Golem in the Gears (15 page)

"Rapunzel!" the Hag called again.

"I just can't believe what you say about Mother Sweet- ness!" Rapunzel said, going to the window.

Grundy realized that the more he tried to condemn the Hag, the more it damaged his own credibility in the dam- sel's eyes. He would have to face the Hag directly. He dreaded the prospect, but saw no alternative. "Then let her in," he said with resignation.

Rapunzel was already taking the combs out of her hair and letting it drop down outside the Tower. Then she braced herself as the Hag took hold below.

Grundy saw how the slack went out of her hair and how it jerked as it was hauled on. But this did not seem to discomfit the girl as it might have; her head moved

only marginally as the hair took the weight of the climber. He realized that this was part of its magic: not only did it add no particular volume or weight to her head, it nul- lified the weight of what touched it, as far as Rapunzel was concerned. She really seemed to be a creature of two magic talents—but he knew that the magic of heredity didn't count as a talent, so her size-changes weren't a talent. The rules of magic could seem devious at times, but they were reasonably consistent.

What was he going to say to the dread Sea Hag? He was horrified by the prospect of this confrontation. She doesn't have any other magic! he reminded himself des- perately. All she can do is kill herself and take over the body of whoever lets her. I don't need to be afraid of that! But he was afraid. He wished he could have avoided this scene. If only he had left before the Hag returned!

All too soon the Hag reached the window and scram- bled in. She was indeed an ugly creature. She wore a black cloak and black cap with a dangerous-looking hat- pin, and black high-heeled boots and black gloves; even had she been beautiful, her aspect would have seemed sinister. Her facial features were not physically deformed;

in a picture they might have seemed ordinary, considering her evident age. But evil animated them, causing her mouth to be lined with cruelty, her nose to project snoopiness, her ears to be attuned to slanderous sounds, and her eyes to focus on all that was ugliest in the situation. Grundy hated her instantly and thoroughly—but he was also sickly

afraid of her.

"Mother Sweetness!" Rapunzel exclaimed, embracing the Hag. That appalled Grundy, but he dared not protest.

The old woman glared about, her nose sniffing. "I smell intruder!" she snapped. Then her mean old eyes fastened on Grundy.

"I—I have a visitor—" Rapunzel explained faintly.

"That's no visitor—that's a wretched golem!" the Hag hissed.

"You aren't any great beauty yourself, picklesnoot," Grundy retorted automatically, before he realized what he was going to do. His terror of the Hag reduced him to his most fundamental nature: the smart mouth.

"I'll get rid of it!" the Hag exclaimed. She strode to a closet and fetched out a broom.

"Whatcha going to do with that, witch—ride it?" Grundy demanded.

"I'm going to sweep you right out of this Tower!" she exclaimed, coming at him with the broom.

"Oh!" Rapunzel exclaimed, appalled by this violence.

Suddenly Grundy realized that this could be a way to convince the damsel of the truth about the Hag. Let the evil witch show her nature! "You couldn't sweep the dust out of your ears, old snoop!" he taunted her, dodging nimbly to the side as the deadly broom swept across.

"Stand still, you runt, and I'll flatten you!" the Hag grunted, smashing the broom down at him.

But Grundy had had decades of experience dodging just such attacks, and readily avoided the blow. However, he paced himself so as to be just a little way clear, so that the Hag would not know how clumsy her attack was.

This had an unanticipated effect. It fooled Rapunzel too, and she screamed as the broom landed. "Ooo, you'll squish him!" she cried, horrified.

Grundy was quick to take advantage of the situation. He scrambled to the damsel and hauled himself up her skirt and to her pretty shoulder. "Don't let her squish me!" he pleaded in her fair ear.

The Hag, enraged, raised the broom like a club and

charged forward—only to discover where Grundy had gone. She paused, broom threatening.

"What are you doing. Mother Sweetness?" Rapunzel cried, distraught. "I've never seen you like this!"

The Hag lowered the broom and composed herself, not wishing to disillusion the damsel. After all, if Rapunzel ever got the notion that the Hag was evil, she would not cooperate by yielding her body for the Hag's use.

This, Grundy realized, was the true confrontation: the question of whether Hag or golem was telling the truth. If he could win that, he would be able to rescue the dam- sel; if he could not, then all was lost.

The Hag forced a smile to her malevolent face. "I am only trying to rid this chamber of this rodent," she explained.

"Ask her why she keeps you prisoner here," Grundy suggested.

"But you are not a prisoner, my dear!" the Hag pro- tested before Rapunzel could speak. "This is your home."

"Ask her why you never get to go out," Grundy prompted.

"But someone must remain to supervise the lighthouse lamp," the Hag said. "It operates independently, but sometimes it glitches, and then it must be promptly attended to. You know that, my dear. Now just let me remove this vermin—" She extended her gloved hand.

"Ask her why she doesn't tend the lamp while you go out," Grundy said quickly.

"But you don't know the outside world," the Hag said.

"Yes I do. Mother Sweetness," Rapunzel said. "You have taught me all about Xanth, haven't you?"

This made the Hag pause. She had of course taught the damsel only what she felt it was safe for the damsel to know and that would also be useful after she took over

the body herself. Naturally a lot had been omitted, but it would be awkward to admit that.

"Has she told you about the way the Monster of the Sea never uses the lighthouse beam?" Grundy asked the damsel.

"But the Monster does use it," the Hag protested as innocently as she could pretend.

"How odd that the Monster told me the opposite," Grundy remarked.

"Rapunzel, are you going to believe this little liar?" the Hag demanded.

Now Rapunzel hesitated. She really did not know whom to believe. "I—"

Grundy saw that straight dialogue was not going to do it. He would have to force the Hag's hand more directly— and that would be risky. "Maybe I'm wrong," he said to the Hag. "If I stop insulting you, will you let me alone?"

The sinister calculations passed almost visibly across the evil face. The Hag didn't know how much he might have told the damsel before the Hag's return, or how much of that the damsel believed. Certainly she didn't want him staying around to utter more truths to the dam- sel. She would try to eliminate him at the earliest oppor- tunity. "Why of course, you little—creature," the Hag said with a semblance of sincerity.

So far, so good. "Then I'll just cross over to the bed and rest myself," Grundy said. He climbed down Rapun- zel, who was a bit startled by the procedure, and scooted across the floor to the bed. He hiked himself up the leg of it. "Stay alert," he muttered to Snortimer as he passed.

He reached the top, and made himself comfortable. "How about something to eat, old crone?" he inquired politely.

The Hag stiffened. As he had suspected, she had not

taught Rapunzel the meaning of terms like "crone." The damsel probably thought it was a respectful address, and the Hag dared not signify otherwise.

Then the Hag smiled, though it was as if she had to use hooks to stretch her grim mouth into the configura- tion. "Of course, Golem. I'll be right back." She trundled

out to the kitchen.

"Mother Sweetness always speaks the truth to you?" Grundy asked in the moment that granted him. He knew the Hag was listening, and would zip right back if he tried to disillusion the damsel.

"Always," Rapunzel agreed.

"So if you ever found her deceiving you in one

thing—"

"Here is your food," the Hag said, back already. She

carried a chunk of hardbread almost as big as Grundy

himself.

"That's great, old trot," he said with a smile. "Set it

down right there." He gestured to the foot of the bed. But the Hag was bringing it right to him. "I know this

will do you good," she said between her clenched teeth. "On your mark. Snort," he murmured, low-level. Suddenly the Hag dropped the roll and grabbed Grundy.

"Ha, I've got you, you little chunk of garbage!" she

exclaimed.

"What are you going to do with me, grotesque Hag?"

Grundy demanded loudly.

"I'm going to wring, your stupid tiny sniveling neck,

Golem!" she said.

"But you promised to leave me alone, snotface!" "And you were fool enough to believe me, you bit of

rag and bone!" she exclaimed with satisfaction.

"But that means you broke your word, prunebottom!"

he said as if shocked.

"Oh!" Rapunzel cried with maidenly dismay.

The Hag glanced back at her. "Oh, shucks!" she mut- tered. "Well, I'll get her straightened around after I'm rid of you. She always listens to my side, when there's noth- ing else." And she took hold ofGrundy's head and started to twist.

"Now, Snort!" he screamed.

A huge hairy hand reached out from under the bed and grasped the Hag's thin ankle. It squeezed and yanked.

The Hag let out a truly grotesque shriek and dropped Grundy. Simultaneously there was a snort of deep disgust:

Snortimer's, because of the poor quality of the ankle he had had to grab.

Grundy was ready for this. Instead of falling, he clung to the witch's hand, scrambled to her arm, and up to her shoulder. There in her cap was the huge metal hatpin he had spied before. While she flailed with her arms, trying to catch her balance, he took hold of the round knob at the base of the pin and hauled the length of steel out of the hat. In a moment he had a fine sword.

The Hag finally managed to wrench her foot away from Snortimer's grasp. Grundy jumped down to the bed, hold- ing his weapon. He bounced several times, as if on a Mundane trampoline, but kept his balance.

"What's a Monster doing under this bed?" the Hag screeched.

Grundy scrambled off the bed and dashed across to Rapunzel. "Are you satisfied now?" he called to her. "You saw her break her word!"

"There must be some misunderstanding," Rapunzel breathed, distraught. "She couldn't have meant to—"

"Hey, old bag!" Grundy called to the Hag. "What are you going to do with me when you catch me again?"

"I'm going to bite your troublesome little wooden head

off, and spit it into the sea, Golem!" she called back. "Right after I hack this Bed Monster to pieces and cook

it in the pot!"

"No misunderstanding, as you can see," Grundy said.

"She's an evil old woman, who has deceived you all along. She cares nothing for you, only for your body—when

she's ready to take it for herself."

"No, no!" Rapunzel cried, completely shocked. "That

can't be true!"

"Hey, old dog, how old are you?" Grundy called to

the Hag. "Is it true you were born yesterday?"

"I'm thousands of years old!" the Hag cried, stalking

him again with the broom.

"That's impossible!" Grundy exclaimed. "You don't

look a day over a century!"

"This body is only sixty years old," the Hag said, swinging the broom. "I took it forty years ago from the

last girl I raised in this Tower."

"Just as you are going to take Rapunzel's body," Grundy said sneeringly as he dodged the swipe. "Of course nobody

believes such nonsense."

"Nonsense?" she screeched. "I'm a Sorceress, you

contraption of rag!"

"You mean to say you never cared for Rapunzel at all,

old frump?"

The Hag, intent on stalking him, had grown heedless

of the damsel's presence. "Of course not, Golem! No more than I cared for any of the fifty maidens I used before. They're all mere fodder for my longevity."

Grundy saw Rapunzel lean against the wall as if about to faint. She had had enough. "Snortimer!" he cried in Monster-tongue. "When I douse the light, you go tie the damsel's hair to the chair, get her out the window, and help her climb down. I'll distract the Sea Hag."

Snortimer snorted agreement from under the bed. Then Grundy lunged at the lamp with his weapon, running it through. The glass chimney shattered; the flame shot high, then puffed out. They were in darkness.

"Think that will save you, Golem?" the Hag cried, bashing at the spot with the broom.

"No, but maybe this will," he cried. He strode forward and plunged the hatpin where he judged one of her big feet was.