Goodbye Secrets (The Lost & Found Series book #2) (46 page)

“Mmm.” He kisses me. “I absolutely love when you get like this, sweetheart. It makes you insatiable in bed ... love it!” He pushes me down. He seems so massive as he climbs on top of me.

“Grayson, please get off of me. You’ve got me so aggravated.” I struggle against his arms.

“Mmm ... baby.” He kisses across the top of my chest. “Have you not heard. A single. Word. I’ve. Said?” He brings his mouth up to mine and teases me by attempting to kiss me, then jerking away as I reach my mouth for his.
I hate when he does this ... it drives me crazy!
My breathing is erratic and I can hear my blood pumping loudly in my ears. He leans in to kiss me again, but quickly shifts his head and playfully bites at my chin. I feel him growing against me and, as usual, my perfidious hips jump into action. “Eager, Mrs. James?” he asks seductively in my ear before he bites at my earlobe, reluctantly releasing it after a long suck.

“Grayson—goddamn it—let go of my arms!” I try to pull them free.

“Do you want me, sweetheart?” He rubs his nose across mine. “Hmm?” he hums near my ear as he grinds against me.

“Grayson ... please.” I close my eyes.

“What, sweetheart? Tell me, love. Tell me you want me. Tell me you need me.” He stares down into my eyes.

“You know I do,” I barely whisper.

“What’s that, Becca?” he asks as he teases me with another purposefully failed attempt at kissing me.
How is it possible to be so turned on and so pissed off all at the same time?

“Damn it!” I breathe, frustrated. “I want you, baby.” White flag flying at full mast. A satisfied smirk blankets Grayson’s face.

“Now—in order—to give—you what—you want, darling,” he says softly between kisses across my jawline and down my neck, “I have to—release—your arms. Do you—promise—to be a good—girl, sweetheart?” He brings his face back to mine and nudges my nose before he finally collects my lips. “Promise?”

“Yes.” I lean up to kiss him again. This time, there’s no teasing involved. He releases my left arm and I immediately fist his hair as we deepen the kiss. “Ahh!” I gasp as he plunges inside of me. His thrusts become powerful and urgent. My hips meet them with the same intensity.

“Becca, I can’t get close enough.” He releases my arm and dives his own beneath me, grasping my shoulder. His right hand squeezes my left hip as he pulls it harshly to him. I gasp at the fullness of it all.

“Grayson ... please.” I bite at his shoulder. I’m not exactly sure what I’m begging him for. I just know how much his intensity overwhelms me. His mouth finds mine again, and I am devoured. After several minutes, I can feel myself begin to climb.

“That’s it, sweetheart ... pray for me!” His command sends me over the edge as I come undone.

“Oh God, baby!” I cry as my hands grasp harshly at his back. Grayson’s face scrunches up as he groans my name. His hips slow down as he spills himself inside of me. He crashes down on top me and we pant in silence for a minute or two.

Grayson lifts his head and stares into my eyes.

“Do you have any idea how truly amazing we are together? I’m not just talking sex, Becca. We’re bloody amazing in every way!” He says this with such passion I can’t help but smile. I close my eyes and let a slew of amazing non-sex memories hit me. We’re in a bookstore. I don’t remember what we were saying, but I sense the mixture of intrigue and irritation. Dancing in the aisle at the grocery store. Sitting on his lap in front of the computer, laughing. Him chasing me in the backyard at the California ranch with a can of whipped cream. Horseback riding down the beach, with him sitting behind me. I’m leaning back ... we’re laughing at something. He’s in front of me, down on his knee—there’s foliage all around us. Where were we? When was this?

“Becca ... wake up, sweetheart.” Grayson shakes me.

“I’m not asleep.” I open my eyes.

“Good. Well, let us have a shower, then, before we head downstairs.” He climbs off and pulls me with him.

“Gray?” I look at him. I’m a bit confused.

“Yes, darling?”

“Have I forgotten any of my memories with you at all?” I wince.

“No, sweetheart, why?” He pulls me along toward the bathroom.

“Well, I just had a flash of memories about things I don’t remember us doing.”“Becca, you fell asleep. You must’ve dreamt it, or you’re psychic and saw memories that are yet to be!” His eyes widen with amusement.

“Shut up!” I smack him playfully as we walk into the shower.

“Is it safe to come in?” Hazel asks as I start putting the lasagnas in the oven.

“Yes.” I turn around, sighing. “I’m sorry, Hazel. I’m very hormonal lately.” I walk up and hug her. “Can you forgive me?”

“Of course, Becca. I know where it’s coming from, dear. Here we were, thinking we were helping you, and none of us considered that you enjoy your holiday traditions.” She holds her hands out for emphasis.

“It’s that, along with a few other things,” I say with a sigh. “It wasn’t right for me to take it out on you, though. I am really sorry.”

“Well, it’s all over now. Let’s drop it.” She pats my arm and heads over to check on the sauce.

“So, why are you guys not with Charlie’s family for Christmas?” I continue, putting the other trays of lasagna in.

“Security. Grayson wanted us here.” She shrugs.

“Sorry,” I offer.

“Stop, it’s okay.” She smiles.

“Grayson’s been a little funny the past couple of days—a bit off, really.” I wipe my hands on a dish towel after placing the last tray in.

“Quite a bit of that going around, aye?” Her arched brow tells me I may be placing high on her shit list.

“What do you mean?” Maybe I’m overreacting.

“Your behavior with Ray. You know, you
are
engaged to my nephew.” She’s flat. I’m definitely not overreacting. Not only am I high on her list, but I fear my name may be highlighted as well.

“I know who I’m engaged to,” I say under my breath.

“Oh ... well, maybe things have changed since my day. Used to be when you were engaged to one man, you wouldn’t have your tongue down another man’s throat!”

“Hazel!” I gasp.

“Don’t ‘Hazel’ me! I have to tell you, Becca, I’ve about had enough of you hurting Grayson!” She slams the lid back down onto the sauce.

“I’m not trying to hurt him. I love him, Hazel.”

“Could’ve fooled me!” she yells, then storms out of the kitchen, leaving me and my guilty conscience to myself. Yep, I should’ve stayed in bed today! I set the timer and head out to the lounge. I find Grayson and Morgan laughing on the couch.

“What’s so funny, guys?” I smile at them.

“Oh, nothing, Becca.” Grayson clears his throat.

“Daddy, c’mon. It’s Becs ... baby.” Morgan imitates Ray.

“Morgan!” I smack the back of the couch near their heads. “Ray put so much time and thought into your Christmas gift to show you how much he cares about you, and you’re making fun of him?” I yell.

“Whoa, Becca, calm down!” Grayson raises his voice to me.

“No! She’s been nothing but completely disrespectful toward him!” I have to defend my reaction. “He’s only tried to help me take care of her for the past five years! He’s been good to you, Morgan!” I am definitely flirting with overreaction now. I can’t even stop myself. “Considering all of the shit I’ve put him through, he’s been an awesome dad to you!”

“
That’s enough!
” Grayson stands up and yells in my face. “You are overreacting, Becca!”

He’s so right.

“Morgan.” I look over at her. She’s crying. “Excuse me,” I say to Grayson so he’ll move out of my way. I walk up to her and hug her. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m a little nutsy today.”

“Mom, I was just joking with Daddy. I wasn’t ... I love Ray, Mom. I know he tries. I love the gift he gave me. I know he worked hard on it.”

Sometimes I feel like she is fifteen instead of almost eleven.

“I know, Morgy. I am sorry. I’m not myself today.” I kiss her face and hold her against me.
I’m sorry,
I mouth to Grayson. He shakes his head and looks away, then grabs his coat and heads outside. “Excuse me, Morgan. I need to talk to Daddy.” I rub her arms before I fetch my coat as well. The cold air hits my face as I walk out. It’s refreshing and brisk. Snow is lightly dusting the ground.

“We’re supposed to get six to eight inches tonight,” Grayson says, his back turned to me. I walk up to him, wrap my arms around his waist, and hug him from behind.

“I feel as if our roles have been reversed.” I lean my forehead against his back.

“What do you mean, sweetheart?” He’s barely audible.

“It used to be you saying
I’m sorry
all the time. It’s a terrible feeling to always be apologizing.” I turn him to me. “What can I do? What can I say besides those two words that are becoming quite irritating to hear?” I play with the stubble on his chin.

“Becca, I told you what I need. I haven’t gotten it yet.” I can feel his frustration.

“I’m trying.” I play with the buttons on his coat. He grabs my hands to stop them.

“It’s simple, Becca. Full focus on me! No mention of Ray! No thoughts of Ray! I’m asking now the same thing I’ve been asking for two days. So far, you have failed to deliver! Do you think you can manage the rest of the day and tomorrow? I am trying so hard to be patient with you, and you are not making it very easy.” His eyes are closed as if he’s trying to muster the strength not to blow up at me.

“You’re doing a great job,” I offer, instead of apologizing.

“Becca, damn it!” He throws my hands down.

“Okay, okay! I’m not doing this on purpose!”

Grayson palms my face.

“I love you, Becca. I love you with every fiber of my being. This is killing me, sweetheart. Please! One day of just our family ... that’s all I want.” His lips softly caress mine. I lean up on my toes and allow him to deepen the kiss.

“Hey, let’s grab Morgan and take a walk in the snow.” I smile up at him.

“Now ... that ... sounds like a lovely idea.” He offers me a few more pecks.

We head inside to grab Morgan and our boots. With Morgan’s hands in each of ours, we take off to the left past the stables and barn.

“Hey, baby, where’s the detail?” I look around. Nobody is with us.

“We’re fine, love. They’re watching.” He smiles down at Morgan as he swings her arm with a bit of exaggeration.

“Where? I don’t see them.” I look around harder.

“Becca, we’re safe! Stay focused.” From the look on his face, I decide it’s best not to push it. It’s so pretty and peaceful out here.

“Look at the trees, Gray. They’re like a painting.” I point at the limbs, heavy with snow. It is quite the sight. My admiration of God’s beauty is short-lived, though, as a snowball lightly explodes against my cheek. My jaw drops, and I hear Grayson and Morgan having a good laugh at me. “Oh ... it is so on!” I announce, and wipe off my face before I squat down to retrieve some snow. A full-blown snowball fight ensues. The three of us run around chasing each other, laughing and carrying on. I stop and have a “smell the roses” moment as we collapse to the ground. They start making snow angels. I take my phone out and snap a few pictures before I join them. Grayson reaches above Morgan’s head. My hand meets his and our frozen fingers lace together.

“There’s my girl.” He smiles at me, a full-wattage Grayson James smile. My heart leaps as I commit his smile to memory. It’s one of those moments that bring tears to your eyes. Maybe it’s because you are aware of the sweet memory you are making—who knows?

“Sir.” Derek clears his throat.

“Yes, Derek?” Grayson leans up on his elbows.

“Your aunt wanted me to tell Mrs. James that her timer went off.”

“Shit!” I jump up. “Thanks, Derek!” I pat his arm and run toward the house.

“You’re welcome, Mrs. James!”

“Becca! Careful, darling—don’t fall!” Grayson calls after me. Of course, I slip at that moment, but catch myself and chuckle as Grayson yells obscenities behind me.

I go in through the store and strip off my scarf, coat, and boots. I give myself one final shake to release any snow that may have ended up in an unusual place. I run into the kitchen to find Hazel already pulling trays out. I grab serving bowls and spoons for the sauce, sausage, and meatballs.