Gate Wide Open (11 page)

My baby!
I thought. This shit was moving too fast, but I had to say it just felt right here with him.

“Well, I guess—”

He placed his finger to my lips. “I won't accept no for an answer.”

I thought Wallace was a bit possessive. Usually I normally didn't let any niggas dictate to me, but he did sound sincere. And his baby-soft lips pressed against mine made me melt.

“Oh, and one more thing.” He pulled away from me.

I had an instant flashback of when Kenny had threatened me. I was hoping he wasn't another nutcase as well.

“I don't think it's best for you to be living across town when you can be living here. So I was hoping you would move in with me…if that's okay with you.”

Before I could blink, I had said yes, and asked him if my cats could come as well. He agreed, as long as they were declawed and neutered.

I drove home happy and elated that I was moving on up as The Jeffersons said it. I decided to keep my apartment as a precaution. I still had my plans that included the Black family and my children. I was just going to have to modify my revenge agenda a little.

When I got home, I checked my mail and saw that I'd received a letter requesting my presence at some kind of hearing for Carl Black's estate.

Thy Will Be Done
November 30
^th
, 2018, 12:35
P.M
.

It was the Thanksgiving holiday, and Mona, my mom, and I made our entrance into the office where my father's will was being read. I didn't have turkey on the brain either. I was wondering how all of this was going to affect me.

We walked into the mediation room and gathered into our seats. Mona and my mom had looks of sorrow on their faces. I, on the other hand, had a look of “Let's get this over with.” I really could care less what my father left me. He had passed this homosexual demon to me. Now I was sitting here, my mind clouded with anger and resentment. I wanted the shit to be over and now.

“Hey, all,” I heard out of nowhere.

I was broken out of my trance by none other than James Parks. I sat up straight and looked at Mona, and we both had the look of, “Not today” on our faces.

“I said, ‘Hey, all,'” he repeated with a little more force.

Sometimes he seemed to be so gay, other times you just couldn't tell. There was united silence in the room as we all pretended he wasn't there.

“Well, fuck y'all too,” he said with a happy-go-lucky look as he sat back in his chair and crossed his legs.

I was wondering why the mediator hadn't entered the room yet. I wanted out of here fast.

I had to admit, knowing his ass was under investigation for my father's murder, James was holding up well. He looked good in his navy blue Gucci velour sweat suit though.

The bastard was sitting across from us glowing, not a hint of remorse on his face. He musta thought he was going to get away scot-free.

“So, Mona, baby, how are my kids?” he said, looking at her.

She just stared at him as if he wasn't there.

“I know they missed their father.” He paused. “Oh that's right. They still think my old lover over here is their father.”

I was fuming and ready to explode.

“Hey, Aunt Jemima.” He snickered. “How you doing over there?”

I assumed he was talking to my mother. I wasn't going to let him sit here and degrade her right in front of me. “Look mutha—”

My mom put a finger over her mouth, cutting me off. “Don't pay him any mind, baby,” she said, rubbing my back. “He's not worth it.”

I hated that she could be so calm with this homewrecker sitting across from us. I wanted to…to…jump across the counter and kiss him square in the lips. His ass was turning me on, and I wanted him badly.

How in the hell can I hate someone and want to sex them at the same time?

It was official. I was crazy for even thinking about his ass in that way again.
After all that he put us through, I should be putting a hit out on his ass.

The mediator walked in. “How is everybody this morning?” he said, all seriousness on his face.

My mother, Mona, and I just solemnly nodded, but James just had to be James.

“I'm doing fine, Mr. White-man, sir.” He smiled and rocked in his chair. “And they should be too, because I brought sunshine to their dull little lives once again.”

All of our mouths dropped open, except for the mediator's, who didn't look happy with the Mr.
White
-man comment at all.

“My name is Mr. Whitman.”

“Whitman,
Whiteman
, potato,
patata
—That shit is all the same to me,” he snickered.

Again the mediator didn't looked pleased.

“Can we get this show on the road? I got places to be, and people to do.” He glared over at me and smiled.

Oh, man! His ass was pushing his luck!

After a couple seconds of shuffling his papers, Mr. Whitman got down to business. “First, I would like to convey my condolences to your family for your loss. Mr. Black was a great asset to his community and a well-loved man.”

What the fuck? Asset to his community? Yeah. Fuckin' right! This muthafucka must be reading from some kind of script or something.

“Well, let's get right down to business. I'm going to be reading Carl Black's last will and testament: I, Carl Black, of sound mind and body, hereby leave my wife, Brenda Black, the property at 2356 Wilshire Lane. I leave to my only son, Shawn Black, my car note, mortuary cost, and other unpaid debts.

“What the fuck!” I yelled out loud banging my hands against the table and standing up in an outrage. My nose flared, I felt like I was going to breathe fire at any moment.

“Shawn, baby, let him finish,” my mother said, standing with me.

Mona got up as well, trying to console me, but I was as done as a turkey on Thanksgiving Day.

I glanced over at James with disdain and pure hatred. “This is your muthafuckin' fault, bitch!” I yelled, pointing at him. I could care less that my mother was there at all. I couldn't believe this shit.

James just shook his head from side to side.

“Excuse me, Mr. Black, but I need to finish the will before I can close this case.”

I looked over at the wrinkled-ass white man staring back at me. “Fuck you!”

He immediately lowered his head back down toward the will, waiting for me to finish.

“Baby, please.” Mona wiped away a tear that slid down my face as I took my seat, my head lowered in defeat.

“Can I continue?” the mediator asked, a look of fear on his face.

My mom and Mona nodded in approval.

“Finally, I leave the love of my life, James Parks, my insurance policy cash valued at one hundred thousand dollars.”

Before I knew it, I had jumped out of my chair and clear across the table on top of James, knocking him out of the chair and on to the floor. Amazingly, my mom and Mona stayed seated as I tried my best to strangle him. It was like they wanted me to beat his ass.

Two security guards rushed in and started pulling me off James.

“That's a good idea, Shawn. Give the white man something else to talk about us for,” he said, getting up off the floor, and straightening up his appearance.

The guards ushered me outside, with Mona and my mom trailing me. I was fuming. The rational me was gone. I wanted to kill my father again and bury James with him.

I walked to my car with a quick pace, not caring if my mom or wife caught up to me. I sat in my car as they got in and buckled themselves in.

I sped off and quickly dropped my mom off at her home. She kissed me on the cheek and told me to go home and rest. She said that God had it all under control and to leave it in His hands. I didn't disagree with her. I just didn't want to hear that at that moment. I wanted revenge now.

I pulled off and headed home to crawl into bed, hoping this all was a bad dream.

 

I was awakened in the middle of the night, groggy and hungover from the stress of my life. I lifted my head up to see Mona feverishly at work giving me a blowjob, bobbing up and down.

“Hey, baby,” she said, lifting her head up as she noticed I was awake. “I was hoping this would make you feel better.” She continued to work her mouth on my dick.

I sat up and lifted her up as well. I was fully awake now, ready to finish what she started. I unrobed, and so did she.

As we fondled each other, I immediately went to work on her breasts, trying to stuff both of them in my mouth at the same time.

She was laid out in the bed as I laid between her legs and sucked her breasts, making my way down to her womb. I was in need of this release, and I knew she was as well.

I let my tongue do the talking as I parted her pussy lips, and inserted my tongue, flickering at her clit. She moaned and panted as she arched her back as I pulled and tugged lightly on her clit in between my lips, licking it with my tongue at the same time.

Coming to an orgasm, her legs slammed against my head like they had lockjaw, causing me temporary dizziness.

I continued to work at her womb as she thrashed about, releasing her clit and inserting my tongue in her like I was trying to find gold.

She again clamped her legs around my head, coming in my mouth.

I swallowed and went back to work, flipping her over on all fours and proceeding to eat her out from behind. Her face was buried deep in a pillow as I pummeled her pussy, causing another violent orgasm to squirt me in the face.

I wiped off her juices and stroked my dick as I positioned myself behind her and slowly inserted myself.

We had been having sex regularly now, but tonight it felt different. Mona was moaning in ecstasy as if I had entered her for the first time.

I plunged harder and harder as I closed my eyes and moaned and howled her name. “Mona, umm, baby, you working this shit tonight,” I yelled. “Oh, yeah, Mona. Oh, yeah. Oh, God! Yeah! That's it, Mona. That's it. Yeah, right there.”

I was fucking her like crazy. She was yelling. I was yelling. It had to be the best sex we'd ever had.

“Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Fuck me, James!”

“What?” I paused, noticing she had yelled out that muthafucka's name. I jumped up ready to blow a fuse once again.

She just looked at me with fear and regret.

I slowly gathered my things and made my way down the stairs, headed for my office. I closed the door behind me and pushed my desk up against the door, blocking it from being opened.

Mona knocked on the door for at least an hour, but there was no explaining calling out another man's name during sex. Especially James's.

I had no idea what to do, so I stayed away from everyone for as long as I possibly could. But I had to eat, bathe, and urinate, so that lasted all of six hours.

 

When I finally made an appearance, it was Saturday morning, and everyone was at the kitchen table eating break-fast.

“Hi, Daddy,” Diana squealed as she ran up to me and hugged my waist.

I loved my kids, and even though I was going through a rough patch, I tried my best to keep the children out of it.

“Hey, Dad,” Ashley and Alex both greeted me.

I retrieved some orange juice from the refrigerator and sat down at the table. I watched Mona as she busied herself around the kitchen. I knew she knew I was in the kitchen. I also knew she was afraid to look at me.

I couldn't help but wonder if she thought James was a better lover than I was, and how she would have reacted if I'd called out his name during sex.

“Mona, can I have a plate to eat?” I asked as she stood at the stove flipping pancakes.

She filled my plate and placed it in front of me, making sure not to look me in the eyes while doing so.

“Thanks, babe.”

I decided to go ahead and forgive her. I couldn't let James continue to have a hold on my family any longer.

As soon as the kids cleared the kitchen, I made my way over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. “Mona, forget about last night,” I said as I sat my head on her shoulder. “I know it was a mistake. And I won't hold it against you.”

Actually, I was feeling guilty as well. Me locking myself in my office for half the night was a front. I was mad at myself because I was thinking about James as I hit her off last night. I just wanted her to think it was all her, that I was totally over James. Which I wasn't.

She turned around with tears in her eyes and hugged me tightly as I held her back. I wasn't even sure whether I could really forgive her or was just pushing another issue under the rug.

Sunday Service
December 2
^nd
, 2018, 10:04
A.M
.

It was another Sunday morning, and we were on our way to church. BHL (By His Love) Ministries was our home away from home. We had joined the church about five years ago and had been faithful members ever since. Many Sundays, I answered the altar call. Our family needed prayer, and I wasn't in denial about it. With secrets and lies still lurking about, it was truly going to take a miracle for us to survive.

We walked into the sanctuary and made a beeline to our favorite seats. Ashley had made her way to the choir loft, and Alex was a drummer with the band. Diana was too young to join anything as of yet, but I had a feeling she wanted to be on the choir with her big sister. She practically worshiped the ground Ashley walked on.

We had come in just as testimony service had begun. People shared their testimonies of faith and love, while others rejoiced at their victories.

I had to admit, I was a little jealous, because I wanted to share testimony. I was just too afraid of the people and their judging stares.

How could I share the scars of the fresh, painful wounds of my past? My husband was a recovering alcoholic and bisexual. And my children were fathered by the man my husband was sleeping with. Some Sundays I wanted to get up and tell it all and get it out of my system, but I was too ashamed and hurt. I just couldn't live with the looks on the face of my own family. I know there would be a day when I would have to, I just didn't want to believe the truth. It was too painful to bear.

Testimony time came and went as the praise and worship team and Pastor Jonathan Walker made their entrance into the sanctuary. This was a part of the service I loved and could always count on to get the pressures of life out of my mind. The praise team was headed by Malcolm Walker, the pastor's son, an anointed psalmist, I could see him being used by God in a greater magnitude one day.

As the singing began, I felt the spirit of God enter the room, and I was immediately enraptured by His presence. People began to move, and shouts of praise could be heard throughout the sanctuary. All of my pain and frustrations became tears that flooded my face. By the end of the singing and worship, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off me.

Offering time had past, and it was time for the choir to sing a selection. It was Ashley's turn at the mic. I was so elated to hear her sing. Their rendition of “Don't Take Your Joy Away” by Kirk Franklin brought the house into a high ruckus as praise turned into shouts, and those into speaking in tongues and running around the church.

I too couldn't contain my joy as I sprinted around the church a lap or two.

Diana and Shawn just looked in awe as I made my way back to my seat completely exhausted and spiritually filled.

The praise died down as the pastor made his way to the altar and began to pray for the congregation. He went straight into the Word. His title for the sermon was, “The Truth Will Make You Free.”

By the end of the service, I was convinced that, to get my family back in order, it had to be truth and honesty reigning in our household.

After the service ended, we socialized for about fifteen minutes or so and made our way back home.