Guardian of Eden (26 page)

“Is it Eden?” she asked.

“It’s everything.”

“Do you want to go upstairs and talk?”

“Yeah, if you’re not busy or anything.”

Maddie
let go of me and gave Roscoe a look. He nodded then went back out the door he led me through.

“He’ll cover for us,” she said grabbing my hand and leading me up the stairs.

 “My dad…got me…a room…so I…ready for…ball,”
Maddie
panted when we entered her hotel suite after climbing five flights of stairs.

“
Shhh
.
I understand. Just sit down and breathe.”I helped her to the couch then went to get her a glass of water. “We should’ve taken the elevator,” I said when I returned and sat next to her.

Maddie
shook her head.
“Elevator…cameras…my dad.”

“I get it.” Once again it came down to her reluctance to accept me into her life. “Maybe I should go,” I said, standing.

“No don’t!” She grabbed my hand and entwined her fingers in mine. “We have like…an hour before…he realizes I’m gone. Let’s talk.”

I looked into her big blue eyes and felt the calm and assurance that I’d been searching for. Looking at her now, somehow it seemed everything was going to be alright.

“My mom started drinking again last week,” I admitted sitting back down.

“I know. Eden told me.”

“Corbin’s been sleeping at the studio. He says he can’t handle it. Eden is acting out in school and failing every class. My mother has completely gone off the deep end. If she’s not screaming at us for
no
reason at all, she's passed out on the floor or bawling her eyes out.”
Maddie
put her arm around me and rested her head on my shoulder. She smelled so good.

“It’s like nothing’s changed. I’m back to making sure Eden eats and gets to school and checking my mother’s pulse in the middle of the night to make sure she isn’t dead.”

“I’m sorry, Garrett.”

“I haven’t slept in days. I don’t even know why I’m here. I just feel like my life is falling apart and the last time I felt happy, the last time I felt free, I was with you. I want that again. I want you.”

“Garrett, I-”

“You look beautiful, by the way.” I interrupted her and changed the subject afraid of what she might say. I lifted her head and took a good look at her for the first time. I wasn’t exaggerating. She was the most beautiful I’d ever seen her. She had her hair in some sort of
updo
with a few loose curls framing her face and she wore a red strapless ball gown. Well, Eden probably would have said it was burgundy or cherry or wine or something, but it looked red to me.

I brushed a curl out of her face then caressed her cheek with my thumb.

She grabbed my hand and gently pushed it away. “Garrett, I can’t do this again. It hurts too much every time you walk out.”

“Then don’t let me walk out. Be with me,
Maddie
. I love you, okay. I love you, I need you,
I
want you. I can’t exist without you.” I felt pathetic, like I was begging her to save my life. In a way I was. At that moment, she was the only one who could save me.

Before she could respond I brought her lips to mine and kissed her deeply. At first she hesitated and tried to pull away, but I persisted. Finally, she relented and wrapped her arms around my neck. She placed her fingers in my hair and returned my kiss with intensity.

The passion between us grew quickly as we both searched to fill the void in our lives that had developed in the past month by not seeing each other.
Maddie
moaned as she unbuttoned my jeans making sure her lips didn’t leave mine for too long. I felt around on the back of the dress for some sort of zipper or clasp, but couldn’t find it.

 “I’ll do it,” she said standing. She undid the side zipper, stepped out of the dress then joined me back on the couch. We kissed with rapacious fervor as we continued to disrobe until we were both naked and breathing heavily burning with anticipation.

 We made love quickly and passionately releasing the tension and anxiety of our lives into each other. It was animal, primal, yet completely fulfilling. It was a breathtaking physical expression of love that solidified the fact that we belonged together, we belonged to each other. Afterward, we clung to each other like we were afraid to let go.

 Comfortably nestled on her warm bare stomach, I started to doze off. For the first time in a week I felt like I might be able to sleep peacefully. “I love you so much, Garrett. Please don’t ever doubt that.” I heard her whisper. Then she kissed the top of my head and slid out from under me. “I have to go,” she said as she started to get dressed.

 “Don’t go. Stay with me just a little while longer.” I reached my hand out for her.

“I can’t Garrett. My dad’s giving a speech in like 20 minutes and I need to be there. This is a huge fundraiser for him. If I’m not there, he’ll know something’s wrong and he’ll come looking for me.”

 “Fine, I get it. I’ll go.” I angrily hopped off the couch and found my boxer shorts.

“You can stay for a while if you want. I just really need to get downstairs before I’m missed. Stay, okay? Just stay and…and I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“What good will
that do
, huh? You’ll just make me leave as soon as your father comes within 50 feet of me. I feel stupid for even coming here tonight.” Things were never going to change between us. No matter how much she said she loved me I would never be good enough for her. I would never be able to be with her the way I wanted to be.

Maddie
watched quietly as I got dressed. I refused to look at her. I didn’t want her to see how much I was hurting. “What do you want from me, Garrett? What the hell did you expect?” Her voice was a plea singed with frustration and anger.

“I want you to be there for me. I want you to support me. That’s what I expect from someone who claims to love me.”

“Why is it always about you, Garrett? What about me? You think you have the market cornered on suffering? At least you have parents who love you. My mother is dead and my father cares more about what I wear to an interview than how I feel.”
Maddie
yelled as her shaking hands tried to pin her tousled hair back up.

 “I have a stalker, Garrett. Did you know that? Did you even care to ask how my life was going? There’s a creepy 30-year-old man that I’ve never met professing his love for me and begging to marry me. I’m not allowed to go to school, I can’t go to a movie with friends, I can’t even go to the bathroom without Roscoe going in first and making sure it’s all clear.” 

 I thought about what she said. Of course, she was right. I had only been concerned with my own needs. I didn’t even ask about her heart condition or how her health was. I had been completely selfish.

Maddie
went into the other room and quickly touched up her make-up in front of a mirror. Then she came back and slipped on her shoes as she said, “I’m sorry for everything you’re going through right now, okay? I really am. But I’m going through stuff, too. And I’m sorry I can’t be everything you need me to be when you need it.”
Maddie
fought back tears as she glared at me from across the hotel suite.

 “So, what do we do? Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know.”
Maddie
took a tissue from her purse and dabbed her eyes trying to preserve her make-up. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then she approached me and held me with her eyes. She kissed her fingertips then placed them on my lips. “I
gotta
get downstairs.”Then she grabbed her purse and left me.
Alone.

I paced the hotel room contemplating sticking around. I wanted to apologize for not taking her feelings into consideration. I wanted to make her feel better and get her through the trying times in her life. And more than anything, I wanted to make love to her again. But I didn’t want to feel like some kind of lap dog who stayed when she commanded it. My pride wouldn’t let me. Even if I wanted to stay, I couldn’t. Eden spent Christmas Eve with a classmate and I had to go pick her up before it got too late.

 We weren’t big on holiday traditions in my family so Eden spending Christmas Eve out of the house was not only okay with me and Holly, it was welcome. I thought Eden should have a chance for a happy Christmas Eve.

 Eden had spent the evening with the Kobayashi family.
A family with a Japanese father and a black mother.
The mixture had produced four gorgeous children including 12-year-old
Tracee
, Eden’s best friend at school.

 “Eden can spend the night if she wants,” Mrs. Kobayashi said when I entered their home. “She can borrow some clothes from
Tracee
. We really don’t mind. We even have gifts for her already under the tree.” 

I looked over at Eden and
Tracee
staring at me with big hopeful eyes. They each wanted me to say yes. My heart ached. I wanted Eden to have a happy Christmas, but I also didn’t want to give the impression that something was wrong at our home. Apparently, Eden had already given that impression or Mrs. Kobayashi wouldn’t be asking in the first place.

 “We appreciate the offer, Mrs. Kobayashi, but we need to get home. Our mother is expecting us and…we, um, always decorate the tree together on Christmas Eve,” I lied.

 “We don’t even have a tree!” Eden blurted. 

“Eden!” I snapped and admonished her with my eyes. Eden huffed then rolled her eyes. She gave
Tracee
a hug, then grabbed her coat and stomped toward the door. 

“Thank you for having Eden over. Maybe we’ll have
Tracee
over soon as well.”Mrs. Kobayashi gave a fake smile and a slight nod of the head. I could tell she knew that would never happen. I could tell she knew too much.

 “What did you tell them?” I asked Eden through clenched teeth as we walked to the bus stop.

 “I told them the truth. That my mother is an alcoholic who doesn’t love me.”

 “That’s not true, Eden and you know it. Mom loves you. She’s just sick right now. But she’ll get better soon.”

 “Whatever. Even when she’s well, she doesn’t love me as much as she loves you.” 

“What are you talking about?”

 “Do you know how many times mom has raised her hand to me and you’ve been there to stop her? I can’t even count. Well, think about it Garrett, has she ever once tried to hit you?”

 I did think about it. Could Eden be right? Eden usually did get the brunt of our mother’s anger.

 “Eden, that doesn’t mean-”