Gate Wide Open (8 page)

Lights Out
November 2
^nd
, 2018, 10:25
P.M
.

I bobbed and weaved back to my apartment after taking a trip around the corner to the Windy Spirits Liquor Store. I was already intoxicated from early in the morning. It was breezy outside, but I sweated the whole way back to my door. Being an alcoholic does that to you. Drowning my shame and pain with vodka and gin seemed to be working up until a couple of weeks ago. The agony of the way I had been treating my family these last few years was taking a toll that liquor couldn't hide.

I was a seventy-three-year-old fuckup that didn't grow up. I fucked up my son from when he was a child on up. I didn't deserve him. I knew it. I didn't deserve my wife, when I had her, either. It was too late to make amends, but I still wanted to. Yeah, I was sorry. But, how does one apologize for solely screwing up their family? I was too far gone, I figured. All of these things flooded my old mind as I made my way in the building and rode the elevator up to my apartment.

I leaned up against my apartment door, my head pressed hard against it, and cried like a baby. It was long overdue. Too late, you might say. The opportunity to do right had sailed years ago.

I managed to fumble in my pockets for my keys and hold on to my only true friend wrapped up in a brown paper bag. Even James had kicked me to the curb. I knew he was using me, but he was being used by me as well. He was a warm body at night. A convenience. And now he was gone too. No son, no wife, no James.

“Just me and you.” I looked at my bottle of vodka as if it could talk. In a couple of minutes it would, to my liver, that is.

Turns out, my door was already unlocked. I must left it unlocked when I rushed out in a hurry to get to the store. My door swung open with force as I used it as leverage to hold me up. I almost hit the floor, but I gathered myself just in time. I managed to close it and staggered to my kitchen, which was only a few feet away, to grab me a cup.

The lights were out, but I could navigate like I was Ray Charles, especially to get my “taste” in a cup, and down my throat as quickly as possible. I reached the kitchen and opened the cabinet. Not a clean cup in sight. I went through the dishes in the sink and grabbed the cleanest one I could find. I poured me a quick shot, to add to my already lingering buzz, and quickly threw it back.

That's when I felt a blow to the side of my head.

Pow!
Then another blow.
Pow!

I fell against my stove, and another blow came, sending me downward. I tried to grab hold of something to stop my fall, but it was useless. It was a no-win situation, though I still managed to have my vodka firmly in hand.

“Where is James?” the intruder barked.

“Who?” I muttered. The blows had shaken up my mind. I wasn't sure who I was at the moment.

“You know who, muthafucka!” He towered over me with what looked like a bat in hand.

I lifted my hand to my head and felt the blood flowing freely. I started to panic. “I—I—I don't know where he—”

He kicked me in the ribs.

“Ugh!”

“Stop lying, muthafucka! I know he was here.” The intruder knelt down beside me.

I couldn't make out his face, because I hadn't managed to cut the light on in the kitchen when I'd come in. Only a little light from the small window over the stove gave light to the room. And that was little. He was a rather large dude, and his hot breath showed that he wasn't playing with me. He was breathing fast and erratic.

“I'm giving you one mo' chance to get this right, pops!”

“I swear, he left me a couple of hours ago, and I haven't seen him since.” My heart was racing. I was a healthy old man, but a heart attack felt like it was coming.

“Ummm-hmm.”

I couldn't tell if he believed me, but the knife he plunged in my stomach gave me the answer.

“I hate liars!” he breathed out. He picked up my body and dragged me to my bedroom.

It was dark in there as well. I was in excruciating pain, but I felt him tying me up to the bed. I didn't know what he was doing or going to do, but I knew it wasn't going to end good for me.

He flicked on the light in the room, causing me to shudder and try to adjust my eyes to the light. He had on a mask, but I could see the hate in his eyes.

Whatever he was angry about had nothing to do with me, but he was going to take it out on me for sure. He pulled out several knives and a gun. He made his way to the bed, yanked down my pants, and smiled before jamming a long, jagged knife into my groin. That was the last thing I felt.

Girls' Day Out
November 5
^th
, 2018, 9:29
A.M
.

I woke up this morning in a very chipper, upbeat mood. The sun was shining, and the birds were singing their songs. Shawn was still sleeping in, and I had a very busy day ahead of me. Shawn opted to stay out of the planning of this event, saying it was women's work.

But I knew different. He didn't want to upstage me again. See, what most people didn't know was that Shawn had arranged our wedding. He refused to let people know that it was him, because he had to protect his precious manhood. He said if his boys found out that he was “décor inclined” they wouldn't let a day go by without teasing him.

I was ready to start planning the anniversary/renewal party, and nothing could stop me. I enlisted the help of two shining stars, Ashley and Diana, to help me go out and shop for the decorations, caterer, and for various other tasks.

Diana was all go, but I could see that Ashley was in her own world, like her brother. She was always over one of her girlfriends' houses studying, so I knew I'd have to drag her to the car.
If she wasn't an A student, I would suspect foul play.

It was about nine thirty in the morning, and I wanted to get going. I peeked in Diana's room, and she wasn't in there. I was so glad that she was such an independent little girl at the age of ten. I knew she was probably already downstairs eating a bowl of cereal and watching the Disney Channel until I was ready to leave the house.

I peeked into Ashley's room, and sure enough, she was knocked out. I walked up to her bed and gently shook her until she was awake.

“What, Ma?” she said with an attitude. She rolled back over and pulled the covers over her unkempt hair.

“Excuse me?” I said with a little more attitude. She must have forgotten I was an adult. I snatched the covers off. “Let's make it!” I said with a tone that meant business. My mom used that statement with me when she absolutely wasn't accepting any rebuttals. “We have to leave the house in forty-five minutes, so get dressed and let's go.”

I left her room, headed back to mine. I needed to shower and get dressed as well. She must have forgotten that she was supposed to help me with all the arrangements today. Shawn had given me a good budget to spend, and I was going to do it up my way the second time around.

I showered and dressed in thirty minutes flat and made my way down the stairs for a light breakfast. I bypassed Diana in the living room, and she was entertaining herself as usual, like I assumed she'd be.

I walked in the kitchen and noticed Ashley on her cell phone talking in a hushed tone. She didn't even hear me when I came in because she was so engrossed with her conversation. I stood in the doorway and eavesdropped.

“Sure, baby. I want to see you too, Tony, baby,” she whispered in the phone. “As soon as I take care of some stuff wit' my moms, I'ma hit you up, okay. I'll try and ditch her by one o'clock…All right, boo. Love you, too.”

I made my way to the refrigerator, startling her in the process.

“Oh! Hey, Ma,” she said as she swiftly put her phone in her pocket. “How long were you standing there?”

“Long enough to want to know who Tony is.” I looked her dead in the eyes, one hand resting on my waist.

“Oh. Ah, Tony is just a friend, Ma.”

I knew she was lying. As a child I could tell when she was being dishonest because she would get this silly smirk on her face that always told on her.

“So do you say, ‘I love you,' to all your friends, Ashley?”

She looked at me sideways because whenever I said one of my children's names in a statement, they knew I was on to them. After going though all that I had gone through with Shawn over the last couple of years, I couldn't stand being lied to by anyone, especially my family.

“No, Ma,” she said, her head hanging down.

“Look, Ashley, I really don't have a problem with you having a boyfriend. It's when you lie to me about things like this that really makes me mad. You kids know you can come to us about anything. Your father and I always told you that we would always have an open mind when it came to our children.”

I gathered my purse and my list of things to do.

“So when will we meet this boyfriend of yours?”

“Ma, Tony is kinda shy.”

“Okay, Ashley, whenever you are ready to introduce him, just let me know, so we can do it as a family.”

“Okay,” she said, getting up and following me as I made my way out to the car.

We traveled to Marley Station Mall, Columbia Mall, and made a special trip to Security Square Mall that day. I slowly took my time just to see how Ashley was going to react. She pouted and groaned as I made my way down each aisle. I could care less. I was in charge, and if she thought for a second she could ditch me, she was dead wrong.

I purposely asked her input on each arrangement and color scheme, knowing she really didn't want to be with me and Diana. I was a little shocked at her sassy little attitude. I was starting to see a totally different side, a side she got from me, I have to say. She was a strong-willed, yet naïve adolescent.

I finally let her go on her merry way about five o' clock. I dropped her off at Owings Mills subway station, and she scurried into the station and disappeared. I drove off with a smile on my face because I loved spending time with my girls all alone, even if they didn't fully cooperate with it.

I wanted to teach them the value of family and bonding, schooling them on the birds and the bees and things of that nature while riding in the car when it was just us girls. Ashley would squirm and moan as I gave her lessons in feminine hygiene, but I knew she was better off getting it from me than some girl in her class who was still learning things herself.

As we pulled up to the house, I called the house phone to get Alex out to the car to help me with the bags. Like a good son, he came and scooped up the bags, and I made my way into the house along with Diana in tow, who hurried to her room to play with some new Bratz dolls I had bought her, leaving me and Alex to ourselves.

“Dag, Ma, you guys sure went crazy wit' all this shopping and stuff.” Alex laughed as he carried the loaded bags toward our living room. “Y'all sure the malls got enough stuff left for their other customers?”

Pop!
I playfully smacked him upside the head. “Boy, mind yo business.”

I was cut short by the phone ringing.

“Hey, Momma Black,” I said with a smile. I was always so happy to hear from my mother-in-law. I was as close to her as I was to my mom.

“Is Shawn home, Mona?”

She sounded like she was crying. I'd never heard Shawn's mom crying, so I knew something was wrong. “Is everything okay, Ma?” I said, concern in my voice. “He's not here right now. He's at work, but I can click over and call him on three-way.”

I did so. When she spilled the beans, I was in complete shock. This news was so unexpected, I had to take a seat on the chair. Tears flowed from my eyes, and my mouth hung open in disbelief as I sat on the living room chair.

All I could think about was how Shawn was handling this news, because his response was just, “Okay,” and he hung up the phone.

Sponsorship
November 6
^th
, 2018, 11:53
A.M
.

I decided to give the Black family and myself a break. Like a television show needed commercials to pay for their airtime, I needed me a new sponsor to fund my life. My money was halfway gone, and I quickly needed to find me somebody with some deep pockets. I decided to cruise around Kenny's old stomping ground. After only about five minutes of driving, I spotted my new trick-and-treat, which was what I called them, because after I tricked them out, they would treat me to anything I wanted. Most people would say I was selling my body, but the way I saw it, it was simply a case of supply and demand. I was supplying what the community damn sure demanded.

I pulled up to the side of the curb and heard somebody yell, “Got that Ray Charles.”

I couldn't believe they was giving crack cocaine names now. I laughed to myself because the thought of a crackhead chasing something that could make him high and blind blew my mind.

I ignored the drug calls and focused my attention on a dude posted up on his porch like he was just an average homeowner. I honked my horn and yelled, “Aye, yo!” as manly as I could.

It worked because he slowly rose up and made his way to the car. He was about the same height as I was. He had that hung-like-a-muthafucka walk, caramel-colored skin, and a couple of tattoos that flowed down his small but muscular arms. His dreads were neatly placed in a ponytail, and his face was shaped up, with a goatee to match.

His eyes said, “Fuck wit' me if you want,” as he walked up to my car.

My kind of nigga
. Trying my best to keep my eyes above his waist, I eyed him up and down like he was a hot, tempting treat.

Looking at another brotha's crotch is a sure way to get yo ass sent to Bon Secours Hospital intensive care unit with a busted rib cage and some more shit. Not that it's ever happened to me, but I'd heard stories of guys getting beat down for approaching a dude that was legitimately straight.

“What's up, main man?” I said, putting on a superb around-the-way-gangsta act. “I'm tryin'-a get work. How can I be down?”

“Depends,” he said, looking me up and down.

I couldn't figure out if he liked what he saw, or if he took me for a cop or something. “Depends on what?” I asked, partially knowing the drug game.

See, I did have the privilege of listening in on some of Kenny's conversations while he was making drug transactions over the phone a couple of times. He'd even answered a couple of my questions after some of our sexual exploits. I'd learned a long time ago that asking a question is free and the knowledge that you get from asking could be very valuable in the future.

“Depends on who you know!” His face was still as stern as it was when he'd walked up to my car. This brotha was about his business. If he was trying to holla at me, I couldn't tell, and I was an expert.

“I'm a friend of Kenny. I was in the joint wit' him. He told me to get at you if I needed any work when I got out.” I marveled at myself because even I was impressed with what I was spitting.

“Man, that's all I needed to hear,” he said, his hard exterior softening. “Let's take a ride around the block, so we can talk”

I unlocked the passenger door, he hopped in, and I pulled off.

Wallace hadn't the slightest clue I was playing his ass. When I was locked up, word got back to me that he'd helped Kenny's baby mama, Keisha, set him up for some extra dough. I was going to use him to get Keisha back and get me some more dough in the process. From the looks of him, he was dressed like an average joe, you know. Nothing flashy, but just enough to keep the girls hollering at him.

“Yo, what they call you?” he asked me.

“James.” I decided to give him my real name. I was getting tired of being two different people. That shit was exhausting.

“So how did you know Kenny?”

“Oh, we just served some time together.” I lied.

He said, “Oh, okay,” like he didn't believe me. “So what you get locked up for?”

His ass sure was nosy. I shrugged it off because I would be too if I was in the position he was in. “Attempted murder.”

“Oh, okay,” he said again, like he wasn't believing me one bit.

After a few seconds of silence, he burst out in laughter. “Man, you's a straight-up liar,” he said, a big smile plastered on his face.

He caught me off guard. I was totally dumbfounded now.

“Look, man, let me be straight wit' you. I know all about you and Kenny.”

“Excuse me!” I said, faking a serious look on my face. I was shocked, to say the least.

“Yeah, I know you and Kenny was fuckin'. We was fuckin' too.”

“What!” I pulled over to the side of the road to get myself together. “Y'all was what?”

“Man, stop actin' all surprised and shit…like you was the only one. Who you think he was goin' to Club Bunz wit'?”

My mouth continued to hang open as he dropped another bomb on me.

“Yeah. And I was the one who helped his baby mama set Kenny up too. She didn't know we was fuckin' either. And the only reason I helped her set him up was to get him out the way so I could get at you.”

“Really?” I said now, a smile on my face. A nigga always liked to feel wanted. My ass was really cheesing now.

“Yeah, man. I been trying to get wit' you the first time I saw you pick him up off the block a couple of times. A fine-ass nigga like you is a hot commodity on the streets.” His hand now made its way over to my lap, and he was squeezing my thigh.

I instantly became aroused, and from the looks of things, he was as well. And just like I thought, he was well hung. Shit, his dick was halfway down his thigh.

“Hold up,” he said. “We need to go back to my place and finish this.”

“Look, before we go anywhere, I got one question for you,” I said with a serious expression on my face. “You got any baby mamas chasing you or some shit?”

“Nah, man.” He laughed. “I'm strictly dickly.”

With that said, he gave me the directions to his place, and I pulled off in hopes of some mind-blowing sex.

 

About twenty minutes later, we arrived at his condominium-style apartment, The Avalon, located in Pikesville. It was a gated community, so I knew he had to be loaded with money. He gave me the code to punch in the keypad. I made a mental note to remember the number, just in case I needed it later.

As we pulled up to his apartment building, he told me to park next to an all-black Bentley. We both got out, and he took his keys out and pressed the button, popping the trunk to the extravagant piece of machinery. He removed what looked like a duffel bag full of laundry. But I knew it had to be something like cash or dope.

“That's a nice whip you got.” I could imagine me flexing in it someday just to go to the market.

“Yeah, man, I just bought it last month. I drive me a Honda or Toyota around the hood just to fool the young'uns that might wanna try me or something.”

I just nodded my head. I could have cared less about that shit. My mind was clouded by dollar signs. I was gonna have to step my game up because this nigga was ballin' better than Kenny ever was.

We made our way up to his apartment, and my mind went crazy as we entered. He had a short marble vestibule that had swirls of cream and chocolate. He dropped his keys on an ivory and tan table with gold trimming.

Just as I was about to step on the plush carpet, he instructed me to take off my shoes, because he didn't want to track anything on it. He did the same then told me to take a seat while he went into his kitchen to get us something to drink.

I admired his wall-to-wall chocolate-carpeted living room as I sat in the chocolate and tan, suede-and-leather sectional, which was soft to the touch, and felt good on my skin as I made myself comfortable. He had a fireplace that had a traditional mantle, with various pictures of family members spread across.

I got up and walked around the room, my feet feeling like they were on clouds, to look at his CD collection and other things on his entertainment center. He had a nice collection. gospel, jazz, R&B, neo-soul, rock.

I made my way back around to his mantle and looked at some of his family members. My eyes bugged out my socket as one of the pictures had a guy in it that looked a lot like one of my exes.
This shit must run in his family.

“You ready?” Wallace came up behind me and surprised me. He pressed his dick against my ass as he licked the back of my neck like an ice cream sundae, sending shivers down my spine and causing the blood to flow to my third leg.

“Ummm.”

He handed me a glass of red wine, which I threw back in one swoop, gulping it down, because I was long overdue for some good, old-fashioned fucking.

He moved his coffee table out of the way and made room on the floor in front of the fireplace. He had a remote control that controlled everything in his living room, so before long, there was a fire going and the sweet sounds of Mario's “Let Me Love You” filled the air, setting the mood.

He slowly and methodically removed my clothes piece by piece as well as his own. I marveled at the toned yet aged masculine Adonis that sat across from me, and my dick instantly swelled in throbbing pleasure. We immediately started kissing, letting our tongues do the talking for us.

After about ten minutes of kissing, we both made our way down to each other's manhood and devoured it whole. The sound of slurping and moaning was now in rhythmic competition with the music in the background.

He then laid me on my back and made his way down to my puckering asshole that awaited his attention. He dove in like he was eating watermelon at a summer family feast. He was licking the crack of my ass from my back all the way to the tip of my dick.

I lifted my ass off the floor and thrust it toward him. “Oh, yeah!” I moaned. “That's the spot right thereeeeeee.”

I needed my ass pounded like never before. “Fuck me now!” I commanded. I watched as he placed a Magnum XL condom on his pulsating muscle. I turned over, because doggy-style would let me get every inch of his dick in me.

He slowly pushed himself in me. But taking one's time wasn't my method, so I forcefully pushed back, letting his dick fill me up. He immediately got the hint and took over, pounding my ass like a jackhammer hitting concrete.

I was loving every minute, whimpering and moaning, “Ahh! Yeah, daddy! Take this ass. It's all yours.”

He pulled up and placed me against the wall, placing my arms and legs over his shoulders, pressing me against the wall hard. It was a painful position, but it was soon replaced with pleasure.

He fucked me like he was trying to go through the wall. With every pump, I yelped in pleasure. This too was going down in the record books as one of my best sexual positions.

He punished me for another good ten minutes before he erupted, and we collapsed on his floor, panting for air. I didn't even realize I nutted on myself, because he was fucking me so hard.

He nibbled on my ear as he whispered other ways and places he wanted to fuck me. Then he scooped me up and carried me to the shower. Mind you, he was the same size I was.

It was still unbelievable how tender he was. I'd learned that men on the down low are some of the most giving people you could ever meet. Yet, on any given day, you probably would see a dude like him beating a crackhead down for shorting him or trying to con him. It was like dealing with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

We both washed up, and afterward, he showed me to his master suite.

Once again, I was shocked at how his taste was exquisitely on point. Everything in his apartment was earth-toned with combinations of brown, cream, tan, and black. I was truly fascinated by his sense of style, and sexual prowess as a thug lover.

He'd told me to make myself comfortable. He just didn't know how much so. I was going to milk him dry.

I walked around his large sleeping chamber, taking in all of the beautiful art work strategically mounted along his walls. He had naked men entangled in all types of positions. Some just nude, others racy. He even had a wide selection of gay porn. I knew his boys didn't know he had a side like this to him. Then again, who knows how many of his boys probably participated in this lifestyle?

He was still naked when he came back in the room with wine flutes and fruit on a platter, his dick swinging from side to side like an elephant's trunk. I was again aroused just by the sight, as I lay spread out in his king-size bed on the softest sheets I had ever laid on.

He eased his way on to the bed, smiling from ear to ear. He picked up his remote control from the nightstand beside the bed and chimed on his wall-mounted digital music player, which was next to his plasma television.

Aaliyah's “One in a Million” serenaded us as he slowly fed me. The song was one of my favorites, and I truly knew I was one in a million. Nobody could tell me different.

After we finished off the fruit tray, our refreshed bodies once again became inseparable magnets. I then pleasured him like only I could.

I should have gotten the “Nobel Piece Prize,” because I knew how to milk a nigga's piece dry. After I made him cum on my face. He then bent over, pushing his ass as high in the air as it could go.

That's what the fuck I'm talking about
. I love a brotha who could give it good and take it even better. My dick wasn't as big as his, but I could tell he was enjoying himself, from the way he moaned and groaned, telling me not to stop.

We again collapsed on the bed and snuggled as he held me from behind. As we both drifted off to sleep, I could smell the sweet faint fragrance of sandalwood on his pillows. He had every base covered. I loved it.

 

I woke up to an empty bed. I looked around the room for a clock and noticed it was going on eight o clock in the evening. Wallace was gone, and there was a note on the pillow where his head once was.