Getting to Happy (15 page)

Bernadine eats some of her omelet. Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned this. Maybe she should just mind her own business. And maybe she should just change the subject.

“So what do you think about Savannah divorcing Isaac?” Gloria asks.

“I think it’s sad.”

“I think it’s stupid.” Gloria pushes an entire strip of bacon into her mouth.

“Why is it so stupid? He’s a porn addict. He even admitted it. Plus he was cheating on her.”

“You think all men cheat, Bernie.”

“Not all of them. Most of them. Anyway, Isaac even admitted he was seeing another woman.”

“First of all, don’t you think it’s a little odd that he didn’t tell Savannah about this other woman until after she told him she wanted a divorce?”

“Well, it’s not like men broadcast when they’re having an affair, Gloria. Are you trying to say you think he made it up?”

“Sometimes folks throw darts when they’re attacked.”

“She didn’t attack him!”

“The bottom line is, Isaac is a good man and he was a good husband. I love her to death but Savannah lives in her own idealistic world, you know. I’m surprised Isaac was able to hang as long as he did.”

“What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“She treated him like she was superior.”

“But she is,” Bernadine says and props her fork and knife against her plate. “You’re making it sound like she should’ve played down how intelligent she is just to make her friggin’ husband feel secure. Please.”

“She married him knowing exactly who he was.”

“Then maybe she made a ten-year mistake, Gloria. It happens you know.”

“I think it’s a knee-jerk reaction to a situation she’s given more weight to than it deserves.”

They continue to eat, Gloria cleaning her plate. “So what about you, Bernie? You’re so concerned about everybody else’s problems and worries, how’s everything going with you? Are you going to be able to reopen Sweet Tooth anytime soon? How are the kids doing? Wasn’t Onika here a few months ago? And how’s John Jr.?”

“Slow down, Gloria! That’s quite a mouthful. Maybe I should just write a book and put all the answers in it.” Bernadine is surprised when Gloria chuckles.

“I’m listening.”

“I’m good. Sweet Tooth had its day. It’s time to move on to something else.”

“Like what?”

“I’m weighing my options.”

“You and me both.”

“Onika is a lesbian,” Bernadine blurts out.

Gloria reaches for a slice of honeydew from Bernadine’s plate, takes a small bite and chews it. “It’s about time that child came out with it. You can’t sit here and tell me you didn’t have a notion.”

“I thought maybe.”

“So how’d you find out?”

Bernadine wishes she could tell Gloria the truth but she can’t. “She told me.”

“Just out of the blue?”

“She brought a girlfriend home for the weekend and I put two and two together.”

“Did you catch them doing anything?”

“No!”

“Are you disappointed about it?”

“No. She is who she is and I’m just glad she knows it.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Good. So many parents freak out when they find out their kids are gay. When Joseph came out right after he started working at Oasis, his family disowned him. That was centuries ago, but there are still a lot of young kids out there who are terrified. How’d John take it?”

“Onika hasn’t told him yet. He wasn’t around the weekend she was here.”

“You’re not planning on telling him, I hope.”

“Of course not. It’s Onika’s call, not mine.”

“So what about John Junior? Does he ever come up for air? I haven’t seen that boy in over a year.”

“He’s doing fine. Lots of research, plus word on the street is that he’s madly in love with some southern belle and claims they might drive out here sometime this summer.”

“How old is he now?”

“Twenty-four. Anyway, Glo, can I ask you a favor?”

“How big?”

“Not big.”

“I’m listening.”

“Are you still getting the bootleg DVDs?”

“You don’t have to say it so loud, Bernie!” Gloria whispers almost as loud. “And don’t ever mention this in front of Tarik or I could be in big trouble. Anyway, to answer your question: yes. What kind of favor?”

“Can we please start having Blockbuster Night again soon? We miss it. We miss you. We miss us.”

Gloria looks down at her empty plate and then up at Bernadine. “I’ll see what they have in stock and let you know. Give me a few weeks, okay?”

“Okay.”

Not long after she gets home Bernadine is upstairs changing when she hears someone knocking at the front door. She does not rush to answer it. For starters, she has a doorbell, and second, there’s a sign out front that says as plain as day in English and Spanish and in giant red letters, NO SOLICITORS.

It was good to see Gloria. Bernadine wished she could’ve told her the truth about how and why she hadn’t remembered going into Onika’s room. But what would she have said? That she was scared because she didn’t know these sleeping pills caused her to black out? Bernadine didn’t feel comfortable talking about her issues. The whole point was to provide a little comfort for Gloria, but it was clear she hadn’t done a very good job of it.

She puts on a pair of shorts, and while pulling the tank top over her head, Bernadine can’t believe it when she starts crying. She hasn’t cried since Marvin’s funeral. She doesn’t know why, but then again, she does.

The person at the front door is now knocking hard, entirely too hard for any solicitor. She wipes her eyes and runs down the stairs. Bernadine is surprised to see John through the peephole. He has a worried look on his face. He has never dropped in on her, so she knows something is wrong. She opens the door.

“Bernie, you okay? I’ve been standing out here forever but I saw your car in the garage and I figured maybe you just didn’t hear me. Can I come in?”

She steps away from the door and opens it wide enough for him to enter.

“What’s going on, John?”

He shakes his head back and forth, but doesn’t say anything.

“Is it Taylor? Nothing’s happened to our kids, because I’d know. Talk to me.”

“It’s me who’s not doing so hot.”

“It’s not your health, is it?” Bernadine asks, finally closing the door. John heads for the kitchen. He knows this house because he used to live in it. She follows him, praying that nothing is wrong with him. At the same time she’s thinking that if there was ever such a category, John would certainly get top honors for being a good father to Onika and John Jr. Since their divorce, he’d been a hands-on dad. Bernadine also realized that he made a much better ex-husband than husband.

“No, it’s not my health. And I’m sorry for dropping by like this, Bernie, but I’m not sure what to do about this situation.” He leans on the counter and then stands up as if he’s been ordered to.

“What situation?”

“Why are your eyes red? Have you been crying? Is this a bad time?”

“It’s my allergies,” she says.

“I’m sorry. I never knew you had allergies. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” She’s wondering if maybe she should take a Xanax, at least half of one, but decides against it. John looks like he might need her full attention.

When she sees tears rolling down his cheeks she gets nervous. “John, why are you crying? If it’s not the kids or your health, then what’s wrong? Is it Kathleen?”

He nods his head.

Bernadine wants to get him a glass of water but decides that maybe it’s not what he needs right now. She stops in front of the refrigerator, turns around and faces him.

“Kathleen left me.”

Oh shit. She swallows a mouthful of relief that she wasn’t in some horrible accident and that she’s not dead. “What do you mean, she left? And went where?”

“To be with someone else.”

“Wait a minute. Are you standing here telling me that your wife has left you to be with another man?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, yeah. Basically, that’s the way it is.”

Bernadine is thunderstruck by the irony, considering this is a replay of how their marriage ended, but she doesn’t feel any gratification whatsoever. “Look, I’m really sorry to hear this, John. When did all this happen?”

“A couple of weeks ago.”

“And were you like expecting this? I know she couldn’t have just upped and left.”

“Of course I wasn’t expecting it. True, things have been bad between us for the last six months or so, but I thought her frustrations with me were due to the long hours I’d been putting in. There’s another man. And she did just up and leave.”

“You mean she didn’t take Taylor?”

“No, she didn’t. She couldn’t just
take
our daughter without getting permission from a court. But she doesn’t want her.”

“Hold up. Just wait a fucking minute here. What do you mean,
she doesn’t want her
? Her own daughter? That’s the most ridiculous-sounding shit I’ve heard yet. How can you say that?”

“Because she told me. She said she was burnt out on motherhood, me, Phoenix, everything. She said it would be better if I just finished raising Taylor.”

“I don’t fucking believe this.”

“At first, I didn’t either. But I do now.”

“And I thought the stuff James pulled was deep.”

“It
was
deep, Bernie.”

“How could she leave her own kid? And what took you so long to tell me?”

“Because I didn’t know what to tell you. I know you never cared for Kathleen.”

“That was sixteen years ago, John. I don’t have anything against Kathleen, and you more than anybody should know that by now. I’ve always been friendly toward her and I treat your daughter like she’s part of this family, because she is. The kids don’t think of her as their half-sister. She’s their sister. Taylor has never felt like an outsider in this house, and you know it.”

He’s nodding his head in agreement. “I got served yesterday.”

“It’s probably just a power play. She’ll be back. As soon as his spell wears off she’ll come to her senses.”

“She’s in London.”

“You can’t be serious.”

He just looks at me.

“But what about Taylor? How does she feel and does she know what’s going on?”

Bernadine figures this might be a good time to get him and herself a bottle of water. John looks like he’s in some kind of trance. He’s staring at the floor as if there might be answers in the grout. “I’m not sure how to handle this, Bernie. I’m so fucking confused I don’t know what to do from one minute to the next. Taylor is fourteen, and she’s not stupid. She knows her mother’s been fooling around for a while. Kathleen made her swear to secrecy, which is a terrible position to put your own kid in.”

“I didn’t think she was like this.”

“You and me both.”

“Well, maybe you should just chill for a minute before you go doing something you’ll regret.”

“She’s the one who’s going to regret this.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t abandon your own child.
Me
I can understand. But not your child.”

“I’ll tell you, John, nothing surprises me anymore.”

“She wants a lot.”

“They always do. Your prenuptial agreement is valid though, right?”

“Absolutely. She’ll get what she’s entitled to since she left Taylor in my custody. I’m just not interested in taking care of her lover.”

“I hear you.”

“So that brings me to the other reason for my visit. I think I’d like to give you one of my properties.”

“What are you talking about? I hope you’re not trying to hide it?”

“Not at all. There’s no need to. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I know James took you to the cleaners. We all know it. JJ told me how tough it’s been for you even before you closed Sweet Tooth.”

“John Junior doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I think he does. We’re not all blind, Bernie. Plus, you can sell it, lease it or do whatever you want with it.”

“Look, let’s not talk about my situation right now, John, okay? This is serious business. Is there anything I can do to help you with Taylor?”

“Anything you can do would help. I’m not sure I know what to do with a soon-to-be fifteen-year-old. I think you might know her better than I do. It would be nice if I could bring her over to spend a weekend or something.”

“Sure.”

“Onika sent me an e-mail telling me about being a camp counselor this summer. Sounds respectable.”

“She’s coming with a girlfriend.”

“That’s good. So she’s doing okay?”

“She’s doing fine.”

“Good. I’ll give her a call in a day or so. Bernie, thanks for listening. And for everything.” He gives her a genuine hug. Bernadine hugs him back. She is surprised when she feels warmth. She forgot about that. Probably because she hasn’t felt a man’s body touch hers in six years.

Icebreakers

“Okay. So, I’m Tiger Lady,” I whisper to Savannah.

“You cannot be serious,” she says loudly, and takes a sip from the second bottle of water she’s had in less than the hour we’ve been here. She must be dehydrated. This heat will certainly do it to you.