Goddess Interrupted (23 page)

I wasn’t so sure he was right about all of that, but the sincerity in his voice stopped my objections cold. It didn’t matter whether or not his vision of me was biased; what mattered was that he believed in me.

I traced an invisible pattern on the hollow of his collarbone. The smartest thing to do would have been to wait. Wait until the end of the war, until I could close my eyes and see anyplace or anyone I wanted, wait until I fully understood what it was like to live, let alone die; but as Henry watched me with those eyes the color of moonlight, shining in the dim light floating above us, I knew my answer. I’d put my life on hold while waiting for my mother to die; I wasn’t going to wait anymore. I couldn’t dash Henry’s hopes just because I wasn’t one-hundred-percent sure I could do this. Henry was, and that meant more to me than I could ever express.

“Yes,” I said without a hint of uncertainty. “I want to be your queen, whenever you’re able to do the ceremony. As soon as I return, if you’d like.”

Henry took my hands in his, and a glowing yellow light appeared between them, ethereal and warm against my skin. “I do not see a reason to wait.”

My eyes widened, but I didn’t give myself the chance to second-guess it. This was what I wanted. I’d prepared for this since the moment Henry had found me at the river beside Ava’s dead body, and Henry was right. There was no reason to wait. “Neither do I.”

He smiled, and that was all I needed to know I was making the right choice. “As my wife, you have consented to take up the responsibilities of Queen of the Underworld,” he said, the same words he’d said exactly three months earlier. “You shall rule fairly and without bias over the souls of those who have departed the world above, and from autumnal equinox to spring of every year hence, you shall devote yourself to the task of guiding those who are lost and protecting all from harm beyond their eternal lives.”

I held my breath, knowing what came next. “Do you, Kate Winters, accept the role of Queen of the Underworld, and do you agree to uphold the responsibilities and expectations of such?”

This time I didn’t hesitate. “Yes,” I whispered. “One-hundred-percent yes.”

The light between our hands disappeared, and for a moment we were pitched into darkness. Before I could so much as blink, however, every light in the room swelled to blinding brightness—between our hands, floating above our bed, even the candles flamed—and a great chime echoed through the bedroom. Through the palace. Through the entire Underworld, as far as I knew.

“My queen,” said Henry, kissing my knuckles. “I am honored.”

I blushed. “Is that it, then?” I said. “I’m—I’m queen?”

“I am certain the council will require a more formal ceremony, but you are my queen.” He cupped my chin and pressed his lips to mine, chastely at first, but as the seconds passed, the promise of more formed between us. “Now that you are awake, I must say that it would be a shame to waste this beautiful night simply by talking.”

“Are you suggesting we celebrate?” I said, and my eyebrows rose playfully. I thought being queen would feel different somehow, like something inside of me would have fundamentally changed, but I felt the same. I was still me, and with Henry beside me, that was all I needed to be.

“I am suggesting that this will be our last night together for a while,” he murmured, “and I would like to make the most of it.”

Wordlessly I kissed him, pouring every bit of hope and happiness and love inside of me into it. The light dimmed as he lowered me back onto the bed, and for the first time in a long time, I was sure that everything would be all right.

* * *

When morning came, we were both somber. After I spent twenty minutes struggling to fold and stuff everything I thought I might need into my suitcase, Henry waved his hand and somehow managed to pack my things for me in a matter of seconds. I pretended not to be jealous, but inwardly I hoped that Ava knew how to do the same. If she didn’t, we would be spending half our time trying to close that sucker and make everything fit, and we had much more important things to focus on.

We met my mother, Walter, James and Ava in the foyer of the guest wing shortly after. Henry and I walked side by side, his arm around my shoulders, and I worried he wouldn’t be willing to let go. He’d barely spoken a word since I’d closed the zipper on my suitcase, but every time our eyes met, he gave me a small, pained smile, as if trying to prove he wasn’t upset with me. It helped, but it didn’t stop the stab of guilt whenever I thought about the possibility that I might not come home.

Ava looked like hell. Her eyes were red and puffy, and for the first time since I’d met her, her hair wasn’t brushed. Her clothes were loose and the sort I wore to bed, not the tight, revealing tops and skirts she usually wore. She stared at the ground with her hands shoved in her pockets, and she didn’t so much as blink when her father moved past her to join me.

“Are you ready?” said Walter, and I nodded. Henry dragged my suitcase behind him, and Walter set his hand on Ava’s shoulder. “My dear, would you be so kind?”

Ava finally raised her eyes from the floor, and a moment later, my suitcase disappeared. “It’s safe,” she said when I opened my mouth to protest. “You’ll have it when we get there.”

“Where exactly are we going anyway?” I said, and James handed me an envelope made of heavy parchment, the sort people must have used a thousand years ago.

“Rhea moves around a lot,” he said. “She’s stayed in the same place for the past few years though, so you might get lucky and find her before she moves on. I’ve written down directions. If you get there and you can’t find her, Ava knows how to contact me.”

I glanced at Ava. Was she even up for this? She shuffled her feet and refused to meet anyone’s stare, and she certainly didn’t look like she was about to go on a whirlwind trip to find a Titan. As much as I wanted to try to shake her out of it though, she had every right to act this way. Nicholas was gone, and for all I knew, she would never see him again.

James seemed to have the same idea I did. He eyed Ava, his mouth hanging open like he was about to say something, and then he paused. “Maybe I should come, too,” he said. “To make sure you find her.”

“No,” said Walter. “The fewer who participate in the planning, the less likely we are to win.”

I offered James a small smile. “It’s okay. If we need you, we’ll get ahold of you, but I don’t think it’s a good idea, either. You’re obviously needed here.”

While I wasn’t lying, my reasons for wanting him to stay had nothing to do with whether or not Walter needed him. James was the first person Persephone had been with behind Henry’s back, and even though Henry knew how much I loved him, I had no intention of giving him a reason to question it. Unfortunately for now, James would only become another obstacle, and Henry and I had had enough of those lately.

Henry let go of me long enough to let my mother embrace me, and I wished with everything I had that this wasn’t the last time I would see her. If Rhea was anything like Cronus, there was no telling what could happen, and whether I wanted to or not, I had to prepare myself for the worst.

“Take care of yourself, sweetheart,” murmured my mother, and she brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. “I’m so proud of you.”

My face grew warm. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

She relinquished me to James, who gave me an awkward hug and a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Stay safe. If you ever get lost, don’t hesitate to have Ava contact me.”

“I won’t.” I paused and leaned in closer to him so only he could hear me. “I choose Henry. After I get back, I’m staying with him all year. I’ll still be your friend, but Henry’s my husband, and I love him. And I will always choose him.”

Something I didn’t recognize passed over James’s face, and he nodded. “As long as it’s your decision, I’ll respect it,” he said, and even though I suspected that would change the moment he thought Henry wasn’t being the sort of husband James believed he should be, for now I didn’t press the issue.

“Thank you,” I said, and James kissed me lightly on the cheek, a silent goodbye to me and an eternity of could-have-beens.

And then it was Henry’s turn, and he gathered me up, burying his nose in my hair. For a moment, his arms were so firm around me that I thought he wouldn’t let go, but eventually he did. I took his hands.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise,” I said, even though I knew that was a vow I might not be able to keep. “Just remember what we have to look forward to, all right?”

“Please do not go,” he said quietly. “I will do whatever you ask of me, but I simply do not know what I would do if something happened to you.”

“Nothing will happen to me.” I rose on my tiptoes, and even though everyone was watching, I kissed him, deepening it for a few seconds before I reluctantly dropped back onto my heels. “I need to do this, and after it’s done, I won’t fight you on your decision to stay out of the war. You have my word that I’ll sit out, too.”

He still looked unhappy, but at least he nodded. Henry cupped the back of my neck and kissed me again, and I closed my eyes, wishing I didn’t have to go away at all. All the wishing in the world wouldn’t change the danger we were all in though, and I could either hide away with Henry to protect me, or I could do something about it. Just like I would always choose Henry, I’d already made that choice, as well.

“Love you,” I whispered when he broke away, and for a brief moment, his face crumpled, as if he were about to cry. He quickly smoothed it out again, and the only sign of how he really felt was the red rimming his eyes.

“I love you, too,” he said. “Please come home.”

“I will.”

Giving him one last peck on the cheek, I joined Ava at the other end of the foyer and waved, but only my mother waved back. “Let’s go,” I said to Ava, linking her arm in mine. She wordlessly opened the door, and without looking back, we walked through the garden of jewels toward the portal that would return us to Eden.

* * *

The journey up the portal and through the rock was as jarring as it had been when James had first led me down. I kept my eyes firmly shut and held on to Ava as tightly as I dared, but no amount of pretending I was elsewhere would keep the nausea at bay.

At last we stopped moving. I opened my eyes. The foyer of Eden Manor surrounded us, and I let out a sigh of relief. That wasn’t something I wanted to do often, and avoiding the portal alone might very well have convinced me to stay in the Underworld with Henry.

Outside, it was the dead of winter. Snow fell in thick clumps, clinging to the trees that lined the pathway toward the gate, and I raised my face toward the sky, sticking my tongue out in hopes of catching a flake.

“I’ve missed the snow,” I said. “Why wasn’t anyone’s idea of the perfect afterlife full of snow? What’s so special about warm weather anyway?”

I’d meant it as a joke, but Ava stopped cold, her grip on my elbow like a vise. “Wait.”

“What?” I said. “Ava, we have to go.”

She shook her head. “No, not yet, we should get Henry or James or—”

I pried her hand off of me. “I know you’re upset about Nicholas, but the sooner we find Rhea, the sooner we’ll be able to rescue him. We can’t do that if we keep going back to say goodbye.”

“It isn’t that.” Ava swallowed, but I was already on my way over the hill. “Kate, stop—”

She hurried after me, and I quickened my stride. Whatever was bothering her could wait until we were on a plane to wherever James’s note specified.

Ava caught up with me a few feet from the gate, and she grabbed my arm again. “Kate, please, you don’t understand—”

“Hello, Kate.” Calliope stepped into the dirt road that ran parallel to the gate, a devilish smile twisted across her lips.

I froze. It couldn’t be. Icy fear washed over me, erasing everything else I’d felt that morning. I was going to die. Calliope was going to murder me and string my body across the gates of Eden for Henry to find when he came looking for me.

“You can’t,” said Ava desperately. “Calliope, please, you don’t understand—”

“Of course I understand.”

The gate swung open, and Calliope crooked her finger toward us. I dug my heels into the ground, but an invisible force dragged me toward her, past the boundary of Eden Manor. Ava tugged on my arm, trying in vain to stop me.

“You did well,” said Calliope to Ava. “Your husband will be proud to know his wife is willing to go to such lengths to ensure his safety, and you shall reap the rewards of the loyalty you have shown me.”

My mouth dropped open. Ava’s eyes filled with tears, and she tried to take my hand, but I pulled it back. “You knew she’d be waiting?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry, Kate. I didn’t know.”

“Of course you knew,” said Calliope with a dismissive wave of her hand, and the gate clanged shut. “Don’t pretend you had nothing to do with this, Ava. Lying is very unattractive.”

“Why would you do this to me?” I said to Ava, stunned. “Why would you do this to Henry and the rest of the council?”

Ava sobbed. “Calliope, you can’t, please. I’ll do anything, just— You
can’t.
She’s pregnant.”

Pregnant. I blinked. Who? Calliope? Both of them looked at me, Ava’s face a mess of guilt and despair and Calliope’s shining with satisfaction, and all the air left my lungs.