Give in to Me (18 page)

“Oh, God…please don’t stop…” she groaned above me, her pleas making me want her even more. Her fingernails dug into my neck as her cunt tightened around my fingers, and in seconds, her release raged through her. Bucking and grinding against my mouth, she rode my tongue as if she depended on it for her very happiness.

Against her trembling pussy, I moaned, “Let yourself go, baby. Don’t hold back.”

She wrapped her legs around my neck, crushing my head between them until all I breathed was her. But I didn’t care. If I died right there at that moment, I would have died a happy man. Her pleasure was everything.

When her body finally stopped shaking from her orgasm, I eased back onto my heels to look at her sated expression. Licking her lips, she smiled. “God, I’ve fantasized about that for months. I love that tongue of yours. You know that?”

I ran my finger up her moist slit to her swollen nub and grinned. “Then that must mean we’re meant for each other because I love going down on you. See? A perfect match.”

Crooking her finger, she said, “Come up here, and you should be naked already.”

I slid up her body and kissed her hard on the mouth, my tongue snaking in and out to tease the tip of her tongue. Her fingers fumbled with my zipper, tearing at it as my cock ached to feel her touch. Finally past the last barrier between us, she tugged my pants down my thighs and wrapped her fingers around my stiff cock.

“No more waiting. I want you inside me,” she whimpered as I ran the swollen head of my cock over her needy clit. “Please…Tristan, give me what I need.”

Denying her was impossible, even if I wanted to, which I didn’t. I wanted to devour her, to take everything she was into me so if I ever had to be without her again, I wouldn’t suffer like I had for months. She silenced my demons and created new ones to take their place—new ones ten times as powerful that threatened to take me over now.

I needed her. I wanted her. I couldn’t do without her.

I felt my control slipping away. With each touch of her hands on my body, she seared herself into me, stripping every defense I’d worked years to perfect from my mind until all that was left was her everywhere in my thoughts.

My mouth covered hers seeking the feel of her tongue against mine. I loved that mouth—that mouth that had questioned me so often with words that held me responsible for my actions. Those lips and tongue that brought my body pleasure greater than anything I’d ever thought possible. I wanted to possess that mouth that I’d made her kiss another man with and claim it as only for me.

Nina slid her hands over my back until they came to rest just below my hips, and she pulled me into her, tilting her hips to take all of me. I slid into her hot body so willing and eager for me and thrust hard until there was no space between us. She moaned a tiny noise as the base of my cock touched her slick pussy, her body arching to accommodate all of me.

I buried my face in softness of her neck and reared my hips back to plunge into her again. The demons she’d created spurred me on, screaming in my brain to claim her so no other man could ever see her and not know every beautiful and gentle inch of her was mine. I struggled to hold them back, but they controlled me, and I pushed into her over and over, harder and harder each time trying to force out all the pain I caused her.

My hands slid up her arms and pinning them above her head, I weaved our fingers together, needing as much to have her hold me as I wanted to hold her. Wrapping her legs around my waist, she stared up into my eyes as her body matched each plunge of my cock into her with a desire for more.

The intensity of her need surprised me, and I slowed my pace, not wanting to rush toward the moment each of us craved but to savor the journey we shared. Her heels dug into my spine and she groaned, “I don’t want it slow and easy. Show me you were desperate without me like I was without you.”

Her words set my mind and body on fire, and I released my hold on her to flip her over onto her stomach. Pulling her by her hips, I set her on her knees in front of me and thrust my cock into her cunt. There was no more me or her. Just us starved for one another.

Our need spurred our fucking to a place it had never been before. I slid in and out of her faster and faster, pistoning into her as she moaned into the pillow. The gentle squeezing of my cock told me she was close, but I wasn’t ready to let this moment go yet. Slowing down, I eased out of her and leaned down to gently wrap my hand around her neck. In her ear, I whispered, “I want this night to last forever. I want to fuck you until you know how much I can’t live without you.”

In a tender voice that hit me deep inside, she said the only word that could undo me. “Yes.”

No other words came between us now.

Pushing back against me, she silently begged for me to fulfill my promise. In seconds, I was balls-deep inside her again, thrusting and retreating from her cunt until neither of us could hold back anymore. She came first, her body milking my cock with its sweet tightening as her orgasm tore through her. Before she was finished, I felt my own release begin and pulled her up against me as I came inside her, the sweet sound of her cries of pleasure mingling with my panting until we collapsed onto the bed together.

When we finally were able to speak, she wiped my sweat drenched hair from my forehead and whispered against my cheek, “I missed you so much.”

I pulled her close to me and held her in my arms, loving the feel of her next to me. Her body fit against mine perfectly, meant for me and me alone. She nuzzled my neck, her warm breath tickling my skin, and I spoke the words I’d held in all those months as I read her texts full of love and anger.

“Don’t make me live without you. I can’t do it, Nina.”

She looked up at me with a gentle gaze, and I saw my life in her eyes. “I promise.”

Chapter Twelve

Nina

Opening my eyes, I squinted from the morning light and rolled over in Tristan’s full size bed, crashing into him and waking him up. Looking down at me, he gave me a sleepy grin. “I forgot how sleeping with you is like bumper cars.”

Propping my head up, I rolled my eyes. “Says the man who rarely spends the whole night next to me. Are you saying I move around a lot when I sleep?”

He smirked and looked left and right to prove his point. “Well, not usually this bad, but then again, we’re usually in a much bigger bed.”

“Yeah, yeah. Aren’t you Mr. Romance this morning?”

Tristan pulled me close and nuzzled my neck. “Even with you taking up all the room and stealing the covers, I’d rather be here than anywhere else on Earth.” Looking up at me, he smiled. “Better?”

I gently pressed my lips to his and whispered, “Much.”

We laid there for a long time, silent except for the sound of the two of us breathing, but my mind raced with questions and confessions I knew I couldn’t keep inside me for much longer. Our reunion reinforced in me how much I loved him, but this was a fresh start for us and I didn’t want it based on lies or misunderstandings.

I had to know he wasn’t the Tristan I’d seen that night at Top, and I had to tell him about Gage.

Tracing my fingertip over the tattoo above his heart, I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Forcing a smile onto my lips, I sat up and began. “Tristan, I want us to be completely honest with one another. I need to know a few things and have some things to tell you. It’s important to me that this time we’re truthful with everything.”

He knitted his brows as he always did when he was concerned and turned to face me. “Things to tell me? Like what?”

“I’d rather begin with what I need to know from you. Like, for example, I need to know that whatever was going on with you at Top that night I found you there isn’t going to be a part of our life together. I can handle a lot of things, Tristan, but being in love with a cokehead isn’t one of them. I need to know that isn’t going to be part of us from now on.”

His expression softened, but his eyes filled with pain. “I’m sorry about that, Nina. That’s not who I am or want to be. Coke was a way for me to lose myself for a long time. I’m not going to lie. I got lost in that again when I was away from you, but I made a choice to not be that person.”

“Okay. Now I need you to promise me you’ll tell me the truth, no matter how awful it is. I know you like to handle things on your own and think you have to protect me, but we won’t work if you lie to me.”

Shaking his head, he grimaced. “I can’t promise all of that. I love you, Nina, and to me that means I’m supposed to protect you. The world you’re in now is full of people who would think nothing about hurting someone to get ahead. I’m going to shield you from that as much as I can, but if I can’t, then I’ll protect you from it, and that might mean not telling you everything.”

His insistence on protecting me like I was some unknowing child filled me with frustration. I just didn’t know if I could be that kind of girlfriend and someday, wife. Sighing, I shook my head. “Why do you think I always need protecting? I’m not a little girl, Tristan. I’m a grown woman who knows the man I love. Do you think I don’t understand people at your level?”

“It’s not like that and you know it. This has nothing to do with social class. It has to do with me protecting the woman I love, Nina. Why is that so bad?”

“Because it gives you carte blanche to lie to me! We just spent all those months apart and now you’re telling me you can’t promise you won’t continue to lie. How can we be together like that?”

He sat up and leaned against the headboard, pushing the hair out of his eyes. “Nina, I can’t change who I am in this. I’m not the bad guy because I won’t dump all the shit in my world on you. Most women want a man to protect them.”

“From bad guys and people wanting to kill them. Not from everything else. I just want you to say to me that you’ll treat me like a full partner in this relationship and not some second class citizen who’s forced to react when you make decisions and I have to deal with them.”

“This is about me leaving you alone for months.”

My mouth fell open. “Of course it’s about that! You left me here, all alone, and never once answered any of my messages. All those times when I was missing you so much all I wanted to do was curl up in bed with one of your shirts, I texted you and waited for you to answer but you never did.”

“I couldn’t answer, Nina. I was trying to protect you.”

“Again with the protecting me! Would it have been any less protection for me if I was with you, wherever you were, so you could keep me safe and not break my heart?”

I tried to stop the tears from coming, but it was no use. After the sweetness of our reunion the night before, the reality of how much he’d hurt me was right there in front of us in the harsh light of day. I couldn’t go on with Tristan if our life together was going to be like this.

He took my hand and squeezed it gently. “I know I keep making these mistakes. That you’ve stayed with me this long still amazes me. I hate that what I do makes you sad. I just don’t know any other way to be.”

Wiping the tears away, I looked at him sitting there, his beautiful eyes so full of sadness. There had to be some way to make him see what I meant. “I love that you want to protect me. If there’s ever a time that someone’s trying to mug me or kidnap me, I want you to jump in and rescue me. But you’re not keeping me safe when you leave me in the dark. I sat in that house surrounded by people and barely alive because I missed you so much. You left me and I didn’t know why. Was it me? I didn’t know. It doesn’t matter if I have bodyguards if you’re the one who keeps hurting me by breaking my heart.”

“I’m sorry. I never meant to do that. I did what I thought would keep you safe, but now I see that I’m the one who was hurting you the most. I’m sorry, Nina.”

He looked away, but I gently tugged his face back toward me. “I just need you to promise you’ll protect me from the bad guys but still tell me about things. I want to be your wife, not some childish girl you keep around.”

Closing his eyes, he said quietly, “I promise. No more keeping things from you.” He opened them and stared into mine with a gaze so direct I feared what he might say next. “I lied and hid things out of fear that if you knew about them, you’d never stay with me. I just want you to know that I come with a lot of fucked up shit. I didn’t know if you’d want to be my wife knowing all of it.”

I cradled his face and pressed my forehead to his. “I know what you are, Tristan Stone. No matter what bad things you think you have inside you, I know the man you are is good and kind. I love you, and that means all of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly.”

He nodded and for the first time in our conversation, smiled. “I love you. I always have, Nina. From that first night we drove up the Taconic, you’ve been the one person I knew I couldn’t deal with losing.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Tristan. I promise.”

He leaned back away from me, and I saw the icy veil he wore so often descend over his features. “So what things do you have to tell me?”

“What’s that face for?” I teased, nervous about what I had to tell him.

“I’m just wondering what else you have to say.”

He wasn’t stupid. He knew I had something to confess in addition to everything else we’d already talked about. It was probably written all over my face. Swallowing hard, I said, “Just one more thing. About that kiss with Gage…”