Guardian Girl (The Chronicles of Staffordshire) (11 page)

“NOOOOO! NO NO NO NO NO! NOOOOO!”

Lena’s stomach churned. All she wanted to do was give Lenore some unconditional love. She didn’t want to seduce the poor girl!

Yet even from across the room…

Lena
felt
Lenore. She felt unquenchable passion growing for the lonely beauty looking back at her.

“Lenore… Oh my God… I think… I… I feel like…”

Lenore’s eyes pleaded with Lena, begging her to embrace the inevitability of a shared love. She prayed in desperation she had not made herself vulnerable to no good end.

“Oh shit! I can’t believe this is happening, Lenore!” Lena shot upright in her bed and crossed her legs. She clapped her hands to her mouth and rocked back and forth. “SHIT, Lenore! What’s happening here? I mean… REALLY, Lenore! What the hell is happening to us?”

Looking down at her body, Lena felt a warming flood race throughout her chest and limbs. “Am I…? Holy shit! Am I…?”

A hopeful smile filled Lenore’s face. She nodded.

Pointing her finger at the supermodel, Lena shouted. “GOD DAMN YOU, LENORE DE LA FUENTE!”

Lena sprang from her bed, bounded across the room, and landed spread-eagle on Lenore, blanketing the roommate with her body. She shoved her arms around Lenore’s shoulders and hugged her from the back.

“Holy shit! Holy shit! What did you just do to me? Did you just… Did you seduce me, you freaky supermodel? Is that what you just did?” Lena laughed and wrestled atop Lenore, who lay giggling beneath. They rolled back and forth, laughing and hugging for a time.

As their play settled, Lenore rolled over and the girls laid on their sides. They instinctively snuggled close, pressing knee to knee but no closer. Lena unconsciously laid her hand against Lenore’s thigh and rubbed. Lenore consciously draped her arm around Lena’s shoulder and massaged the nape of Lena’s neck. They lay there, staring into each other’s eyes, neither one wanting to make the next move.

Lenore didn’t want to move too fast, fearing scaring off the tennis pro.

Lena didn’t want to move at all, fearing becoming yet another female tennis pro branded with the “L” word.

But their lips were desperate for the kiss of a lover, just one person in the world who would never leave them, never betray them, and always protect their heart. Secret, anguished loneliness crushed down on the girls day in and day out and neither want to wear a false smile for another second.

Lenore made a tentative overture. “Lena Sardi… Please… Kiss me.”

“Are you sure Lenore? I mean, are you
really
sure about this?”

“Lena... My beautiful, amazing Wild Child... Please… Kiss me.”

“God, Lenore… This feels so… So wrong…”

“Please, Lena. Just one kiss. That is all. Just one kiss.”

At Lenore’s urging, Lena cautiously pressed her trembling lips to Lenore’s. Lenore’s lips pressed back, tenderly, uncertain. The softness of Lena’s lips soothed Lenore’s heart. Heat welled up in Lena’s breasts. She felt her nipples tingle. They parted. Lena stared in amazement at Lenore. Lenore laid her head back on the pillow, closed her eyes, and sighed.

“Hoh-ly shit!” Lena whispered.

Lenore smiled and whispered in reply. “Hoh-ly shit indeed.”

“What just happened here, Lenore? What did we just do? Did we really do that? Am I crazy or did we really just do that?”

Lifting her head, Lenore stared at Lena for a second and then kissed her with fire. Lena stared back through the flames, eyes wide with arousal. Shoving Lenore back, Lena established clear roles in their relationship.

“Now WAIT a minute, sister!
You’re
not the bad girl here, I AM!”

Lena slammed her lips into Lenore, slipping her tongue into Lenore’s mouth. Lenore gasped, then giggled, and returned the favor, sucking gently on Lena’s tongue as their flesh danced.

In mid-suck, Lena felt a ghostly slap to the side of her head and heard a wee, small whisper.

“Uhhh… Hey… Dipshit… You’re kissing your roommate. And in case ya hadn’t noticed, shit-fer-brains, your roommate is a FRIGGING GIRL!”

Lena’s eyes flew open, staring in horror at Lenore’s closed eyelids.

“OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! SHIT! What the Hell are we doing? I’M KISSING MY ROOMMATE! I’M KISSING LENORE!”

Lena bolted from Lenore's bed and scrambled to her side of the room, tripping and stumbling all the way. She threw her hands up as a shield in front of her kissable face.

"WAIT! WAIT! Lenore, something… Shit! Something is going on here! We better slow down and think about this! I mean, we’re girls! And we're roommates for Christ's sake! We can't do this! We
shouldn’t
do this! I mean… We have to live together! What if we screw this up and wind up hating each other? What do we do then? How do we get through the rest of the year? And what if someone finds out that we just kissed each other? We’re frigging girls! OUR LIVES ARE OVER!”

"LENA!”

"WHAT?!"

“SHUT — UP!!!”

Lenore’s outburst stopped Lena cold.

“But Lenore…!”

Lenore raised her hand, confidence building in her voice. "Lena! Stop! Be quiet! Just be quiet and listen. All we did was kiss! We did nothing more. And… Speaking only for myself…” Lenore drew a long, slow, cleansing breath and exhaled, holding Lena’s eyes throughout. “…What just happened was
wonderful!
"

"But, Lenore! We can’t do this! This isn’t… It isn’t right!”

Lenore found her footing with each new step on a long-overdue journey of self discovery. Lenore’s brokenness unexpectedly made sense. It took another gifted girl to untie the transit-damaged package of Lenore’s life, extract a fractured, jumbled mess, and reassemble the pieces as a living work of art. A soothing, peaceful note resonated in the supermodel’s words.

"Lena… Calm down. Relax. I am just sitting here on my bed. You are sitting on your bed. We are not touching each other. It is over. We are just talking."

“Just talking? Just frigging talking? I just made out with the most beautiful girl in the whole frigging world! And I liked it!”

"Look, Lenore… I… I just said, 'I love you'. I mean… I can't take that back! It's out there. It's in the open. I feel REALLY weird right now! This is really… Weird, Lenore. Really, really weird…" Lena wrestled with herself, wrapping her arms tightly against her chest, rocking back and forth on her bed.

"Lena, I do not want you to take back what you said. I am not taking back what I said. I never will. I cannot. I am… I am in love with you.”

"But we
can't
be in love, Lenore! We're
girls
, for Christ’s sake! We’re not a girl and a boy! We’re two frigging
girls!
”

"Lena… Slow down! Breathe! I am not trying to have sex with you. I think I still want a man someday."

“She THINKS she still wants a man someday! SHIT!”

Lenore paused. Such vulnerability came along once in a lifetime and then only with great risk. If Lena was “The One,” she deserved to know the truth. “I must tell you something, Lena. Please do not laugh when I tell you this. It is… Embarrassing.” Struggling with her admission, Lenore stared into her lap. “Lena… I am… I am still a virgin. I have never dated a boy. I know what I felt when we kissed, but… I… I do not know what it means."

Lena exhaled with a huff.
“Well, Sardi… If the most famous girl in the world can do it…”

"Look… Lenore… God… I can’t believe I’m about to say this… But… I’m not what you think, either.”

"I do not understand. What do you think I think, Lena?"

Lena cracked her knuckles.
"Well, Lenore, here we go. I'm still a virgin, too. I only ever really kissed a boy once, and that was at a wedding reception after he caught the garter. He was 13 and he tried to French me. Horny little bastard."

Lenore laughed, Lena's intent. "But Lena… I thought…"

"What? Because I don't wear a bra? Sis, I just can't stand the way they feel. I hate 'em. The only time I wear a bra is when I'm on the court or working out. When you have a double-dutch chest bras get uncomfortable after a while. I mean… I know my boobs’ll be hitting the floor by the time I’m 40…”

Lenore giggled at the image.

“Once I stopped wearing bras, people just assumed I was sleeping around. Boys either tried to bed me or they were so afraid of me they left me alone. And if they tried to bed me I just hit 'em with my racket.”

The image of Lena whacking a young man’s genitals with a mid-oversized racket gave Lenore another giggle.

“Lenore… Look… I’m so sorry… I never wanted to lead you on or anything. And I really… God, I can’t believe I’m saying this… I really do… I mean… I feel like I love you. I mean… I feel like I’m
in
love with you. You’re like the only girl in the world who I… Who knows that about me. And I really don’t want sex before I get married. And I
really
didn’t want to have sex with…
With my female roommate
, for Christ’s sake!”

“But Lena… We were not having sex. We were just kissing…”

“But kissing is bad enough, Lenore! Kissing always leads to… You know… To sex!”

Scanning Lenore, Lena figured it was time to share her dream, the kind of dream little girls are told to dream, of fairy tale kingdoms and a handsome Prince riding in on a gleaming, white horse to save their beautiful Princesses from a life of spinsterhood.

“Look… Lenore… I have this dream. And it’s a pretty boring dream, actually. I just want a man someday. Just one man. For life. I want to meet a man who’s going to love me for me and not for my money and not for my fame and not for my body.”

Lena tapped her chin pensively. “Well… Actually, I wouldn’t mind it too much if he really liked my body.”

Lena’s joy for life and easy humor fanned Lenore’s love. Every time Lena wise-cracked Lenore fell deeper under her spell. Lenore could tell Lena was afraid. Her hands were shaking in her lap. It was Lenore’s turn to help Lena avoid a world class freak out.

"Lena, I cannot lie to you. I
really
enjoyed kissing you…” Lenore smiled a,
“Please, I hope you enjoyed it, too,”
smile. “…I also meant it when I said that I love you. I really love you, Lena. I… I am
in
love with you.”

Lenore saw hints of a breakdown gathering on Lena’s face and pressed onward, struggling to find exactly the right words, words to put flesh around the girls’ newly-forming, blended soul.

“Lena… I… I feel like I love you more than life itself. There is something about you that makes me feel safe and loved in a way I have never felt. When I look at you… When I look at you I feel your strong heart wrapping up my weak heart… I feel… safe. I feel wanted.”

Lena’s hands shook, tears welled.

"When you speak to me, Lena, you do not speak to me like you are
just
a friend. You speak to me like you feel what I feel. You speak to me like a person who understands the pain of being alone in the midst of so many friends. So, yes, Lena Sardi. I love you. Right here, right now, and for the rest of my life… I choose to love you more than life itself. Please do not fear loving me. I do not fear loving you. I pray you will cherish the way I feel about you.”

Torrential confusion rained down upon Lena’s heart. She could not deny that what she felt for Lenore was more than just friendship between roommates. She could not deny that looking at Lenore, thinking about the inseparable bond they birthed in so few months together, made her come alive with feelings she had denied herself for years.

Lena sat silently, measuring Lenore’s eyes, assessing the swirling joy and terror she felt just being in the presence of the girl who spoke without a filter and meant what she said with each word. Was it… Love? Or was it just two under-sexed, over-horny girls locked up in an all-girls dorm with no boys to pop their virgin cherries?

Turning inward, Lena retreated to the icy-cold place where watching each twitch on an opponent's face meant the difference between a baseline shift or rushing the net. "Look… Can we talk about this a little bit, Lenore? I mean, before we start planning a wedding date and all, can we talk about this a little bit?"

Lenore laughed loudly at Lena's quip. "Yes, Lena! Whatever you want! And I do not want to marry you!”

"Well, that’s a load off my mind. But what do you mean when you say, 'I love you'? If it doesn’t mean… You know… Marriage - which is kinda illegal in this state anyway - then what
does
that mean to you?”

"Well, I suppose it means that… The way I feel at this moment… I never want to be apart from you. I feel like I am more complete with you than without you, I feel like you understand me in a way nobody else does. It means that when I am around you I feel something special that nobody else makes me feel."