Giving You Forever (32 page)

He left me.

Making my way inside of the house, I find my bedroom, collapsing on top of my bed as soon as I see it, letting sleep consume me.

“Honey…” I hear my mom softly whisper and feel her comforting hand running over my back.

Rolling over to face her, I find her sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me confused.

“Is everything okay?” she asks, knowing the series of events that have played out this week.

Feeling a knot already moving up my chest, tears prick my eyes.

“He’s gone,” I say, the words toxic to my soul.

“Did you guys have an argument?” she asks in her motherly tone.

I wish we had. I wish that was the reasoning. It would make more sense, but Nolan and I don’t argue. Never do we really get mad at each other...very seldom does it happen. We’re perfect for each other. We complete one another.

Shaking my head no, I answer, “No. He just left.”

“Honey, Nolan wouldn’t just leave. He adores you.”

“Well, he did,” I look straight through her, feeling numb, having no feeling at all. “He thinks I’m better off without him. That I deserve better than what he can give me.”

“He’s blaming himself,” she sighs. “He thinks the miscarriage is his fault.”

I nod my head, knowing that was his last straw, believing that the world is against him.

“And you can’t find him?”

I shake my head.

“I’ve searched everywhere, called everyone. He’s gone.”

“We’ll find him, honey,” she says with a tight grin. “He couldn’t have gone far.”

But he won’t come back.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

– ALEXA –

Day 2

Still no Nolan.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

– ALEXA –

Day 3

Nothing.

He’s gone.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

– ALEXA –

“Honey, you have to eat something,” Mom tells me in a worried tone as I once again sit at the dinner table, pushing my food around.

I have no appetite. I can’t sleep. I’m probably going to fail my classes with the amount of time I’ve missed.

I’m empty.

“Have you talked to Kelly at all?” she continues.

“Yeah. She hasn’t heard from him,” I dryly respond.

“Did you hear from the bank today?”

“Yup. Nothing. Our debit account hasn’t been used. Just the one withdrawal the day he…left.”

“What about a safe, sweetheart?” my dad interrupts. “Do you guys have a safe in the house?”

I look up, confused.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Maybe there’s something inside that can give you some hints to where he may have gone.”

For the first time in days, I feel a little energy float through my veins. Something that we haven’t checked! An idea that hasn’t yet been suggested!

Hope.

Needing to look inside of it immediately, I stand up and bring my plate to the kitchen.

“I’m going to go check it out.”

“Do you want me come with you?” my dad asks.

I contemplate his question, wondering if I’ll be able to do this. It’s been days since I’ve been to the house. Our house.

“No, thanks. I’m good…I think.”

“Call if you need us, honey!” my mom yells as I rush out of the room, practically sliding down the stairs.

Gripping the steering wheel, I pray. I pray to God for help. To provide me with some kind of information of where he could be. I won’t stop looking for him. I will never give up. Just as I am to him, he’s always in my heart and forever in my soul. Life just isn’t worth living without him in it. I need him. I need
him
to be happy.

Pulling into our driveway, I do a cleansing breath.

I can do this.

The house is dark, but still smells like him, like us if that even makes sense. It’s a scent of love and happiness…of comfort. This is our home.

Wasting no time, I run down the hallway and up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Opening the closet doors, I see the safe in the bottom left hand corner. Dropping to my knees, I try to remember the code. I know it’s both of our birthdays, but I don’t know the order. Knowing the sweet man he is, it’s probably mine first. He always put me before him. It works and clicks open immediately. It looks like mostly papers–the titles to our cars, tax information, my social security card, our passports. I pause, looking at his. We just had them updated, needing them for the cruise we had planned for our honeymoon. He’s smiling with a big beautiful grin. He was so happy that day.
We
were so happy that day.

Sighing, I put it with the other papers. Then I see a credit card with both of our names on it. We’ve never used credit cards, just our check cards, but I remember when he got these, saying they were just in case. That we each should have one for emergency purposes only. I quickly search the rest of the safe, looking for the other one, but it’s not there.

He has the other card.

Pulling my cellphone from my back pocket, I call the eight hundred number on the back, going through the prompts to get me to a representative.

“Thank you for calling Chase. This is Justin. How may I assist you this evening?”

“Hi, I need to check the recent purchases on an account,” I quickly spit out.

“I can certainly help you with that, ma’am. Do you have the account number?”

“I have the card number.”

“That works. Go ahead with the card number when you’re ready.”

I read it to him twice then give him my name.

“And the last four digits of your social security number, please?”

Jesus Christ! Just tell me if he’s used it!

With my tone turning impatient, I tell him, “1526.”

“Thank you, ma’am. It’ll just be a minute to bring that up.”

Exhaling, I close my eyes, trying not to lose it.

“Okay, it looks like it was just used today by the other cardholder.”

Oh my god! Oh my god…

Taking a deep breath, I ask, “Where? Where was it used?” reaching for one of the pieces of paper and my eyeliner pen from my purse.

“It looks like the last one was at San Carlos Mexican Restaurant in Bath, New York.”

“Uh huh, okay,” I answer, writing it down. “Is there any hotels or places to stay on there?”

“Um…yes. A couple of days ago.”

“What’s the name of it?” I immediately ask, tears pooling in my eyes.

I found him. I finally found my love.

“It’s the Days Inn Hammondsport,” he tells me, and I can’t write it down fast enough.

“Okay, thank you so much.”

“Is there anything else that I can help you with this evening?”

“Nope, thanks,” I try to be as friendly as possible before hanging up.

Grabbing the credit card and my purse, I phone Kelly on the way out to my car.

“Hello?” she answers on the second ring.

“Do you have any idea why Nolan would be in Bath, New York?” I immediately ask, not even saying hello.

She pauses.

“He’s in Bath?” she says, sounding surprised.

“Yes. I tracked our credit card. He’s used it there. That’s where he is.”

“Uh, yeah…that’s where my parent’s grave site is,” she tells me, pain in her tone.

“Why do you think he’s there?” I ask, opening the door to my car.

“I don’t know,” she answers, sounding dumbfounded. “I don’t think he’s ever been there.”

“Well, I’m on my way to find out.”

“Do you want me to come with? I can if you want.”

“Thanks, but no. I just need to get there. I need to see him and bring him home.”

After stopping for gas, and checking in with my parents, I type the address for the Days Inn into my GPS and start for the Thruway, thanking the Lord above for answering my prayers.

Taking the highway for less than an hour, I exit the same one I use when going to the outlets, drive through a few small towns and follow some back roads around the Finger Lakes before being greeted two hours later by a
Welcome to Bath, New York
sign.

Feeling nervous butterflies invading my chest and stomach, I remind myself to breathe. Seeing the tall Days Inn sign lighting up the sky ahead is when I feel the need to throw-up.

What if he gets mad? What if he refuses to see me?

None of this has crossed my mind until now. Now that I’m minutes away from seeing him. All that I thought about was seeing him, loving him and bringing him home. What if he doesn’t want to come home? What if he continues to run, to leave me behind?

As soon as I pull into the parking lot, I see his old Chevy Camaro shining bright in the moon lit sky. Taking the spot next to it, I glance over, remembering all the fun memories that we had in that car...the places we’ve taken it, and the amount of times we spent consummating our love in the back seat. It’s not only his baby. It’s mine, too.

Realizing it’s now or never, I unbuckle my seat belt, open the door, and head for the entrance lobby. Already planning my white lie in my head during the drive, I smile brightly at the man standing behind the front desk counter.

“Can I help you, ma’am?”

Acting ditsy and twirling my hair, I reply, “Yes, I forgot my key card in my room. Do you happen to have another?”