Guardian Girl (The Chronicles of Staffordshire) (12 page)

Lenore stopped, shot her eyes heavenward, closed them, and finished her thought. "I think it means that I would give my life for your happiness."

Lena cried. Lenore assaulted her with a barrage of honesty. Years of solitary confinement melted away in the voice and words of her roommate, a girl who just a few months earlier was nothing more than a smiling face on a poster or magazine cover. Watching Lenore through her tears, wiping them as quickly as they came, Lena flashed back to the tingling sensation she felt when Lenore first kissed her.

"Lenore, I need to know. This is really important to me. Do you really want to find a man and get married some day?"

"Of course I do! In case you had not noticed, Lena, I do have a vagina. I would very much like to fill it with a man and his child someday.”

“Uh… Lenore De La Fuente… Did you just say, ‘Vagina’?”

For a second, Lenore sucked in on her lips in embarrassment. The girls burst, howling at the ultra-dignified model’s use of the “V” word. Calming, Lenore continued her answer through giggles and sniffs.

"Lena, saying ‘I love you…’ That does not mean that I think we are supposed to live together forever. It just means that I absolutely know, without a doubt, that right here, right now… Forever more… ‘I love you’.”

“Uhhh… Lenore… That word ‘forever’ kind of sounds like ‘forever’.”

Lenore flamenco danced around the question long enough. "What I mean, Lena, is that when you kissed me it felt right, and beautiful, and natural. I want to do it again, and again, and again for as long as we are together. I do not think I want to have sex with you, but I certainly would not mind making out with you again. It was… FUN!"

Lena could not wrap her pea brain around everything Lenore shared. It felt contradictory and confirming and caring and…

"That
was
a pretty hot kiss, wasn't it…?”

"Lena, if you reached under my dress you would have felt how hot."

It was Lena’s turn to laugh. "So, Lenore… Where do we go from here? Are we really, really in love? And if we are… Does that make us lesbians? And if we’re lesbians, are we ever going to get married? Or are we just having fun until we find men and figure out we’re not really lesbians? And what
happens to the other one of us
if one of us falls in love with a man? I’m totally confused. I’m just… Totally confused, Lenore.”

Lenore patted the bed next to her. "Come here, Lena. Do not be afraid of me. Do not be afraid of yourself. Come and sit with me."

With less exuberance than her usual hop from bed to bed, Lena stood and cautiously tiptoed to Lenore's bed. As Lena sat, Lenore kept her hands folded in her lap. They sat silently, looking straight ahead at the wall over Lena’s bed for several minutes, fearing looking into each other’s eyes.

Lena looked to Shawn Cassidy’s poster for advice. He just stared at her with that doughy come-hither smile of his. No help at all.

"Lenore… May I… Can I kiss you again."

Lenore turned toward Lena, nodded, and closed her eyes.

Lena brought her lips to Lenore's, pressing them together lightly. Lena felt heat welling again inside her chest and face. They could each feel the other’s cheeks blushing. The girls lingered inside a paper-thin kiss, no explosive passion or tongue, just a delicate kiss.

As they parted, Lena licked her lips. "Okay… I definitely don't know what to do with
that
feeling, Lenore.”

Lenore’s eyes remained closed, basking in the afterglow of Lena's awakening love. "I know
exactly
what to do with that feeling, roomie."

Lenore pressed her lips confidently to Lena's and returned the kiss, actively filling Lena's mouth with her tongue. Lena gasped, her heart pounding at Lenore's penetration of her virgin body. She felt her pulse race and felt Lenore's heart pounding as their chests pressed together. Lenore’s nipples stiffened, pushing through the thin fabric of her bra. Lena shivered. A trickle escaped her vulva, dampening her panties.

After several minutes of gentle kissing, Lenore pulled back and smiled. Lena's eyes remained closed, her mind floating atop Lenore's lighter-than-air love. An impassioned blush lit Lena’s dimpled cheeks.

Lena opened her eyes. The roommates scanned each other’s face, considering the myriad, possible scenarios under which everything could come crashing down around them. They stayed locked on each other's eyes, trying to read the writing on the walls of their roommate’s soul. Was it really, "love," or was it little more than just pent up "lust" awaiting its first chance mess up two tightly-regulated lives?

"Lenore?"

"Yes, Lena?"

A barely audible whisper escaped Lena’s lips. “Oh my God… I
really
liked that."

"Yes, dear, so did I."

"Lenore?"

"Yes, my beautiful Wild Child?"

The athlete’s lips quivered. She fought the urge to cry. “Lenore De La Fuente… Did you just give me…
A nickname?
”

Smiling sweetly, Lenore thought for a second and affirmed her transformation. “Yes, my amazing, beautiful Wild Child. I think I just did.”

Lenore waited patiently as Lena’s lips formed words that never left her mouth. When The Wild Child spoke, conflict was woven with her words. "Lenore… Do you really think it's possible for us to… To get through four years just kissing and not going to… Well… Not going to the next level? Do you think we can just make out here in our dorm room and still save ourselves for… You know… For boyfriends or husbands?”

Lenore pondered the question in silence, leaving Lena dangling nervously for an agonizing 64.5 seconds. "Wild Child, you and I will never be apart for the rest of our lives. Whoever our future husbands are they must simply accept that their wives will be a very close pair of women."

"Care to elaborate, Lenore? Do you see something I don't see?"

Lenore closed her eyes, allowing her mind to wander through dreams and wondrous places beyond the glamour of modeling and pro tennis and Paulson College. She drew a deep breath and let heavenly visions guide her story.

"We will follow identical tracks through college. We will room together all four years, perhaps three if we fast track our studies. Then we will go to the same law school, probably Harvard. We will graduate in the top three or four of our class. We will live within a few hours of each other so we can lift each other up when our lives become difficult. We will work in the same city, probably right here in New York. One day we will leave our firms, join forces, and open our own practice."

Lenore paused, opened her eyes, and smiled at Lena. "One of us will get married… To a wonderful man she will love with all the love a woman can offer. Then the other of us will get married and it will be like something out of a storybook. We will be at each other's houses all the time, with dozens of children running throughout our homes.”

Lenore pressed the knuckles of her left hand to her mouth, letting slip an embarrassed giggle as she delivered her epilogue.

"And we will make out when nobody is looking! And we will compare naughty notes about how we make love to our husbands. Our children will be like cousins and our families will grow old together. And… And if one of us becomes sick, the other will be at her bedside, holding hands with her and lifting her through her struggle.”

By the time Lenore completed her monologue, Lena's eyes were pancake-sized, her jaw gaping and slack, her eyes streaming with tears.

"Oh… Is
that
all?" Lena asked.

"Well, I could go on, but it might overwhelm you… my beautiful, amazing Wild Child." Lenore grinned. Lena giggled nervously.

It was a wondrous, captivating dream, overflowing in Lena’s heart, whetting her craving for the soul of a lover. It was fantasy, utterly impossible in a world where such dreams seemed unattainable for straight couples, let alone two thrown-together-by-fate girls.

"Lenore, I just need you to promise me something."

Lenore reached her arm around Lena and pulled her close. Lena rested her head on Lenore's shoulder.

“Ask me anything, Wild Child.”

"Promise me that all we’ll do is make out. Please. I really want to save myself for a husband, Lenore. I love you, but… But… I… I really want a husband, Lenore. Please. I want a husband someday.”

"I promise you, Lena, I will not use my ‘freaky supermodel looks’ to make you do anything you do not want to do. Beyond that, I cannot promise you that my freaky supermodel looks will not seduce you anyway." Lenore winked.

Lena stifled an enormous yawn. “You know what, Lenore… I’m exhausted… And I feel a little… Weird. A little… I don’t know… Lonely. But
not
lonely. It feels so good in your arms, but… I feel really confused. Would you mind if I just laid down here with you and cuddled for a while before I went back to my bed?”

“Why not sleep here tonight, Wild Child?”

Lena measured Lenore’s virtue, considering the possibility that Lenore perhaps wanted more out of their relationship than Lena could offer.

“No making out?”

“No. Not if you don’t want to. I just want to hold you, Lena. I just want to… To protect you. To feel you next to me.”

“Well… Maybe just for a little while.”

Lena got up and prepared the room, turning off the lights. Lenore laid on her back, sliding toward the wall, inviting her roommate to snuggle closely. Lena returned to the bed, wriggling and scooching, settling in, her head nestling against Lenore’s shoulder, her lips pressing against Lenore’s cheek in a kiss. The Wild Child’s cleavage split across Lenore’s torso as one arm draped across her roommate’s body. A powerful, bare, left leg wrapped around the model, giving Lenore a small, satisfying resolution to the lust she felt when she scanned Lena’s body during the staring game.

Pulling the band from Lena’s hair, Lenore let her roommate’s mane fall free. Lenore stroked Lena’s hair with her free hand and kissed Lena’s forehead, whispering, “I love you, Lena… I love you so much…”, sending her the roommate off to sleep with a contented smile on her face.

Lenore adored Lena as the Paulson sister slumbered. Feeling sleepiness press at her eyelids, Lenore pulled the covers around their shoulders and switched off the light above her bed.

For the first time since arriving at Paulson, the model student felt herself ready to drift away at bedtime. No tears in the night. No fears of what she would encounter in the morning. No worries about disappointing her father, her mother, or her public. Only the pervasive peace that binds two people for whom unexpected love instantly becomes eternal.

Lena’s presence in Lenore’s bed felt “right.”

“I think we can make this a…”
Lenore yawned.

“I think… a bedti…”
Another yawn.

“…I could… be… comfort… ta….”

Eight

November 15, 1980

Dear Diary,

I kissed Lena last night! I am in LOVE with Lena Sardi and Lena is in LOVE with me! After we kissed we fell asleep in each other’s arms and spent the WHOLE night together in my bed.

I am so excited! When Lena kissed me I immediately understood how real love feels! It is not just that tinging sensation I felt before. It is so much more. When Lena kisses me and holds me she makes my whole body feel warm and at peace, as if I am finally made complete in her arms.

Of course we cannot tell anyone about this. It would cause an international incident if we did! This world is not ready for two famous girls to stand on a stage and pronounce their love for one another. But here, inside our room, the feeling of finally having a girlfriend I can rely upon and talk with, having someone with whom I can safely share my secrets, is indescribable!

Lena made me so excited when we kissed last night! I wanted to rub my hands all over her body. She doesn’t want that kind of relationship, though, so I stopped myself before I touched her in places I knew she did not want me to touch.

I promised Lena I will not seduce her, but that could be a difficult promise to keep. Lena is so beautiful and tempting! I love sitting in our room and peeking at her as I study! Her eyes are so exotic and they call to me! When she takes her hair down, it is so soft and thick. When she looks at me I feel her whole body dive into my heart! When I look at her legs…

Oh my! I must stop thinking about her legs! Every time I think of Lena’s legs I imagine her wrapping them around my waist!

I must live up to my promise! I must protect Lena from my selfish heart and my evil desire to seduce her. I must hold myself back until we graduate from Paulson. I promised Lena I would not seduce her, so I must fulfill that promise. It could be difficult. My body often feels as if it is not fully under my control.

I pray I will one day feel the same about a boyfriend or husband as I feel today about Lena. The way I feel about Lena might make it very, very hard for any man to win my love. I could easily spend the rest of my life with my beautiful Wild Child.