Give Us a Chance (22 page)

"We should go. I want to hear him play. I heard he's really good."

"We'll go some other time. We're not exactly in the best shape to be going out." I motion to my damp jeans.

"You could change clothes, then take me to my place so I can change."

"I don't feel like going out tonight. It's late and it takes forever to get there." I bring her into my arms. "And I'd rather be alone with you. Watching Fast and the Furious and seeing what else you're going to do in your attempt to get me naked."

She laughs. "Okay, stop it. That was not what I was trying to do."

"I didn't say I had a problem with it."

"Let's just go watch the movie." She takes my hand and drags me back to the couch.

The potato chips are still all over it. "I need to clean this up." I get the vacuum from the closet and Ivy watches as I vacuum up the chips on the floor, then use the hose attachment to suck up the ones on the couch.

When I'm done and join her on the couch she says, "I didn't know you were so domestic. Do you also dust and clean bathrooms?" she asks jokingly.

"I can't afford a maid, so yeah."

"Well, you do a really good job. Your place is cleaner than mine."

"It's what I'm used to. My dad doesn't like a dirty house." Shit, I didn't mean to say that.

"What does your dad have to do with it?"

Why did I bring this up? Way to bring the mood down, Jake. I'm such an idiot sometimes. I could lie, but why bother? I'm over it now. It was a long time ago.

"After my mom died, my dad kind of shut down," I say. "He got really depressed and wouldn't come out of his room. Actually, he stayed in Nash's room because he couldn't stand to be in the room he used to share with my mom." I pause. "Don't ever tell him I told you this, okay? It's not like it's a secret, but it's not something my dad likes to talk about."

She nods. "Yeah, I understand. Go ahead."

"Nash had moved out by then, so I was the oldest kid living at home. That meant I got stuck with all the responsibilities. Cooking, cleaning, driving Austin everywhere. Luckily, Bryce had his license so he helped out with Austin. Anyway, in the rare times my dad left his room, he'd freaking blow up if the house wasn't clean. My mom always kept a clean house, so seeing it a mess was just a reminder that she wasn't around. So I learned how to clean and tried to keep it as spotless as I could."

"How old were you?" she asks softly, her voice laced with concern.

"Seventeen, almost eighteen. I was a senior in high school."

"That's a lot of responsibility for someone that age."

"Yeah. It was. But I don't blame my dad. He's apologized a million times for acting the way he did back then, but he couldn't help it. She was the love of his life and when she died, a part of him died with her."

Which is why I will never have a relationship like that. I can't. Not after seeing what my dad went through. There's no fucking way I could go through that.

"How is he now?" Ivy asks.

"Better. It's been almost six years so he's had time to deal with his grief, get through all the holidays, birthdays...all those days that remind him of what he's lost."

"And how about you?" She takes my hand.

I pause, my gaze landing on the coffee table. "I miss her. I miss her a lot. It was so sudden. Completely unexpected. I never thought I'd lose my mom when I was in high school. That shit's not supposed to happen. She was supposed to see us get married, have kids."

Things I'll never do. Before she died, I wanted that stuff. Marriage, kids, a house. All that. But having those things means finding a woman I love enough to marry, and I won't let myself love someone like that. Because if I lose her, it'll hurt too damn much. I saw what my dad went through and that's not going to be me. It's never going to happen. But that doesn't mean I can't date, and at least let myself feel
something
for a woman. Something like I feel for Ivy.

She's quiet and I look over and see her head is down.

"Ivy?" I lift her chin up and see tears falling down her cheeks. "What's wrong?"

She wipes her face with the back of her hand. "Sorry. It's just that thing you said about your mom not seeing you get married and have kids. I feel the same way. Now that I'm older, I think about it all the time. Someday I'll get married and she won't be there. And she'll never meet her grandkids."

I bring her into my arms. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of that. I wasn't even thinking. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It's okay." She sniffles, lifting her head up to look at me. "I like that I can talk to you about this and you understand. Most people don't. They can't imagine losing a parent when you're just a kid, like we did."

"You were younger than me. At least I had my mom until I was 17. How old were you? Ten?"

"Eleven. But unlike
you, at least I knew it was coming. We had some time to prepare. After she died, my dad grieved, but he didn't break down. My mom made him promise he wouldn't. So after she was gone, he was there for us. He took us to school every day and picked us up. He had to leave work early so he could be home with us after school. We had almost no money back then but it didn't matter. We didn't need money. We needed each other." She wipes the tears off her cheeks. "Sorry, I don't usually cry like this. It was years ago. I'm supposed to be over it."

"I don't think we're ever completely over it. We just learn to go on."

It's true. I'm not over my mom dying. I tell myself I am, but I'm not. Her death messed me up. I don't know if it's because of my age at the time, or the fact that I had to watch my dad suffer, or what, but after she died, I shut off my feelings, deciding never to let anyone in my heart except for the people who were already there. My dad and my brothers. That's it. My family.

I love my family and would do anything for them, and if I lost one of them, it would nearly kill me. But I know it could happen to any one of us at any time. That's just life and it sucks and it's the reason I don't want to ever fall in love. I'm not willing to love a woman only to risk losing her.

"Is it hard for you?" Ivy asks, her head on my shoulder, her hand on my chest.

"Sometimes," I admit, "but I try not to think about it."

"Me too. But then something happens that makes you want so badly for the person to be there and it hurts, you know?"

"Yeah." I tug her closer and kiss the top of her head.

"Like in high school, my dad took me shopping for a prom dress. It was really sweet of him to do that, but God, I wanted my mom there so bad. Liza felt the same way when she went to get hers. I went with her and we both cried in the dressing room. We never told my dad that. We didn't want him ever feeling like he wasn't enough for us, but sometimes a girl just needs her mom."

"I'm sorry, Ivy." I smooth her hair. "I'm sorry she wasn't there."

She looks up at me. "And I'm sorry your mom's no longer here. She'd be proud of you, Jake. The way you help your dad. And the company. And your brothers. She'd be really proud."

Fuck. She's making me tear up. No one's ever said that to me. My dad tells me he's proud of me but he doesn't mention my mom. I've never even thought about what my mom would think of me if she were alive, but thinking about it now, I think she'd be disappointed. She wouldn't want me sleeping around, being with a different girl every night. She'd want me to find someone to love. A girl who's kind and caring and easy to talk to. Someone who makes me laugh and makes me want to be a better person. Someone who understands me.

Someone like Ivy.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Ivy

I wake up to find myself wrapped in Jake's arms. We're both lying on the couch. I don't even remember falling asleep. It must've happened while I was watching the end of the movie.

"Jake?" I nudge him awake.

"Yeah," he mumbles, his voice groggy.

"It's late. I better get home."

"What time is it?"

"I don't know." I reach for my phone, which is on the coffee table, and check the time. "It's three thirty."

"Just go to sleep. It's too late to take you home."

"But—"

"Go to sleep, Ivy," he mutters, holding me closer as he kisses the top of my head.

So I guess I'm staying. I'm spending the night with Jake Wheeler. Without having sex. And he's my boyfriend. I still can't figure out how this happened. A week ago, if you told me I'd be spending next Saturday night with my boyfriend, Jake Wheeler, I would've told you you were crazy. But now that I know him, it doesn't seem that crazy. In fact, I'm starting to think we're kind of perfect for each other. We have a lot in common, we can talk for hours, we have major chemistry, and we like spending time together.

The only problem is that I still don't trust him not to cheat on me. A guy like him doesn't change who he is in a week. He's been Mr. One-Night-Stand for years, so I find it hard to believe he can give that up and settle down with just one woman. But like I told him, I'm willing to give him a chance because I really like being with him. This past week has been great, especially tonight. I liked just being here at his apartment, watching movies and talking.

I've never talked with a guy about my mom. I've tried, but as soon as I start, the guy cuts me off, not wanting to hear about someone's dead mother. Even Ryker wouldn't listen to me. But Jake did, because he understands. When he told me about his own mom, and what happened after she died, it was like I was seeing a whole different side of him. The vulnerable side that he normally tries to hide. And yet he showed it to me. So I opened up to him as well, and I felt like we grew closer by sharing the hurt we still carry around from losing a parent.

Cuddled up next to him, I fall back asleep and wake up at eight to the smell of bacon cooking. I stretch out on the couch, my eyes closed, breathing in the delicious aroma. I love bacon, but I never have it because I don't know how to make it.

Warm lips cover mine and I smile.

"Good morning," a deep voice says.

I open my eyes to see a freshly-showered Jake, with wet hair and shirtless, wearing gray sweats that hang low on his hips. My eyes get stuck on his tight, ribbed abs and I feel a surge of heat between my legs.

"My eyes are up here," he says in cocky tone. I look up and see his smug grin.

"What? I can't look at my boyfriend?"

He smiles, a happy, genuine smile that says he likes the title, which is shocking, given his fear of commitment.

"Only if I can look at my girlfriend." He drops to his knees and kisses me.

"Jake, don't kiss me." I push him away, smiling. "I have morning breath."

"Yeah? And I smell like bacon. I still want to kiss you." He tries but I turn my head. He laughs. "Fine. I'll just kiss you somewhere else." He lifts my shirt up and kisses my stomach, intensifying the heat between my legs.

He circles my belly ring with his tongue. "God, I love this thing. So fucking sexy." He slides his hand up to my breast and I arch into his touch, wanting more.

"Jake," I breathe out. "I need to shower."

"Not until I'm done with you." He tugs on my shirt. "Take this off."

"What? No. I can't—"

"I'm already touching you. I just want to see you." He smiles. "Please?"

This could be trouble, with me nearly naked and him wearing only a pair of sweats, but I sit up and let him take the shirt off, leaving me in just my black string bikinis.

His eyes rake down my body, following the path of his hand. "You're so damn hot." His mouth goes to my breast, while his hand slips under my bikinis and does what he did last night until I'm left gasping for breath as my body comes down off its high.

I lie there, unable to move, and feel him kiss my lips, just once. "Go take a shower. I'll finish breakfast." I open my eyes and see him standing again, his sweats now tented in front. It's so tempting. It's right there, ready to go. And I'm so ready for it. Dying for it. But it's not the right time. It's too soon.

"I need a minute," I say, my chest rising and falling as my heart rate recovers.

He chuckles. "I set out a towel for you. There's soap and shampoo in the shower. If you need anything else just let me know. And don't take too long. Breakfast is almost ready."

"What are we having?" I sit up and put my shirt on, even though I don't need to after he just saw me completely exposed.

"Eggs, bacon, and fried potatoes." He walks to the kitchen.

"You made all that?"

"Yeah. I like a big breakfast. Why?"

"I had no idea you could cook like this. I don't even know how to make bacon."

"It's easy. I can show you. Now get in there and take a shower."

His shower is awesome. Way better than mine. It's big and all tile and has one of those giant rain shower heads. His apartment must be fairly new because everything is updated and modern. I live in an old apartment that looks like it belongs in the Seventies but at least it's mine. I love my dad and sister, but I couldn't live at home. I need my privacy.

When I get out of the shower, I put on my now-dry clothes and go out to the kitchen. Jake has the food set up on the breakfast bar.

"Have a seat." He motions to the barstools.

"This looks really good," I say as I eye my plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and fried potatoes. He gave me enough for three people. "But I can't eat all of this."

"I'll finish whatever you don't eat."

I laugh. "Jen told me about that. She said you and your brothers are like human garbage disposals. Whatever we don't eat, you guys will finish."

"That's true. There were never leftovers at our house." He sets his fork down and turns to me. "Speaking of my family, I have a question to ask you."

"Go ahead."

"Every other Sunday we have family dinner at my dad's house. We're having one today and I wondered if you'd like to come."

He's inviting me to his family dinner? It seems too soon for that. We just started dating.

When I don't answer, he quickly says, "Callie really wants you to come. So does Jen. They could use another girl at the table."

So did Callie and Jen invite me? Is Jake only asking because of them? I don't want to go unless he really wants me to, and I can't tell if he does.