Gifted, A Donovan Circus Novel (21 page)

“You’re beginning to owe me with
all the teasing you’re giving me.”

“I didn’t want to bring this up,
but I think if anyone owes
anyone
,
it’s you. I saved your life the other night, if you don’t remember.”

“I haven’t forgotten. But this
isn’t a life-saving kind of favor. You owe me for all the grief you’ve given me
the last couple of days.”

“And what would I owe you?” He
asked, his voice low and sexy as he approached me.

“I—wait, what? Why are you
getting all cozy with me? Don’t be all charming or whatever you do to the
ladies.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. What sort
of favor?” He stopped in his tracks, took a cigarette out of his back pocket
and lit it.

“You could help me figure this
mess out. Who’s doing this and why. I’m supposed to talk with Sheffield after
the end of the show; maybe I can get some details from him and then try to put
something together.”

“So you think if Sheffield can’t
solve the mystery, then you can play Nancy Drew and discover the culprit
yourself? Good luck with that. I don’t think I want to be a part of it.” He
shifted his feet and more yellow light spilled onto his blonde hair.

“Why not? You already notice
more things than most by that lurking thing you do.”

“I do
not
lurk—” he started in an annoyed tone, but I cut him off.

“So you could probably go
undetected and hear a few things from around the lot. See what people are
saying and then go from there.”

“I already said—”

“It’s not like you don’t do it already.
You’d only be telling me what you heard. You could even…” I trailed off as a
new thought occurred to me.

Gabriel gave me a wary look.
“What?”

“Why haven’t you used your gift
to try and see who the murderer is? You’d be able to feel all their rage and
contempt.”

“Clearly you didn’t listen. I’m
not going to feed in on anyone’s emotions. I can’t allow myself to do that. The
person’s rage would be the worst thing I could feel after bottling it up for so
long; I’d probably lose it myself by accident. Hatred and anger aren’t great
feelings for Empaths in general, but for me, there’s no way it could end well.
I’d be awful, saying and doing things. I’d get so hyped up on it that I would
take the emotions completely. Anger is an incredible adrenaline rush.”

“Oh c’mon! Maybe you could, ya
know, try a little.”

“It doesn’t work that way,
dummy. You don’t just peek into the person’s emotions and get a taste. It’s all
or nothing. And whether you believe it or not, I want absolutely nothing to do
with a person of that much violence.”

He took a long drag from his
cigarette while I tried to think of another viable option. I couldn’t come up
with anything.

“Yeah, got nothing,” I said.
“But you can still skulk around, let me know what you find out. I think you owe
me that much.”

“I’m not entirely sure why, but
I suppose I have nothing better to do. But we’ll have to meet after you talk to
Sheffield,” he said, dropping his cigarette to the ground.

“I’d rather go to bed,” I
replied crossly.

“We could do that together,” he
said, waggling his eyebrows. I made a face and he laughed.

“No thanks.”

“Okay, but we can’t formulate
our plan until tomorrow and who knows what’ll happen by then.” He shrugged and
turned towards the tent entrance.

I hesitated and wondered if that
was true. Then I caught myself having a crazy moment.

“You will not lure me in,” I
muttered.

He paused mid-stride and cocked
his head ever so slightly back to me. “What was that?”

“I said you won’t lure me in. I
don’t really want to spend all my free time arguing with you.”

“You’re the one who asked for my
help. I’m looking for some entertainment. There’s not much else going on in
this shithole of a tour. Besides, you get annoyed, but maybe you secretly like
it,” he responded, back still turned to me.

“You know you’re an asshole,
right?” I called after him.

“Yes, but a helpful one,
apparently. Oh, and Lucy? You really were spectacular out there tonight, even
if it was by accident.” He loped away while I glared at the back of his head.

Chapter
15

Sometime after the show ended, I
headed over to Sheffield’s camper. The knot in my stomach had grown larger in
the waiting period. I knocked on the door and heard a grunt. I paused, unsure
if that had been a greeting or “go away.”

“Well, are you coming in or
what, Lucy?” I heard him bark after a moment. I pushed open the door and walked
in.

“Sheffield, I—,” I began.
He put a hand up to stop me.

“Before you say anything, I need
to make myself a drink. Sit down. Relax. It’s not a damn Inquisition.”

I took a seat in front of him
while he brought a large container of what appeared to be whiskey out from a
bottom drawer of his desk. He poured himself quite a large helping into a
glass, put the container back in its hiding spot, then took a large swallow
before he finally sat back and took his top hat off.

“Where do I even start with
you?” he asked.

I didn’t know if this was
rhetorical, so I remained silent. My cheeks already burned. I looked down at my
hands; tap, tap, tapping incessantly on my knees, unable to stop fidgeting.
They had a mind of their own.

“Are you doing okay after what
happened the other week at the bar?” he asked.

Surprised by this topic, I
shrugged. “I’m not letting it interfere with my work.”

“That’s not really what I asked.
Brooklyn told me what happened. It sounds very traumatizing. I owe it to your
family to make sure you’re safe.”

“Sheffield, I’m fine. I owe
Gabriel more than I’d like, but he did save my life. I can’t allow it to affect
my job, though. Nothing happened and I’m safe now. I can’t dwell on it.”

“Why not?”

“Are you playing therapist
tonight?” I snapped, immediately regretting it. I looked down at my lap, to my
fingers that still moved on their own accord. I forced the heat back from my
skin and swallowed the sick feeling that came with reliving that night’s
events.

There was a long pause and I
felt him trying to read me again.

“Okay, then. How about you tell
me your thoughts on tonight?” he suggested. He propped his feet up on his desk,
as casual as the day we met.

“Well…let me go ahead and
apologize. I should’ve let one of the performers take control. I know that it
wasn’t my place to jump in like that. I got worried that the whole place would
catch fire. I’m not saying Antonio isn’t talented, but I saw the flames grow
from his panic. I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else getting hurt.”

I paused to see if Sheffield
wanted to comment. He remained silent, so I pushed forward.

“But I also stand by my
decision. I knew I could stop it, even if it attracted a little attention. I
hate that it was so…unbelievable to the audience but I knew it would work. If
we had to do it all over, I would make the same choice. Or maybe go inside the
house instead. I realized that mistake too late.”

Sheffield took another sip of
his whiskey. I sat there, fingers drumming in the tension. I waited for his
response and he pulled a cigarette from its box and lit it. He inhaled deeply,
exhaled, and finally spoke.

“You’re much more talented than
I realized. I want to put you to better use.”

“I’m sorry? Does that mean we
can move past tonight?”

“Kid, you did what had to be
done. You stepped up to do what you thought was right and it’s for that reason
I know you’re supposed to be here. I want to take what we saw tonight and move
forward. I haven’t had much time to think on where that might lead, but I’m
sure we can figure something out. What do you think?” He sucked in more
nicotine and breathed out a cloud.

“Well…that would be great, I
guess.”

“You guess?” He quirked an
eyebrow at me.

“I mean, I just got here, so I
don’t want anyone else to get upset with me…” I trailed off. I thought of
Nikolas and the envy I heard in his voice on my first night.

“After tonight, I don’t think
anyone could blame me. I know everyone’s already talking about your little
light show,” he commented.

Inwardly, I groaned. Attention
was the absolute last thing I needed right now. He noticed my discomfort.

“You have a problem being the
center of attention?” he asked.

“When it’s for something great,
it’s fine. When it’s for something that will lead people to talk even more
about me, then yeah, I’m a little uncomfortable.”

“Talk about you even more?” He
put out his cigarette and sat up in his chair.

“No offense, Sheffield, but
don’t act like you don’t already know. There’s no way you couldn’t.”

He gave a crooked smile. “Okay,
got me there. Why do you care what they say if you didn’t do it?”

“It will make life harder here
for me. All these things add up against me: I’m brand new, I’m apparently a
suspect for murder and possible arson, and now I’m gonna move up in the show?
You have to admit it looks a little odd, even for a circus freak.”

“You worry too much about what
everyone else thinks.”

“For good reason! I can’t do my
job if no one will let me help them, or help me with my own act, for that
matter.”

“What I say goes. People know I
make the right choices for everyone here. They respect my decisions.”

“You aren’t out there at every
moment; you don’t hear what people talk about or think of me.” I slumped back
in my chair. I hated myself a little for how whiny I sounded.

“If you don’t want to be here,
then you have the freedom to leave at any time. But I won’t let you simply hide
and hope for the best. I want you to perform and if you aren’t willing to do
that, then you aren’t fulfilling your contract to your job or me. This is what
you wanted to do with your life; you don’t get to do it only during the dreamy,
upbeat moments. You want to hide or run away from the talk? Fine, but you won’t
do it here. You get over it or you don’t. It’s that simple.”

My cheeks flushed with the
lecture. Sheffield was right, no matter how much I wished he wasn’t. And the
truth was, I wanted to perform. I wanted to show off my hard work and
accomplish the challenges I presented myself, to live up to my dad’s
reputation. I needed to suck it up, forget what anyone said or would gossip
over.

I nodded, determined to earn my
place and ignore the whispers. “You’re right.”

“Damn straight I am.” He swigged
more whiskey. “Let me think on where to incorporate you in the show; stick to
errands. They don’t want your help? Move on to the next person. People need assistance;
they’ll eventually put aside the rumors. Do your job, forget the fuckin’
gossip, and show ‘em you belong here. Lenny earned his place in our world; now
it’s your turn.”

I jumped up from my chair and
headed to the door. “You’re right; I can do this.”

“Course you can,” he replied. He
lit another smoke and put his feet back on his desk. “Lucy, before you go…”

My hand paused at the doorknob.
I turned to face him. “Sir?”

“The Marty situation will pass.
Keep your head high. I know Lenny raised you better than that.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you know
that.”

“Do me a favor,” he said. He
gave me a shrewd look over his whiskey glass. “Don’t go do anything stupid.
Don’t provoke anyone and don’t go looking for trouble; I’ll handle Marty’s
death.”

I gulped. “Yes sir.”

“If it makes you feel better,
I’ll let you know my good friend, and subsequently your dad’s good friend, Knox
is helping me. He’s a Tracker, which means he can locate and judge a gift
that’s been recently used. He can help narrow down the suspects and even find
people with certain gifts. I’m hoping it’ll speed us along.”

I sighed with relief. Surely
Knox would find out who did it so Sheffield could handle the situation.
“Thanks. That does make me feel better.”

He nodded at me; I turned the
handle and bolted out of his camper. I practically ran back to my camper, my
thoughts chaotic. Too many emotions ran through me—excited yet terrified
for my own act; fear over the anger and mutiny I was sure to face from
everyone; curious as to how I would go about clearing my name from murder; and
finally, a solid determination to stand above it all.

I didn’t get here because of my
father; Sheffield made that clear. And this was what I wanted. It just happened
to be a little sooner than I expected. I figured it would be months, maybe even
years, before I got my own act, but I knew that eventually I would want one.
There had never been anything else when I imagined my future. I had wanted this
before my parents dragged me away years ago; it was all I dreamt about during high
school geometry classes. My parents’ deaths weren’t the best way to get here,
but at least that was my bright side to the whole terrible situation.

Chapter
16

The next morning, Gabriel
invited me to lunch. To avoid being overheard, we sat in the grass under a
large tree that stood away from the picnic area.

“So did you find anything out?”
I asked before he’d even gotten a bite into his sandwich.

“Can I at least eat first,
dummy?” I looked up at him to protest his new term of affection and saw the
smile tugging at the corners of his lips…that I now wanted to kiss. I shook it
off and tried to pass off a sigh of annoyance instead.

“Fine, but hurry up.”

“Why, you afraid Wonder Boy is
gonna see us together and get jealous?” He flashed me a grin.

“Why do I think you’d enjoy
that?”