often felt knew him better than he
knew himself. She was often the conscience that guided his decisions, the voice
he heard in his head reprimanding him for his stupid mistakes, and the loving
hand on his back when he needed comfort. She filled the void in his life.

“I need you in my life,” she whispered in
his ear. “I don’t think you realize how much. Don’t think for a second this
doesn’t work both ways, Spencer.”

He set her down on the ground and brought
her hands to his lips, kissing each hand in turn. “Tell me, tell me everything.
What you want, what you’re afraid of, where you’re hopin’ this will lead.”
Tell
me you wanna be my wife, have my babies, grow old with me. Please, please, just
say those words so I can breathe again.

“How about we table this conversation until
next weekend?”

He didn’t want to wait. He needed her
reassurance now. Without that, this could prove to be the longest week of his
life. “Why don’t we just-”

She kissed him with the single-minded
purpose of making him forget his objections, and it worked.

“You wanna tell me what the hell this is?”
Avery asked, clutching a piece of paper as she stormed through Ryan’s office
door on Monday morning.