God's Little Freak (14 page)

“You had a hangover. That’s from drinking too much. What else did you drink
after we left? Did you have shooters?” his father asks.

“
Er, I don’t want to lie to you, because there is so much I cannot remember from last night. I may have. Actually, I had shooters. It’s black and tastes like cough medicine.”

“
Jägermeister. You had Jägermeister? No wonder!” his father says while shaking his head and smiling.

“Yes,
Jägermeister. I had a few actually because I had to drink one every time I lost a pool game. At the end…“ Kevin decides rather to keep quiet and not complete the sentence.

“There is a reason why one has to be careful with alcohol. Once you drink too much you forget things and you do
stuff that you normally wouldn’t do. At the time it seems like a great idea, but afterwards it seems like it wasn’t you at all. You lose your inhibitions and control and it becomes dangerous. You think you talk normally, but you don’t. You think you can walk straight, but you don’t. You have to be more responsible,” his father says.

“I understand.
I have to say, I really only understand it now after last night,” Kevin says.

“You have to know where your limit is. No one can drink without being affected. Many think they are not affected, but they are lying to themselves. Do you want to be like that?
Sure, you’ll have a great time, but at what consequence?“ his father asks.

“Yeah, I don’t wan
t to be like that,” Kevin says.

“The thing is
, I trusted you to be responsible. I’ve told you so many times you may drink, as long as you are responsible. Many people dislike what I’m doing but I had faith in you and now you’ve disappointed me,” his father says.

“Yeah
, I know,” Kevin says while looking at the road they are walking on.

“So
now you have shown me that you cannot be trusted. Do you understand that? I have to be a bit stricter now, not out of my own volition, but because you showed me that I have to be,” his father says.

K
evin sighs, “Yeah, I get that.”

“Who has to prove now that he c
an be trusted?” his father asks.

“I have to prove it,” Kevin says
.

“That’s right. You have broken the trust we had, so you have to fix it. We are moving to Johannesburg in a few weeks and things will be different there for all of us. I don’t know how things will pan out for us, but if we are going to succeed we have to trust one another, OK?”
his father says.

“OK,
Paps,” Kevin says. “I’ll do my best to show you that I can be trusted again. I want you to be able to trust me.”

“I’m sure you will. You’ve been responsible all your life and I don’t want things to slip away
now. That’s all. You’re a wonderful son to have. We have spoken about this now, so it’s over. I don’t want to talk about this again,” his father says.

“Thanks, I’ll be more careful next time
,” Kevin says. He is relieved that they have talked about it in a normal way and hopefully they will never have to speak about it again. In more than one way, he doesn’t want a repeat of the night before.

“Ah, Kevin!
Some brandy?” Uncle Brian asks when they get back.

“No thanks.
Only some Coke please,” Kevin replies.

When Kevin get
s his Coke, he smells the brandy of Uncle Brian and feels sick all over again. “I don’t think I’ll ever drink brandy again. I’ll stick with beer in future,” he says.

It’s the first day at their new school: a first experience for
Kevin and Klara. Luckily they are in the same school, so that makes it easier. Yesterday, they went to the school with their mother so that they could get better acquainted with everyone.

The move to Johannesburg
is not as bad as they originally thought it would be. Kevin was worried that they would live in a small house, because his father moaned about the house prices in Johannesburg and chose a townhouse. That’s a dramatic change from the big house they were used to in Vryheid. His father doesn’t want to bother with a garden anymore and is prepared for a bigger workload and responsibility in his new position.

When
they got to the townhouse, however, Kevin realised that it was massive. It’s not like the small town houses in Vryheid. It has four bedrooms, a huge communal space and a swimming pool. That’s an added bonus, because they didn’t have a pool in Vryheid. They are relatively near their school and a huge shopping centre is also nearby.

The first day of school is
chaotic; the same as in Vryheid, so that’s to be expected. The school is much bigger than in Vryheid and he is immediately concerned about the fierce competition there will be in all the activities he likes, especially athletics. The students are different in a way from those in Vryheid. That afternoon he talks to Klara about it, who feels the same. In a way they are more mature and knowledgeable about what’s going on in the world, but on the other hand they seem completely ignorant of many obvious things. They conclude that it’s too soon to judge, though generally a welcome change. The only thing they don’t want to do is to go to school by bicycle. No one does that here and they are certainly not going to be the only ones!

That evening they both stand their ground and tell
their parents that someone will have to take them to school. Their mother says that she can do it when she is off, because she works shifts. Their father agrees to take them on the other days, but they will have to leave very early since he is already in traffic for 45 minutes as it is. It drives him insane.

“
My colleague says it will take at least a year to get used to the traffic in Johannesburg,” his mother says. Kevin also thinks that the traffic is horrendous. Johannesburg is great, though, because there is so much more that Vryheid doesn’t have, like movies, markets and adventure golf and shops that are so big you could get lost in them. But you have to drive to all of them and apart from the shopping centre nearby, it usually takes at least half an hour.

Before
school had started their mother took them to the zoo. They went to see a real show on stage by professionals and went tenpin bowling. There is so much more to explore still. There’s the Wanderers Cricket Ground, Ellis Park (although the entire family are all Shark supporters), many theatres, Gold Reef City and a soccer stadium all in the same city! Klara and Kevin like Johannesburg a lot.

On the
first Saturday, their school has its inter-house athletics championships. Kevin does very well and surprises everyone by winning both the 110m and 400m hurdles events. He does well in the sprinting events and manages to be part of the relay team, which is all he wanted. On all other events he is outdone but at least his main events went well.

The following Tuesday
afternoon they have the swimming championships and he drops out completely. There are far too many strong swimmers at his new school. In Vryheid he was still competitive but in Johannesburg he struggles not to be last. Klara does well in swimming though. Normally Kevin would be upset when he doesn’t do well, but since there is so much more to do in Johannesburg, he lets it go. It gives him more time to work at athletics.

The next day, Kevin’s father has
a surprise for the whole family. He has found out about the Johannesburg Philharmonic Orchestra and that they are playing Beethoven’s 5
th
Symphony at the opening of the first symphonic season. They are all very excited about it. Both Kevin and Klara have never been to a live symphony orchestra before.

On the way
, Kevin thinks about what most people in Vryheid said about Jo’burg: that life in the city is too busy and family members don’t have time for one another because everyone is always rushing around. That certainly isn’t true with his family. They do so much more together than before. They were either at home or at church in Vryheid, but now they are actually going to listen to a live symphony concert! In Vryheid they would never go out on a weekday because of school, but his parents say this is a good enough reason. The only thing that has really changed is that they now have take-aways more often.

Kevin’s father i
s a huge Beethoven fan and it has rubbed off on Kevin. In the car his father says, “Beethoven wrote this symphony when he noticed he was going deaf. The first movement is like a knock on the door, but very sudden and dramatic. It symbolizes his fate of going deaf, which is knocking on his door. As with the music, one can hear him moving around with agitation trying to avoid it. The knock becomes even louder and dramatic. One can honestly feel his frustration of such a dreadful fate that he has to face. If one sees what he composed afterwards, it is clear that he answered his fate and accepted it. Most of his music after that is even more moving and impressive.”

Kevin
has heard this particular symphony a lot. It is one of Beethoven’s most famous. However, hearing it live is completely different. The sound is amazing and he likes the sound of the cellos and double basses. The drums add to the dramatization. He stares at the conductor constantly and thinks he is brilliant to keep all these instruments playing together at the same time as they should. For a moment the violins remind him of Michael. He doesn’t spend too much time thinking about him, because there is so much more to take in.

On the way home, the family c
an’t stop talking about the symphony. Kevin and Klara want to come every week, but their parents say it’s not possible. If there are some other great works, then they will make the effort.

The
next day at school, Kevin hears parts of the symphony in his head. It doesn’t bother him at all. It’s a pleasant change. The last period of the day is English. He doesn’t find English grammar particularly difficult, since German grammar is much harder. After the class, his teacher, Mr Stewart, asks him to stay behind for a minute. He wants to talk to him for a moment.

“How
do you like the new school? It’s a big change from the country to the city, isn’t it?” Mr Stewart asks when there is no one around.

“I like Johannesburg a lot! There is so much to do here. The
school is much larger than I’m used to, so in the beginning I was worried about how I would do in sport, but it has all turned out fine. The school work is more or less the same, so that’s that,” Kevin replies.

“Have you made an
y friends yet?” Mr Stewart asks.

“Not friends like I had in Vryheid, but I’ve only been here for two weeks. I do get along with everyone. There is something different about people in the city, but I can’t seem to
put my finger on it,” Kevin says.

“It is different. Don’t worry about that. Give yourself some time. Glad to see you are ada
pting well. Just one more thing: your parents informed the school that you have depression. How’s that working out?” Mr Stewart asks.

Kevin
is surprised at the question and gets a bit uncomfortable, but answers, “I’m on medication so it’s under control, I guess.”

“An
y reason for the depression? Do you have any kind of therapy? From my experience it must come from somewhere,” Mr Stewart asks.

“I’ve seen several
different psychologists over the years, each with their own ideas. I don’t know anymore,” Kevin replies.

“What do you think? Where does
it come from?” Mr Stewart asks again.

“No par
ticular reason. It just happens. It runs in the family from my father’s and mother’s side. I guess it’s genetic?” Kevin suggests.

“
Mmm, maybe. Kevin, I’m going to go out on a limb here and ask you about your sexuality,” Mr Steward says.

Kevin hears
the da-da-da-daaaa of the beginning of the symphony he heard last night. Can it be his fate? It feels as if someone is choking him. His hands began to sweat and he keeps rubbing them on his thighs. “What about it?” he replies aggressively.

“Do you think about sex
?” Mr Stewart wants to know.

“No, well, yes
. I mean, who doesn’t?” Kevin says.

“And when you think about it, is it more about
boys or girls?” Mr Stewart asks.

Kevin gets annoyed and says,
“What? Are you implying that I’m a fag? You have no right to say that! It’s….”

Mr Stewa
rt interrupts him, “I didn’t say that, but you did.”

Kevin
realises what he has done. Then comes the outburst, “Who the hell do you think you are? This is insane. You are out of your fucken mind, man!”

Mr Stewart
quickly says, “Kevin, calm down, please!”

“No, I won
’t! And fuck you!” Kevin storms out of the classroom. He is boiling over with anger. No-one has ever confronted him with something like this and he isn’t having it. When he gets to the car his mother asks him: “Why are you late?”

“Why the hell did you tell the school that I have depressi
on? It’s none of their business,” Kevin yells.

“I think it is some of their business. They take care of you when we don’t
, so they have every right to know. What’s the problem?” his mother asks.

“Because I don’t need some asshole teacher to give me his 5 cents
worth of advice! I don’t want people to know. They think I’m a freak! Just leave me alone!” Kevin yells.

“Kevin, you should be glad that someone has at least some interest in you. Do you
have any idea what crappy teachers I had?” his mother asks.

“Yeah, yeah, I know you
r life was so much worse in every possible way. I don’t give a shit. Stop interfering in my life! OK?” Kevin says.

“I’m not talking to you now, because you’re full of shit! Calm down and then we can talk reasonably
,” his mother says and starts the car. Klara struggles not to begin laughing at the two having a go at each other.

The rest of the day Kevin
is impossible to deal with. At athletics practice that afternoon he does extraordinarily well and he feels much better afterwards. When he gets home, his mother asks him if they can talk about his depression.

“No, just leave it. Don’t you understand? There is nothing wrong with me! I don’t want to
take these stupid pills anymore!” he explodes again.

“
Oh yeah, I can see you’re emotionally stable, that is for sure!” his mother says.

Kevin
ignores her and goes to his room. More drama follows when his father gets home. It’s the same ranting from Kevin all over again. His parents decide to leave him. They don’t understand what the fuss is all about.

The next day Kevin skips
English class and thinks, ”I’m not going to face that prick of a teacher ever again!”