Gloria (15 page)
‘I didn’t mean to hurt yu, Gloria. Yu must know that. It just . . .’
But I don’t want him to start give me no explanation, so I just say, ‘What you do is your business. I got no claim on yu. Yu a free man Yang Pao to do exactly what you please.’
He quiet a minute and then he say, ‘I bring this for yu and I want yu to have it. Cyan yu just tek it and maybe see what it is?’ So I reach out and lift it outta his hand. It heavy. When I tek off the wrapping I see it a box from Lee Jewellery store. And inside it is the most beautiful gleaming gold necklace with a line of jade stones along the whole length. It look like something that should be hanging ’round the neck a Queen Cleopatra. It that gorgeous.
‘I cyan tek this from yu Pao.’
He nuh say nothing, and then he say, ‘Gloria, who can say what might have happen with us? We start out the way we did and now we here. Yes, I go marry Fay but that not the whole story. Yu know that.’ He tek a little pause and then he say, ‘I love yu, Gloria.’ And after a while he turn ’round and walk out.
After he gone I put the necklace on top a the dresser in my bedroom. Still in the box. Just like that.
Two nights later when we busy in the front room with customers Beryl step through the door and the only thing that catch my eye is the jade necklace hanging ’round her neck. Everything in me freeze. I think even my heart stop beating. I cyan believe she go do that. Especially knowing like she do that I not even wear the thing myself yet. And if I say anything to her ’bout it I know what her defence is going to be. She just going say, ‘Everything in this house get borrow by everybody all the time. What yu so huffy ’bout?’ And what can I say to that? It true. So I decide to let it go. I know she go put it back tomorrow and that will be that.
But when the next day come, that vision a Beryl in the doorway still edged on my mind. And that feeling a outrage still wedged in my heart. So late morning when she finally raise herself and sitting on the veranda with her second cup a coffee I step outside and I say to her, ‘The necklace yu wearing last night, I would prefer it if yu nuh do that again. Yu know where it come from and I don’t want to see nobody wearing it. Not right now anyway.’ She look up at me from where she sitting with her feet rest on the little wicker stool.
‘Everything belong to everybody. Yu know that. That necklace not no different from the blouse yu borrow from Sybil last week or the shoes a mine Marcia like to wear so much.’ And then she turn ’round and carry on drink the coffee because for Beryl, it is over.
‘Yang Pao give me that necklace after he go marry Fay Wong. That mek it a bit different from a blouse or a pair a old shoes.’
She spin ’round with her body rigid and her face vex like I never see before. ‘Yu remember when yu first come to this house, what did yu bring wid yu that was so precious yu couldn’t share? And what did we share wid you?’
I got no answer for her so I just stand there. But a part a me cyan believe what she say to me. I stare at the side of her head as she carry on sip from the cup like nothing happen.
Afterwards I think maybe I mek a mistake saying anything to her about it. After all, she right and I knew beforehand what her attitude was going to be. And since she go put the necklace back in my room anyway, what else was there to say? Except there was still something in me that I was carrying ’round the house in the silent way I was dragging my feet and letting a door slam heavy once in a while and picking on every small thing that gwaan ’til eventually Sybil say to me, ‘Something eating yu?’
‘It nothing.’
‘Don’t tell me it nothing. The whole house can see it something.’
‘It nothing Sybil, honestly. Not anything you can fix. I just have to sort myself out that is all.’ But she not swallowing it.
‘Yu think this house survive as long as it do wid people who nuh say what they got on their mind?’ She stop a while and then she say, ‘Beryl tell me ’bout yu talk wid her over the necklace.’
I lean my back against the sink and look at her.
‘What yu expect me to say?’
‘I don’t expect nothing. Beryl tell me what yu say to her and now I just asking yu what else yu still harbouring ’bout it because everybody can see yu not done wid this yet.’
‘It was just because Yang Pao give it to me and before I know what Beryl got it ’round her neck.’
‘And so yu feel what?’ Sybil lean against the wall and light a cigarette.
I tek a minute and then I say, ‘I feel like she rob me. Rob me of the time that I needed to mek up my mind what the necklace mean to me.’
‘Mean to yu? It was a morsel to throw to yu after the wedding. And the only reason he do it is because even though he married he still want to come here every week getting what he always get.’ She walk over to me and ash the cigarette in the sink. ‘No man is worth it Gloria.’ And then she wet the butt under the pipe and walk off.
Next thing Marcia is asking me ’bout it and I have to tell her it got nothing to do with anybody but me and Beryl.
‘Sybil vex over it yu know.’
‘Everybody vex over it Marcia. You just stay outta it yu understand me?’
Two days later Beryl go ’round the house and pick up everything that she reckon belong to her. She go in Marcia room and tek back some lipstick and a skirt and the shoes she mention to me before. And she go into my room and gather up all the things she ever give me over the years for a Christmas or birthday present. So I decide I go talk to her ’bout it. When I find her she sitting in the kitchen with Marcia drinking and joking and laughing. But no sooner than I step through the door they stop.
I say to Beryl, ‘Yu go tek back everything yu ever give me?’
‘What is yours is yours, so what is mine is mine.’ And they laugh. And just like when I was in school it mek me feel young and foolish, and shameful.
‘Beryl, Yang Pao give me that necklace after he go marry another woman. Yu nuh think that mek it different from all the other things that we all bring in this house?’
‘Yu think it cost so much money?’ And they laugh some more.
So I gather myself together and I say, ‘Of course it cost. Yu only have to feel the weight a it to know that. But it not the money. It the fact that he give me something. Have any a these men that come here week in week out ever give you anything?’ And as soon as I say it I know I should a keep my mouth shut.
But Marcia jump in. ‘It just a necklace. We going fall out over a string a jade from a stupid little Chiney?’
‘Don’t call him that. If it wasn’t for him we would still be living in dread that what happen to yu could happen to any one a us at any time.’
‘What happen to me wasn’t anything to do wid the business. It was to do wid you and Henry and the money.’
‘And you not making enough outta that yuself??’
‘I never say that. I just say you and Henry go get Yang Pao to protect yu own interests that is all.’ And she turn ’round in the chair sitting there with her back to me.
Then Beryl say, ‘So he come and protect us and mek himself your personal man. Your personal man, Gloria, like yu special when all we got is the same good-for-nothing oafs that come here week after week counting out the change on the table. And now he give yu a serious piece a jewellery. Well bully for him. But he still a Chiney. At least we know this one got legs.’
‘Legs?’
And then her face turn real nasty before she say, ‘Yu nuh know what deh say? The Chiney not got no legs because every time yu see dem deh standing behind di shop counter.’
I tek a deep breath and I say, ‘Come on Marcia let us go tek a walk and let everybody calm themself down.’
But she never move a inch. She just sit there and say, ‘Gloria, I was sitting in this kitchen before yu come in here and turn everything sour.’
So I turn ’round to go because I cyan believe that even my own sista is going turn on me over this. But before I get a chance to leave she say, ‘Yu always right Gloria, eh? Always the one that can see the fault in what everybody else is doing. Like how yu say Mama nuh treat yu good like she treat me. Joking ’bout it but still complaining. And how Lynette dim-witted and Miss Sissy scratching her head over the food she cooking. And even when Auntie show some kindness yu was too high and mighty to sleep in the bed wid her or go tek a shower in the yard.’
I listen to all a this still standing there with my back to her, choking on the tears because to have Marcia turn on me like this was one thing, but to have her do it in front a Beryl was like teking her hand and ripping out my heart.
Then Beryl say, ‘So I tek the necklace, so what? Yu think I too trashy to be wearing yu 24-carat-gold? Yu think that because he give it to yu it mek yu better than me? Well yu just a whore Gloria Campbell, just like the rest a us. Even despite all yu airs and graces, and Saturday morning English lesson, and fancy clothes yu buying wid Henry Wong’s money, which come to think of it, only mek yu a different sorta whore to him as well. Yu expensive jade necklace? All that mek yu is a high-class whore. Not for one but two Chiney.’
Marcia laugh. Right out loud like she couldn’t give one damn how it hurt me. I feel like I want to grab her up and slap her ’til her face black and blue, even though my heart is breaking that she would want to wound me like this.
Next thing Sybil step through the door and say, ‘The three a yu so busy cussing in here yu cyan hear someone knocking at the door?’
So I go out there because the way my stomach heaving I think it good to walk away from the air in that room before I throw up on the floor. And still Beryl is shouting to me, ‘Chiney stick together, Gloria. It time you learn to do the same.’
My heart beating so hard and legs so weak I didn’t even know if I going mek it to the door. When I get there I find a tall, broad man that flash me a smile a white teeth against his dark skin.
‘Sorry. Yu been knocking long?’
‘A little while. Actually I was starting to wonder if it was a convenient time and maybe I should come back tomorrow.’
I got nothing in my head to say to him, so I just stand there. And then he reach out his hand and pass me a little piece of card that say: ‘Sgt Clifton Brown, North Street Police Station’.
It turn out Sergeant Brown didn’t want nothing that day except to tell me that he recently arrive in Kingston and station at North Street in case there is anything I need. I didn’t ask him nothing ’bout it because entering into conversation with him was the last thing I wanted to do at that moment, so I just leave it, and he turn and go out the yard and shut the gate behind him.
What kinda curious thing was that? It unsettle me but then I reckon he a sergeant so maybe he come to tek charge of the two constables that was asking so much questions ’bout Mr Ho and Pao and the ruckus in North Parade. But after all this time?
And just as I was trying to put the whole thing outta my mind Pao come tell me that some big police officer been sent from Montego Bay to fight corruption in the downtown area, which he, Pao, think is some kinda joke. He say they get the Chinatown Merchants Association to invite the sergeant to come talk to them so as to meet this man face to face. But when it happen it seem the sergeant not what he appear to be. So I ask him what the sergeant called and he say, ‘Clifton Brown.’
‘Yu mean that sergeant down North Street police station?’
‘Yu know him?’
I hesitate but then I say, ‘So what nuh right ’bout this man?’
‘That is for me to know.’ He smile. ‘I tell yu something for nothing though, I going get that man come do a thing or two for me.’
‘What would mek a man like Clifton Brown want to run wid you?’
‘Because, Gloria, everybody got secrets.’
I fretting so much ’bout what going on in the house, and how Marcia turn on me over the necklace, and what Pao doing with Sergeant Brown and what the sergeant want with me anyway that I cyan settle to anything. So I ask Henry if he want to spend a couple days with me in Ocho Rios and he say yes.
Henry’s house in a little cove with a soft white sandy beach all of its own. It small, but it breezy with a veranda facing out to sea. It is a place to rest. A place to ease back and let the worries of Kingston fall off your shoulders.
We get up there early evening just as the sun was setting with its orange glow sinking into the distant water. The caretaker, Abraham, already been to the market so everything is here that we need. I cook up some corned beef and cabbage with rice because I know Henry like it so much, and we eat out on the veranda under the clear night sky.
‘What bother you, Gloria? Something heavy you wrestle with?’
I look at him. He old, Henry. Old enough to be my father. He ordinary. Just a regular, taller than average Chinese man. Not the sorta man that would turn anybody’s head. But there is something about Henry. Something solid and reliable. Yu feel calm in his company. Yu feel safe. Yu feel yu can trust him, and that whatever yu say or do is going to be all right with him. He not going judge or punish you. He not going laugh or criticise. And that is because Henry Wong is content with himself. He know who he is and what he has accomplished, and he don’t need to be proving anything or making a show of anybody else. And that is what make this ordinary man so handsome. He got the kindness to listen to yu without making yu feel like a fool.