Gifts of Desire (27 page)

             
“
Ceann
?”

             
He turned abruptly, dropping his hands.  When he saw her, h
e went rigid, his face
dark and stormy
.  Stalking over to her, h
e reached around and slammed the door closed
behind her back
.  She
gasped
at the
ferocity of that single action
.

             
“Where were
you
?” he
said
through gritted teeth.

             
“Where was I when?”
she ask
ed
.

             
“
You
were outside the castle gates, I
saw
you
return.”

             
Was that what had him so angry?
  “
But
I had a guard with me
.
  And I didn’t
try to escape
”
, she told him
,
still
trying to decipher his strange behavior
.

             
He reached for her, grasping her
roughly
by
the shoulders.  “I
saw
that
you
had a guard with
you
!” He growled.  Then he pulled her closer and said almost in a whisper
“
What is he to
you
?”

             
She sucked in a breath
as his fingers dug into her flesh, and a
little
thrill blossomed in her chest. 
Jealous.  He’s jealou
s
!
He had seen her with Colin and thought
that they
… 
Oh
,
m
aybe there is hope after al
l!
  She shrugged
nonchalantly
, trying not to smile
in the face of his obvious rage
.  “
Colin is
a guard. 
You
said I must have one when I leave the ca
stle gates.  That’
s because
you
don’t
trust me”, she added
in reminder
.

             
“Why s
hould I trust
you
?” he
bellowed, taking a step back and releasing her to throw his arms wide in a gesture of frustration.
“
You
won’t
even tell me who
you
are
, damn it
!  A
nd then
you
tease
and torment me until I kiss
you
against my better
judgment
.  God!  I’m only a man, and a man has limits of his restraint!  A
nd
now I see
you
trying to do
the same to my guard!”

             
Oh, now he was making her angry, whether or not his words were driven by jealousy.
 
Against his better judgment?
 
Teasing
Colin?
 
Her hands drew into fists and she clenched her
teeth. 
This time it was she that took a step forward. 
“I tease and torment
you
? 
You
think that’s what I’m doing? 
You
brought me here!
 
You
are keeping me here!
 
You
won’t let me leave the castle without a guard!  And”, she add
ed, just to make him angry, “
I don’t belong to you; I can
kiss whomever I please!
  
Y
ou
can
’t
tell me who I may or may not kiss!
”  With a frustrated growl, she pummeled
his chest
with her fist
, with very little effect, until he grabbed both her wrists in one hand and held them up above her head. 

             
Furious, s
he started to raise her knee to kick him in the groin, but he twisted her arms behind her back and
in one smooth motion
shoved her face down onto the bed, landing
hard
on top
of
her. 
The air
left her lungs with a whoosh.
The entire lengths of their bodies were pressed together
now
, and
Ella
struggled against his crushing weight.  Her struggles only made him hold her tighter, and so finally she stopped, only to
feel
that his desire pushed hard and hot against her, and his breathing was shallow and rapid in her ear. 
The heat of his body seeped through her clothing, and h
er rage of moments before melted away
like the tide
to be replaced by
a thrill of awareness
, pooling low in her belly.  She could hear the pounding of her own heart echoing
loud and fast
where her ear was pressed
against the mattress.  God, w
hat would
he do now?  Her breath hitched;
she was entirely at his mercy.
  She knew what she wanted him to do, right or wrong, more than anything.  She felt herself arching up
just a little
, pushing back against him, her body acting of its own accor
d.  He exhaled sharply
.

             
Go
d
!
  He had never felt like this,
passion pounding in his blood
so strongly he could barely think.  N
ever
had he
been so close to taking a woman
at all costs
, willing or not,
and
certainly
never
against his
own
will.  He could not pull himself away from her, he could not.  He only wanted to be closer.  He wanted to tear her clothes from her body and taste every inch of her skin and bury himself deep inside and stay there forever.
  He pressed his lips to her nape, inhaling her scent, his body trembling with the restraint
that
he barely held on to.  His free hand slipped under her chest and found her breast, squeezing gently.  Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to take her,
claim
her.
  His need pulsed hot and hard against her, the
fierce
urge to thrust almost unbearable.
  A soft moan escaped his lips.
 

             
But then he remembered.  No, h
e
forced
himself to remember
why he hadn’t married, why he
wouldn’t
marry.  Even if
Ella
wanted him now, he had seen the way she was with the other women’s children.  When she found out he really couldn’t give her a child of her own, that t
he curse was more than just an
auld
tale, she would leave him,
just like Brigid,
and he would not be able to bear it.  Summoning every ounce of strength he possessed,
and some he did not know he had,
he pulled away from her,
lumbering
clumsily
from the bed and walking to the door, the pain of his unsatisfied lust nearly as great as the pain in his heart.  W
ithout looking back,
he
left the room and shut the door behind him.  He leaned back against the
hard, cool oak of the
closed door for a moment,
taking deep breaths and
trying to compose himself enough to go back down to th
e hall.  But his flesh would not cease to burn.

Chapter 11

             
Ceann
had plenty of
time to consider everything on the day-long ride to
Briding
.  He was so sullen and silent that even the men usually
quite
tolerant of his m
oods left him alone.  And Ethan;
he had abandoned him too, to ride beside some pretty wench farther back in the train of horses.  But there was
Ella
, just ahead of him, where he could see her straight slim back and rounded hips that swayed with the
gait
of the horse.  And her silky golden blond hair, tied back loosely and blowing in the soft breeze.  For what must be the thousandth time, he wondered about her.  He wondered where she had come from and why he had found her
on her own
.  He
even
wondered if she was
still a virgin
, though he had no right
.  He thought not;
she didn’t have
any maidenly shyness about her. 
Her
touch was sure and confident, as if
her hands belonged on him.
 
Was she a widow
then
?  He hoped so, because he was not so sure he could stop himself from
harming
any man who claimed to be her husband.
A
nd
, he reflected,
she
certainly
knew how to kiss
.  When he
had
kissed her he would
have
rather die
d
than let her go.  But the idea of her h
aving
kissed another man,
lain with another man,
made him
furious
.  If he knew who the man was that had been first to touch her, he would kill him
, even though he had no right to such feelings
.  And if he didn’t kill him for touching her, he would kill him for leaving her alone and unprotected.  That brought him back to wondering whether
or not
she was a spy, and so by the time they reached
Briding
, everyone was giving
their laird
a
very
wide
quarter
.

             
They rode into the meadow
outside the village
of
Briding
at supper, and there was still
plenty of
time to set up camp before dark.
All around, other clans had already laid claim to areas where they had erected
their
tents and sat now around
the
cooking fires while children ran and played.  Still others were just arriving, as they were.  Here and there a joyful shout rang out as reunions took pla
ce, and groups of giggling lasses
stood at the edges of the camps, no doubt prospecting for husbands among the eligible young men.  Someone had begun to play the pipes, and the lively music seemed to make everyone’s work go faster. 
Robbie
set up
the
small tent that she and Mairi were to share, and t
hey moved their things into it
and set out their bed rolls
before going off to explore. 
Ella had never in her life seen so many people gathered in one place, and her eyes darted everywhere, trying to take everything in.  Truly she had led a rather sheltered life up until now.  Grabbing Mairi by the hand, she dragged her off to mingle with the crowds. 
Ceann
was nowhere to be seen; he had disappeared as soon as they’d arrived. P
robably off meeting with other lairds, she thought.  But
luckily
he had not told her she couldn’t walk
freely
around the gathering. 

             
After awhile t
hey went to find Mair
i’s aunt and cousins, who shared their dinner with the two girls
,
and gave them some spiced wine.  They
chatted
h
appily, catching up on the news while Ella listened.
She closed her eyes for a moment
to
let
the
lively
music
fill her head, b
ut
quickly opened them again when she felt someone watching her.  She
looked up to see a man she recognized as a
MacKenzie
, a
nd another man she did not know; they were
looking
right at her.  She stiffened and nudged Mairi.  The men were too far away, she couldn’t hear what they said, but the way the stranger looked at her
made her
uneasy
.  “Who is that?” she whispered,
motioning with her chin while
pretending to look at the fire.