Guardian of Eden (33 page)

 After Bernice recounted all the steps I had taken in order to win custody of Eden, the judge sat silent as he read over some files.

 “For a 17-year-old boy suddenly thrust into adulthood, you’ve done a remarkable job.” He paused and breathed heavily. “I’m just not sure that placing a 12-year-old in your care is the best thing for either of you. You still have a lot of maturing to do. And Eden really needs the help of trained professionals. She hasn’t spoken in nearly eight months. I don’t want to make matters worse for both of you. I want to make sure you both have a chance to lead normal productive lives considering all you’ve been through.”

 “What about what
I
want?”

 Every head turned slowly in search of the tiny feminine voice that spoke those words. We were all shocked to realize they came from Eden. 

“What do
you
want, young lady?” the judge asked in a calm grandfatherly tone.

 “I want to live with my brother. Please let me live with my brother. He’s all I have.” Eden put her face in her hands and sobbed as I wrapped my arms around her.

 I saw Bernice wipe tears away and even noticed that the judge and Henry seemed affected. They each cleared their throats and adjusted their seating positions. 

After Eden’s emotional outburst, the judge reconsidered. He decided that living with me might be the best thing for her since we were obviously so attached to one another. 

Eden didn’t even want to go back to the foster home to collect her few belongings. She wanted to go straight the apartment, to her new home.
Maddie
greeted us with balloons, festive decorations, and a table full of Eden’s favorite foods. Then we sat together and ate dinner as a family.

Epilogue: A Mother’s Love

Five years later… 

 The same dream plagued me night after night. I saw blood, I heard screams,
I
even smelled a sickening odor that often sent me running to the bathroom in the middle of the night to vomit. The closer we got to my mother’s parole hearing the more intense the dreams became. 

“You okay, Babe?”
Maddie
knelt next to me in front of the toilet and rubbed my back. 

I nodded. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep. You have class in the morning.”

 “I’ll skip it if you need me.” She kissed the side of my head and brushed my hair out of my face.

 I shook my head and held back the urge to vomit as another image of Corbin’s bloodied corpse flashed in my mind. 

“I’m really worried about you, Garrett. Maybe we should take a vacation or something until after Holly’s parole hearing.” 

“I can’t take Eden out of school for a week. It’s her senior year. And I’m not going to leave her here alone when my mother might be getting out of prison in a few days.” 

“Okay, okay,” she kissed my cheek and continued to stroke my hair. “Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.” 

“You’ve already done so much for me and for Eden. I don’t know if I could have gotten through the last five years without you in my life.”
Maddie
smiled as her eyes welled with tears. I had to turn away from those eyes. They had too much control over me. I might not be able to do what I needed to do when the time came. “Just promise that if anything happens to me, you’ll always be there for Eden.”

 “Garrett, what are you talking about?” She stopped smiling. A tear rolled down her cheek. I didn’t really know what I was talking about. I just felt with everything in me that there was a missing piece to Corbin’s murder. And that the missing piece was me. 

 The next day, I got a package in the mail. It was a video tape and a letter from
Dashanka
. After a momentary mental lapse, I remembered
Dashanka
was the other photographer that worked at Corbin’s studio. I wondered what she could possibly want after five years.

Dear Garrett,

 I hope you and Eden are doing well. I know this letter may come as a surprise after so long. I’ve written this letter probably a hundred times and then ripped it up. I probably won’t send this one either. Let me get to the point. A few days after the police cleared the crime scene, I was doing some remodeling of the studio in preparation to sell it. I could never work there again. Anyway, I found a hidden surveillance system that Corbin had installed. On the hours of footage, I learned what a despicable person Corbin really was. I know you know this already and this is not why I’m writing you. There was something else on the tape that I thought you might want to see. It is the only copy. Do with it what you will. 

Dashanka

 The instant I watched the video, it all came flooding back…

 After I left the hospital, I went home and up to Corbin’s office. I took out the gun and loaded it. I’d never loaded a gun before so I imitated what I’d seen on TV. Next I looked around his office for a set of spare keys to his studio downtown. I knew there had to be a set somewhere. After trashing the office for a few minutes I found them taped underneath the desk.

 The sun had already risen and I hesitated at the door of Corbin’s studio. I knew someone would see me enter. I would be easily identified and arrested for the murder I was about to commit, but I didn’t care. I had to do this. If I didn’t, I’d never sleep again, I’d never be able to look at myself knowing that I let Eden’s rapist live. He didn’t deserve to take another breath.

 I turned the key and opened the door. My photographic memory proved useful as I disabled the alarm by punching in the code I’d seen Corbin use. I didn’t want him to know I was coming. This had to be a surprise attack.

 I climbed the stairs to the little apartment he had above the studio. My stomach churned at the idea that this could have been one of the places where he raped my 11-year-old sister.

 I stood over his bed and pointed the gun directly at his face. He must have felt my presence because he opened his eyes and fell off the bed in terror.

 “Jesus, Garrett, what are you doing?” He scrambled to his feet, but I knocked him back down to the ground with the butt of the gun. “Garrett, let me explain,” he pleaded. He touched his scalp and his eyes widened when he found blood. He knew why I was there. He knew what he had done.

 “Don’t talk to me. You don’t get to speak to me!” I yelled as I lifted my arm ready to strike him again.

 Corbin covered his head with his arms like a coward. “But I…I saved your life. You at least owe me…Just let me say something.” He rose to his knees and begged me.

 I paused as I thought about the day Joel stabbed me. Surely, he would’ve killed me if Corbin hadn’t been there. But that didn’t give Corbin the right to try to explain away his actions.

 Corbin took my hesitation as an opportunity to speak.

 “I love her, Garrett, I do. She’s like a perfect little angel to me. I realize I was wrong to take her the way I did and I’m sorry. It only happened once. Then I couldn’t do it anymore. I…I made myself stop. That’s the real reason I moved out. Please, don’t kill me, Garrett. I need help.” Corbin put his face in his hands and cried. I almost felt sorry for the pitiful excuse for a man in his underwear on his knees begging for his life. I
almost
felt sorry, until I realized he was lying.

 “Shut up. Stop crying!” I fired a bullet into the ceiling. Corbin covered his mouth and tried to hold in his weeping. “You’re lying. Eden said it happened more than once.” I pointed the gun at his head. Corbin trembled. My chest heaved with heavy breaths. The gun began to slip in my suddenly sweaty hand. I thought I would be able to just barge into his room and blow his head off without faltering, but taking a human life proved harder than I imagined.

 “Please, just tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do it. Just don’t kill me.”

 Oh, I would definitely kill him, but not just yet. I tightened my grip on the gun and said, “I want you to suffer. I want you to feel the pain you caused my Eden.”With that, I pointed the gun to his crotch and fired. His eyes bulged as he let out the most blood boiling, heart twisting scream.

 A wave of nausea overwhelmed me as I saw the blood pooling on the floor. Corbin cried and yelled hysterically as he writhed in pain.

 I felt my knees weaken. Murder wasn’t as easy as I thought. 

 I cocked the gun again and prepared to take another shot but couldn’t hold back the nausea any longer. I leaned over and vomited on the floor. I had to get this over with before I lost my resolve.

 I pointed the gun at his head again and fired.

 In the movies and on TV, they don’t show how gruesome death really is. I’m ashamed to admit it, but when I saw the bits of brain spill out of his head, I almost fainted.

 I dropped the gun in front of Corbin’s body and stumbled out of the door. I held onto the railing for support as I slowly descended the stairs. Then I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw my mother coming towards me.

 “What have you done, Garrett? What did you do?” she yelled as she ran past me and into Corbin’s studio apartment. She gasped at the bloody scene.

 “What did
I
do? What did
you
do? Eden told you that he raped her and you did nothing!”

 “I know,” she said calmly.
Too calmly.
Her demeanor scared me. I heard sirens in the distance. My mother picked up the gun. Was she going to shoot me? “I know,” she said again before emptying the clip into Corbin’s already lifeless body.

 “Why did you do that?”

 “Get out. Get out now before the police-”

 It was too late. The police barged in and handcuffed us both.

 I killed Corbin. Deep inside I knew I had and after five years, I finally remembered. I remembered every disgusting detail. Now I wished I didn’t. Now I realized my mother had just spent five years in prison for something I did. But that was about to change. I had to tell the police the truth, but first I had to talk to my mother.

***

One look at my face and my mother knew my memory of that night had returned.

 “It’s too late, Garrett. Please don’t go to the police. They won’t believe you anyway,” she said as she took a seat across from me in the visitor’s lounge. She began nervously fidgeting with her hands and glancing around suspiciously. She seemed strung out. I wondered if she’d gotten into drugs again during her incarceration. That would definitely hurt her chances for parole.