Girl of Mine (18 page)

Jill’s eyebrows knit. “His dad died in the plane accident. Wait, I don’t understand. Troy said he hurt his legs after a chainsaw accident while building the tree house with his dad. How’s that possible?”

“The tree house was built by Troy and his dad, and me and my dad, when Troy and I were about nine years old. That’s not how Troy hurt his legs. That’s just what he tells people. It’s always been what he tells people.”

“Then how . . .” Realization dawned on Jill. “Oh no.”

Luke closed his eyes and ran his hands over his face. He continued with his story, his expression haunted and his voice low.

18

Luke and Troy
December 1987

Fifteen Years Earlier

“Lucas? Lucas? Wake up now, sweetheart. Open your eyes, son. You can do it.”

He knew that voice. It was his mom. His mom? How could she be here? He and Troy, they were stuck on a mountain, waiting for a rescue plane. Except he didn’t feel cold anymore, he felt warm. Was he dreaming? Luke forced his eyes open, which seemed like an amazing accomplishment.

“Mom? Dad?”

“Yes, Luke.”

His mom was crying, almost sobbing, and his dad wiped away a tear too.

“You’re in the hospital, son. Your leg is broken, but you’re going to be all right.” His dad’s voice sounded like the best thing he’d ever heard.

“You’ve been sleeping for three days and I thought you’d never wake up,” his mom sobbed, leaning down and kissing his forehead several times. He didn’t really like it when his mom got all mushy with her hugs and kisses, but he felt so happy to see her, he didn’t mind just this once.

Luke looked down and saw his leg wrapped in a heavy cast, from his thigh down to his foot. He felt weak, like moving his body took so much effort.

“You lost a lot of blood, that’s why you feel so weak. You also developed an infection. Once the doctors got some antibiotics pumping into you, you responded quickly, thank goodness,” his dad told him.

His mom was still crying. She held his hand in hers and squeezed it now and then. “You had surgery. You have some pins holding the bones in your leg together. Don’t fret, your leg will be as good as new real soon, sweetheart.”

Confusion overwhelmed him. It was so much to take in at once. His memories started to return and he asked, “Where’s Troy?” His tongue felt like cotton.

His dad looked uncomfortable. “He’s here too, son. He’s recovering from a concussion. He hit his head pretty hard. He’s going to be . . . o-okay.”

“Okay? What do you mean, just okay?” His mom and dad exchanged a weird look between them and Luke knew something was wrong. Very wrong. “What’s wrong? Tell me. Tell me right now.”

“Calm down, son, calm down.” His dad patted his shoulder and sat down at his bedside. With his mom and dad on either side of him, he felt safe and protected. After what he’d been through, it felt amazing.

“Troy’s dad?” Luke asked.

“They found the wreckage of the plane. The Emergency Transmitter had malfunctioned. Search parties had been out looking for you guys since the moment the crash was reported. They found . . . Mr. Kelley.” His dad paused and swallowed as if his throat was very dry. “His funeral will be held in a few days when . . .”

“When what?”

“When Troy is doing better.”

“What’s wrong with Troy?” Luke asked. “He was fine. I mean, he hurt his head, but that’s all.”

His dad breathed in and out heavily as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. “How much do you remember, Luke?”

“It’s kinda blurry. Troy put me on something and he dragged me around till he found help. The pain in my leg, it was real bad and I kept passing out. I don’t remember much.”

“That’s just as well. Troy constructed a bed made of branches and cord. He saved your life, Luke. He tied you to it and dragged you out, pulling you all the way.”

“It didn’t take him long. He’s fast.”

“It took him around ten hours, Luke.”

“Ten hours? It was that long?”

“Thank your lucky stars you were unconscious for most of it.” His mom pulled out a tissue and blew her nose. “Thank goodness for Troy. He saved your life. And kept you safe from a hungry wolf.”

“The wolf was real?” Luke remembered the chilling sound of a low growl. He’d wondered if he’d been hallucinating.

“Yes, son. According to Troy, it was traveling alone. It must have separated from the pack somehow. He stalked you and Troy, but never had the courage to attack.”

“I remember Troy yelling at it.”

“He was very brave.” His dad went on, as if in a hurry to change the subject. “The snow was quite deep and the temperature was below freezing . . .”

“But Troy’s okay, right? You just said he’ll be doing better real soon.”

“Luke . . . he was only wearing tennis shoes . . .”

“So. They were his running shoes. They’re really good shoes.” Troy could run like the wind in his running shoes. Luke had never been as fast as him.

“Yes, they’re good shoes, but they don’t protect against the cold and he was walking in the snow for hours and hours . . .” His dad didn’t seem to be able to say the words.

“He has frostbite, Luke,” his mother blurted. “He lost his toes and part of his heels.”

“He lost them?” What did that mean? His toes were lost and they had to go back and find them?

His dad found his voice. “They had to amputate his toes, son. And parts of his heels.”

The doctors cut off Troy’s toes? And heels? They cut them off? They’re gone? Forever? WHAT?

Luke leaned over the bed and retched horribly. There wasn’t anything in his stomach to come up.

He needed to see Troy. He needed to see him right now. Troy was going to be so upset . . . and mad and devastated.

“They’ll make him special shoes and he’ll be able to walk again. He’ll probably limp, but he will walk.”

“Will he run? Will he be able to run?” Luke asked. Running meant the world to Troy. It was all he talked about, all he lived for. He wanted to run track like his dad did in high school. He wanted to jump hurdles. He wanted to win trophies.

His dad shook his head sorrowfully. “No, Luke. He won’t be able to run.”

“Ever?”

“Ever. All that matters is that he is alive and he’s going to be fine.”

“No, Dad, no. That’s not all that matters.”

His dad patted his shoulder again in an attempt to console him.

“I need to see Troy. Can I go see him? Please?”

“Maybe in a day or two.”

“No, right now. I need to see him right now. He’s gonna be so upset. You don’t understand.”

They didn’t let him go see Troy. Not until the next day. They transferred him to a wheelchair and wheeled him down a long corridor. Irate shouting met his ears as they approached Troy’s room.

“No. I don’t wanna talk to anybody! Go away and leave me alone!” he heard Troy yell. He sounded mad and Luke felt sick.

Troy’s mom stood outside of his room, talking to a reporter and his cameraman.

“Please, ma’am. We’d like to feature your son on the evening news. We understand he’s a hero. We’d love to share his story.”

“I’m sorry. He doesn’t want to see anyone right now. Please leave us alone. We need some time to ourselves to recover. Please respect our wishes.” Troy’s mom dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

A determined looking nurse approached with a security guard in tow.

“Those two. They refuse to leave,” the nurse spouted.

An overbearing security guard took over. “Gonna have to ask you gentlemen to leave.” The security guard escorted them out of the building while the men complained about freedom of speech.

“Oh, Madelaine,” Mrs. Kelley exclaimed as she hugged his mom tightly while they both cried. Luke’s dad rubbed his mom’s back.

Luke grabbed the wheels of the wheelchair and rolled himself in. Troy lay on the bed, both of his feet propped up and heavily bandaged. “Troy?”

Troy opened his eyes and turned a hard gaze on him. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. He looked angry, real angry. Like so-mad-he-was-about-to-explode angry.

“You okay?” Luke asked.

Troy didn’t answer, but his chest moved up and down like he was breathing fast.

“I’m sorry ‘bout your feet.”

Troy frowned and said nothing.

“Thanks for getting me off that mountain.”

Troy scoffed.

Luke knew Troy was very, very upset and he wasn’t really sure what to say. “I don’t remember much, except you were taking care of me.”

Troy’s mouth puckered into a tight frown like he was trying real hard to not cry or something.

“I remember being real cold, but you kept the fire going and I felt warm. Thanks for that.”

Troy’s eyes shot daggers at him and Luke didn’t know how to respond.

Finally, he asked again, “You okay?”

“Do I look okay?” Troy hit the bed with his fist. “I’m never gonna run again. I’m not even gonna walk normal. I’m gonna be a freak. Like I-could-be-in-the-circus kind of freak.”

“No you’re not, Troy. You’re a hero. You saved my life, you . . .”

Troy’s head whipped toward him, his eyes glaring and fierce. He seemed out of breath, as if he’d just run one of his races, and his nostrils flared. Luke had never seen Troy look like that. “You know what, Luke? If I had known what would happen to me, if I had known I would become a freak,
I wouldn’t have done it
,” he said through gritted teeth.

Luke felt his blood rush to his head.

“Do you hear me? I would NOT have done it!” Troy rasped.

Luke swallowed, feeling as though someone had just hit him in the head with a hammer. Troy had saved him, and in so doing he’d lost his toes and his heels. How do you lose your heels? Luke’s stomach churned. Troy was right, it was gross and freaky. And now Troy wished he hadn’t saved him. “Troy, you don’t mean that. Don’t say that.”

“I should have left you on that mountain,” Troy said, his face scrunched up and mean. “I could’ve hiked down real fast. My feet would’ve been
fine
.”

“Troy, please . . .”

“Don’t tell anyone, Luke. I don’t want anyone to know about my feet. I don’t want anyone to know about my toes. Promise!” Troy’s tone was harsh and demanding.

“Troy . . .”

Troy interrupted, not letting Luke say a word. “If you ever tell anyone what I did, I swear I will hate you for the rest of my life. Don’t you ever tell anyone, Luke. Anyone. Swear it!”

“Stop it. You’re a hero, Troy. Everyone is so proud of you and what you did, and I . . .”

“I don’t wanna be a hero. I don’t wanna be on the news. I don’t want people to know I’m a freak. I don’t want people to feel sorry for the weirdo with no toes. Swear you will never tell anyone, Luke. Swear it to me right now!”

“Troy, it won’t be like that, please . . .”

“Swear it!” Troy demanded.

“I swear it.” Luke felt like his insides had just been ripped out. He didn’t understand Troy. Not at all.

That’s okay, Troy, I’ve got your light.

The words suddenly entered his mind and refused to leave. It was his turn to guard Troy’s light. Clearly, he’d lost it somewhere on the mountain. He wouldn’t let him down.

His parents and Troy’s mom rushed in then. They seemed oblivious to the tension in the room.

“Oh good, the two of you are already talking. Luke needed to see you, Troy. He needed to see that you were all right,” his dad said, his hands on both of Luke’s shoulders, patting them in a consoling fashion. Then he playfully ruffled his hair like he did sometimes.

Troy scowled, his eyes following the motions of Luke’s father’s hands. He jerked his head away from them. “I don’t want to see anyone. Get out.”

“Troy,” his mom said. “Please . . .”

“GET OUT!” Troy yelled. “GO AWAY! GO AWAY AND DON’T COME BACK!”

19

Luke and Jill
April 2003

Present Day

Jill quietly sobbed, heartbroken for Troy. For Luke. For the tragedy that had occurred in their lives. “He saved you, but in the process he felt as though he’d lost his life and his dreams.”

Luke nodded, his expression riddled with guilt. After all these years, it was obvious that a form of survivor guilt had never diminished or lessened in its intensity.

“Troy felt as though he’d been punished for doing something good. He was only twelve and not mature enough to reason it out,” Luke said wearily.