Goddess of Legend (24 page)

“Yes, my lord.”

“You have the keenest senses I e’er have witnessed. Use them. I would not want to lose one of my very best.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“And do be careful about that fire.”

“Yes, my lord.”

He swiveled back around and held out his arm. “Shall we?”

“Let’s do it,” Isabel said, gladly laying a hand on his bicep.

 

 

THEY had walked for several moments afore Isabel whispered. “You are an amazing man, Arthur.”

He glanced at her in surprise. “I am very happy you think so. But what provoked that observation?”

“Any other would want to throttle that boy senseless.”

“Other than a short-lived sense of satisfaction and some sore knuckles, what would that accomplish?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe teach him the error of his ways?”

“That moat has been crossed, Isabel. There is no taking back what has already occurred, and it most certainly would not change his feelings for Gwen. I cannot beat the love for her out of him.”

“That is true.”

“I believe at one time, when I first began to suspect, that I had hopes that this thing betwixt the two would fizzle, as a fire doused with water. I no longer believe or hold hopes for any such thing. Truth be told, were I able to voice my feelings to Lance, I believe I would wish him well and ask him to forever treat Gwen as she deserves.”

“You have an amazing capacity for forgiveness, Arthur.”

He pondered that. “Perhaps not so much that as a newfound understanding of how they are feeling. It must be a heavy burden to love that deeply and not be able to express it and proclaim it to the world.”

“Why can you not privately allow Lance to know how you feel? It might well lift some of that burden.”

“The moment I voice or acknowledge, Isabel, no matter how kindly or understanding that discussion might be, the moment I lay voice to it, I am accusing him of treason.”

“You’ve voiced it to Gwen. So in effect, haven’t you accused her?”

“I have let her know that I’m very aware of her infidelity. She understands the implications. She also understands that at any moment I could proclaim it to all who will listen, and she will pay that steepest of prices. She will pay with her life.”

“Well, that would be a ton of fun to have hanging over your head.”

“She also knows that I would ne’er do such a thing to her.”

“She trusts that you love her that much.”

“Yea, I guess she does. She does not overestimate how much I care for her welfare. What she perhaps overestimates is that love and caring are not necessarily the same thing. No longer.”

“May I ask you something?”

Arthur chuckled. “Since when have you ever asked permission?”

“Now. Because your honest answer is important to me.”

The castle came into view as they rounded a bend. The scents of sweat and work animals nearly overwhelmed her. She almost wished to run back to the scent of the forest, even though it also held odors she would just as soon avoid.

“I do not believe I have ever been less than honest with you, Isabel,” he said, just a little offended that she had to qualify the question. “But you have my word that my response will be an honest one.”

“Why did you confide in me? Who is to say that I would not turn around and blab this to someone who would use it against you or Gwen or Lancelot?”

“I believe we have been over this.”

“We have?”

“Yes, but perhaps I was too circumspect. Allow me to elaborate, with all of the candor at my disposal.” He stopped her and turned her to face him, so that she might see the truth in his eyes. “From the moment I laid eyes upon you, I was taken with you. As we traveled to the castle, you were the most enjoyable companion I had e’er spoken with.

“I knew before we had reached the bailey that you . . . moved something inside me that I had ne’er before felt, not even while courting Gwen.”

“Okay, we have been over this before,” she said, blushing a bit. Her blue eyes shied from his own. She attempted to free herself of his grip. “Never mind.”

“No, please allow me to finish.” He released her and held up his hands. “I hold you not against your wishes.”

She looked up at him. “You do not have to worry. In that I trust you completely.”

“Yes, I must worry.” He shrugged. “I wanted you. But I just felt that if you believed that I was simply some randy bastard who had no morals, who had no problems with betraying my vows, you would lose all respect for me and would reject me. I could not allow you to believe such a thing. Call it self-serving, but I not only wanted you, I wanted you to believe in me. Perhaps so that any relationship we had would be true. To each other. To accomplish that, I had to be honest about what was happening around me. So that you would not dismiss me out of hand as a cad and adulterer. I did not want you to believe it was pure lust that drove my attraction.”

“You took a huge risk, Arthur.”

“Perhaps. But you . . . I cannot explain it . . . You were that important. And I saw in your beautiful blue eyes that you felt at least a portion of what I was feeling. Perhaps misplaced, but I had to trust in that and take the chance. Or risk the possibility that I would ne’er have a chance at all. And I firmly believe in wanting to look back at my life at the end of my days with no regrets. Not forging ahead with my feelings for you would have been a regret I would have lived with all of my days.”

Her eyes went moist, but she blinked back any tears. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I am so glad for your honesty. And your hopes and desires are not just one-way, Arthur. You are so right. Had I not known about the troubles in your life, I would never have allowed my feelings for you to grow, or for you to kiss me, much less make love.”

“Point of order. We have not made love.”

“Not for my lack of trying.”

He smiled but then had to stop himself. “I cannot in good conscience take something that you should be saving for the man who will win your heart someday.”

“Oh, Arthur, you dolt. Do you not realize you have already won my heart?”

He could not help it. He cupped her face and kissed her. It was almost savage at first, but he attempted to cool his desires. Softening the kiss he coaxed her mouth open. He marveled at how their lips seemed so in line. They were meant to intertwine.

Her tongue tasted of mint and his knees nearly buckled when it traced his lips before returning to tangle with his own. ’Twas a devastating thought that this might be as close to the act of lovemaking that they would e’er get. And after the amazing sight of her naked body, ’twas near to unbearable.

She broke the kiss afore he was ready, but he accepted it as her right. Her kiss-swollen lips and dazed eyes just continued to make his body betray him all the more with desire. Yet he stepped back, bending over with hands on his thighs, attempting to retain his control. His breaths heaved in and out of his chest. Finally, he squeezed his eyes shut once, then stood. “I must needs walk this off afore we leave the forest.”

“Arthur?”

“Yes?”

“I think I have something to say that might cool your ardor.”

“A dunking in Lake Camelot naked in the middle of winter would not manage to cool my ardor, Countess.”

“This admission may just do that.”

“How is that possible?”

“Because I was not completely honest with you.”

That worked. Arthur had been subjected to more lies and betrayals in the past months to last any man’s lifetime. He crossed his arms over his hurting, burning, squeezing chest. “I am listening.”

She obviously saw something in his face that worried her, as she began biting at her lower lip. “It’s not any lie I told you, it was not dishonesty. It was more that you took me by surprise with your reaction to something and I was startled and embarrassed and—”

“Please, to the point, Isabel. I am ready for whate’er this is.” He was not, not by any means. But to know what you were facing was a much better tactical battle strategy than not knowing what or who would be betraying you next.

“Please don’t be angry.”

“I cannot predict my emotions or reactions until I understand what I am facing.”

“When we . . . When you and I . . . When we . . .”

“Please, Isabel, do not torture me any longer.”

She took a deep breath. “When I could not figure out how to help you take off your clothes . . . do you remember?”

“That memory is seared in my mind, Isabel. I have thought of almost nothing else since this morn. What about it?”

“It was true that I didn’t even know where to begin to help you out of your garments.”

“I remember.”

“It wasn’t because I knew nothing of a man’s clothing.”

“It seemed quite apparent to me.”

She waved. “Yes, yes, I was confused by how all of your clothes came together. Or came apart, as it were. But it wasn’t because I had never been with a man.”

“My pardon?”

“I am not a virgin, Arthur. But you made that assumption, and I was confused and embarrassed and—”

He felt his own jaw drop. “Are you saying back there,” he asked, hiking his thumb over his shoulder toward the castle, “and here, in this forest, we could have been making love, but that you knew not how to undress me?”

“Something like that.”

His astonishment and relief was so overwhelming that the disappointment over lost opportunities fell by the wayside. He started laughing. “This is your horrible secret?”

“Are you laughing at me?” she asked, standing tall and looking all huffy and haughty.

“No, Isabel, I am laughing at myself. How many times this day I indulged in fantasy and justification for seducing you without regard to your future. The many times I considered how to gently introduce you without harming you and to forget the guilt that might accompany me after the pleasure.”

“So you are not angry?”

He could not stop himself from laughing. “I am furious.”

She eyed him skeptically. “You have a funny way of showing it.”

“You have no idea how many possible betrayals passed through my mind. I was, as I have heard you say, scared shitless of what you might tell me. This, Isabel, did not make my list.”

“So that furious part? Is it directed at me?”

“No, it is directed at me, for not giving you a chance to explain. One rule that I teach all of my soldiers is to listen. I was not listening.”

“I was not talking. I pretty much lied by omission.”

He stroked his chin, the relief coursing through him almost making him weak. “Is that the extent of your exorbitant perfidy, Countess?”

She took a moment, wagging her forefingers to and fro. “Yep, I believe that’s about it.”

“And are you contrite?” he asked, unable to keep the smile from his face.

“I cannot tell you how much. You are not the only one who has thought of little else.”

“Then this king has decided to absolve you. It shall never occur again, am I right?”

She curtsied. “My most dire wish, sir, is that it actually begins to occur.”

“You will allow me to teach you how to undress me?”

“I have always been a big proponent of higher education.”

He grinned, picked her up and twirled her around. “I am so in love with you, Isabel.”

He set her down, dumbfounded that those words had escaped his lips. The shock on her face told him they were very premature. “I am sorry. I know not from where that came. Perhaps an abundance of exuberance.”

“Perhaps from the heart?” she whispered.

“But those were not words you were prepared to hear.”

“It doesn’t make them any less special. In fact, more so, as they were not planned. You spoke what you were thinking.”

He shook his head. “I had no right. And I know ’tis a sentiment you perhaps are not prepared to return.”

“Then again,” she said, running a finger from his temple to chin, “perhaps it is.”

“If ’tis, may I hear the words from your lovely lips?”

“I am falling in love with you, Arthur. It seems an untenable situation, but the heart wants what it wants, right?”

“It does.”

She offered him an impish grin. “Last nonvirgin to the castle has to be served all of the eel.”

He watched for a moment as she lifted her skirts and then took off running.

Grinning, bursting with happiness and gratitude to the gods or to fate, he took off after her. Not very fast, however, for he was well aware of her aversion to eel.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

THE evening meal began as a somber affair. Apparently all were worried about the health of their queen. But Arthur stood tall and announced she was quite on the way to recovery, and the mood lightened. Even Lancelot had arrived, which sort of stunned Isabel. She thought for certain the poor little puppy would be attempting to sneak into Gwen’s heavily guarded quarters or be off plotting revenge against mushrooms worldwide.

As her platter was placed before her, she realized that she’d been served a ton of vegetables and duck and not one ounce of eel.

She looked over at Arthur, and his plate was piled high with the vile stuff. He grinned and winked at her, then whispered to a server. That platter of eel was replaced with a bowl of what looked to be some kind of stew.

She ducked her head and smiled, digging in to her veggies. Oh, yes, like it or not, she had fallen fast and hard. She was so in love with Arthur it almost hurt.

Arthur spoke into James’s ear, who then spoke into Tom’s ear, who then spoke into Isabel’s ear. “He says that the bet did not include actually having to eat the eel. Does this make sense?”

She nearly had wine flying out of her nose and mouth. She caught herself and tried to pull it all together. Then she whispered into Tom’s ear, “Relay to King Arthur that this is a thing called a loophole. And he is lucky to be given reprieve this time.”