Grayson (This is Our Life Book 1) (4 page)

I knew I had her the moment our hands touched.  It felt like two magnets being pulled together because of their magnetic properties.  That’s how it was with Ella; she’s the positive to my negative.  All night she’s been taunting me with her hot and sexy outfit that I just had to have a taste of her. 

I begin humming along with the tune
You Can’t Hide Beautiful
by Aaron Lines, booming out through the hay field.  Swaying her back and forth, I manage to get us even closer than I’d hoped.  She seems to be putty in my hands, and I crave it.  I’ve been holding out, trying desperately
not
to have this moment, but here it is.  I know she can feel my excitement about our situation pressing hot and hard against her stomach. Still, she makes no move to release the embrace we have wrapped around each other.   So I take advantage of our position and lean in to give her my best panty-melting kiss.  What I don’t expect is how it shakes me to my core. 

Grabbing her face in my hands, I tenderly kiss her left eyebrow and make my way to nibble on her earlobe.  I give the same attention to the other side of her face, ending with featherlight kisses on her lips.  Her sweetness is calling to me, and the uncontrollable urge to take this further overwhelms me.  I deepen the dance of our tongues, caressing her lips and tongue softly, yet demanding more.  I'm an animal, devouring my prey.   Focusing on where we are and knowing how uncomfortable Ella would be, I rein the beast in, severing the kiss, and pull her head toward my chest.  Even when the beat of the music picks up, we continue dancing to the tune we’ve created together.  It was a soul-awakening kiss. 
Yep, I’m in deep, deep trouble!

Summer started off with a bang! That kiss rocked my world and left me yearning for more. 
Ella
.  She's all I think about. Imagining her body against mine, learning her innermost desires, keeps me in constant pain from not having her.  Today's Thursday, and I'm headed to my grandma's house to cut her yard. 

Matilda Rose Blackwood is a force to be reckoned with.  Don't get her riled up. She's a fierce protector of her family.  She grew up on a ranch in Alabama and met my grandfather at the county fair in Lakeview one summer when she had visited her cousins.  Theirs was a whirlwind love affair.  He swept her off her feet, and before she knew what happened, she was living in Lakeview and was pregnant with my Aunt Polly Jean.  Two years later, she had my father, and ten years later, my Aunt Becka was born. 

After my grandfather passed years back, she moved from the main house on the ranch into a cottage closer to town and her friends.  She said there were too many haunted memories floating around and she was ready for a new beginning.  And, it allowed my father to take responsibility of the day-to-day operations that he had been groomed for and had patiently been waiting to slide into.  She's the one person in my family I know I can count on no matter what. 

I pull up in her front yard and she's waiting in her rocker, sipping her coffee.  That woman can drink coffee even when it's a hundred and one degrees outside.  "Hey grandma, how's it going?" I ask her.

Leaning forward, watching me walk, she replies, "What's wrong with your back?"

She knows.  I can tell.  No matter what, she is attuned to my actions, because she's been there, done that, got the ticket and all that jazz.  My grandfather was not the nicest person.  He killed a man back in the day, for God's sake, had to enlist in the military or go to jail, and she still wouldn't leave him.  Being from the archaic, once married always married, till death do us part, is grandma’s motto.  Thank goodness he passed away before I was born.  The things I've heard about him scare the shit out of me.

"Nothing's wrong with me," I reply, knowing I'm not getting off the hook that easily with her.  She squints those old, insightful eyes and stares at me as if she's reading my thoughts. 

Sighing, she asks, "He's been at it again?" with worry in her voice.  She’s tried to intervene the same as mom, but somehow it only makes matters worse, not better. 

Not answering, I switch topics, "I met someone," knowing this is the sure fire way to get her mind off of my back.

"Really," she answers, drawing out every syllable of the word.

"Yep, I think she's the one for me, maybe my zing," I comment, leaning in to kiss her cheek.  My grandma believes that God creates one perfect soul mate for each of us, and once we find them, lightning strikes and you can't deny your destiny.  Confirming the possibility I've found the zing to my zang explains how important Ella is to me.

"Well, it's about time, young man, you've been dilly dallying around for so long we've got bets going on how as to if you'd ever have a girlfriend.  Between your aunts and sisters, the pot’s up to two hundred dollars, and that inside information might help me win it," she smiles, and I begin to ponder what the heck my grandma is talking about.

"Details, sweetie, details!" She continues smiling, and I know laughter will be following soon.

"She's a year younger than me and I know her through ROTC.  I've been watching her since she moved here a few years back.  I'm thinking of asking her out," I state, uncertainty lacing my voice. I don't want to rush Ella and lose her now that she's actually talking and, um, kissing me.

Grandma sips her coffee and looks toward the ducks swimming in the pond, nodding occasionally at me to continue, and I tell her everything, even about the bonfire kiss that rocked my world.  My chest is lighter and breathing seems normal.  Little did I know how much I needed my weekly chat with her.  Since I can remember, my grandma has sheltered and protected my sisters and me. Her nurturing voice is a balm to my battered soul.  Our time together ends when his truck arrives. My father has come to ensure the lawn is done the way he deems it should be done.

"Hi Maw, son," he greets as he exits his truck and slams the door.  He looks around, noticing the yard hasn't been touched, and a gleam of hatred is directed at me.

"We've been enjoying the peaceful day, Wood. Grayson was filling me in on his college applications," she says, and I'm grateful once again she knows not to tell him about my new girl.  Granny always seems to put fires out, help those in need, and protect her most beloved.  Thank the Almighty I'm one of them.

Finally reaching the front porch, he sits in the rocker beside grandma and begins to list the reasons I need to finish here and head back to the ranch, none of which are crucial, but that doesn't matter.  He's controlling my actions like the grand puppet master he is.  Getting up, I head to the junk house and begin my labor of love for my grandmother, keenly aware that my father is watching my every step and there’ll be hell to pay later on.

My father leaves shortly after I start.  Thank goodness.  Once grandma's yard is done, I head out to meet up with Johnny and Connor for a bite to eat at our favorite hamburger joint in town, Coney Island.  It's near the railroad tracks and I get stuck waiting for the noon train to pass before I can savor one of the best burgers in the world, or at least in my world, that is. 

We all hang out, drinking ice-cold A&W root beer and talking about going to a party at the beach this weekend.  My comments are interrupted when the girl that's been plaguing my every waking hour steps through the door, Ella.  Looks like she's got a summer job working for Old Man Cain. Life couldn't be better, since I eat here close to three times a week. 

Walking to work in the dead of summer in Florida's humid heat is not smart.  Entering Coney Island, sweat running down my back, I glance at the small table in the front and see Grayson and his friends eating.  His head snaps up, and that gorgeous smile I dreamed of last night is drawing me in.  Quickly turning away, I scamper to the back room to stick my purse in the borrowed locker and clock in for work.  It's not the greatest paying job, but it helps supplement the money needed for my mom's expensive medication. 

Returning to the main floor, I run smack dab into a massive chest.  I draw in a deep, lustful breath and Grayson’s beautiful smell inundates my senses, calming my already wound up body.  Hands immediately grab my arms to stabilize the impact, and I look up into those amber eyes.  "Where's the fire, sweetheart?" Grayson asks while stroking my arms.

"I'm running behind today and need to help with taking the orders. It's packed in here," I mumble, trying to escape his charms and arms.

Last night, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't devote any more time to Grayson Blackwood.  I have responsibilities that take priority over having a little fling with him.  I made a list of pros and cons and well, the cons won.  Hands down.  He's too good for me, for Christ's sake. He's wealthy, gorgeous, and leaving for college next summer.  I have no experience with guys like him.  Keeping my mind focused on the future will help me get out of this podunk town and away from the helplessness at home.  My dad has started a business he won't talk about.  I know we will be moving again soon.  It's inevitable. 

Looking at Grayson, I whisper, "Look, I know what happened at the bonfire and all, but you and me, well, we can't see each other.  And that kiss, it’s never gonna happen again.  Do you understand? Friends.  That’s all.  I can’t kiss you again."

Alarm and hurt register on his handsome face, but I can't worry about him.  It's better to severe ties now than be devastated later.  Backing away, he shakes his head and walks out of the restaurant without a backwards glance.

What have you done, Ella?
I'm distraught, but know this is for the best.  I can't be another notch on his belt. I’m not ready for that yet.  I'll never be good enough for him either.  Oil and vinegar don't mix, and I'm definitely not sweet as sugar. Pushing all thoughts of Grayson out of my mind, I focus on the task at hand.  Taking orders, serving the crowd, this is my life for now.

The summer seems to drag by as slowly as a slug on a rock.  Between ROTC, sports, and the ranch, I didn't have time to pursue the lovely Ella how I planned.  Today is the first day of my senior year.  I meet up with the guys for breakfast at Tropical Palm, where everyone is talking about football and whether we will make it to the state finals in Tallahassee again this year.  Connor and Johnny are at our table when I walk over and sit down. 

"Are y'all ready for our senior year and to whoop some fish-head ass this week?" I ask as I motion to the waitress to give her my order.

"Hell yeah! I'm ready," Connor relays, while we all give our order to the waitress.

Johnny doesn't answer as he shakes his head and laughs at the obscene comments we've made.  These are the times I’ll miss when we all go our separate ways.  We've been playing sports together since we were knee high to a grasshopper, and I can't imagine not doing this next year.  Since we were five years old, we've played football, basketball, and baseball. Season in and season out.  It kept us focused and disciplined. 

We finish up breakfast and make it to school before the first bell rings.  That's when my eyes land on her and my palms begin to sweat.  She's dressed in a red and black short-sleeved top and painted-on blue jeans.  Her hair flows down her shoulders in curls and the light in the room glows around her, causing a halo effect.  Mouth-watering beautiful.   After her decision to "be friends," I decided that time was on my side. Waiting for her to see me as more, well, that’s a challenge I readily accepted.  She looks up and catches my stare. So much relayed is in that brief moment as an electrical pulse runs between us, charging both of us, always connected.  Yeah, we are so much more than friends.

After class, I catch up with Ella and we walk to her locker.  "How was your summer, Bluebird," I ask.

"You know good and darn well how my summer went. I worked! Not all of us can take the time off and enjoy going on vacations or lounging at the beach.”
If she only knew. 

She continues, “People depend on me," then slams her locker door and stomps off to her next class.

What the holy hell was that? The little imp unloaded her mind on me, and I was completely unprepared with a comeback as I watched her grab her books and head to her next class.  No worries, I'll talk to her after school.

After practice, I make a beeline to Ella.  She’s talking to Sarah about the movie they plan to see this weekend, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.  Never would have thought she would be into those movies too.  It’s one of my all-time favorite book series.  Jo used to read them to us at night. 

“Ella, you got a minute? I need to talk to you about earlier,” I interrupt their conversation and grab her arm.  She looks stunned and cautiously follows my lead. Once we are out of everyone’s hearing, I ask her why she was so short this morning.

Exhaling a long breath, she says, “Sorry, Grayson.  I didn’t mean to come across so harsh.  It’s been a rough few weeks. My mom’s health is getting worse and it hurts watching her in so much pain, and my dad’s being such a friggin’ jerk about it.  Why the hell can’t he show her a little compassion?  She’s dying, you know, d-y-i-n-g.”

I glimpse the tears forming in her eyes and pull her close to me, knowing she needs a hug.  I’ve never met her mom, but I know it would destroy me if something happened to mine.  

“You’ve had a rough time, haven’t you, Bluebird?”  All of sudden it comes to me.  My new game plan for Ella. “I’ve got a proposition for you.  How ‘bout you and me try being friends and just hang out together and see where this,” I point my finger between her and me, “goes.  What do you say, Ella? Deal?” I hold my breath, waiting for her answer.

I watch her face as she considers my proposition.  She’s unsure about what I’ve asked. I wonder if that's because she cares for me.  After what seems like hours but is only a few seconds, she starts nodding her head up and down.  That’s all the answer I need as I close my arms around her, letting her take what she needs from me.  I’ll be her friend, for now. 

It’s Christmas time.  One of the best times of the year.  Today, I’m at home with my mom and Evan, decorating our tree.  It reminds me a little of Charlie Brown’s tree, small but full of love.  The smell of chocolate chip cookies baking fills the air as Bing Crosby sings
We wish You a Merry Christmas
on the radio.  We all chime in and sing along as we plug in the lights to the tree. 
I will miss moments like these when she’s gone
.  Plastering a huge smile on my face, I begin singing again and grab the next ornament to hang.

Since the beginning of school, so much has happened.  I can't stop thinking about the past few months with Grayson.  He's been relentlessly pursuing me.  He won't let me go.  Everywhere I turn, he's there.  If I’m at work, he shows up, orders a drink, and sits quietly watching me take orders and serve food.  When we’re at drill practice, he sneaks quick, sexy as hell winks at me. 

Sarah and I went to the movies last weekend.  When we were exiting the theatre, there he was, waiting to drive me home.  It's like he can't help himself.  The funny thing is, I like it.  No, I crave his attention.  My anticipation of what he’ll do next keeps me on my toes. 

We've spent many afternoons after drill practice sitting on the bed of his jacked-up truck at the school, talking about so many things.  My future, his future, where we see ourselves in five years, ten years.  The more I get to know the real Grayson Blackwood, the more I approve.  He's not at all how I perceived him to be, or like the raunchy rumors going around school for that matter. 

I’ve found out that Grayson has a true fondness for all his sisters, even with the age difference.  They are much older than him and Addie.  He's told me stories about each one of them.  I'm drawn into all his versions of them and am becoming more and more impressed with him.

One afternoon while reminiscing about his family, he mentioned, gazing up toward the horizon, "The leash has to be taken off.  It’s not gonna happen till I can break away from him.  It’s a pattern, Bluebird.  They all got out of here, and that's what I plan to do too."

When I questioned him more about his statement, he just leaned in, gave me a peck on the cheek, and said, "No worries, Bluebird.  I'm gonna do something really important and it doesn't involve staying in this town."

I let it go, because at that point, thinking about the possibility of him leaving was unbearable for my heart.  Although these feelings I’ve cultivated for him are getting stronger and stronger.  I'll be devastated when he’s no longer here.  My reaction is inescapable. 

Winter approached with a cold spell or two, quite normal for this Florida coastal town. With the season, it also brought my seventeenth birthday.  Grayson surprised me with an exquisitely crafted pink heart charm as my gift, which he delivered personally during our lunch break in the school cafeteria.  I was completely shocked as he walked toward me, holding my present in one hand and a lit pink cupcake in the other.  He began singing, “Happy Birthday to you…” and before I realized it, the whole cafeteria filled of my peers was singing along with him like the chorus at a recital.  A humbling moment, for sure.  I still wasn’t sure what the pink charm was for, but I accepted it because it was from him.

Then one day before holiday break, Grayson gave me an elegant platinum charm bracelet with an army charm hanging off it, and that’s when the pink heart charm clicked. 

“Oh, wow...just wow, Grayson.  This is an amazing gift.” My eyes pooled with unshed tears from the tenderness of his gift.

The enormity of his gesture cracked the surface around my heart!  It’s the most precious present anyone has ever given me.  I had nothing to give him in return, except my friendship along with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

"I didn’t expect something in return, Bluebird.   Just wanted to see that sparkle in your gorgeous eyes and know that I put it there,” he motioned to my smiling face and then laid his hand over his heart.  “I wanted you to have something from me. ‘Tis the season of giving and kissing and mistletoe, right?” We both burst into laughter at his silly but heartfelt words.

Grayson’s vocabulary and presentation will be the death of me. He keeps tearing down the walls I’ve built.  Walls to protect my heart.  And for now, we continue on, without being ‘more than friends’.  He mutes my insecurities and soothes my soul.  I'm growing more dependent upon his charming heart. 

My father's been acting strange the past few months. I can't quite put my finger on it.  He hasn't been watching my every step for a mistake.  No notes left on my truck at school.  No snide remarks.  I've even approached him about attending West Point again, and he didn't overreact or comment. When I questioned mom, she didn't help at all, saying she had noticed the lack of interaction between us.

I didn't make curfew last Saturday night, because I was helping Johnny fix his flat tire and totally lost track of time.  When I arrived home, I was expecting the worst, and what greeted me set uneasiness to linger. 

"Grayson, where have you been, son?" my mom started the interrogation, only to be interrupted by father.

"You're late," he stated as he got up from his recliner in the family room. I braced myself for impact.

I stuttered and began rapidly explaining what happened, only for him to continue down the hallway without acknowledging my words.  Stunned that he didn't attack me, I looked to my mom for answers.  She shrugged and nodded her head left to right, biting her bottom lip with worry.

"He's been tired lately, son," she commented as she hugged me and followed him to bed.
Huh? Weird. 
But, I'm not allowing him into my psyche to play mental games.  His change will have to be more than that for me to forgive or forget a lifetime of hurt.

As puzzling as my father's actions have been over the last few months, they’ve also allowed me freedom from the ranch.  I've spent as much time as I can with Ella.  Since we are only friends, we normally hang out with our group of friends.  Just friends.  It works for now, but I’m preparing her for more.  She’s not ready to accept it yet.  One day she’ll be all mine.