Goddess Interrupted (16 page)

“Interesting,” said Calliope as she looped the end of Henry’s chains around my neck. They burned white-hot against my skin, but at least she didn’t tighten them. “It seems you do have some level of intelligence after all. Must I even ask?”

For a fraction of a second, I thought I saw a hint of a smile on Henry’s face. When I blinked, it was gone. “You are asking me to release the most powerful being in the universe, who will undoubtedly wreak havoc on the world before wiping out humanity and killing us all?”

“Yes,” said Calliope, apparently unfazed by the future Henry painted. “In exchange for Kate’s life.”

“In exchange for the life of a girl I met a year ago and have only seen for a few minutes in the past six months.”

Something inside of me crumbled, and I forced myself to my feet. He was right. I wasn’t worth it. I’d known I wasn’t before he’d said it, but somehow hearing the words come from his mouth made it real. Even if he did love me, I was one person. I was one life. It would have been foolish for him to open the gate to save me no matter how he felt.

Calliope sighed. “You might have the rest of them fooled, but I know you better than you know yourself. Your bluff won’t work.”

“How certain are you that I’m bluffing?” said Henry. Calliope said nothing. “Very well. Since Kate insists you will kill her anyway, and since it is clear you have no intention of letting her go, why don’t I leave you with your bounty and instead offer up another trade? I will open the gate for you after you release the others.” He glanced up toward the ceiling, where James and Ava hung. “All of the others.”

Calliope’s eyes narrowed, and she drummed her fingers against her thigh. “You won’t put up a fight for Kate?” she said, and Henry nodded. “How do I know it isn’t a trap?”

“How could it possibly be?” he said. “Cronus is here, and Kate is of no importance to the council. Whether or not she lives or dies, you will have the upper hand. You of all people know we cannot win against him without you. I am merely asking that my family be returned so we can prepare to surrender with dignity.”

I couldn’t breathe, and this time it had nothing to do with the chains Calliope had around my neck. Henry meant it. Whether or not he’d been bluffing before, there was agony in his voice that jolted through me as if it were my pain, as well. He knew it was a lost cause. Calliope wanted me, and he wanted his siblings back. It was a fair trade, and all he would lose was a girl he barely knew.

I was really going to die. The countless hours I’d spent preparing myself for this possibility during our trek through the Underworld did nothing to cushion the gut-wrenching realization that I wasn’t going to exist any longer. I had no idea what happened to gods after they faded, but considering Persephone had had to turn mortal to join Adonis in the Underworld, I assumed there wasn’t any sort of afterlife. I wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. Not like this.

“Henry, please,” I said in a choked voice. I brushed my fingers against his, and despite his stony face, his Adam’s apple bobbed.

He didn’t look at me. I’d come here knowing this was a possibility, that Calliope would rip me apart and I would never go home again, but I’d never expected Henry to give his blessing. Before this, I’d managed to hold on to the hope that somewhere inside of him, he loved me, but that had vanished now. Along with every last bit of inner strength I needed to let Calliope steal the rest of my life all over again.

“How touching,” said Calliope. “Very well, Henry. You have yourself a deal.”

She waved her hand, and James and Ava began to descend. I heard a groan from the mouth of the cave, but before I could see who it was, my body moved involuntarily toward the gate and the menacing fog that swirled around it. Henry moved as well, his feet dragging along the ground.

“Please, don’t,” I gasped as everything inside of me drained away, leaving me with nothing but the overwhelming instinct to survive. I clawed at the chains around my neck, but they burned my hands, and it was no use. Whether I died at Calliope’s hand or Henry released Cronus and he ripped me apart for her, I didn’t stand a chance if Henry wasn’t going to fight. And he was opening the gate—he couldn’t. He
couldn’t
.

“By the time you’ve opened it, the others will be awake enough to leave,” said Calliope. “Unless you want me to change my mind and put them to sleep again, I would get started if I were you.”

With his mouth set in a thin line, Henry picked up a piece of fog-infused stone nearby. At first I didn’t realize what he was doing, but when he pressed a sharp corner against his palm and dragged it down, I covered my mouth, horrified.

Scarlet blood pooled in his hand, and he pressed it against the first bar of the gate, whispering something I couldn’t hear.

“Henry.” I was a sobbing mess now, but I didn’t care. He was going to get everyone killed. “Don’t do this. Please. I’ll do anything.”

He didn’t so much as flinch. As Henry pulled his hand away, the bar groaned, and the stone split through the middle of the mark his blood made. Calliope hovered, wearing a giddy grin, and as her excitement grew, her grip on the chain around my neck loosened. Wild hope filled me as I slipped my fingers between my neck and the links. Nothing I said could stop Henry, but if I could slip away—

“The next one!” cried Calliope.

Henry closed his eyes and pressed his hand against the second bar. As it too crumbled, I frantically worked myself loose from the chain while Calliope was too preoccupied to notice. Her entire body seemed to tremble with excitement, and the fog spilled out from between the opened portion of the gate, all but obscuring Henry. I could still see Calliope’s silhouette, but barely. Unlike the fog in the chains, this didn’t sting; like the desert, it felt like feathers against my skin.

Finally my head slipped out of the noose, and I was free. All I had to do was find the exit. If Henry continued to go this slowly, I’d have time to help free the others, and maybe they could talk some sense into him.

But my feet were glued to the ground. Not by some outside force, but because I couldn’t leave Henry. If he stopped, Cronus would destroy him. He would destroy all of us. And I couldn’t stand by and let that happen.

It was the hardest decision I’d ever made, but I stayed.

There were ten bars in all. With each one Henry opened, Calliope lost more of her composure until she dropped the chain completely. Jumping up and down, she clapped her hands and emitted a high-pitched squeal. My insides twisted into knots. This was it.

Time seemed to stop, the fog muffling everything. And in that moment, as the world grew silent, the sound of whispers snaked toward me from the direction of the cave. My heart pounded. The others were awake.

As a seventh crack echoed through the cavern, Calliope laughed gleefully, and in the fog, someone grabbed my wrist. I struggled to break their grip, but the cold metal of a wedding ring brushed against my skin, and I stilled. Henry. What was he trying to do? Had he changed his mind? He only had three bars left to go, and it would be a matter of seconds before Calliope realized he wasn’t doing what she wanted anymore. Cronus surrounded us, and all it would take was—well, I wasn’t entirely sure what, but he would kill every last one of us if Henry reneged.

And then he pressed a painfully hot chain into my hand.

Calliope’s silhouette stopped moving. “Keep going,” she demanded. “I can count just as well as you.”

“And if I don’t?” said Henry, an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there before.

“Look around you,” said Calliope. “Use that brain of yours, Henry. What do you think will happen? Cronus will crush you. He will slowly grind your bones into dust and paint the walls with your blood. He will do the same to your wife, your sisters and your brothers, and once he’s finished, he will do the same to the ones who had the sense not to come. On second thought, it’d be much more entertaining if we kept you alive to watch the whole thing, wouldn’t it? I was planning on making Walter watch, and I’m sure he’d enjoy the company.”

“They’re your family, too,” I said, the chain burning my hands, but I refused to let go. If I couldn’t see her, then she couldn’t see me. She couldn’t see what Henry had done. Cronus was everywhere though, and if he was paying attention—

“No, they’re not,” she spat. “Not anymore. The council has ruled for long enough, and they made a mockery of themselves and all I stand for. They tossed me aside as if I were nothing. Do you have any idea what that feels like? Of course you don’t, Kate. You won. You have everything you want.”

Not everything. I didn’t have Henry, and I wasn’t sure I ever would. But I bit my tongue. The last thing she needed was a reason to blow me to bits.

Her silhouette came into view as Calliope rounded on Henry. “You and Walter will suffer the pain you put me through for all of these eons, and I promise to enjoy every moment of it.”

I couldn’t see what she did to him, but Henry screamed, an ugly, twisted sound that swallowed me whole until everything ceased to exist except my burning need to stop it. I moved toward her without thinking. The chain was fire in my hands, and I swung it as hard as I could. A sickening crack filled the cavern as it connected with the back of Calliope’s head, and the links wrapped around her neck, burning her pretty face.

I expected her to scream or shout or fight back somehow, and I wasn’t going to hand it over to her that easily. I swung at her again and again, crazy with the need to make sure she never had another chance to hurt Henry or anyone else I loved, but finally someone caught my arm.

“Enough,” said Henry. “Look.”

My heart pounded as I inched forward, squinting through the fog. I clutched the chain, prepared to hit her again if she jumped out at me. Instead my foot hit something warm and solid.

Calliope.

Henry wrapped his arm around me and grabbed Calliope’s ankle. I stared at her limp body, torn between horror and satisfaction as blood dripped from a gash in her cheek.

“Leave,” he called out, his voice booming despite his injuries. A hissing sound echoed through the cavern, and the air grew so hot I felt as if I were being boiled alive. Tiny knives pricked me, burrowing underneath my skin and turning to molten lava.

I cried out, unable to handle the monstrous pain coursing through my body. My knees gave way, but Henry was there to catch me, and his chains clattered to the ground. He said nothing as he pulled me against him and buried my face in his chest. The next thing I knew, the stabs were gone, and cool air engulfed me.

“It’s all right,” said Henry in the soothing tone I’d wanted to hear so badly since stepping foot in the Underworld. Even though he must have been hurting, too, he ran his fingers through my hair comfortingly. “You’re safe.”

The agony of the fog seeping into my body hadn’t left me, but as I stood there trembling, it didn’t get any worse. I cracked open an eye, and when I saw the red wall, my stomach lurched. Who had Cronus killed? James? Ava? Or had he killed Calliope for failing him?

As my vision focused, I realized we weren’t in the cavern anymore. We stood in the entranceway of the palace, the one with the mirrors and scarlet walls, and Calliope lay on the carpet, blood seeping from the wound in the back of her head.

We were home.

Chapter Thirteen
Shadow

As the seconds ticked by like hours, the others appeared around us. Ava was first, with Sofia. Their wrists were rubbed raw. James showed up next with Phillip, who held a bloody cloth over his eye, and finally Walter and my mother appeared. She was clutching Persephone’s hand.

The moment I saw my mother, pale and shaken but in one piece, I wanted to dash toward her. An invisible force held me back though, and I couldn’t move, not while she held on to Persephone.

My mother caught me staring. Her grip on Persephone tightened, and to my astonishment, she dropped her hand and moved toward me instead.

That was all the encouragement I needed. I rushed forward and hugged her, burying my nose in her hair. Even after all that time in the cave, she still smelled like apples and freesia. The faintest hint of smoke clung to her as well, but she was okay.

“Where is she?” said Walter, pushing through the cluster of dazed council members. Dylan, Irene and the others who had remained behind were nowhere in sight, but they were probably working on the surface. I hoped.

“Here.” Henry stepped aside and gestured to Calliope. Walter knelt beside her—his wife, I reminded myself. I stared wide-eyed at the sight of the two of them together, him so old and her so not, and he brushed a lock of hair from her eyes.

“Oh, my dear,” he whispered, but that one tender moment was gone as quickly as it’d come. His expression hardened, and he gathered her in his arms with no more care than he would have shown a pile of rags. “Henry, have you anyplace to keep her?”

Henry gestured for Walter to come with him. I wanted to follow, but my mother clung to me, and I didn’t want to let her go.

“Are you all right?” she said, pulling away enough to look me over head to toe.

“I’m fine,” I said, even though that was a lie. I ached all over, and my blood was practically boiling, but there was no use complaining about it when the others must have felt the same. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

She shook her head. “I’m all right. It was a very brave thing you did, coming to find us.”

I averted my eyes and stared at the spot of blood on the carpet, where Calliope had been moments before. “It was stupid. I’m sorry. I never meant for any of that to happen, but I couldn’t—I couldn’t stand by and do nothing.”

“Of course you couldn’t, sweetheart.” She gently wiped my dirty face with her sleeve and pressed her lips against my cheek. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t do something.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Persephone step toward us, and my mother straightened. I refused to let go of her hand, and to my relief, her grip on mine didn’t loosen, either.

“Kate’s very brave,” said Persephone without a hint of resentment. My hostility began to melt, and I opened my mouth to return the sentiment when Persephone added, “A bit stupid and shortsighted, and completely naive, but brave.”

That same sourness toward her solidified inside of me again. As much as I wanted to hate her though, I couldn’t, not when she’d risked everything to help. Had she really known Calliope and Cronus couldn’t touch her? Now that it was over, I was sure she hadn’t, not when Calliope herself hadn’t known. And the way she’d reacted back at her cottage when she’d found out Cronus had been following us—no, she hadn’t known, but she’d done it anyway.

“We never would have found it without you,” I said reluctantly, and my mother—our mother—reached out to take her hand.

“I’m so glad you two are getting along,” she said. “I never meant for you to meet under these circumstances, and I’m sorry I wasn’t with you for it.”

At that moment, it didn’t matter that she hadn’t told Persephone I existed. While I couldn’t completely forget the nagging part of my brain that reminded me again and again that I was Persephone’s replacement, second-best, nothing more than a spare part, for now I ignored it and forced myself to smile. After the ordeal our mother had been through, I couldn’t deny her that bit of happiness.

“Persephone.”

Henry’s voice was barely louder than a whisper, but even in the buzz of the foyer, it cut through me. He stood in the hallway, his arms covered in blood and his clothing torn, but like he’d done in the cave, he stared past me and focused on Persephone instead. It was as if none of the past few weeks had happened. As if none of the past thousand years had happened.

“Hello, Hades,” said my sister. “It’s been a long time.”

Henry slipped through the crowd to join us, and though he set his hand on the small of my back, he didn’t look at me. “Are you all right?” he said, and Persephone rolled her eyes.

“Of course I am. I can’t die twice.”

Henry hesitated, and my mother’s grip on my hand tightened. She knew what he was going to do before he did it, but her warning didn’t help. Henry pressed his lips to Persephone’s cheek tenderly, and as Persephone kissed back, a wave of nausea swept over me.

“Come,” said my mother to me. Neither Henry nor Persephone spared us a second glance as my mother led me through the foyer and into the hallway, and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “It has been a very long time since they’ve seen one another.”

“I know,” I whispered, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Simply placing one foot in front of the other was torture, but I kept moving forward, needing to put as much distance between me and them as I could. When we reached the bedroom, I hesitated, but my mother pushed the door open anyway.

“You need to rest,” she said, leading me toward the bed. I wanted to resist, but she looked almost as frail as she had while she’d fought cancer, and my intense fear of losing her spread through me, leaving me no chance to shake it off.

“You, too,” I insisted. I perched on the edge of the bed, but that was all I was willing to give until she took it easy, as well. “Sit.”

She didn’t argue. Together she and I curled up on the bed like we had a thousand times before, whenever I’d gotten scared or lonely as a child, or when she’d gotten sick and I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her alone for an entire night. I’d been so afraid she would close her eyes and never wake up; it was difficult to reconcile that fear with the knowledge that she was immortal and wouldn’t fade until she no longer had a purpose in the world, or until Cronus killed her. And I would go down fighting before I let him hurt anyone else I loved.

We lay there together as time seemed to freeze around us. I counted each breath she took, and she rubbed my back in circles. For a moment I managed to forget we were in the Underworld, and I imagined we were in New York, a mother and only daughter with nothing particularly special about them. I would be attending NYU by now, or maybe Columbia. Maybe if my mother hadn’t gotten sick, I would’ve met someone, Henry would’ve never broken my heart, and I’d never have to know what it was like to live in the shadow of my sister.

I could have been happy. My life would have been tame and short, but uncomplicated. And when I died, I would have come here, one more soul for Henry to watch over. None of this would have ever happened.

As much as I wanted it, I knew it was only a fantasy. I would’ve never existed if it hadn’t been for Henry and Persephone. No matter what happened, no matter what choices I made, my life would have never been simple. Even if I’d never known that gods really existed, my mother wouldn’t have survived her cancer, and I would have been more alone than I was now.

With Henry, my life was different. My life had purpose. But no one had ever stopped to consider if it was the life I wanted to lead. No one but James.

No matter what choice I made, I couldn’t compete with the soul-crushing love Henry felt for Persephone, and now that he had her back…

I didn’t know what the right choice was anymore.

“Mom?” I whispered. “Why did you decide to have me if all I was going to be was Persephone’s replacement?”

She opened her eyes, and for several seconds she said nothing. Enough time passed that I feared she wouldn’t answer, but finally she kissed my forehead. “Do you really believe all you are to me is a replacement for your sister?”

I nodded. I didn’t want to believe it, but after everything that had happened, after being plagued by doubts for so long, I couldn’t help it.

My mother sighed. “If we’re going to talk, let’s at least get cleaned up a bit.”

She slid off the bed and disappeared into my closet, and I said nothing. I knew she loved me as much as I loved her, but what would have happened if I hadn’t passed the test? Would she have let go of my hand, too?

When she returned, she had a change of clothes with her, and I reluctantly got off the bed. Despite Ava cleaning them regularly, the jeans and sweater I wore were ruined, and as soon as I took them off, my mother vanished them.

“Now,” she said as I dressed in the pajamas she’d picked out for me. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

I didn’t know how to begin. Everything had gone wrong from the day I’d arrived in the Underworld, and as often as the likes of Ava and my mother wanted to reassure me that Henry loved me, he didn’t, not really. He couldn’t. I wasn’t Persephone.

It was more than that though. So much more, and the only place to start was the beginning. “Every part of my life was planned,” I said thickly. “When I was born, how I was raised, what you taught me—it was all to pass the tests, wasn’t it?”

She nodded slowly, as if she wasn’t sure what was so wrong with that. “Of course, sweetheart. I wanted to give you the best chance of success you could have, especially after what happened to the others.”

I tugged on the hem of my pajama top. “You knew someone would try to kill me, and you let me go anyway.”

“I—” She furrowed her brow. Finally she seemed to get it. “Kate, honey, I would have never allowed it if I hadn’t been sure that every possible precaution was being taken. Before you, only a few of us oversaw the tests. With you, that all changed. I insisted, and so did Henry. He wanted to protect you. We all did. That was why one of us was always with you—that was why we all watched you go through the tests.”

My mother hadn’t been there in Eden Manor, but I’d talked to her every night in my dreams. I’d thought it was a gift from Henry, a chance to allow me to say goodbye to her, and maybe part of it was. But she’d pressed me to share everything, and I had—almost. It was the parts I hadn’t told her that had gotten me killed.

She settled behind me and brushed my hair in slow strokes, working her way gently through the tangles. “From the moment we drove into Eden, you were protected. James, Ava, Sofia, even Dylan and Irene—that was why they were there. Partially to guide you, but mostly to be sure nothing happened to you. We’d watched eleven other girls die because of us, and don’t think we were so callous that we didn’t care. We all did, especially Henry. From the moment the council ruled that I could have you—”

“The council
ruled
I could be born?”

“Yes,” she said, separating my hair into three sections before she began to braid it. “I’ve told you this before, love. Henry decided he wanted to give up, and I didn’t want him to, so instead of going out and finding another girl—”

“You decided to make one.” I swallowed hard, and tears stung my eyes. “That’s all you told me. You didn’t say that the only reason I existed was because you all sat around and debated it.” I stared up at the ceiling, trying in vain to contain the swell of anguish that filled me. “All I was ever supposed to be was Henry’s wife, and you knew—you
knew
he’s always going to be in love with Persephone. You knew he would never feel the same way about me, and you did it anyway.”

She wrapped her arms around me from behind. “Kate…”

I glared at my hands, refusing to hug her back. She could deny it or rationalize it all she wanted, but that wouldn’t change what had happened.

“Yes,” she finally said. “That was why you were born. All of us come into this world for a reason, whether it’s love or a purpose or even as an accident. You were no accident, and I have loved you from the moment I knew you would exist. Even if it hadn’t been then, you would have been born eventually. I’d wanted another child for a long time, and I put it off. Because I was ashamed, I made myself think I didn’t deserve another. I thought I didn’t deserve you.”

“Why?” I said, hiccupping. “What were you ashamed of? Persephone?”

“Partially,” said my mother. “I was ashamed of how little she cared for Henry’s well-being and how selfishly she had acted. I was never ashamed of her,” she added. “She is my daughter, just as you are, and nothing could ever make me love either of you any less.”

I sniffed. “But she was miserable with him. It isn’t her fault that he fell in love with her or that she fell in love with someone else. You can’t force two people together and make them live happily ever after. It doesn’t work that way.”

She shifted on the bed so she was beside me. “Is that how you feel? Like I forced you to be with Henry?”

I shook my head, then nodded, then shook my head again. “I don’t know,” I mumbled. “I didn’t have a choice to meet him though.”

“But you did have a choice whether or not to be with him,” she said gently. “He waited for you, but if you didn’t love him, if you didn’t want to do this, none of us would have forced you.”

“It feels like you did,” I whispered dejectedly. “Without this, I’m not anyone. I didn’t have time to—to figure out who I was, and now I don’t know how to do that and still be who you want me to be.”