Guardian of Eden (30 page)

“Will you tell me what’s wrong with my sister, please?” Dr. Shepherd and Rowena Smith exchanged a look, a look of foreboding that instantly made my heart race. 

“You might want to sit down, son,” the overweight black lady said as she put her hand on my shoulder.” 

“I don’t want to sit down. I want to know what’s wrong with her.” 

Dr. Shepherd sighed and said, “Your sister had a miscarriage.”I stared at him blankly trying to make sense of what he was saying. 

“I’m
sorry,
you must be looking at the wrong chart. My sister is only 12. She…she just turned 12. Yesterday was her birthday.” 

“It’s not a mistake, Garrett. We’ve already performed the D&C. The fetus was about 6 weeks old.” My knees gave out and I had to grab a chair for balance. The doctor kept talking, but I really couldn’t hear anything else. 

“She just turned 12. We haven’t even celebrated her birthday yet. She’s just a child, a baby. Who did this? Who could do that to a child?”My mind was in a haze. I felt like I repeated myself over and over again. 

“We need your help to figure that out,” Rowena said. “Because of her age, the police have to get involved. A detective will be here in the morning. Do you know anything?
Something that will help the police?”
 

I shook my head. I knew nothing. What kind of brother was I to let something like this happen? I should’ve been paying more attention to her. This was my fault and I was going to fix it.

 ***

I went back in to the hospital room. There was an empty bed next to Eden’s that
Maddie
had dozed off on.

 “What’s wrong, Garrett?”She asked when she noted the look on my face. I couldn’t respond. I think I shook my head or shrugged my shoulders as I silently crawled beside
Maddie
. She didn’t press me with further questions. She was content to fall asleep in my arms. I watched them both sleep, the two most important people in my life. I thought about what had happened to my sister and what I was going to do about it. I knew what I needed to do.

Eden began to stir around five o’clock in the morning. I asked
Maddie
to leave the room for a few minutes so we could talk alone. Eden cried for me and I took her hand.

 “Eden, I know something bad happened to you,” I said as I tucked her hair behind her ear. “I know I let you down.” 

“Gary, don’t cry. It’s not your fault.” She reached up and wiped a tear from my face.

 “Tell me what happened. Tell me who hurt you.” 

“I can’t, Gary. You’ll hate me.”

 I crawled into bed with her again and held her in my arms. “I could never hate you. I love you more than anything in the world.” 

“Do you love me more than
Maddie
?”

 “I love her differently than I love you, but yes, if I had to choose between you and
Maddie
, I’d choose you.”

 Eden sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Do you love me more than Mommy?”

 “Yes, Bug, I do.”

 “That’s what
he
said, too. But it was a lie. Everything was a lie.”

 “Who is he, Eden? Who told you this?” 

“He told me he loved me more than mommy and that when people love each other that they’re supposed to have sex. He said that’s what you do with
Maddie
.”

 I felt like a boulder of guilt had been dropped on my chest and knocked the wind out of me. I couldn’t breathe.

“It hurt so bad the first time, Gary. I thought I was being torn in two. But it got better after that and he wasn’t as rough when I didn’t fight back and it didn’t hurt as bad. I started to accept it. I just lay there and pretended I was somewhere else until he finished. I couldn’t tell you, Gary. He said it was our special secret. He said I was special.”

Tears threatened to stream down my face as she spoke, but I held them back. I had to remain strong for my sister. 

“One day, I went to his office expecting to have to do it again and he said we weren’t going to do it anymore. He said we had to stop. I guess he didn’t love me anymore.” 

I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed in slowly trying to gain control over my emotions. I think I already knew the culprit, but I had to hear it from her. “Eden, please tell me who did this.”

 “It was Corbin,” she whispered before bursting into tears again. I held her tightly and let her cry on my chest. “Am I a whore, Gary?” she asked when her tears subsided.

 “No, Eden. It wasn’t your fault. You’re not a whore.”

 “Mommy thinks I am.”

 “She was drunk. She didn’t know what she was saying.”

 “No, Gary, she wasn’t drunk the first time I told her.”

I sat up and looked into her eyes. “You mean, you’ve already told mother? She knows?”

 Eden nodded vigorously. “The night she started drinking again, when you left to go for a walk I went to her room to talk to her. When you wouldn’t tell me what happened in Mommy’s past I started to think maybe the same thing happened to her. I thought she could help me. I thought she would know what to do. I told her what Corbin did to me and that I thought I was pregnant and she started yelling at me and calling me a whore. Then she threw a lamp at me but she missed. The next thing I knew, she had a bottle of alcohol in her hand and she kept yelling at me. So I went outside and waited for you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” 

“I didn’t want you to think I was a whore too. You’re the only person that loves me, Gary. I didn’t want you to hate me, too.” She started sobbing again.

A new anger arose in me. How could my mother do this to her own daughter? She would have to pay as well. But first I needed to take care of Corbin.

“I remember picking up the gun. I went home and took it out of Corbin’s desk. I remember loading it. I remember looking around his office. I know I found a spare set of keys to his studio taped under his desk. I don’t remember driving to his studio, but I remember knowing I wanted to kill him. I know that’s why I went there. I vaguely remember pointing the gun to his head. Then the next thing I know, I’m here. I don’t remember firing the gun, but I know I did. Oh, God, I killed someone.” I placed my head in my hands and started rocking back and forth in the hard wooden chair.

 “So, you’re still claiming you don’t remember the shooting? You’re still
gonna
play dumb?” The young black detective leaned back and folded his arms as he eyed me skeptically. I didn’t know his name. I wasn’t even sure if he was a detective. I just assumed so because he seemed like a cop even though he wasn’t wearing a uniform.

 Still? Why did he say 'still'? I felt like I had just woken from a coma. My head ached and my eyes burned. My mind floated in a dense fog of uncertainty. I didn’t know where I was or how I got there. I assumed I was under arrest for Corbin’s murder so I just tried to cooperate as much as possible. That proved harder than I thought.

 The detective kept staring at me waiting for me to elaborate or something. I didn’t know what else to say. I tried to jump start my memory by thinking of Eden,
Maddie
, and the hospital, but that just reminded me of what Corbin had done to my sister. Then the desire to kill him would arise again. I wish I could remember shooting him. I would love to see his face and the fear that no doubt consumed him, to see the bullet pierce his brain and end his life.

 “If you’re trying to protect your mother-”

 
“My mother?”
I interrupted him and looked up sharply. “What does my mother have to do with this?” The last thing I remember learning was that she’d known about Corbin abusing Eden and how she did nothing. She let her only daughter be raped and just traipsed off to North Carolina. The mention of her rekindled my urge to deal with her as well.
Perhaps just as cruelly as I had dealt with Corbin.
Or, at least as cruelly as I thought I dealt with Corbin. What the hell happened to me? Why couldn't I remember?

 The officer’s eyes grew wider, maybe out of shock, maybe out of confusion. I couldn’t tell. He bit his lip then tilted his head as he
pinched
his chin. The detective stood, adjusted his suit and began to pace the interrogation room.

 “So, you don’t remember that your mother was at the studio with you? The both of you were found with blood splatter on your clothing.”

 
"My mother?"
I shook my head. I had no idea what he was talking about. "Are you sure my mother was there? She couldn't have been there. She's in North Carolina."

 He stopped pacing. “Garrett, what day is it?” He placed his fists on the table and leaned toward me. He studied my face while waiting for an answer.

 I paused for a moment thinking this had to be some sort of trick question. Why would he be asking me something so simple? “Monday,” I said finally, “January eighth.”

 His eyes widened again. He straightened his posture then left the room. He failed to close the door completely and I overheard voices from the hallway.

 “
I don’t think he’s faking
,” I heard him say.

 “
I told you
that
two days ago. It’s like his ego has split and the person in that studio was not him
,” a female voice said. “
I think we should get psych down here to evaluate him again
.”

 “
But if he is diagnosed as crazy, we might not have a case against him or the mother. His confession is garbage.
”

 “
Maybe there shouldn’t be a case against him at all
.” The woman paused. “
Let me talk to him again
,” she said. A second later she entered the room. “Hi, Garrett, I’m Marcy. Do you remember me?” Marcy had long brown hair and a warm smile. She took the seat across from me then folded her hands on the table. I looked at her carefully and tried to think of where I might have seen her before, but nothing came to me. I shook my head. She nodded and continued, “I’m the officer that brought you down to the station and booked you on Monday.”

 
“Monday?
Isn't today Monday?” I asked. “Wait a minute. What's going on? What day is it?”