Going Back (7 page)

While John had no apprehensions about his return visit, he had another major reason for having his wife Tina on the trip: ‘Because Tina wasn't with me when I was in the Army, she has no idea of the Army, or the blokes, or what I did.'
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As an RMO, John had seen the harsher side of the conflict—what is often described as the debris of war. He said that when his time was up, he was ‘glad to be going home after having done my bit'. When the Australians withdrew in 1972, he felt:

. . . deep anger with the politicians who had ordered Australian troops up there to help the South Vietnamese repel Communism and give them a chance to attain democracy; but then when those troops had, at great mental and physical cost, achieved everything that had been asked of them, pulled the rug out from under their feet and made all their efforts—the lives and limbs lost; the fears, nightmares, psychological damage to so many—worthless.
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John doesn't mince words and he wrote that his chief concern when the South fell in 1975 was that the South Vietnamese people had ‘been used—betrayed in the worst possible way, by the politicians of the US and Australia, the media of both countries, the Jane Fondas and other ignorant, bleeding-heart do-gooders'.
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Tina said she came on the trip ‘to support my husband, who has been talking about Viet Nam since I met him, and I had no understanding—absolutely no understanding—of what Viet Nam was and what it meant to him'.
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Today John resides and works as a consultant anaesthetist in Brisbane.

Lieutenant Roger Wainwright, Platoon
Commander, Bravo Company, 5 RAR

Roger Wainwright was another RMC Duntroon graduate in 1965 who eventually made the Army his career. He had served in school cadets and when he saw Steve Gower—now the Director of the Australian War Memorial and a retired major general, who was a close family friend and was at school with his brother—coming back from RMC on leave where he was the senior under officer and had won the Sword of Honour and the Queens Medal, he thought, ‘Well if he can do it, so can I.' Roger adds with a laugh, ‘But it didn't happen that way.'
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Roger is an infantryman through and through, and he and John Hartley (also later to retire as a major general) were the first graduates from RMC to be posted to the newly formed 5 RAR. He described his knowledge of the war in South Viet Nam while a cadet as ‘very sparse', adding, ‘And even though 1 RAR had deployed there in April/May 1965 there was very little interest [by the cadets].'
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However, his knowledge of it rapidly grew as his unit prepared for the war:

The training that we did was very much getting into counter-revolutionary warfare and obviously taking lessons from the Malaya campaign and Confrontation and those sorts of things. We were out in the close training around Holsworthy pretty soon; I can remember doing platoon attacks; they had us in fairly thick areas around the Holsworthy Range. We did the training up at Canungra and I think we were the first battalion to go up there and do that. The good thing I remember about it was the CO had put a lot of emphasis on section and platoon-level stuff so we got to know our own people pretty well, and the last two or three days on the exercise at Gospers Plateau was as a company and in the company environment.
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Roger recalls their deployment to South Viet Nam as one of ‘firsts'. His platoon was the first one to fly out of Richmond, and the first infantry platoon of the Task Force (not counting 1 RAR, who were never in 1 ATF) on the ground in Viet Nam. He recalled the ‘tension, excitement and expectation' among his soldiers on the plane flying into Saigon, stating, ‘I think everyone realised that we were going into the unknown.'
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Roger's platoon saw a fair amount of action in South Viet Nam, and most of his men survived the fifteen or so contacts they had with the enemy. He was saddened by the loss of one man killed and fourteen wounded in action, of whom four had to be returned to Australia.

I asked Roger if it was a good experience for him, going to the war, and he replied: ‘Yes. As a professional soldier, you did what you had to; you proved things to yourself.' He added, ‘I mean how you handled yourself under pressure; how you lead people; if you kill people on the other side, how you react. And how you react when your own people are killed or badly wounded, and your relationships.'
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As President of the 5 RAR Battalion Association, Roger was the driving force behind the 2005 pilgrimage. It was his first trip back and one thing he really wanted to do was return to where his company headquarters was decimated by a landmine incident that killed his company commander, the company second-in-command, the forward observer, and wounded many more in company headquarters outside a small village called An Nhut. In a paradoxical way he also wanted to find out if going back was what he really wanted to do. As he explained, ‘If it turns out that I end up saying, “Gee, I wish I hadn't done this trip”, then at least I will know.'
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Roger's wife of 36 years, Tina, accompanied Roger on the pilgrimage. When asked why, she replied: I think curiosity more than anything else. I've also had a connection with my sister having lived in Saigon during the war, so I was interested to have a look at Saigon now. But mostly having heard all of Roger's stories—names of places, names of battles, names of things that happened to him—I was interested to be here and that's something I can share with him.
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Tina Wainwright was also not sure how Roger's emotions would hold up when he went back to places like An Nhut that she knew would be emotionally challenging. Looking at Roger during their post-tour interview she stated simply, ‘I wanted to be here to support him . . . if he needed it.'
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Today Roger lives in Canberra and works as a consultant to the Department of Defence.

Captain Tony White, RMO, 5 RAR

Tony White was the third doctor in the 5 RAR pilgrimage tour. He was accompanied by his wife, Doffy, and 32-year-old son, Rupert. Tony's family has a history of military service and two of his male relatives (John and Peter White) gained honour and recognition serving with the AATTV and the RAR respectively. Tony and Doffy had been to Viet Nam in 2002 attending a medical conference in Hanoi, and then did the ‘obligatory tourist circuit—Ha Long Bay, Da Nang, Hué, Hoi An and home via Saigon'. This would be his first return to the area where he served as the RMO in 5 RAR. When asked why he had decided to come on the trip he replied:

This—39 years on—is a long overdue pilgrimage to the scene of the single most important and vivid year of my life. The size and make-up of the party is ideal—brother officers and spouses plus a historical backbone [the author] to keep us honest. I expect that we'll have plenty of time, over the odd Bier 333, to rake over what the hell it was all about. I'm particularly proud that my son, Rupert, is accompanying us to deepen his knowledge of this slice of our family's history.
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Tony was pragmatic about what the countryside would be like when he returned to what was once called Phuoc Tuy Province, remarking, ‘I don't expect much to be recognisable at either Nui Dat or Vung Tau, but know that certain things—the heat and humidity, the smell of tropical decay, rice paddies, the silhouette of the Warburtons—will be quite unchanged.'
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Asked whether he had any apprehensions, Tony replied: ‘No, I have no worries. I feel that I've fully digested the events of my year of active service, and would be surprised by the emergence of any ghosts—but who knows until you get there?'
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Tony was looking forward to ‘the companionship of this small, wonderful group. I relish learning other people's perspectives on common experiences and expect to hear some great stories.' He added:

This was a very convenient moment because here was a group of fellow officers in the same unit, which I think is much more important than having just a bunch of mixed veterans. And Doffy agreed to come and I was very, very happy that Rupert also agreed to come. So it was a wonderful opportunity and not one to pass over.
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He was also keen to see what the locals are now making of their lives in the villages, and added sombrely, ‘I look forward to a minute's silence among the columns and rows of a rubber plantation.'
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Like many who spent a year on active service and witnessed the brutality and horrors of war, Captain White was elated on his last day on active service as he choppered out of Luscombe Field airstrip onto the deck of HMAS
Sydney
. He recalled that he was ‘mentally exhausted by the end of the tour and, like everyone else, at the end of my tether'. When the South fell in 1975, Tony was:

Deeply saddened by the finality and the futility of all those lost or damaged lives; all the solid duty put in by so many in the belief that they were on the ‘right' side and all now brought to zilch by this crushing defeat.
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Tony had heard a lot from other veterans who'd done trips back to Viet Nam. In hindsight he reflected, ‘I was expecting a rather limited and more threadbare experience than what it has been.'
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Doffy White ‘came with a very open mind', but admitted, ‘I was very nervous about being with the group and I thought really that I could be an extraneous person and I felt nervous about coming as a spouse.'
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She added that Tony had been asked to write a paper about a mine incident, and this was something of a catalyst for the family coming to Viet Nam together:

I just felt that I had heard so many stories from so many other people, not a lot from Tony until the last few years, until he'd written the story about the mine. And after that came out he started making contact with people that I hadn't met or just met very briefly. And I just sort of felt that there was a surge of knowledge that I needed to sort of come and clarify as well. Just to see where all these things were, to put them in context, to smell it, to feel it, to understand.
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Only occasionally do children accompany their veteran parents on tours to Viet Nam. Son Rupert was very keen, explaining:

Well, I had a thought; I always used to play with my old man's Army gear. He just had a duffle bag and loads of 8-mm film. I've always seen that quite a bit and Dad's been pretty good, detailing various things about his operational time. And when I got an invitation to this, I jumped at it.
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However, Rupert was also a little anxious about slotting into the group. ‘I was actually a bit nervous about coming along. I thought I might disturb the group a little bit, as far as all the guys getting together. If they wanted to let stuff out maybe they wouldn't.'
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As it turned out, Rupert's fears were unfounded and he was made most welcome by the group.

Today Dr Tony White lives in Randwick, Sydney, and is a practising dermatologist.

Once the group had decided to do the pilgrimage, they then set about determining the style of tour they would have, their basic and then later detailed itinerary, and how they would incorporate all the participants' individual requirements, as they all had various things they wanted to see and do. Roger Wainwright was primarily responsible for coordinating that aspect and making sure as many people as possible were satisfied.

The majority of the group would assemble in Sydney after flying or driving in from Canberra, New South Wales and Queensland. Others would join the group in Singapore and in Saigon. They would stay several days in Ho Chi Minh City, then take the hydrofoil down the Saigon River to Vung Tau and base themselves out of the resort town for several days while they visited the old Phuoc Tuy Province sites like Nui Dat, Long Tan, Binh Ba and the Long Hai Hills. They would then return by road to Saigon, fly to Da Nang and take some R&C in the beautiful seaside town of Hoi An after visiting Marble Mountain and Red Beach. Refreshed and relaxed they would then emplane a couple of days later for the national capital. In Hanoi they would finish their tour with an overnight trip out to Ha Long Bay and then return home.

Once the itinerary was sorted out Garry Adams and I briefed the group on what they could expect so that nobody had any false expectations. In October 2005, most of the group assembled in Sydney to fly out, and then met up with others (like Peter Isaacs, travelling from Europe) in Viet Nam.

They were off and running.

Part II
A PILGRIMAGE

Chapter 3
HO CHI MINH CITY (SAIGON)
AND SURROUNDS

Most visitors to Viet Nam, whether they are on a pilgrimage or simply a holiday, will want to see its largest city, which locals still call Saigon—although they tend to use the word to describe the inner city or central business district, and not the newer outerlying districts that have sprung up since 1976, when it was renamed Ho Chi Minh City. Those returning to this bustling metropolis will notice the changes at the airport and the expansion of the sprawling suburbs around the former Southern capital. What hasn't changed is the heat, humidity and the overpowering smell of the tropics. Even in the cooler wet season this is still a hot place to visit.