Geis of the Gargoyle (13 page)

"Mundania," Surprise said.

"The talent of summoning things from Mundania," Iris said, pretending a calmness she probably didn't feel.
 
"A rug, with whatever happened to be on it.
 
This surely explains why Mundanes are always losing their socks.
 
But this isn't what I was thinking of, dear."

"Oh." The carpet and socks vanished.
 
"What did you mean?"

"Why a magic carpet, of course." Then Iris caught herself.
 
"But don't-"

"Magic carpet!" Surprise exclaimed brightly as her eyes crossed.
 
A carpet appeared, floating at about knee level.

"Can we trust it?" Gary asked warily.

Iris peered closely at it.
 
"This seems to be the Good Magician's carpet; I recognize it.
 
It is quite trustworthy.
 
But we should return it-after we're done with it." She sat on the edge of the carpet, and it bowed down a bit with her weight, then firmed in place.
 
She lifted her legs, swung them onto the carpet, and tucked her skirt closely around them.
 
"Get on.
 
I'll hold you.
 
Surprise."

Gary climbed onto the back of the carpet and drew up his knees in the manner Iris had.
 
His impulse had been to crouch on it, gargoyle style, but this human form just wasn't suited for that.
 
The little giri sat on the woman's lap, approximately, and his held her in place with her arms.

"Carpet, rise slowly," Iris commanded it.
 
The carpet responded, lifting somewhat in the manner of the elevator, until it floated above the trees.
 
Gary wondered what it would have done if she hadn't cautioned it to be slow.
 
They might have slid off the back as it zoomed forward.

"Carpet, proceed in moderate manner to Castle Zombie," Iris said.
 
And the carpet turned and moved smoothly south.

Gary had never been partial to heights, because a bad fall could crack stone, but discovered that he felt secure on the carpet.
 
Its magic held him in place without confining him, so there was no danger of falling off.
 
He saw the trees passing below, and then the Gap Chasm, and then more trees, with crisscrossing paths through the forest and occasional fields.
 
Xanth was interesting, viewed from above.
 
He tried to spy where they had walked before, but couldn't see the invisible bridge, and wasn't sure which particular trails were the ones.
 
He couldn't even be sure which particular jag from the Gap they had crossed, after dumping the Blatant Beaste.
 
But it was fun looking.

Before long a castle came into view ahead.
 
It looked somewhat slimy, and its stones were greenish, and its moat was clogged with gook.
 
Obviously this was Castle Zombie.

They landed before the drawbridge and got off.
 
"Carpet, go home," Iris told it, and the carpet took off smoothly without riders, spiraled into the sky, and headed northeast.
 
"That was a useful thing to summon," Iris informed Surprise.
 
"When all your magic is that helpful to others, you will be ready to go home."

"But I was starting to get bored," Surprise said, pouting.

Gary realized that the ride had been more chancy than it had felt.
 
If she had done some mischief, such as summoning a basilisk to join them on the rug, it would have become dangerously interesting.
 
This adventure probably had most of its complications still ahead.

Iris took the child's hand and marched forward across the decrepit planking of the drawbridge.
 
Gary hesitated, uncertain whether it would support the weight of stone.
 
Iris glanced back, saw him-and abruptly the drawbridge assumed the look of a fine stout iron and stone bridge.
 
He knew it was illusion, but it helped.
 
He followed them across.

A zombie guard challenged them at the portcullis.
 
"Whoo?" he demanded, moving his rotting arms to bring a rotting spear into play.

"Gee," Surprise said, thrilled.
 
"A real zombie."

"Let me handle this, dear," Iris murmured quickly.
 
Then, to the guard: "Queen Emeritus Sorceress Iris to see Millie the Ghost."

In a moment a surprisingly appealing older woman came out.
 
"Iris?" she asked.
 
"You don't look like-"

"Like this, Millie?" Iris asked, clothing herself with illusion so as to appear her real age.

"Iris!" Millie exclaimed.
 
"It is you! What a wonderful surprise.
 
I thought you had gone to a fade-out party."

"I did, along with Magician Trent, Bink, Chameleon, Crombie, and Jewel the Nymph.
 
But there was a complication."

"There must have been," Millie said.
 
"Come in, and we'll catch up on everything.
 
Who is your friend? And you have a child with you, too!"

They joined Millie, who was clearly no ghost, in her nice apartment, which was free of the rot elsewhere in the castle.
 
Surprise played with a zombie werewolf, changing forms herself to match him.
 
That seemed to be as good a diversion as any, so Gary and Iris studiously ignored it.

Iris quickly explained about how their fade-out party, which had been intended to see them fade gracefully from the current Xanth scene so it wouldn't be cluttered by too many old folk, had been postponed.
 
Gloha Goblin-Harpy was on a quest in search of a suitable husband, she being the only crossbreed of her kind, so Magician Trent had been designated to help and protect her until she found her man.
 
Since ninety-six was too old for adventure, he had been youthened, and his subsequent story of that adventure had convinced her to try it too.
 
So now she was performing her service for the youthening by helping Gary Gargoyle tutor Surprise.
 
"But we need to consult with Hiatus," she concluded.
 
"We hoped he would be here."

"Oh, he is," Millie said somewhat sadly.
 
"But he lacks ambition in life.
 
Something is missing; there's no continuity.
 
I'm not sure how much help he will be to you."

Iris pursed her lips.
 
"The Good Magician's ploys act in devious ways," she said.
 
"Do you suppose that we represent some kind of encouragement for him?"

"I wonder," Millie said, turning hopeful.
 
"I really fear there is no cure for him, but it would be wonderful if he were to take an interest in marrying and having grandchildren, the way his sister Lacuna did, after suffering emptiness in her life.
 
At least you can talk with him."

"At least we can," Iris agreed.
 
Gary wondered what Hiatus' problem was, and hoped it wouldn't make it impossible for him to help them find the philter.

Millie sent a zombie to call Hiatus.
 
Soon he appeared: a tousle-haired man nearing forty, looking morose.
 
Millie introduced the others, except for Surprise, who was conjuring miniature zombie animals and setting them to running around the floor; by mutual silent consent they let her be.
 
"Perhaps you should tell them your story, dear," Millie suggested in a kindly tone.

"Are they interested?" Hiatus asked listlessly.
 
Gary knew that the man would never be of any use in the quest if they didn't understand his problem.
 
"Yes." So Hiatus sat in the remaining chair and began to speak.

5 HIATUS

I was a wild child, and my twin sister Lacuna was mischievous, and together we drove our mother wild.
 
She was Millie the Ghost, who was a ghost no more but preferred that title to "Zombie." None of us were zombies, of course, but she was the wife and we were the children of the Zombie Master, so folk tended to assume that we had at least some zombie ooze in us.
 
The truth was that Millie was one of Xanth's most lovely women, or had been before my sister and I wore her down.
 
We were a severe interruption to the steady course of her current life, and we disrupted whatever we encountered.

Lacuna's talent was to form print on anything, such as walls or blankets or even to superimpose it on existing print, changing the text of a printed page.
 
Of course her print faded out when she lost her concentration, doing no harm, but it could be quite mischievous on occasion.
 
Such as when she made the words KICK ME form on the rear end of a fat man as he bent to pick up a heavy rock, in the presence of a literal-minded zombie.
 
My talent was to grow temporary organs on various surfaces, such as eyes, ears, or noses, on windows, treetrunks, or rocks.
 
I never quite understood why some adults got so upset when one of my noses sprouted and sniffed audibly as they walked by, or when one of my eyes formed on the ceiling or floor and peered down a lady's blouse or up under her skirt and winked.
 
It was just good clean fun.
 
But somehow Lacuna and I were not too popular at formal occasions like weddings or funerals.
 
Today I can appreciate why-but today I am considerably more experienced and responsible than

I was as a child.

I don't remember exactly what it was I did on the particular day I'm thinking of, but I'm sure in retrospect that my mother was justified in screeching me out of the house and slamming the door.
 
I was then eleven or twelve years old, and thought that all Xanth owed me entertainment.
 
Outraged by her overreaction to an innocent prank, I decided to run away from home.
 
So I called Doofus, our zombie dragon, and climbed on his back and told him to gallop as far away as he could.
 
Doofus wasn't smart-few zombies are, because their heads are filled mostly with disgusting goo-but his legs and back were strong, so he galloped off in the direction he happened to be facing at the time, which was sloppily southeast.
 
I didn't care; I just wanted to get so far away that I could never be found.

But after a time Doofus began to slow.
 
"What, are you getting tired already?" I demanded.
 
He just snorted some soggy smoke.
 
I realized that he was under standing orders not to go too far from Castle Zombie, so as he approached the limit of his territory, he lost momentum.
 
I could not override those orders, for they had been impressed on him by my father the Zombie Master himself, and all zombies owed their ultimate allegiance to him.
 
Doofus obeyed me only so long as my directives did not conflict with those that were more deeply entrenched.
 
Finally the dragon stopped entirely.
 
Disgusted, I got off him.
 
"All right, go home then, you rotten creature!" I yelled.
 
He obeyed immediately, and galloped off in the approximate direction of home.

I was left alone in a strange forest.
 
I looked around, my anger fading into something like apprehension.
 
I knew that strange places were dangerous.
 
All I saw were trees, and some rocks and rolls, each rock rolling around and banging into things so that there was a series of loud sounds as each roll rocked with the vibrations.
 
Well, that was better than nothing; I went to grab one of the rolls, being hungry.
 
But its rock got in my way, threatening to squish my fingers, and I had to leave the roll alone.

I heard some music, and hoped that there might be some people there.
 
But when I made my way through the forest, I discovered that the music was coming from another collection of rocks.
 
Or rather from the way they were being eaten; a very nice-looking animal was grazing on them, probably a dear, and with each bite the rocks popped, making attractive music.
 
But I wasn't sure I was ready to eat pop rocks, however tasty they might be to the dear.