Gifted, A Donovan Circus Novel (17 page)

She trailed off and my mind went
straight to fireballs. That’s something I didn’t think anyone could outlive if
you weren’t a Firestarter. I didn’t want to say it aloud, but I did anyways.

“It looks exactly like a giant
fireball hit him in the chest and scorched him.”

Delia put the cookies aside and
sat up. She gave me a sharp look. “Do not say that to anyone else. Promise me.”

I looked down at my hands. “I
know. I hate to even think it. But the evidence is there.”

“Maybe, but you will put
yourself in danger if folks here think they are being accused of something this
terrible. They will make you pay for such awful accusations on them.”

I nodded.

“Lucy, I cannot bring myself to
consider it. It is too awful. There are some jerks here, sure, but nothing like
this has ever happened before. Besides, there are only five Firestarters and
you are included. What do you think people would say if you accused one of your
own?”

“I know. I’d never say it to
anyone else. But I’d be surprised if tomorrow morning people weren’t already
suggesting it. They know what a fireball looks like and rumors always fly when
stuff happens.”

“As long as that rumor is not
initiated or continued by you, it does not matter. You need to extract yourself
from any of that; be oblivious and do not get baited by anything you hear. I
think it was the townies from our fight, but if it was not, then you and I need
to keep that to ourselves.”

“I don’t know how we can be
expected to sit around and not do anything about it. Marty was important;
people are going to want results. How is Sheffield going to handle that?”

Delia got up and shoved the
cookies back in her secret stash drawer. “I have no idea. This is not something
any of us have experience with; he is very smart, but how he plans to take care
of it is beyond me.”

She sat on her bed and faced me
again. “But Lucy, if I trust anyone to deal with this, it is Sheffield. I know
he has handled certain delicate situations in the past and gotten people out of
trouble. He may not share it with the rest of us, but for all we know, he has
already put a plan in motion. Marty was family; Sheffield would never let this
sit.”

“This is all so awful.”

“I know. I do not know if we
have ever had a serious event like this. Deaths and accidents are normal, but
we are used to natural ones. Nothing like this.”

I shook my head. “I’ve never
been a part of anything this serious. My parents were certainly a shock, but it
wasn’t gruesome or tragic the way a murder is; I wonder who else knows.”

Delia bitterly laughed. “Oh,
everyone. Word travels fast here. I bet even the animals are talking about it.”

I couldn’t even register her
last sentence. My brain was too numb to take anymore. Instead, I collapsed onto
my bed and buried my face in my pillow.

Chapter
12

The next day ran as any other.
The show must go on, after all. Plenty of accidents and events occurred in
every city; this would be considered another one to overcome. However, the air
was tense and quieter than I expected. No jokes or loud laughter were to be
found anywhere, not even near Clown Alley; people stayed closed together, heads
bent in deep conversation, while others focused so intently on the next act or
job to perform they ignored the world.

Everyone performed beautifully,
but in the midst of costume changes, scurrying to other tents, and slow moments
at game booths, I could hear murmurs of curiosity. Those who had missed the
events last night were asking everyone for details; those present were happy to
provide fodder for the gossip mill. Nobody outgrew spreading rumors even after
high school. Good to know.

“Did you hear about Marty?”

“I heard he had terrible
gambling debt and the sharks came after him all the way from Baltimore.”

“It looked like he fought with
someone before he got set on fire.”

“I saw his body and I’m not
entirely convinced it
was
Marty.”

“Someone said it could be a
townie. There was some sort of fight the other night. Keep your eyes peeled for
any weird characters.” To which I heard, “Are you joking? We work in a circus,
dipshit. This place is nothing
but
weird characters.”

I was helping get props for the
clowns before the final show when Bianca shimmered out of nowhere and scared
the shit out of me. She looked panicked and spoke without greeting me. “No
one’s started blaming you yet, have they?”

I stopped dead in my tracks to
face her. “Say again now?”

“I heard whispers all day that
it could be one of the new kids, meaning maybe you or Gabriel. There’s also
grumblings it could’ve been a Firestarter, also meaning maybe you. Which means
that you’re in the running for big trouble and a lot of accusations,” she replied.

One of the younger clowns paused
to listen.

“No one’s said anything to me,
but I would hope I wouldn’t be a suspect. I mean, look at me! Marty was three
times my size,” I said. “And Jarvis, what may I help you with? If it’s finding
your business, it’s certainly not here.”

Jarvis scowled at me, or at
least I thought he did underneath all his makeup. He stalked off, but I was
sure I caught him muttering something about “angry PMS.”

Bianca kept talking as though
nothing happened. “Lucy, I know you can see the problem with that argument.”

She was right. A Firestarter
didn’t necessarily need to touch someone to set them on fire. All it took was
one fireball and good aim. What was worse, I proved my first night here that I
could control fire without even being near it. Excellent. Now it was going to
be like high school after I lit that trash can on fire. Times a thousand.

“Well, what good would I get
from killing Marty? That’s ridiculous. Besides, I was helping with the show all
night,” I argued.

“With plenty of time to sneak
away and get back, someone could say. I think you should be prepared if people
start asking questions. They’re going to ask your whereabouts, your habits,
your temper, everything. This is bad.”

“But Bianca, why would anyone
honestly believe that over our fight with those idiots the other night? Surely
they’re the killers or at the very least that one old guy,” I said.

Bianca shrugged. “You’re right.
I know that. But some people love to fuel the rumors.”

“We don’t have time for this. I
appreciate the heads up, but the clowns are out and I need to see who else
needs my help for the second half. I know you have stuff to do, too,” I
replied. She nodded and disappeared with a pop.

However, as it turned out, no
one really wanted help from a potential suspect. With each member I asked to
help, I was met with a resounding “No” and left to wander to the next
performer.

“I didn’t murder anyone!” I
exclaimed after the eighth person denied my help.

“That’s good. Say that louder
and often enough and I’m sure everyone will believe you,” said a voice behind
me.

I groaned, turning around to see
Gabriel leaning against a funnel cake booth, smoking a cigarette with that damn
smirk on his face.

“I don’t know what you think is
so funny. You’re a suspect too, ya know,” I said, glaring at him.

He shrugged and I could almost
feel my head catch on fire. That one small movement
really
aggravated me. I started to walk towards the campers, but to
my annoyance, he stamped out his cigarette and followed me.

“Can you maybe, just once, do
something other than shrug? I know you like to show how much you could care
less, but it’s really getting old,” I snapped.

“I don’t know what to tell you.
You’re in more trouble gossip-wise than I am, since I’m not a Firestarter. I
obviously can’t set people on fire whenever I feel like it.”

“Sure you can. Crazy people do
it all the time.”

Gabriel laughed, his smile
reaching his eyes. He was gorgeous when he smiled. I mentally slapped myself.

“But I definitely didn’t do it.
I would never use my gift like that. Why would I kill some guy I barely knew?
My parents raised me far better than that,” I replied.

He guffawed. “Your parents
raised you better than that? That’s your argument for why you shouldn’t be a
suspect in a gruesome circus murder? You better work on that closing speech,
Counselor.”

“You know what I mean, but fine,
then what’s your argument?”

“I didn’t do it.”

There was that head-on-fire
feeling again. Gabriel frustrated me to the brink of no return and it was
highly unpleasant.

“I think you better work on
your
argument. And while we’re being
bluntly honest, I think you annoy me possibly more than anyone I’ve ever met,
you—you
malaka
!”

He raised an eyebrow before
crossing both arms over his chest and jutting his chin out. “Well, good. You
need to get used to not getting what you want.”

“Excuse me?”

“You expect everyone to answer
questions honestly, to be given what you want because you work hard, for the
world to never skip a beat. You’re naïve. You’ve been lucky in life, but you’re
getting a slap of reality,” he said.

I stopped so fast that he bumped
into me, and I turned to glare at him. “
I’ve
been lucky in life
? You don’t even know me, what I’ve done or been through;
you have no right to say such things when you can’t even bother to ask any
questions or get to know me at all.”

“You can’t keep expecting
everything to fall in your lap—,” he began, but I cut him off.

“I don’t know where you get that
idea in your head, but I never expect that. I work very hard at everything I
do; if I succeed, it’s because I did well. If I fail, I didn’t try hard enough.
You would know this if you bothered to get to know me. Instead, you lurk in
your corners and appear when it’s convenient for you, because you have this
idea that you need to be a loner, that no one would accept you. It gets old
pretty fast, Gabriel.” Flames licked my wrists in my irritation.

“Okay, first of all, I don’t
“lurk.” I observe a lot,” he said, his tone finally sounding annoyed. “And I
don’t try to seem intriguing or whatever; I keep to myself.”

“Until you pop out of nowhere to
bug the hell out of me, anyways,” I responded. “You act so cool and give me
tips on how to run my life, but you can’t handle any criticism. You’re so defensive
against anything I say because you’d hate for me to pinpoint any flaws or judge
you. So instead of taking anything I say to heart, you make fun of me. I want
to change now that I’m here, believe the best in people. If you knew me at all,
you’d understand that’s saying something for me.”

“You’re such a hypocrite. You
don’t let anyone in. How do I know that? You couldn’t even talk to me when I
dragged you back to the van the other night,” he shot back.

“I couldn’t talk to you because
I was upset, jackass. Look, I know there are times I’ll be terribly
disappointed, but it doesn’t hurt to try it out. It still lets me have friends
here, unlike your loner lifestyle.”

“I’m a loner because I choose to
be, not because I don’t think anyone would accept me,” he snapped. He started
walking towards the campers again and I felt a satisfaction. Finally, I’d hit a
nerve. As much as I wanted to crawl into my bed and hide, I followed him. I
struggled to keep up with his long strides so he could hear me.

“This isn’t like other troupes.
We stick together because we want to, because we need to, not because we feel
obligated or trapped. You can leave at any time, but people here choose not to
because they know they can belong somewhere. You mock me for saying the word “family”
but we take care of one another the way a family does; I need to trust you if
you want to stick around, as does everyone else.” Fire had lit up to my elbows
in my passionate speech.

“What makes you think you can
trust anyone around here?”

“I don’t trust anyone completely
yet. But that’s the point of being here—you don’t know until you try. If
you want to be a loner, then you shouldn’t be here, because your business will
never be your own, nor will you ever have any secrets once someone finds out.
Either be a loner and leave, or risk trusting someone and stop being so
melodramatic. No one has time for it and if you act that way, of course people
are going to write you off,” I said.

He stopped dead in his tracks to
face me and I bumped into him. “What do you care, Lucy? You don’t even know
me.”

“And you don’t know me. If you
knew me, you’d know that I’m terrified to be here. You’d know that I’m not
dealing well with what happened the other night. You and I are in this new
place together and at first I was happy not to be the only new kid. But you’ve
made it abundantly clear you want nothing to do with anyone.”

I couldn’t believe my honesty;
I’d never let my emotions run my mouth this way. My skin tingled pleasantly
from the burn on my arms. Gabriel opened his mouth to reply but I kept on
talking. I was still offended by his attitude about the other night.

“And while we’re at it,” I said,
and he rolled his eyes, “I
should
be
able to trust you. You saved my damn life! But instead I feel like I owe you a
big favor that I’m going to regret.”

“That’s not true.”

“That I should trust you or that
I’m going to owe you a favor?”

He sighed. “You can trust me.”

“You haven’t given me very good
evidence for that, Gabriel.”

“It’s not that simple.”

He shifted his feet, looking
down at the dirt. I could hear elephants returning to their pen from
intermission. The second act would begin soon. Keegan and Nikolas would bring
their bikes into the flaming ball. I should have been at the Big Top, helping
everyone get ready and yet I didn’t flinch. Perhaps it was my incessant need to
win. I wanted him to understand why he couldn’t be so cold. Or maybe it was
that no one would let them help me since I was now labeled circus enemy number
one.