Goodbye Secrets (The Lost & Found Series book #2) (8 page)

“Is he sick, Mommy?” I can hear the depth of her concern—she’s ten going on thirty.

“No. At first they didn’t know what was wrong, but when I went to visit him today he perked right up! That’s when they realized he was just sad and missed us. He’ll be back home in a few days.” I nod at Karen to thank her for the tea and slice of cheesecake that apparently Grayson ordered for me.

“Well, that’s good, Mommy! I miss them, especially Butterscotch. Mommy, what if she gets really sad like Rocco?” Her voice shifts to complete and utter panic. “Mommy! Tomorrow, take Daddy’s iPad out to Butterscotch and I’ll Skype with her!”

Grayson scrunches up his nose and mouths
what?
to me. Clearly he heard her excitement, how could he not? I had to pull the phone away from my ear, she was so loud.

“You know what, Morgan? I have to go visit Aunt Stacey in Boston tomorrow, so I’m sure Daddy will be more than happy to help you Skype with Butterscotch!” I can’t help the stupid grin that comes over my face or the shaking of my shoulders when I giggle silently. Grayson’s rolled his eyeballs so far they may just get stuck! He then points to me and makes circles at his temples with his index finger to indicate I’m crazy.

“Oh, good! How’s Aunt Stacey, Mommy?”

“She’s the same, sweetheart, keep praying for her! I miss you, Morgan.” I get choked up again. Grayson’s mouth pulls into a slight frown.

“Can I come home for Christmas, Mommy, or are you guys coming back here?”

“What are we doing about Christmas, babe?” I tap his hand. Grayson grabs the phone from me.

“Hey, Morgy girl! Shall you come home for Christmas, little sweetheart? Good then! You’ll fly home next weekend, love. Okay. Here’s Mummy. I love you too, more than you know. And you are my stars. G’nite, love.” He hands the phone back.

“Okay, sweetie, so it looks like a white Christmas for us!” I’m very excited and squeeze Grayson’s hand.

“I can’t wait to see everybody, Mumsy!” Oh geez, back to an English accent.

“I love you, Morgy, talk to you tomorrow!”

“Love you, Mumsy, mwah!”

“Mwah!” I kiss her back, “Good night, baby.”

“Good night, Mama.” I hang up and quickly grasp Grayson’s face to kiss him.

“Thank you, baby!” I smile against his lips.

“Of course, sweetheart, anything for my girls! Now eat your cheesecake!” He flicks his eyes over at it.

“Just a little, I am very full.” I play with stubble on his chin.

“Don’t worry, darling, you’ll be working it all off.” He kisses me again.

“I can’t wait to work it all off. I want you so bad, baby,” I murmur against his lips. This provokes a sharp intake of breath from him. His phone pings and the distraction pulls him away from me all too easily. I’m certain it’s because we’re in the dining hall and not our room. I’m also certain it’s because it could be about a number of important things that we happen to be in the middle of. All of the sudden my theme song changes to “Yesterday” by the Beatles. It’s not a completely accurate representation of what we are going through, but just the sentiment of yesterday, before all of this craziness, is fitting. Ping. Text. Ping. Text. He sets the phone down.

“What was that about?” I sip my tea and play with the tag, smirking at him. He chuckles and scratches his palms. I can’t help but laugh. God, I love him! “Gray? What was that about?” I ask again.

“Nothing.”

“That was a lot of texting over nothing. Your fingers must want to fall off when it’s about something ... vs. nothing.” I hold my hand out and wave my fingers for him to hand me his phone.

“Sorry, sweetheart, that’s my thing, not your thing.” He pushes my fingers to my palm to close my hand into a fist.

“I thought your
thing
was sorta my
thing,
as well.” I bait him.

“My
thing
is most definitely more than sorta your
thing
. Incidentally, when did it become
The Thing
? He rather liked the original name you gave him, and so do I.” Third thing we’re really good at is baiting each other and turning anything from normal and usual into something sexual and provocative.

“Well, I can’t help but wonder, is he
really
that incredible? It seems to me that I’m having a really difficult time recollecting how incredible he is. Hmm.” I tilt my head as if to ponder.

“Oh, sweetheart, he and I would love nothing more than to refresh your memory!” He pulls my hand up to his lips. Keeping my gaze, he playfully bites at the top, then kisses it.

“Shall we go then, Mr. James?” I stand up abruptly.

“After you, Mrs. James.” He matches my haste and we practically run through the lounge and up the stairs to our room. Grayson can’t get the door open quickly enough for us.

“Damn it! I hate this!” he mutters impatiently before he finally manages to unlock it. He grabs my hand and drags me in.

“Gray!” I laugh as I almost fall forward.

“Sorry, love!” He braces me with both hands and slams the door with his foot. I kick my shoes off as he pulls my shirt up and over my head. I pull at his shirt and strip him of it. He works at my bra, me at his belt. Our mouths devour each other’s. He pulls away abruptly and stares down into my eyes. His thumb traces over my bottom lip. He does this every once in a while, and it leaves me to wonder. Wonder what he is searching for? What is he thinking? Is he just holding on to a moment? His lips caress mine softly, his hands following suit over my body. What happened to the sense of urgency from not two minutes ago? His mouth travels down my neck, my sternum, and to my stomach. I lose my hands in his hair as he spends a generous amount of time kissing my stomach.

I hear him whispering
I love you
to my belly as he pulls my jeans down.

“You know, I believe if you say it right in here,” I point to my belly button, “it works as an intercom system and the baby will hear it loud and clear. Well, once he or she grows ears,” I tease.

“Is that so?” He grins up at me. “Hello in there, my little heartbeat. I’m your daddy and I love you! You’ll be my moon and I’ll be your stars!” He tests the theory out. I just stand there and fall more in love with him. It’s amazing how he does that. “Where are you, sweetheart?” I open my eyes and look at him. His eyes are glued to mine as he slides my panties down.

“I’m lost in my thoughts of you.” I step out of them. “Didn’t you have something incredible to show me?” I give him my most mischievous grin.

“Patience, my love.” He stands in front of me again, allowing his jeans to drop. I glance down at him and bite my lip. God, the site of him never loses its effect on me. He removes my bottom lip from my teeth before leaning down to bite it for himself. “God, I want you, Becca,” he murmurs against my lips.

“I’m all yours, baby—forever.”

“Becca, you promise?” He leans his forehead against mine.

“Yes. No question about it. I promise.” I grasp his face in my hands and make him look at me. “No question. No doubt. One-hundred-fifty percent yours.”

“No matter how angry you get with me? No matter how controlling I try to be? You know where my heart is? You won’t run anymore?” His hands squeeze over mine.

“Never. I promise, no matter what. You are my heart. You are my soul. I love you with every fiber of my being. You ... you only.” I shake his head a little for emphasis before I attack his lips. He lifts me up and carries me over to the bed. He lays me down gently. I try to focus on the task at hand here, but I can’t help but wonder where the hell all of that just came from. Is it because we’re here? Is it stirring up memories and insecurities for him? Is it the “Ray incident” at the hospital two weeks ago? No. No, why would all of this come up now?
Damn it!
It’s because I won’t be with him the next few days! He still doesn’t trust me!

“Oh, Becca, c’mon, love. Where is your head at, sweetheart? It’s surely not here with me in this bed.” He sighs with slight annoyance, but mostly disappointment.

“Sorry, baby. Just thinking about how much I’m going to miss you. I don’t like being apart from you.” I choose the road less traveled by us today—the non-argumentative one.

“Well, miss me later. Love me now.” His lips collect mine. My hand dives into his hair to deepen the kiss. He climbs on top of me and pulls his mouth away from mine to stare down into my eyes again. My fingers play with his lip as I nudge him with my knee.

“Please, Grayson,” I whisper, and nudge him again. He shifts a little and slowly I feel myself expanding around him. “Oh ... Gray.” I close my eyes to fully absorb the sensation.

“Look at me, sweetheart,” he beckons breathlessly. I open my eyes and he pulls out quickly, then fills me slowly again. He does this several times—enough to drive me mad.

“Please, baby, please ...” I think I shall truly lose my mind if he keeps this up. He bites my lip again and quickens his pace.
And deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and ... the glory ... forever ... and ... ever ...
“Oh God, baby ... oh God and Baby Jesus!”
All Sybeccas are in their robes having a revival. I think Cautionary Sybecca is there playing the tambourine.

“Bec?” Grayson starts.

I raise my finger.

“Shh ...” I just need a moment to return to this planet. Whew. Okay. “Yes, sweetie?” I open my eyes, and once again I’m staring into his gorgeous ones.

“Did you pray to Baby Jesus?” He chuckles.

“I may have done that ...” I bite back my smile and push his sweaty bangs away. “Now, Mr. James, care to enlighten me on your pre-coital thoughts?” There was definitely something interesting going on there. I’m pretty confident he won’t share, though. Probably to avoid the wrath of Becca Campbell for the third or fourth time today. Wow! I was really on a roll! In my defense, he’s done a lot of things to piss me off! It’s not like he was oblivious either as to how I may react.
Control freak!

“I plead the fifth on most of it, Becca.” He sighs as if he’ll get the wrath just for that.

“Um, are you even a U.S. citizen? Because if you aren’t, I don’t think you can plead the fifth, babe.” I poke at his chest with my finger.

“Well, sweetheart, since this isn’t a real court of law, I don’t really have to worry about technicalities.” He sounds so melancholy. He squeezes me to him and kisses my forehead.

“Ugh, Grayson! What is the matter with you?” I lift my head off of his chest to encourage an answer.

“Sweetheart!” he says, with a bit of annoyance in his voice. “We’re in the middle of a huge shitstorm! I think I’m entitled to be a bit all over the place, am I not? I mean, I’m trying to keep everyone safe and happy, trying to salvage my career and all of my businesses. I’ve been handling your business and your ungrateful attitude about everything I do for you! Christ, Becca! Do you think for once, just once, sweetheart, you could thank me for my efforts before you fucking chew me out?” He finally takes a breath of air as he plants his hands on top of his head and closes his eyes to either regain his cool or ... prepare for my wrath. God, I have been a bitch!

“Well, Mr. James, I have to say that you sound even more British than usual. Something must be done about that!” I opt for teasing instead of more attitude. I play with the stubble on his chin and trail kisses down his jawline. “What shall I do with you, Mr. James?”

“How about you fucking marry me?!” Annoyance. Again.

“Grayson.” I lift my face. “I
am
marrying you! What are you talking about?” Christ, my divorce was only finalized today! Is the ink even dry?

“I want a date, Becca! I want you to pick a fucking date! I know you want Stacey there, love, but it could be days. It could be
years
! We’re having a baby! The rumors that will fly around about me only marrying you because of that will be bad enough!”

“Wait, Gray! We’ve been engaged for a while and the world has known for almost as long. If people can’t do the math, they’re idiots!”
Years?!
How can he be so negative about Stacey’s recovery?

“Becca, you say you’re mine. I know it sounds stupid, but I need it in writing. I have to have everything ... well, under control. I can only do so much ‘flying by the seat of my pants’ crap! If this didn’t happen to Stacey, we would’ve been married by Christmas!”

I sit up and pull my knees to my chest. This is because we’re in New Hampshire, because Ray is ten minutes down the road. He wasn’t carrying on about a date before we came back. He feels threatened. Apparently, he thinks a piece of paper will resolve these feelings. I, however, don’t think five of these papers will change how he feels. Moving to another country might help, but that’s a bit drastic.

Grayson sits up after a beat and leans over to retrieve his phone from his jeans.

“C’mere, love, let’s have a look.” I’m guessing he’s pulling the calendar up.

“Your birthday, is it at the beginning of January?” I try to shake my smile.

“Yes—the third—why?” He flips to the New Year.

“Because you’re a typical Capricorn—one duck out of the row and the whole pond will go missing!” I push back to sit next to him. I lean into him and look at the calendar as well. “You’re a very bossy man, Mr. James.” I sigh and feel his lips on my cheek.

“Thank you,” he whispers near my ear, and I know it’s because I’m choosing a date and not because I called him bossy.

“How about March?” I offer. “I’ll be in my second trimester ... ugh, I’ll be in my second trimester. Maybe we can have Billy Idol perform. He can sing ‘Shotgun Wedding’ instead of ‘White Wedding.’ Oh, but we might be taking the thunder away from the tabloids if we do that.”
My sarcasm knows no limits or bounds.

“How about Christmas?”

Please tell me his sarcasm knows no limits or bounds!

“Grayson, that’s two weeks from now.” I give him the “hell to the no” face.

“Sweetheart, it’s perfect! I’m sure you’ve been wondering ... ‘Ugh, what do I give the man who has everything?’ Well, you can give me you! No hopeless search through the mall. Countless hours on the internet ... just searching ... wracking your brain ... ‘What am I going to get Grayson?!’” I’m in hysterics.