Groom Wanted (20 page)

A quick glance at his outfit, and he couldn’t understand why they’d been so nice to him. He was the most underdressed man in the place. He’d taken money out of his winter supply fund to buy a new pair of pants but the rest of his attire was his Sunday church clothes. If people didn’t like the way he was dressed, well, that was their problem. He wasn’t out to impress anyone. He was who he was and if no one liked it, then they didn’t have to associate with him.

“Where’s Elizabeth?”

“Don’t know. I told her I needed to talk to you.” He scanned the room but didn’t see her.

“Does she correct your
faux pas?
” She tugged at her bottom lip and her head tilted at a slight angle.

“My what?”

“
Faux pas.
You know, social blunders?” She hiked a shoulder.

“Nope. Not once.”

“You’re fortunate.” She glanced at him then down at her lap. “Fitzwilliam took me aside and rebuked me. He told me he couldn’t believe I hadn’t dressed properly this evening.”

The muscle in Jake’s jaw jumped as he bore down on his teeth.

“How was I supposed to know how to dress for an opera? I’ve never been to one before. Not even back in New York. They were always held late in the evenings and we were in our bedrooms by then.” She turned her face away from him.

“Leah.” He tugged on her chin until she faced him. “Any man who cares about outward appearances instead of what’s on the inside where it really counts isn’t worth caring about. It’s like all those people in
Pride and Prejudice
. All they cared about was outward appearances and how much wealth and power a person had. That ain’t right.”

“You’ve read
Pride and Prejudice?
”

Jake clamped his jaw shut. He couldn’t believe he’d mentioned that book. No avoiding her question. “Yep.”

“When?”

“Finished it the other night.”

“What made you read it?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yep.”

“How come?”

Jake ran his hand across the back of his neck. “If you must know, it’s because you kept talking about how you wanted a man like Mr. Darcy. I was curious what kind of man he was. Have to admit, I’m surprised you want someone like him. Even though he did turn out to be a nice fellow in the end.”

“I keep hoping that’s what will happen with Mr. Barrington. He’s only trying to help me correct my social
faux pas.
I’m certain once I learn those things he’ll be different, too.”

“Leah.” Jake locked his gaze on hers. Using his sternest tone he said, “Fitzwilliam isn’t some hero in a fictional romance novel.”

“I know that.”

“Do you? Mr. Darcy isn’t a real person, Leah. Life isn’t like a storybook, either. Fitzwilliam may or may not change. This may be the way he really is. You need to ask yourself if you’re willing to take that chance.”

She said nothing in reply. Only stared at him.

He’d frustrated her. But what kind of friend would he be if he didn’t speak the truth to her? He had something else he needed to talk to her about, too. But now was not the time or the place.

“Oh, Jake. There you are.” Elizabeth glided toward them, her dress swaying side to side like a ringing bell.

Jake rose. He turned to Leah and quickly said, “I have something important I need to tell you. Later, okay?”

Leah nodded.

Elizabeth curtsied at Leah and her smile appeared genuine. “Good evening, Leah. You look lovely this evening.”

Jake sent Leah a see-I-told-you-so look.

“Thank you, Elizabeth. You do, too.”

It was sweet of Elizabeth to compliment Leah. She would make someone a great wife. Not him, but someone. Elizabeth, too, was out of his league. Plus, Jake couldn’t imagine having Fitzwilliam for a brother-in-law. He felt sorry for Elizabeth having a brother like him. And he would feel even sorrier for Leah if she ended up marrying the guy.

The thought of Leah marrying that phony fellow was terrifying. Jake couldn’t let that happen. If nothing else, he had to at least talk her into finding someone else. He loved her too much to watch her marry a man like that. He started when he realized the thought that had just gone through his head. He loved her. More than that, he was
in
love with her.

“Time to be seated, everyone.” Mr. Barker spoke loudly from the front of the room, stopping Jake’s musings.

Fitzwilliam walked up and claimed Leah’s arm, and Elizabeth claimed his. Not wanting to lead her on, yet refusing to be rude, he allowed her to, and the four of them made their way to the chairs.

Jake sat in the chair directly across from the open doors and only feet away. Elizabeth sat next to him, then Fitzwilliam and then Leah.

Shortly after everyone was seated, a rotund man started singing. The man had a nice enough voice, but Jake couldn’t understand a word he said. For the next hour, two other men and three other ladies joined him. The songs got longer and harder to endure. When the singing finally ended, to avoid getting trapped in the crowd, Jake got up immediately and went to stand next to the open doors. Elizabeth, Leah and Fitzwilliam joined him.

“Wasn’t that a fine display of talent?” Fitzwilliam asked Leah.

“He sang beautifully, but I couldn’t understand a word he said.”

“You didn’t? How very odd.” Pomposity oozed from the man.

What did Leah see in this jerk?

“Nothing odd about it. I didn’t understand a word, either,” Jake said with no apology whatsoever.

“That doesn’t surprise me—a country bumpkin such as yourself.”

“Hey, don’t talk about Jake that way,” Leah blasted Fitzwilliam and disengaged her arm from his.

“Brother, please.” Elizabeth bowed her head in embarrassment. “It was in Italian, after all.”

Fitzwilliam turned his attention to his sister. The man was a pill, but he sure loved his sister. You could see it in his eyes.

“Very true, sister.” He turned back to them. “My apologies to you both. I don’t know where my manners are lately.” He gazed down at Leah. “I fear jealousy is causing me to act in a manner most unbecoming.”

“Jealousy?” She tilted her head.

“Yes. I must admit, I’m quite jealous of the relationship you have with Mr. Lure here. However, I’m sure I have no need to be alarmed on that account. For very soon, if I have my way, you and I shall be heading back to New York.” His smile was fake at best. “In fact, what better time than the present to make my feelings on the matter known? Leah, my darling, please say you will be my wife.”

Like a sucker punch to his middle, the wind whooshed out of Jake’s lungs.
Marry?
His attention flew to Leah. Surely she wouldn’t say yes.
No, Leah. Say no.

She stared at the man with wide, blinking eyes and an open mouth.

Fitzwilliam fingered her mouth shut, shifted to the other foot, glanced around and then smiled. “Of course, you do not have to answer me straightaway, my dear. I shall give you this evening to consider my proposal. On the morrow you can give me your answer. I shall come by early in the morning if that is agreeable with you.”

“Um. Oh. Um. Ye-yes. Th-that will be—be just fine.”

A dagger ripped at Jake’s heart, shredding it to pieces.

The day had come.

Leah would be leaving.

No! No!
He refused to let that happen. He’d rather move to the city than live without her. How he would survive it he didn’t know, but if that’s what it took... His heart raced, and his palms turned damp just thinking about it. He swallowed hard, hoping the panic would go away.

Somehow.

Somehow he’d figure it out.

He had to.

Before she gave Fitzwilliam her answer, he had to talk to Leah, to see how she felt about him, about them. In the next breath, he hoped and prayed she wouldn’t reject him this time. For this time, with his heart on the table, her rejection would surely kill him.

* * *

Leah watched as Fitzwilliam gave Jake a smug grin, then he excused himself and headed to the group of prominent men he’d been visiting with most of the evening.

She shook her head, unable to get over how Fitzwilliam had asked her to marry him in front of everyone. More importantly, in front of Jake.

Jake.

She couldn’t wait to find out what it was he wanted to talk to her about. But wait she must.

“It sure is warm in here.”

Leah turned her attention to Elizabeth. Miss Barrington splayed her fan and waved it in front of her face. “Jake, would you be a dear and get me something to drink, please?”

He turned his attention to Leah. “Would you like something to drink, Leah?”

“Please.”

He nodded, and Leah’s gaze followed him as he headed toward the refreshment table.

“Isn’t he the most agreeable man ever?”

Leah yanked her attention toward Elizabeth. “Isn’t who the most agreeable man?”

“Jake.” Elizabeth hooked arms with her. She glanced around the room and then she leaned closer to Leah. “He’s been so attentive to me. So much so that I think he’s in love with me.”

Shocked to the very core of her being by Elizabeth’s statement, Leah wondered if what she said was true. Was Jake in love with Elizabeth? Leah’s thoughts trailed back to how attentive he had been to the woman.

How he held Elizabeth longer than necessary whenever he helped her down.

How he saw to her comforts.

How the two of them laughed and joked.

How he’d gazed at her and had given her his undivided attention.

How willing he was to go every time Leah had invited him along. It had all been for Elizabeth, not for her.

Is that what he wanted to talk to her about? To tell her that he had fallen in love with Elizabeth and that he wanted to marry the woman?

What had she done? She’d driven the man she loved into another woman’s arms.

Her mind scrambled to find a solution, but there was not one. If only God would have shown her a way to deal with the loss of her father. But He hadn’t. And now she was about to lose the only man she’d ever loved. It was a no-win situation. If she married Fitzwilliam, Jake would be her brother-in-law. If she stayed, the nightmares and the loss of her father would continue to torment her. Earlier, she’d already made up her mind not to marry Fitzwilliam, and now that decision was cemented. There was no way she would marry Fitzwilliam and have to watch Elizabeth and Jake together all the time.

Jake married to another. That idea ate at her heart like a deadly cancer.

Lord, show me a way to make this work. I can’t lose him. I can’t. I know You have an answer. I’m asking You to reveal it to me. And soon. Before it’s too late.

“Here you go, ladies.” Jake’s voice pulled her out of the heart-wrenching pit her thoughts had taken her to.

He handed them each a glass.

Elizabeth threaded her arms through his. Jake looked down at her. Never taking her eyes off of Jake, Elizabeth took a small sip. “Thank you, Jake. That was very sweet of you.”

“My pleasure.”

“Yes. Thank you, Jake.” Leah forced a smile onto her lips. Even that was hard when her heart was breaking.

“Jake.” His attention went back to Elizabeth. “I was wondering if you removed your advertisement yet. You said you were no longer in need of it.”

Remove his ad? He hadn’t told Leah he was going to do that.

“Yep. No need for it anymore.” He looked at Leah, then back at Elizabeth.

He no longer needed it?

Elizabeth smiled at Leah and gave her a look that said,
See what I mean? He is in love with me. He’s even stopped his ad as proof.

Realization pummeled Leah’s soul. Jake had said he needed to talk to her. Is that what he was going to tell her? That he’d removed his ad and that he no longer needed it because he was going to marry Elizabeth? Or that he’d finally decided to respond to one of the other women who’d answered his advertisement? Either way, it was too late for her and Jake. Or was it? Surely there had to be a way to work this whole thing out. She couldn’t lose Jake. She just couldn’t.

Chapter Sixteen

L
eah skipped through the ranch yard and up into the trees singing, “Father. Father. Where are you?” She repeated it over and over as her eyes searched for him. Farther and farther into the forest she went. The foliage thickened as did the trees. Sweet syringa scents swirled around her. She stopped, raised her nose in the air and drew in deeply, then frowned as something awful went up her nose. She looked around, trying to figure out where the stench was coming from.

She watched as a tree fell in slow motion and landed with a crunch.

Leah walked over to the fallen tree and stepped on top of it. Her focus drifted to her feet.

Her eyes widened.

A man was trapped underneath the tree. She couldn’t see his face.

With one hop, she leaped off the massive trunk.

“Don’t be scared, princess.”

“Father?” Leah swung one direction and then another, searching frantically for her father.

“I love you, princess.”

“Where you are, Father? I can’t find you.”

“I’m right here.”

“Where?”

“Here.”

A single beam of light pierced through the darkness.

Leah shook her head. “No. No. I’m sorry, Father. I’m so sorry.”

* * *

Leah’s eyes bolted open, blinking, searching, trying to get her bearings through the morning twilight. When she realized she was in her bedroom and that the whole thing had been yet another nightmare, tears soaked her face as the fresh pain of losing her father assaulted her all over again.

Dear Lord, will these nightmares ever end? I can’t take even one more of them. Please, won’t You make them stop?
She’d prayed the same prayer a million times over the years. Even though the nightmares hadn’t ceased, she refused to stop praying. God was her only hope. And now she needed Him to deliver her even more than ever. Her future depended on it.

At first, she truly believed Fitzwilliam was God’s answer for her and that once they were married and moved to New York the nightmares would end and she would be free from the place that had robbed her of her precious father. That might very well be true, but it wouldn’t solve the problem of being in love with Jake or having him for a brother-in-law.

Jake? A brother-in-law? She tossed her coverlet off, stormed over to the washbasin and splashed cool water on her burning face.

Despite Fitzwilliam’s certain disapproval, which she no longer cared about, when Leah completed her toiletries she dressed in a simple lavender dress—the one she always wore when church was held at their home.

Downstairs, she headed into the kitchen. Veronique had the day off, so Leah put a pot of coffee on the stove, cooked up a batch of Swedish pancakes and fried thick slices of ham. She’d just set them in the warmer when she heard the padding of slippers on the floor.

“Good morning, Leah.” Mother entered the kitchen wearing her nightgown and robe. “I’m surprised to see you up and dressed so early this morning. I figured as late as it was when we got home last night, you’d sleep in this morning.”

“Couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d make breakfast so I could help get things set up for church today.” Leah went to the window and pulled back the curtain. “At least it’s another nice day today.” The sky was covered with its usual large fluffy clouds sprinkled throughout the blue vastness. She let the curtain fall and headed to the stove. “You ready to eat?”

“No. Not yet. A cup of coffee sounds nice.”

“I’ll get it. You stay seated, Mother.”

Mother nodded, placed her elbow on the table, rested her chin in her hand and sighed. “Why don’t you sit down and have a cup with me?”

Leah nodded, poured them each a cup of the hot brew and sat down.

“Did you enjoy the opera?” Mother cupped her hands around the beverage.

Leah considered lying but realized she didn’t have the energy to fake being happy. “Not really. I didn’t understand a word they said. Some of the women’s voices were so high they hurt my ears.” Those high, shrill voices came from the very ladies who had snubbed her. “Did you enjoy it?” Leah blew into her coffee.

“It was all right. Not something I’d like to hear very often.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. It wasn’t my type of music at all.”

“Why’d you go then?”

“Because Charles asked me to.”

“Does he host those kind of parties often?”

“No. He only did it because the man was his friend. Truth is, Charles doesn’t care for them at all, and he couldn’t understand a word they were saying, either.”

That shocked Leah. Fitzwilliam had made her feel like there was something wrong with her and as if she were the only one who didn’t understand. Well, she and Jake, that was.

“How are you and Fitzwilliam getting along? Do you think he’s the one?”

“He asked me to marry him.”

Mother set her cup on the table and leaned forward. “What did you say?” Was that concern on her face?

“I didn’t. He said I could think on it and tell him today.”

“Have you decided whether or not you’re going to accept his proposal?”

“Whose proposal?” Abby stepped in the kitchen with her hair all rumpled, tying the string on her robe. She flopped into a kitchen chair. “Jake’s?”

“Jake’s?” Mother sat up straighter, eager eyes blinking in Abby’s direction. “Why would you think Jake would propose to Leah?”

Abby straightened, and her gaze flew to Leah’s and locked there, screaming,
I’m sorry
.

Leah sent her a brief warning glare to make an excuse and drop it.

Abby shrugged. “Just wishful thinking, I guess. I really like Jake, and if Lee-Lee married him, then she wouldn’t leave.”

“I understand that one,” Mother said under her breath, but Leah heard her nonetheless.

If they only knew how that could never be. She sighed. Tired from all the tug and pull on her heart, Leah rose and gathered the food out of the warmer. Both Abby and Mother wanted her to marry Jake. She wouldn’t mind it herself now. Except she was probably too late. As much as she wanted it to be so, marrying Jake wouldn’t solve her nightmare problem, or seeing Mother with a man other than her father, or her hatred for the place that killed her father, or her desire to go back to where times were better.

Torn between her love for Jake and her desire to leave, Leah struggled to find a solution that would give her all of her heart’s desires. Was that even possible? She wasn’t sure. One thing she was sure of— She had to risk talking to Jake and telling him everything. If it wasn’t too late, perhaps they could come up with a solution together. After all, he’d helped her so many times in the past.

Breakfast flew by with Abby regaling in her dramatic flair about the evening at Mr. Barker’s and how fabulous it was. Leah wished she could say the same, but the whole thing had been torture. When they finished breakfast, each went to their bedrooms to get ready for church.

Leah loved when church was held out on the ranch. So did the rest of the town. Though they had an almost-new church building in town, everyone still wanted to gather at the Bowens’ ranch at least once a month during the summer season, and Pastor James had readily agreed.

An hour and half later, the parishioners’ wagons started rolling in, and Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth were among them. She didn’t know what to tell the man because she hadn’t had a chance to talk to Jake yet.

Fitzwilliam stepped down from the buggy and offered his sister a helping hand.

Leah drew in a deep breath and headed toward them, knowing she could not be rude.

“Good morning, my dear.” Fitzwilliam kissed her hand. “You look—” His brown eyes took in her attire. He leaned close to her. “Is that what you’re wearing to church?” Fitzwilliam straightened and looked around with a smile as phony as a three-headed animal.

Enough was enough. Leah refused to let him belittle her or criticize her anymore. She raised her chin. “Yes. This is what I’m wearing.”

His countenance immediately changed to one of disapproval. “We’ll discuss this later, my dear.” Haughtiness tinged his voice.

“There’s nothing to discuss.”

“Brother, please.” Elizabeth put her hand on his arm.

Leah turned to Elizabeth, whose big brown eyes were pleading with her brother once again.

“Good morning, Elizabeth.” The warmth in Leah’s voice was no act, even though the woman was a threat to her happiness.

“Good morning, Leah. I fear I must apologize for my brother.”

Someone needed to. He sure didn’t offer an apology for himself. “How are you this morning?” Leah asked. She
really wanted to know. Elizabeth was a sweet lady.

“Very well, thank you.” She looked around. “Is Jake coming?”

Guilt pricked Leah’s conscious at the thought of hurting someone as sweet as Elizabeth. But then again, what if she and Elizabeth were wrong and Jake didn’t love Elizabeth? Then what? The only way to find out was to talk to him. If Jake was indeed in love with Elizabeth and planned on marrying her, then as much as it would kill her, Leah would forget her plans about talking to him about everything. She would take that as God’s answer to her prayer about the whole situation.

“Yes. He should be here pretty soon. Would you two like to go ahead and be seated?” She pointed to the side of the house where the chairs were set up in the shade.

“We’re sitting outside?” Fitzwilliam’s eyes widened in horror.

Leah wanted to yell, “Brother, please,” but she didn’t. “Yes. We are.” She let out a long sigh, hoping he’d get the hint.

He emitted a disapproving breath. “Well, one time shan’t matter, I suppose. But things will be different once we’re married.”

Leah mashed her teeth together. Now was not the time to say what was on her mind. Not before church. But the time was coming and it was coming quickly. Not quick enough, though.

“Shall we all be seated?” Pastor James said from the wooden podium.

Everyone flocked to their seats.

Leah sat in the last bench, purposely saving the end spot for Jake.

Jake. Where was he?

* * *

Jake had spent the past hour chasing down his goat. Meanie had escaped once again. He still hadn’t found her, but he didn’t want to be late for church, so he finally abandoned the search for his runaway goat, hoping and praying she hadn’t gone to Mabel’s again.

With a tuck to his horse’s side, he galloped to the Bowens’ and arrived just as everyone had gotten seated. Voices rose in worship to the Lord. He tied his horse to one of the hitching posts near the barn, pulled his Bible out of his saddlebag and strode to the side of the house.

Spotting an empty place on the end, and knowing Leah had saved it for him, brought a smile to his face. He slipped in beside her.

She looked up and her dimples made their appearance. Her smile was different. Warm. Inviting, even. Yet shy at the same time.

Leah turned her face toward the front and continued singing in a low, sweet tone. Jake wished she’d sing louder. She had a beautiful voice. One that kissed the soul of a man.

Minutes later, the worship ended, and Pastor James said, “Please be seated, folks.” Everyone did. “If you have your Bibles, please open them to Matthew 6:33.”

Pages rustled as Jake and several other folks searched for the scripture.

Pastor James glanced down at the makeshift podium. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” He raised his head and leaned his arm on the podium. “Is He first in your life and are you second? Or are you first and He’s second?”

Pastor walked around to the front of the podium. “Let me tell you, folks. When we put God first in every area of life and read the Word daily and pray over every situation and decision, our lives will be blessed. I challenge you today to ask yourselves if there is something you’re holding on to—an area in your life where you haven’t put Him first. Perhaps it’s money. Or your time. Or a relationship.”

Jake glanced at Leah. Had he put God first in that area?

Pastor James continued, but Jake didn’t hear what he was saying. He was busy repenting for putting himself first and God second. As hard as it was, Jake prayed for God’s will and not his concerning Leah. He would accept God’s answer because he no longer wanted to be first in his life. From now on, he was second.

Leah leaned close to him and whispered, “So, did you really cancel the ad?”

Huh? Why was she asking him about that now? He nodded.

“Why?”

“’Cause my heart just wasn’t in it anymore.”

“How come?”

Tell her the truth.
That still small voice spoke to Jake’s spirit.

“’Cause I’ve fallen in love with someone.” Now was not the time to tell her with whom. He’d tell her later.

“Please stand, folks,” Pastor James said.

Church ended with a song, then everyone scattered to their wagons. Men handed baskets of food down to their womenfolk. Jake jumped in and helped move the tables and benches.

Fitzwilliam stood at the edge of the crowd, watching, the only man not helping.

Jake shook his head, then turned and hoisted another bench.

“I say, stop that. Get away from me.”

Jake swung around with the bench still in his hands.

Meanie had the tail of Barrington’s suit in her mouth, and she was yanking him to and fro as he fought to disengage her.

For once, Jake could just kiss that old goat. That wasn’t very charitable, but he couldn’t help enjoying the scene just a little.

Fitzwilliam managed to swat the goat on the nose, which seemed to have the intended reaction of her letting go. “Stupid animal.” Fitzwilliam tsked as he examined his attire.

Meanie backed up and dropped her head.

Uh-oh.

Meanie lunged toward the man and rammed her head into Fitzwilliam’s backside, sending him flying forward. He landed on his hands and knees, and his top hat bounced on the hard ground, rolling a few feet in front of him.

“Why you!” He jumped up just as the goat headed for him again.

Kitty stood in the background with her ears flapping and her nose jerking high in the air as if she were cheering Meanie on, as if saying “Hit him, hit him again.”