Getting Close to the Omega (7 page)

upset you.”

Matthew raised his head, and gently tilted Dean’s head up so

they were looking squarely at each other. “I’m not upset with

you, little one,” he whispered so quietly that Dean almost

didn’t hear him. “I’m upset with what’s happened to you, in

your past, when I know I wasn’t around to even think about

protecting you. But that’s not your fault, or mine. I just hate

the thought of abuse of any kind and I hope one day you will

tell me about it, so we can both get past it.”

Dean had never thought that both he and a potential mate

would have to get past the abuse he went through in his home

pack. He thought it was something he had to get through by

himself. Of course, because he hadn’t provided any actual

details, Matthew could just be thinking he had been raped

once, or something. He wasn’t too sure that he wanted to have

that discussion any time soon. But it looked like his mate

wasn’t dropping the matter.

“Is this why you don’t want a mate, little one,” Matthew said,

and Dean’s heart gave a little leap at Matthew’s apparent pet

name for him. He loved it. “Is your abuse,” poor Matthew was

clearly struggling over that word, “the reason you don’t think

we can have a future together?”

Not knowing quite what to say about that, Dean resorted to

looking out of the window of the SUV. He knew he desperately

wanted to get home and shut himself in his room again, but if

he didn’t answer Matthew’s question, then the man would think

that he didn’t want to mate with him, and he did.

Oh wow. Clarification hitting his brain like the tsunami that hit

him before, but with a lot more positive results, Dean

acknowledged to himself and his wolf that he did want

Matthew. How he would go with the logistics of it all, well, he

wasn’t sure about that, but he did know that as they were both

wolves, his wolf would accept Matthew, even if he as a human

did have a few reservations about the whole sex thing. And for

the first time in six years he really wanted to get over that

problem.

“I do want you Matthew,” He said, trying to make his voice as

confident as possible. “It’s just I haven’t been near another

man sexually for six years. And I have issues being naked with

other people, cos…well…I’ve got some scars.” Dean stopped

and then pushed himself to go on, because if he didn’t he

would never forgive himself. “I would understand if you didn’t

want to be mated to someone with so many hang-ups.”

Matthew was quiet for the longest time, and Dean lay there in

his mate’s arms, for what he realized could be the last time. He

had no urge to move off, although he felt maybe he should.

But if this was going to be the last chance he could enjoy the

heat and safety of this man’s body, then he was going to milk

it until the very last minute.

/~/~/~/~/

Matthew was battling with himself. He knew he had to say

something because he could feel by the slump in Dean’s body

that his little mate expected him to reject him. And he wasn’t,

so he really should say so. But he was afraid that if he opened

his mouth all his anger at how someone could hurt what had to

have been a teenage wolf, would come spewing out. And Dean

didn’t deserve to put up with his crap. The man was so sweet.

Matthew didn’t even want to think about how Dean might have

got his scars. What made his blood boil was that his mate was

clearly self-conscious about it. Shifter’s never worried about

nudity, ever. And then Matthew was wondering how Dean

coped with shifting and things like that. Maybe he did it indoors

or something, but then how could he open doors in his wolf

form?

Realizing he was getting off track, and Dean was still waiting

for an answer, Matthew chanced a look at Dean’s face. The

man was showing no emotion in his facial expression, his body

was deathly still, but tears were tracking slowly down his face.

Feeling like he had been punched in the guts at the sight of

those tears, Matthew carefully ran his finger along the track

marks, wiping the dampness from his mate’s face. “Don’t ever

doubt that I want you,” he said forcing Dean to meet his eyes.

“I want you even if you never allow me to touch you beyond

what we are doing now. I want you no matter what you look

like under those clothes, or how long you make me wait. All I

ask,” and he knew as he formed the words in his head, that

they were true, “is that when you are ready, you let me bite

you, so that everyone will know that you are mine. And I will

want you to bite me because I will be so proud when I am

yours.”

“But if we bite each other…then…well, you know…and if I

can’t…then you won’t be able to…and that’s just not fair to

you,” Dean burst out, his brow creased with worry, and it

warmed Matthew’s heart because he knew it was worry for

him.

Matthew guessed exactly what Dean’s garble meant. If they

claimed each other with a bite, then neither one of them would

be able to get a hard on for anyone else but each other. With

Dean unsure as to whether or not he could go through with

sex, and Matthew knew they were going to have to discuss that

in a bit more detail, but he didn’t want them in the car when

that happened, he could see why Dean was so anxious on his

behalf.

“Dean,” he said, cupping the face he knew he was going to love

with every fiber of his being. “I am over 120 years old. I have

had sex, often, I won’t deny that, and I’m not telling you that

to upset you. I’m being honest with you. But for more than fifty

years that sex hasn’t meant anything to me at all. It has left

me feeling empty inside, because there were no feelings

involved, so honestly I’m not worried about whether or not you

will put out.”

“What I do want to do,” he said, staring into those

mesmerizing grey eyes, “is protect you, keep you safe, have

you cook some delicious food for me once in a while, and sleep

in my bed with me at night. And I want us to talk. I would like

us to explore what you might be comfortable doing with me.

You didn’t mind when I kissed you, did you?”

His sweet little mate blushed and damn if Matthew didn’t think

that was the cutest thing ever. “I really liked your kisses, and I

think I probably will want to do a lot more than that, but I’m

just scared to try. It’s been a really long time, and I haven’t

got a clue how it is supposed to feel. I’d hate to freak out on

you and upset you. But I honestly want to try.”

Matthew did smile then, because it was so sweet that all Dean

was worried about was upsetting him. After all the crap his

little wolf had gone through, Dean had to be the kindest, most

caring shifter he had ever met. “Okay,” he said. “Here’s what

we are going to do. I’m going to kiss you, because I really

would like to. Then you are going to hop back in your seat so

we can get back to the pack house. After that, we will find the

time to sit down and talk, just the two of us, and you can

explain what you will be comfortable with so we can claim each

other. Does that sound acceptable to you?”

“It sounds very formal,” Dean said with a giggle, “And a lot

more organized than my thought processes are, and yes, that

is fine with me.”

It seemed like the whole pack was waiting for them when they

got back to Kane’s house. Matthew knew he should have felt

guilty for not getting Dean back sooner, but he wasn’t going to

regret the talk they had, or the kisses, which probably went on

a bit longer than either one of them had thought they would.

There was something amazingly sensual about just kissing and

Matthew struggled to think of a time when he had enjoyed so

much intimacy with anyone, especially with his clothes on.

“Dean, are you all right? We’ve all been worried about you,”

Kane said, as soon as they walked into the lounge.

Dean blushed, and Matthew jumped in quickly. He didn’t think

anybody had the right to make Dean feel uncomfortable,

especially with what he had just been through. “It was my fault

we were delayed, Alpha,” he said, meeting Kane’s eyes just

briefly before looking back at Dean. “Dean and I had some

things to talk about, and I wanted to make sure he didn’t have

any after effects from whatever they drugged him with, before

bringing him home.”

“He smells like you,” Jax sneered, from his posse on the couch.

“Seems to me you were doing more than checking his health.”

To Matthew’s surprise, Dean turned around and glared at Jax.

“Matthew is my mate, so if smelling him on me bothers you

then get over it.”

Jax looked stunned, but didn’t say anything else.

“That’s fair enough, Dean,” Kane interjected, “but you had to

know we would be worried about you. I can also appreciate you

want to spend some time with Matthew, but can you sit and tell

us everything you do remember so we can try and see if we

are dealing with the same threat as before. How did you get

taken in the first place if Matthew was with you?”

“I was in the diner paying for lunch,” Matthew explained stiffly,

wanting to hug Dean to his chest because his mate looked so

worried. “Dean went out to wait in the vehicle, but…”

“But I missed feeling the sun on my face and instead of getting

in the wagon, I was leaning on the hood enjoying some fresh

air. I didn’t hear the other vehicle pull up, I didn’t notice

anything until some guy grabbed me, and he stuck me with a

syringe and I was out for it. When I came too, we were in that

dirty shack, the two guys were trying to take my clothes off.

They were human so I should have been able to take them, but

that damn drug really weakened me for a bit. I was trying to

fight them off when Matthew came in and killed them.”

Dean pulled the wallets he had recovered from the dead men

and passed them to Diablo, who was sitting with Griff on a two-

seater. “These were on the bodies, which are still in the shack

by the way.”

“We’ll leave them there,” Kane said. “I don’t think we will have

any problems with law enforcement over this. I take it you’re

not in the system Matthew?”

Matthew almost snorted out loud. At 120 years old he had

taken a number of identities over the years, but he had never

been in any legal system, or even spoken to by police in all

that time. But remembering his place he simply said, “No,

there won’t be any record of me anywhere.”

“All right then. If you are feeling better Dean, then I would like

to talk to you for a moment and then I think we had better

leave you to sort some things out with Matthew. Diablo and

Jax, can you do whatever it is you do and follow up on those

wallets, and any ID you can find. Troy, can you patch into the

police force and just watch to see if anybody reports these

bodies. That might give us some clue as to whether or not

Kylan is in the area. Griff and Anton, I want you two to head

out to the shack and just do some scouting around the shack –

don’t go in it. But look to see if you can find any further clues

as to what we are dealing with. I want you all back here in

time for dinner at six sharp.”

Kane rattled out the orders like a seasoned pro, but Matthew

could see that the man was worried, not only about Dean and

his mating, but by the threat posed by Kylan. When the room

was empty except for Kane, Shawn and Dean, Kane said, “I

won’t keep Dean long, Matthew, I just want to chat to him for a

moment.”

“You can do it here, Kane, please,” Dean said and Matthew was

pleased to hear there was no tremor in Dean’s voice. “There’s

nothing you can say to me that should be a secret from

Matthew. You wouldn’t separate any other pair or expect them

to keep secrets from each other.”

A strange look flashed over Kane’s face and Matthew couldn’t

work out what it meant. But he was pleased that Dean had told

his pack that they were mates and he was also proud that

Dean was sticking up for their rights as mates, even if they