Godless And Free (18 page)

52.
Freedom Go to Hell

February 13, 2009

Well, what a publicity coup for Mr Wilders. The whole thing has been a magnificent success, hasn’t it? Millions of people who didn’t even know that this film existed have now made a point of seeking it out on the internet, thanks to the stupidity, the incompetence, and the cowardice of the British government.

Of course some of the credit should also go to the idiotic Lord Ahmed who started the whole thing in the first place because he wanted to be a big hero in Pakistan. Unfortunately, the only thing he has managed to achieve is to stereotype Muslims yet again as hysterical intolerant malcontents who can’t take criticism, when everybody knows that’s not true.

For those who don’t yet know, the British government yesterday debased itself and its people in an act of quite breathtaking dhimmitude. An elected parliamentarian from the Netherlands, Mr Wilders, was due to attend the House of Lords for a discussion about his film
Fitna
, but he was turned back at Heathrow airport because one Muslim member of the House, somebody who, unlike Mr Wilders, hasn’t been elected by anybody, was so incensed at the prospect of free and open discussion between free people in a free country that he threatened to mobilise ten thousand angry Muslims to besiege Parliament illegally if Mr Wilders was allowed to attend.

So what do you think the British government did in the face of this open threat to public order? Oh go on, have a guess. That’s riht, they caved in like a bunch of spineless pussies. I couldn’t have put it better myself.

The last thing they needed was an angry Muslim demonstration on their hands, because then the police would have had to go around arresting people who complained about the violent hate-mongering slogans and the offensive anti-Semitic chanting, and that might have been a little embarrassing.

I think it’s pretty clear to most of us by now that religious censorship is moving towards us in the free world like an incoming tide, and if we don’t do something about it soon we’re going to find ourselves cut off like a bunch of stranded cockle pickers.

Since my last video, a number of people contacted me to point out that one reason why the Netherlands is surrendering so completely to Islam is because the government there is controlled by Christians to whom religion is more important than community harmony, and to whom any religious values in society are better than none.

In other words, if you vote for Christians in Holland at the next election, don’t bother crossing yourself, because you’re actually voting for Islam, and you can wave your open tolerant society a permanent goodbye.

In Britain we’ve known for some time that a vote for Labour is very much a vote for Islam. The Labour Party depends on the Muslim vote to have any chance at all of staying in power at the next election, because they’ve alienated just about everybody else.

And the ugly surveillance society they’ve foisted on us over the last twelve years tells us that the Labour Party despises freedom almost as much as Islam does, which is why they make such willing bedfellows, although not in a gay way. I don’t want to insult anyone’s homophobic prejudices, because that might cause offence.

But, as if to illustrate this fact, a government minister actually praised Muslims in Britain recently for raising the profile of religion because, as he put it, secular commentators are afraid to criticise them. That’s right. It’s a good thing that people have been intimidated into silence in New Labour’s new Islamic Britain; that the threat of Muslim violence, which is what we’re actually talking about here, let’s be completely frank about this, has been a good thing for this country. Well, “freedom go to hell” indeed.

You know, maybe I’m naive, but I’m actually astonished that in twenty-first-century Europe we find ourselves having to defend our freedom in our own countries, not only from religious fascists who want to take it away, but from those among us who want to help them do it.

I don’t think the Koran should be banned, but also I don’t think it should be protected from criticism the way it has been here, in this cowardly way.

This issue cuts to the very foundations of our society. Free speech is the cornerstone of western civilisation. It has made us what we are, and without it we are nothing, and that’s precisely why it’s under such sustained attack from the footsoldiers of Islam.

If these people are afraid of this film, and clearly they are, it means they’re afraid of their own scripture. They know it can’t be defended. They know that what the film says is actually true, unpalatable though it may be. Watch it for yourself, it’s only a few minutes long, and see if you disagree with a single frame. And then ask yourself how much more of your freedom needs to be whittled away to defend this intolerant misogynistic homophobic anti-Semitic ideology from the robust and frank and open criticism that it so richly deserves.

Peace. Well, we can all dream, can’t we? Or is that illegal too now?

53.
A Word About the Soldiers

March 12, 2009

OK, I just want to say something quickly here about that little gang of bearded pinheads who abused the British soldiers while they were parading through Luton the other day on their return from Iraq.*

These people couldn’t have made their religion look any uglier, any more sordid, if they tried.

Like a lot of people in Britain, I’m against the war in Iraq, have been all along, but I realise that soldiers don’t start wars, soldiers don’t decide what wars to fight, and frankly, the soldiers of this country already get enough abuse from their own government without this shit on top. Sent into battle under-equipped because some fat-arsed bureaucrat can’t stop picking his nose long enough to do his job properly, it’s a wonder anybody joins the army any more. But you know something? I’m glad that they do.

You see, I’m lucky enough never to have had to fight in a war, because other people fought my wars for me – important wars that needed to be won – and I’m very grateful for that. And if you live in this country, and if you accept everything that this country has to offer, which is a lot, then they fought your wars too, whether you bloody well like it or not.

And if you’re offended by the sight of British soldiers parading in uniform through a British town, then I would suggest that you don’t belong in this country, and I don’t care what colour you are, what you believe, or where you were born. Goodbye.

* British soldiers returning from Iraq were publicly abused by a small group of loudmouthed Islamist boneheads, and the handful of bystanders who tried to challenge them were arrested. I was pretty annoyed about it, as you can see.

54.
Free Speech Is Sacred

March 17, 2009

It’s at times like this, isn’t it, that you realise just how much we need the United Nations – about as much as we need an ear infection.

You probably know by now that a cartel of Islamic dictatorships has taken time out from abusing human rights to hijack the UN Human Rights Council, which is now dominated by the kind of countries that everybody wants to get out of but nobody wants to get into. And they intend to use an upcoming conference in Geneva to force through a resolution that will criminalise the defamation of religion.

That’s quite a specific charge, isn’t it, “the defamation of religion”, though I’m sure it was intended to be anything but.

To defame something, first of all you have to say something untrue about it, so, for example, if I say that religion is the art of sugar-coating a turd and selling it as a doughnut, that’s not defamation because, of course, it is absolutely true

Also, defamation means to damage someone’s reputation with falsehood, but since religion’s reputation couldn’t really be any lower than it is right now – I mean it really stinks, doesn’t it? I mean REALLY stinks.

For example, if you’re a Catholic you found out last week that you can be excommunicated for helping a child have an abortion,* but not for impregnating her in the first place. Doesn’t that stink? Isn’t that like somebody just ran over a skunk outside your house?

The only actual defamation I can detect here is defamation of humanity by religion, because religion is bearing false witness against us to our detriment. And that is defamation.

Religion is telling us a poison story about ourselves because it doesn’t want us to like ourselves one little bit. So it denigrates us from the moment we’re born as unworthy, unclean, and stained with sin; persuading us that there’s something we need to be saved from, and indeed there is – the curse of religion, which, for its very survival, depends on keeping us in thrall to a view of reality that’s so childish, so stunted, so utterly and transparently false it amounts to nothing less than a malicious assault on our very identity as human beings, which I believe makes religion a crime against humanity.

Now I’d like to be charitable and to attribute this cynical stunt to a lack of understanding by the Islamic dictatorships – a lack of sensitivity if you like, an ignorance if you prefer, a gross ignorance if you insist – about just how unforgivably offensive this resolution is to freedom worshippers like myself.

You see, if religious values are to trump everything in this world as they currently seem to be doing, then I claim free speech as my religion. Yes, I’ll have a slice of that pie too, thank you, along with all the attendant rights and privileges, of course. Because I can assure you that I venerate free speech as highly as anybody on this planet venerates their god or their scripture or their prophet, and any attempt to suppress free speech is deeply insulting and grossly offensive to me on a personal level. I feel violated to the very core of my being, which seriously hurts my feelings.

Whenever I hear free speech being compromised or restricted, or even heavily criticised, I take that as a grave personal affront and as a grotesquely insensitive attack on my most cherished values. Freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of identity – this is my holy trinity. Each one an intrinsic aspect of my god – freedom, the holiest of holies. Yes, it bloody well is. It is absolutely sacred and inviolable beyond any negotiation or compromise, now and forever, amen.

(Sorry to be so unreasonable about it, but you know how it is with religion.)

And in keeping with my sincerely held religious convictions, I even support free speech for those clowns who abused the soldiers in Luton last week. Some people seem to think I wanted them silenced. Not at all. I think everyone should be free to express who they really are and be judged on that. So I fully support their right to make public dicks of themselves if that’s what they want to do, and to unite the whole country, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, against them in condemnation.

I also support their right to go and live somewhere more in tune with their noxious, barbaric, disgusting views.

They want this country to be like Saudi Arabia, a theocratic hellhole where women and homosexuals are routinely abused, and where new ideas are considered blasphemy. The kind of society, in fact, that recently sentenced an elderly woman to forty lashes for having her bread delivered by an unrelated male. Doesn’t that stink?

And that’s how these people want to live. So it follows that they’re never going to be happy in a civilised country like Britain. Despite the generous state benefits that they can scrounge here, and they do, they’re always going to be miserable here, always going to be in a bad mood, walking around with their long old beardy faces, offended by everything, insulted by everything, jumping up and down at the roadside at every opportunity with their stupid little banners, shouting at people. What kind of a life is that?

You’d have to be almost insane, wouldn’t you, to want to live in a society that you despise so much when your preferred alternative, a brutal medieval theocracy, is right there for you for the price of a plane ticket.

But as long as they choose to stay here I support their right to speak their minds, such as they are. I also support the right of civilised people to tell them exactly what we think of them as bluntly and directly as we choose to. It’s called free speech, and it’s sacred.

And it’s what the UN Human Rights Council wants to take away from us. It wants to stop us from criticising people like this. It wants to stop us from telling the truth.

And that’s why every western government needs to boycott this wretched conference in Geneva, and to treat this despicable resolution and its authors with the undisguised contempt that they deserve.

Also, the Human Rights Council itself might want to think about some urgent sensitivity training for some of its less enlightened members, so that this kind of crass insult to civilised values is never ever repeated.

Peace, and happy resolutions.

* As happened to the mother and doctors of a nine-year-old girl in Brazil who had a life-saving abortion. The man who raped her was not excommunicated.

55.
Islamist Dickhead

March 24, 2009

Some people have a way of getting right up your nose, don’t they? One such person is Mr Anjem Choudary, a British born Islamist with a very big mouth and some very harsh opinions about how people should be allowed to live their lives.

And he’s been popping up quite a lot in the media recently with his pompous little voice and his bushy little face, so stern, so righteous, telling us all what a corrupt society this iwhile fully enjoying all its benefits.

His latest pronouncement is that gay people should be stoned to death. Yes, he’s a real charmer

I don’t know if he’s going to be prosecuted for hate speech for saying this (you know, the way a non-Muslim would be) or if the police think that upholding the law might cause offence and harm community cohesion. You’ll have to ask them that, if you can find them.

Meanwhile, he wants beer drinkers like me publicly flogged. Ouch! Now it gets personal. He wants women forced to dress like nuns, and he wants to see the flag of Allah flying over Downing Street.

With such aggressive opinions a man’s bound to have some inner tension. Maybe he needs to relax with a few pints of cider and a couple of spliffs. You know, like in the old days. Because we found out recently that before he became an Islamist dickhead this man was quite the party animal. Alcohol, cannabis, casual sex, pornography – you name it, and he sucked it in and blew it out in bubbles, by all accounts.

They say, don’t they, there’s nothing quite as bad as the enthusiastic convert, although I have to say it’s a shame he’s not quite devout enough in his new beliefs to have himself retrospectively stoned to death for that behaviour and do us all a huge favour.

It’s fair to say that this man is not well liked in Britain. Although he was born here, if the government were to put him on a plane anyway and dump him in the middle of the desert where he rightly belongs, I bet somebody orbiting in a spacecraft would be able to hear the spontaneous applause emanating from this tiny island.

Because, born here on not, he’s about as welcome in this country as a fly is in a kitchen, and he serves the same purpose – a poison-spreading nuisance who makes people sick.

I know a lot of Muslims are embarrassed by this guy. They cringe when they see his name in the media because they know that their faith is about to be portrayed yet again as a religion of fruitcakes and sadists.

But they don’t have to worry about that, because everybody knows he’s an extremist nutcase. Every time he opens his mouth he proves that calling him pig ignorant is actually an insult to pigs.

He’s a walking parody, a laughing stock, a ludicrous cartoon character who speaks for nobody but himself and his own pathetic little coterie of insane medieval pinheads.

And ironically this is what makes him a unifying influence (which of course is the last thing he wants to be) because whatever we believe or don’t believe, we can all laugh at this idiot together in a wonderful example of actual community cohesion. You see, there’s a first time for everything.

As for the flag of Allah flying over Downing Street, my hunch is that the British flag will still be flying there long after Mr Choudary and his fuzzy-faced friends have come to their senses, had a shave, and are back on the cider and spliffs.

Peace.