Ghostly (Darkly Devoted Book 1) (21 page)

Chapter Thirty-Four

“Lay with me?” Cade slipped his jeans on and crawled up onto the bed.

I reached down to pick up his shirt off the floor and pulled it over my head. “Yeah.”

I crawled up to where he was and lay down. He took one of my hands in his, lacing our fingers and holding them up to his chest. “So, you’re not mad?”

“I can’t promise I wouldn’t have killed someone if I walked in on them shooting you.”

“Gotcha, yeah.”

He ran his free hand down my body and traced the now fading finger marks on my arm.

“I’m going to miss that,” I whispered.

“What?”

“Your love marks on me.”

He scowled. “They always look so brutal, man. I don’t miss ‘em at all.”

“But they feel so good at the time.” 

“I’m not sure which of us is more fucked up, Briar.”

I shrugged. “I’m pretty sure it’s you.”

“Whatever you say, Princess of the Darkness.” He tried to mimic Dracula’s thick accent but failed miserably.

I laughed out loud and threw my head back. “That’s horrible. Stop it.”

“Vat do you mean?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

I laughed again. “Give it up; it’s so bad.”

“I vant to suck your blood.” He jumped up from the bed and onto me. He roared as he grabbed me and tickled me.

“No, Cade, stop!”

The laughter erupted from him, ecstatic and childish as he continued to torture me. I shoved my hands at him and tried to push him off, laughing uncontrollably. His knees were planted firmly on either side of my body, and I was trapped.

“I give! I give! I’ll do anything! Just stop!”

“Anything?” He smiled down at me mischievously.

I nodded frantically.

He lowered his face to mine slowly. “You are so beautiful in my shirt.”

“Maybe I will keep it.”

“I bet it’d look even better on the floor.” He growled and kissed me. His hands ran underneath the shirt, but a voice in the hallway made me pause.

“I won’t be but just a second, Mr. Summers. I will just get my stuff and leave.”

“Who the hell—” Cade started. He sat up and looked over at the door. 

I put my hand over his mouth to shush him and sat up, eyes focused on the figure that crept into my room and shut the door. Meredith’s red hair was styled into spikes in the back but straight and long in the front. Her pink, plaid pea coat fell to her knees where her brown boots peeked out from under them. Her dark eyebrows pulled together in uncertainty; her eyes scanned through the room as she took a few cautious steps inside.

I pulled myself up from the bed and brushed Cade’s hands off me. I moved to perch on the edge of the comforter and watched Meredith take a few more steps inside.

She raised one green manicured nail to her mouth and nibbled on it as she looked around.

“Briar?” she asked, her voice quiet and unsure.

I let myself be seen. “Hey.”

She jumped and twirled around with fear in her eyes as they settled on me. Her hand flew to her chest. “Holy shit, you scared the bejesus outta me.”

“Sorry, I’ve not really…I’m kinda new to this, ya know.” I lowered my eyes to the worn hem on the edge of my skirt.

“That shirt is hideous. Who even listens to that nineties grunge rock anymore, anyway?” She took a careful step towards me.

“I do, but it’s not mine.” I laughed and looked behind me to see Cade’s unamused stare.

“What are you looking at?” she asked.

“Oh. Nothing.”

“You’re really here, huh?”

“Yea somewhat…”

“Do—do you feel dead?”

“No, not really.”

“It’s no different?”

“Well, yes and no?”

“No, as in…” She turned her hand over a few times as if to encourage me to finish the sentence.

“No, as in I’m still like a living breathing version of me…except not. I still hang out, read some, and listen to music. Cade and I, we still um…”

She scrunched her nose. “Ew, how does that work?”

“I dunno.” I shrugged. “But it’s really intense.”

“Oh my God,” Cade commented from behind me, still not amused.

“So, yes as in…” Meredith continued.

“Yes, as in I can’t show myself to my dad or Dillon. Yes, as in I can’t leave this stupid house.”

“Well, that sucks.”

“Parts of it.”

“I wasn’t sure if, um, if that text was really from you.” Her eyes filled up with tears. “I mean, I’d hoped…but ya know.”

“Don’t cry.” I stepped over to where she was and reached out to hug her.

She shook her head. “No, don’t, this is hard enough.”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know…but you don’t know what it’s like. I saw you in the casket. Saw them put you in the ground.”

I was speechless. What could I possibly say to understand what she was going through? It was stupid of me to text her when she was probably hurting as much as my family. 

“I just don’t understand how you can be here. I thought, maybe, there was a better place for people when they died.”

“Maybe there is, Meredith. It’s just this house. There’s something different about it.”

“But it’s not fair!” she exclaimed, face rising to meet mine as she continued to scream. “Is it? That you’re stuck here, with crazy people and Goddess knows what else?”

“No but—”

“I told you that you needed to get out! You didn’t listen to me, and now—now you’re dead.
Dead
.”

“Everything is fine, Cade is—”

“
That boy
, he’s going to take you down with him when this house loses its hold on you. He’s evil.”

“Are we really going back to this?” I crossed my arms and glared at her.

“It always comes back to this—your safety. And you’re not safe here.” She reached into her large, pink purse and pulled out a thick, old book. “This is the answer.”

I looked down at the ragged book and took it in my hands. The cover was dark brown with no title or author. The edges of it were worn and the pages yellowed; a musty smell drifted upwards as I opened the cover.

Ravencroft Book of Shadows.

I flipped to the next page and read the contents written in a hard to read cursive script.

This is the manuscript of Willow Ravencroft, daughter of the great Tara Saunder and George Ravencroft. Here I will document the spells of which I have been taught in my youth, family incantations, and those I will learn until the day I die. This book shall be burnt at my time of death as to not reveal the secrets of our coven. If this shall make it into the wrong hands, I fear what will happen. Its contents are not to be taken lightly.

“What the hell is that?” Cade demanded and jumped up from the bed. He came to stand beside me and glared at the book.

I ignored him, eyes focused on my friend. “Where did you get this?”

“I found it in my grandmother’s attic. I thought maybe we could find something in here. Move you into the light? Free your soul from this house? Do
something.
”

“I don’t fucking think so.” Cade grabbed the book out of my hand.

Meredith jumped back from me and gasped as the book flew across the room and slammed against the door.

“You can’t mess with this shit.” His body quivered to reveal himself to Meredith. His eyes moved to her, angry and cold.

She shifted her gaze away from us, no doubt more than freaked out by his random appearance. “Listen,
you,
you can’t tell me what to do.”

“Maybe not, but I’m not going to let you pull Briar into some nature loving bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit; it’s real. I’ve seen it.”

“But you don’t know what the hell you are doing.” He shoved his hands into his pockets in an attempt to calm himself.

I laced my hand through his arm and pulled myself closer to him. “It’s okay, Cade; it’s something to think about.”

“No fucking way.”

“Do you want to be stuck here forever?”

He didn’t answer me, just pursed his lips as if I’d never said anything and continued to glare at Meredith.

“Fine, don’t answer me, but I know the answer is no. She may have found us a way out of here. I can’t stand it here much longer. I’m losing my mind.”

“I just found this the other day, so I will need a while to flip through it,” Meredith explained. She carefully moved over to where the book was without taking her eyes off Cade. “I’ve never cast a spell, so I will need to, like, practice…or something.”

I nodded in agreement.

“If I find something, I can just stop back by?”

“Yeah, of course.”

She reached down, picked up the book, and shoved it back into her bag. “I need something to take with me or your dad will think I lied about picking up something.”

“Yeah, go for it.” I waved my arm around the room to show she could take anything.

She reached over to my pile of books, picked a random one, and tucked it into her arm. As she walked towards the door, I could see the tears filling her eyes again. She glanced over at where I was and let out a loud sigh.

Without another word, she ran back across the room and pulled me out of Cade’s arms and into hers. She held me tightly as she started to sob. I returned the hug and stroked her back as she continued to cry. I felt awful for inviting her over. Even if she was the one that might be able to help.

Chapter Thirty-Five

On Christmas day, I curled up in the living room with my blanket with my back pressed into the corner of the two walls. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my head on them. At the first sign of morning, I’d come down. Thankfully, Cade hadn’t followed. It was something I had to do by myself and without him to protect me. I had to find strength in myself again and stop relying on him so much.

My brother’s stocking overflowed with toys. I added more wood to the fire, so it would be nice and warm when my family awoke. I was tempted to finish decorating the tree, but decided otherwise. That might be too much if they woke up to find it completed.

Finally I heard the pitter patter of tiny feet running down the hallway, accompanied by my brothers frantic excitement. He rushed into the doorway, one hand flying up to cover his mouth and the other reaching out to point at the fireplace.

“Daddy, Santa came! He came!”

“Well, it looks like you must have been good after all,” my dad said as walked into the room behind Dillon.

“Can I see what he got me?”

“Of course.”

He raced across the room and jumped up in an attempt to grab it. When he jumped the second time, he grabbed it and fell to the floor with the stocking in hand. He giggled as he peered into it. He was just a few feet away from me; close enough for me to smell the fresh scent of his bubble bath that still lingered on his skin from the night before.

As he pulled out the contents of his stocking, I looked over at my dad. He sat on the edge of the couch and watched Dillon with a smile that only a father could give his children. There was no trace of that painful expression he’d worn for weeks now.

He was moving on. Both of them were.

Dillon tossed a ball to him, and he caught it. He smiled and threw it back.

I wanted to help Dillon open his other gifts, eat lunch, and watch cheesy Christmas movies. I wanted to argue with my dad about how cliché Christmas was and demand him turn it off. I yearned for his insistence that I give in to the holiday spirit.

The reality was that, dead or alive, I would have forever been tied to the house. From the moment I’d laid eyes on Cade that day in the basement, my fate was sealed. My heart recognized something in him that it hadn’t in anyone else before. His darkness and my light blended together to create something wonderful.

I would have never left the house or the town. I would have never been able to find someone else that I was interested in. I would have always compared them to Cade and whatever it was that drew me to him like a moth to a flame. So close to the edge of danger, but never so protected and warm as before that first glimpse.

There was no way things would change now. No reason to look back on the past. With him, I’d finally been able to fill the hole in my heart that my mother left. He would never replace her, but he’d made my heart hurt less.

As I watched my family and reminisced one last time, I felt him watching. It was almost as if an invisible calm reached out to hold me and encourage me to breathe. 

Don’t cry. It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.

When my family moved into the kitchen, I followed them and watched them eat. My father talked about moving out of the house to get a fresh start. Dillon seemed to be open to the idea, ready and willing to make new friends. Dad was happy about that, and I could see that simple conversation was enough to make the difference. It helped him make the right decision for his son. He was going to put the house on the market.

After they left to visit Carla’s house for dinner, I sat in front of the fireplace and watched the flames dance. Ryder would be there. I wondered how he was doing. I missed him. He’d been something special. He’d been someone who really understood me. He probably would have been the one to win my heart in the end if I had moved into a different home in the first place.

But life had another plan for me, and I was forever going to be stuck in the house. My family was moving out, and I would never see them again. I closed my eyes and let the tears creep out from under my lashes. There was no use hiding them. I had spent the majority of my life hiding from my emotions until I’d met Cade. I retrieved my phone and earphones from the pocket of my hoodie and put on my favorite music. I let it consume me and take me to another place.

When I felt the hand on my shoulder, I didn’t move, just ignored it and hoped they’d go away. The hand shook me, so I jerked my ear buds out and turned around.

“What do you want?”

I froze.

The body on the other end of that hand was tall, lanky, and plaid in flannel. Ryder stared back at me through the brown hair falling into his eyes, concern plastered on his face.

“Briar,” he whispered as if he wasn’t quite sure it was me.

I wiped at my tears furiously and cursed myself for having my music up while I was out in the open where someone could see me. How had he gotten inside?

“Why are you crying?” He leaned down in front of me and brushed my hair out of my face.

I shook him off me. “How’d you get in here?”

“Your dad must have forgotten to lock the door on his way out. Meredith told me that….that you were here, and I had to see for myself.”

“Oh….”

“Why are you crying?” he repeated.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Briar, I know you better than that.”

Well, shit. He wasn’t going to give up so easily.

“Dad and Dillon are moving out. I’m never going to see them again.”

He reached out to take my hand and flinched slightly. He’d noticed the cold, the dead chill that erupted from my hand to his. Like it had from Cade to me when I’d been alive. I remembered my own shock at such a coldness.

“Oh, I um, I’m sorry. Why are they leaving?”

I gave a noncommittal shrug. “I don’t want to talk about it. What are you doing here?”

“I just needed to see you. God, Briar, I don’t want to see you here like this. You’re so cold, so different.”

I jerked my hand away from him and scowled. “I’m no different than when I was alive, just a little colder.”

“Okay, okay, sorry. You don’t have to explain anything.” His hand cupped my jaw to make me look at him. He leaned in toward me and stopped inches away from my face. “Briar, I wish there was something I could have done.”

Shaking my head, I raised my hand to his face. “Please don’t blame yourself. I hear enough of that. I’m trying to find a way to be happy again.”

“I could buy the house. I could live here with you. We could be together.” His eyes searched my face for an answer.

That wasn’t possible though. I loved Cade. He was my world. There wasn’t anything Ryder could do because it was too late.

I shook my head. “I can’t let you do that. Cade’s here, Ryder. He’s dead too and I…I love him.”

Ryder shook his head and closed the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine. I froze for a minute and then scrambled away from him. It caused him to fall backwards and knock us to the floor. I put my palms down to catch myself.

“What the fuck is going on.” Cade’s voice filled the air behind me, and the entire room filled up with his emotions.

I sprang to my feet and stepped in front of Ryder protectively. Cade stood in the doorway with anger plastered on his face.

“It’s not what it looks like, chill out.”

“I swear, Briar, this is the second time I’ve caught him with his hands all over you.”

“Ryder, you need to leave.” I didn’t take my eyes off Cade. When I held out my hand, Ryder took it and stood up. 

“Listen, man, chill out like she said.”

“Don’t you even talk to me.” Cade was suddenly right in front of us.

I moved to put myself between them again. I laid my hands on Cade’s shoulders, but he pushed me off him and started to pace. Reaching behind me once again, I took a hold of Ryder’s arms and slowly led him towards the door. My heart thudded in my chest as I tried to keep him behind me. 

“Briar, stop,” Cade said

He turned to watch us, but I continued to move towards the door.

“No, I can’t. You need to calm down. Remember what we talked about?” I knew Cade wouldn’t hurt me, but I couldn’t take the chance he’d hurt Ryder. I had to save Cade from himself.

“I said stop!” The lights flickered off and on.

I grabbed the doorknob and threw open the door, shoving Ryder out of it.

“Briar, I’m not leaving—”

“Just go!”

“Briar—”

“Just get off the property please; we can talk later, just please.”

He ran across the street, stupid me trying to follow him. I slammed into the barrier and fell to the ground. Ryder turned to look at me with shock on his face.

I pulled myself to my feet and brushed off my clothes. He rushed back over to me and raised his hands in the hair. I mirrored them but wasn’t able to even move them past the boundary. 

“Please go,” I whispered.

“I won’t let him hurt you.”

“He can’t, Ryder. I’m dead, remember?” Sarcasm dripped from my words, and I instantly regretted it when his face fell.

“I wish there was something I could do.”

“There isn’t.”

Ryder took my hand in his and stepped closer to me. “If I have any say so, you will be out of this house sooner rather than later.” He planted a soft kiss on my hand, and then he left.

“What the hell was that about?” Cade demanded as he stepped up beside me.

“He was just coming to see me. He was worried.”

“You’re not his concern anymore, and he needs to keep his hands to himself if he wants to keep them.”

I looked at him and crossed my arms. “I don’t see what the big deal is. I’m dead; he’s not. It doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry, Briar. I just…I don’t want to lose you.” He pulled me into his arms and held me close.

I was surprised at the quickness of his apology, but still unsure of what his intentions were. He was possessive, and it only seemed to be getting worse, especially now that we were both on the same side of the veil of death. If he hurt anyone that was important to me, I could never forgive him. I just hoped he understood that.