Goodbye Secrets (The Lost & Found Series book #2) (16 page)

Man, he is so angry! That sounded
extra
British. I may need a panty change. I’m so focused on Hazel’s reaction that I don’t notice Grayson approaching me until I breathe him in and feel his chest against my shoulder.

“Now, Becca, why don’t you show me what you were looking at?” he snaps. Cue erratic breathing ...
damn it!
“Feeling nervous, sweetheart?” he asks as he leans down and opens the laptop.

“No, Mr. Holmes.” I whisper my new pet name for him. “I’m feeling like I want to fuck the shit out of you.” I nip at his earlobe as he takes in a sharp breath. A slow smile starts to form at his lips, but he manages to control it.

“Let’s see, what do we have here?” He works at retrieving the last thing I did.

I suck at his earlobe. “You sounded extra British, and you know what that does to me, baby.”

“Email or website?” He’s terse. I grasp his face with my hands to make him look at me.

“Stop, baby.” I kiss him.

“
Ansa me!
” he yells, making me jump. I can’t help my quizzical look. What is this about? “Email or website?” he demands, all up in my face this time.
I know what this is!
I no longer want in his pants. I want to
kick him
in his pants! “Email, I guess!” he says through his teeth and starts to investigate there. I get up and realize Hazel has already left. I follow her example.

I have two hours before Stacey gets here. Morgan’s out riding with her team around her; that can’t be much fun. It’s been a roller-coaster morning. I decide to take a nap in Morgan’s bed.

“Melissa, I’m going to go lay in Morgan’s room. Tell her to please not come in.” I grab the spare key to her room.

“Okay, Bec. Are you all right?”

“Just tired.” I smile and head off to her room. I lock the door and pull off my jeans. I pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow, defeated. He’ll never trust me.

GRAYSON

“Where’s Becca?” Aunt Hazel asks from behind me. “What are you doing?”

“I’m checking her deleted emails. She left.” I can’t believe she’s taking emails from him. Wait, maybe she sent him one!

“She wasn’t looking at any emails, Grayson. She was looking at a website for a British food store so she could have all of your favorites here for Christmas! How did I help raise such an asshole?”

I believe my aunt just slapped me upside my head as if I were twelve. I deserve worse than that. I
am
an arsehole! Oh, Christ! Why do I keep doing this to her? She keeps proving to me that she loves only me, and I keep proving to her that her efforts are futile! I need to stop this. She’s carrying my baby, for Christ’s sake! I close the laptop.

“You’ve got issues, son!” Auntie points her finger at me. Her eyes become sad and her chin quivers.

“I’m sorry, Auntie. I love you.” I hug her to me and kiss her hair. “I have to go find Becca. And grovel.” I sigh and get up to leave the kitchen.

“Looking for Becca?” Melissa grabs my arm. I look back and nod. “She’s napping in Morgan’s room. She doesn’t want to be disturbed.” I nod again and head up to our room.

Well, Grayson, you really stepped in it now!
I sit at the desk and try to come up with a brilliant plan to make up for my behavior. I hate Ray! I wish I could edit him out of our lives! I have to consider, though, where we may be had he not tried to come between us. Having Ray in the mix did indeed help her realize how she truly felt and get over the panic of her feelings. Still, I wish he didn’t pounce on her like he did, though I would’ve done the same in his shoes. I’ll just never truly be able to understand why she welcomed his advances so quickly. Because of their history? Because he waited so long, and she felt she had to reward him? She told him she regrets the timing. So she doesn’t actually regret being with him? How am I not supposed to always wonder? They may have a history, but she doesn’t really know anything about him, or at least his past. She has no idea of the amount of red flags he has raised. She’s only now getting suspicious of him! She has no idea how much he has omitted and lied about!

I have to keep her in the dark a little bit longer, though. We have so much information, incriminating information, but no solid links yet. I want to tell Becca what we have, if only to keep her more cautious and safe. She’s right—knowledge is power, and I am leaving her vulnerable.

I just don’t know if I can trust her with this information. She tends to be impulsive, especially now with her raging hormones. I’m not sure if I should tell her about Liz, but I may have to. That’s it! I’ll tell her about Liz. That’s the perfect way for me to apologize! Besides, Liz’s predicament has nothing to do with anything going on here!

I spring up from my chair and, with a new sense of purpose, head downstairs. I go to the front desk and look for the spare key to Morgan’s room. It’s gone.
Damn it!
I set out to look for Aunt Hazel—surely she has the master!

“Auntie, do you have a master key, love, for Morgy’s room?” To sprinkle a bit of sugar on my request, I offer her my best boyish (
remember how much you love me?
) grin.

“Yes, I do.” She walks past me.

“Erm ... can I have it, please?” This woman has a magical way of always making me feel like a twelve-year-old boy—and a spoiled one, at that!

“No. Leave her alone, Gracie. Give her a break.” She sits in one of the new armchairs in the lounge and picks up her knitting.

“What are you making, Auntie?” I sit on the sofa near her.

“A baby blanket.” She looks up briefly, then back down to her work. My mouth goes dry.

“Um ... uh, for who?” I stammer like an idiot, or a twelve-year-old boy who’s trying to hide something. She looks at me quizzically.
Shit. Double shit!

“Project Linus.” She looks back down and continues.

“What’s that?” I relax.

“It’s a nonprofit organization that provides handmade blankets for children, mostly critically ill ones.” She searches her knitting bag and retrieves a pamphlet, which she hands to me.

“Wow, Auntie, I didn’t know you did this. What a fabulous thing to do! I’ve never even heard of it before.” It’s such a simple charity, but so meaningful. Maybe it’s because I’m about to become a father for the first time, but I feel so deeply touched by the idea of this charity. I watch my aunt knit, smiling at my comment, and suddenly I’m transported back to London.

Every night, I’d practice piano and she would sit in the armchair near me, knitting and listening. I look over at the piano that’s now in the lounge.
Hmm.
I make my way over to it and sit dutifully. I begin to play one of my aunt’s all-time favorites.

“I see trees of green ... red roses, too ...” I glance over at her as I begin to sing. A blanket of warmth comes over her face. She’s remembering. I continue on with the song—lose myself in it. I miss this great escape. It’s been a while since I’ve just sat at a piano. I feel like myself again.

I finish the last chord and jump at the sudden applause. Turning, I find most of my security staff watching me. I’m a little embarrassed, but nod a little thanks toward them. Aunt Hazel holds up the key. I smile and go to retrieve it.

She pulls back.

“I always said you could charm the pants off a Royal Guard.” Her smile hits her eyes and I give her big kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, I don’t know about that, Auntie. I’ve tried!” I grab the key and take off for Morgan’s room. I unlock the door and breathe deeply before I head in.

The window shades darken the room, but I can still see. It smells of Morgan in here. Bubble gum and vanilla, her scent of choice for bodywash and shampoo. Becca is fast asleep, hugging Morgan’s pillow. I sit on the side and watch her. She looks so peaceful ... so beautiful. She jumps a little when I push her hair out of her face.

“It’s me, sweetheart,” I say quietly, although I’m not quite sure she’d find comfort in that.

“How did you ... ?”

“Aunt Hazel gave me the key.” I answer before she finishes her question.

“Oh.” She sits up and starts to smooth out the sheet next to her, avoiding my eyes.

“Erm ... so, I wanted to tell you that I got the information on Liz.” I grab her hand.

“Oh?” She looks up at me.

“Hi.” I smile and touch her face.

“Liz?” She looks away.
Damn it!
Okay.

“Well, she’s in Maine at a nursing and rehabilitation center.”

“What? Why?” She jerks her head back to me to give her full attention.

“She was involved in a terrible car accident a month after Annie was born. She was resuscitated, but her brain went too long without oxygen. She’s in a vegetative state.” I can see her mind is running seventy miles a minute.

“Why wouldn’t ... why would Ray tell Annie she just up and left as if she didn’t want her? Why wouldn’t he tell her what happened, or at least lie and say that she died? He has Annie thinking her own mother didn’t want her! What the hell, Gray? Anything else? Who pays for her medical bills?”

“He does, Bec.”

“Are they actually divorced?” Her eyes are wide. I can’t help the twitch I feel in my jaw.

“What the hell does it matter if they are divorced or not?”

Becca rolls her eyes at me.

“I’m just trying to understand what happened.” She’s irritated, and rightfully so.

“Why does it matter? She’s alive and not buried in his backyard or anything.” I tread lightly. This apology is not working out quite like I thought it would. She’s too quiet. “I’ll set everything up for you and Aunt Hazel to go shopping tomorrow.”
Oh, Christ!
Why did I just play that card? I don’t want her to go out!
Shit!

“Never mind.” She pulls the covers back on the other side and climbs out.

“No, sweetheart, it’s okay.”
What am I saying? It most certainly is
not
okay!

“Grayson, you have enough to worry about. Maybe I can send somebody to get what I need.” Becca Campbell is compromising with me? Even though I’ve behaved like a complete arse? I should feel relieved, but I’m actually uneasy.

“Becca?” I place my hands on her shoulders. She tenses up. “Baby, please, I know I’ve slipped up, but haven’t I been good lately? I am trying, Becca. It is harder for me here. With everything going on. I’m trying, baby. You’ve got to know that.” I think if I actually say the words
I’m sorry
, her head might explode.

“I do, Grayson. It just hurts. Every time I think we’ve moved on from it, you do something to remind me that it still lingers in the back of our minds.” I can feel her trying to keep her composure. I pull her back to my chest and circle my arms around her.

“You smell so good, Becca.” I inhale deeply at her neck and follow up with a soft kiss. She leans her head back on my chest and holds my arms to her tighter, and I know I am forgiven.

“Jesus! I didn’t think I’d ever get here!” Stacey shakes her head as the EMTs wheel her in on a stretcher.

“Hey, Stace!” Becca runs up and hugs her. She leads them to Morgan’s room. We decided to move Morgan upstairs by us, because Stacey’s leg is still broken and Aunt Hazel’s knees aren’t so good. I had to remind Becca to move Morgan a few doors down from us so she’d have less of a chance of hearing us pray.

“Morgy, as soon as I get this cast off, you can have your room back, honey! Thank you for letting me use it!” She gives Morgan a hug. Morgan heads back out of the room with the oddest expression on her face. I decide to follow and inquire about what is going on in that brilliant little mind of hers.

“Say, Morgy girl?” I grab her hand.

“Yes, Daddy?” She looks up at me. Still one of my favorite sounds.

“Let’s have a chat!” We head to Becca’s office.

“Am I in trouble?”

“Morgan, are you ever in trouble with me?” I tap her knee playfully as I sit in front of her. “No, I want to know about that look on your face when you were leaving your Aunt Stacey.” She winces a little. “Go ahead, sweetheart, you won’t get in trouble.” Knee tap again.

“Well, I’m just not too sure about her anymore. Is she going to start acting weird again?”

“Um, I hope not. But if she does, please come and tell me, little sweetheart, not Mummy. Okay? I need to know what kind of weird things she’s saying.” I’m not quite sure how to explain the reason to a ten-year-old, so I just stop there.

“Okay, Daddy-o!” She slaps my knee. That’s it? No questions? God, this kid is awesome ... just like her mother. I chuckle to myself.

“Go on, get outta here!” I kiss her hair. As I leave the office, Derek approaches me with a young, quite attractive woman in tow.

“Sir, this is Melanie Jacobs.”

“Pleased to meet you, Melanie.” I shake her hand. Oh my. Wow ... she’s beautiful. Long, strawberry-blonde hair, huge blue eyes, and a lovely pale complexion.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. James.” She smiles a gorgeous smile.

“Well, let me show you to Stacey’s room.” I finally let go of her hand.

“Sure.” A flash of that smile again. I lead the way to the room to find Becca sitting on the bed, laughing with Stacey.

“Sweetheart, this is Melanie Jacobs,” I say a little too loudly.

“Oh, hi, Melanie!” Becca jumps up to greet her. Melanie keeps smiling. Becca brings her over to Stacey and I can’t help but stare at her fantastic bum. It’s very bubbly, but a nice bubbly. I glance up to find Becca watching me purposefully. I feel like a deer in headlights as I try to figure out her expression. She walks up to me and gently pulls my lip from my teeth, pats the side of my face, and walks out of the room. I didn’t even realize I was biting my lip. I’m pretty sure that did not look good at all.