Guilty Pleasures (7 page)

Robin drove well, better than I would have done. Faster. Probably more safely. And he might have been multitasking: his lips moved as if he was praying. Or he might just have been cursing the slow-joes who seemed to drop speed every time they approached a double white line, and to accelerate hard when the road was clear.

Griff didn't pick up when I tried to tell him I was coming. I left what I hoped was a careful message on his voicemail. Careful and cheery. Just as if nothing was wrong.

I'd expected to find half a dozen police cars crammed into the village street and the place bristling with armed police officers. Maybe a negotiator trying to get Griff away from a gunman.

‘All very quiet here,' Robin observed, ‘after your panic. Are you sure you called this one right?'

‘I'd have heard from Will if I hadn't. Wouldn't I?' I called Will again as Robin looked for somewhere to park. Actually, there were far more vehicles around the place than there usually were, but all pretty ordinary.

‘DCI Webb said she'd deal,' he said. ‘So she may have gone for a different approach from blues and twos and razzmatazz. Try parking in your yard: see what happens.'

‘Can't. Some bugger in a black Volvo's right across the gates.'

‘Well then.'

‘But it could be the guy who's got Griff.'

‘Give me the registration number . . . One of ours, Lina,' he said, after a pause that seemed to last for ever. ‘So approach with care but friendliness.'

Robin's eyebrows danced. ‘Interesting turn of phrase, this policeman of yours. Do you want me to come with you? A dog collar works wonders.'

It certainly had an interesting effect on the surly driver playing FreeCell on his phone. ‘I thought the old guy was going to be OK,' he gasped, switching off in mid-game.

Going to be?
I choked back a sob.

Robin was calmer. ‘I hope and pray he is. Can you tell us what's going on?'

‘Better leave that to the DCI. There she is.' He pointed down the street.

DCI Freya Webb and I had met when one of her officers had turned out badly, though we'd had nothing to do with each other since. She greeted me with a cautious hug, her flame-coloured hair clashing something shocking with my fuchsia top, but to my amazement responded to Robin's outstretched hand and brilliant smile with a huge and unbecoming blush, with which of course her hair clashed even more.

‘Seems Griff activated your alarm system the moment he had a chance. His assailant fled the scene.' It seemed to me she spoke more to Robin than to me; perhaps all police officers, even women, were somehow programmed to look up to men.

‘So why didn't he phone to say he was OK?' I asked, scared, angry, resentful – all three and a few more.

‘Because he isn't quite OK. He's in pain, but not desperate for death to put an end to it,' she said with a smile, waiting briefly for me to recognize the quotation, which I didn't. ‘So I don't think he'll be needing you yet awhile, vicar,' she added, with a strange fluttery smile. Eventually, she tore her eyes from his and said to me, ‘He got hit about the head, and there's quite nasty bruising to his arm and hands. He's in A and E in the William Harvey, Ashford. One of our officers is babysitting him until you go and collect him, Lina. Hang on! Before you gallop off, we'd like you to take just a few moments to walk through the property with Mandy Aitken, one of our SOCOs, to see if anything's missing.'

‘The shop or the cottage?'

‘Cottage. Seems he'd closed the shop for lunch – he insisted we put a little sign on the door apologizing for not opening it this afternoon. Said something about maybe calling Mrs Walker?'

It would take ages to explain to Mrs Walker why we needed her, because she'd ask endless questions. ‘It's easier to leave the shop closed,' I said.

‘Fair enough. Over here, Mandy! You'll have to dress up too, Lina,' she added, as Mandy produced an outfit like her own.

Last time I'd struggled into one of these suits Will and I had burst into the Snowman song. And I'd had a few very bad moments. Now I might be about to have even worse ones.

Mandy, the Scene of Crime expert, was a short blonde with killer spectacles – the sharply angled sort you see in optician's windows but can't imagine anyone wearing. With her protective suit, the effect was bizarre: a rectangular-eyed polar bear. She'd already put paper markers on the carpet. I didn't need one of her arrows to show me a patch of Griff's blood. Knowing him, his chief concern would be for the carpet itself, a lovely old Wilton, with muted colours and lovely sheen.

‘Anything missing?'

‘Not as far as I can see.' I pointed to the shards of a Moorcroft vase. ‘But someone gave that a tidy whack.'

‘Actually, someone used it to give someone else a tidy whack.' Mandy pointed with a gloved finger. ‘Look – a bit of hair and skin, and some blood? I'd say Mr Tripp might have used it to repel the intruder. You see, he didn't have the sort of injury that would result in damage like that.'

So the blood wasn't Griff's. I sat down and swallowed hard. ‘You'll be able to check our CCTV images,' I croaked at last, hoping Griff wouldn't be charged with assault. You never knew these days. ‘Hidden camera.'

She pulled herself upright and stared. ‘Where?'

‘See that ornate picture frame?'

‘Tucked in all those twiddly bits? Wow, that's neat.'

‘I'll get you the movie.' Leaving her to it, I went through to the office. The safe gaped, half its contents on the floor. My voice strangled in my throat, just about I managed to call, ‘Have you been in here yet?'

‘Oh, dear.' She squatted on her haunches beside me. ‘Can you tell if anything's missing? No, don't move anything, not unless you have to.'

‘Griff wouldn't have opened this if he hadn't been forced to. I just hope he gave the man the combination and let him get on with it.'

‘Another camera?'

I managed to smile at her. ‘Spot on. Stills, this one. If you don't tell it not to, simply opening the door activates it.' I picked up some of the boxes which lay on the floor, spilling their expensive contents. ‘He wasn't your normal thief if he didn't want pearls or diamonds, was he? They're not our usual line, which is Victorian china, but occasionally things come our way, and we keep them for a rainy day.'

‘Like when the price of gold rockets?'

‘Exactly. The trouble is, in our line, to get full value out of the gold, you have to melt it down. Destroy it completely, just so some bloated fat cat can stow another ingot into his safe deposit.'

‘But this guy turned his nose up at your nest egg. Weird. You'd have thought he'd take a few free samples just on the off-chance.'

‘Perhaps that was when Griff hit him.'

‘No. The blood spatters show that definitely happened in the living room. Perhaps he was after one particular thing. Any idea what it might be?'

‘Perhaps he gave up when Griff managed to activate the alarm,' I suggested.

‘You're probably right.'

‘As you can see, this lot would be safer if it was back in the safe. Can I put it back and lock it up? Then I'll give you the photos, if any. And the CCTV footage.'

‘OK. I'd better let the DCI what'd been happening.' So although Mandy might be a very bright woman, she didn't seem to have noticed I'd dodged her question about what the intruder might have wanted.

The moment the last box was back in place and the combination reset, I pointed upwards. ‘Shall I check that everything's OK up there? I need the loo, actually.'

I didn't, but I needed time to check that Griff hadn't had to betray the hiding place of an item I thought might have been the real target.

The snuffbox nestled cosily right at the back of the hidden safe.

‘All seems fine,' I reported truthfully on my return. ‘Now for the mugshot.' The release mechanism for the hidden camera was miniaturized too, and dead fiddly, but I managed it. ‘Mind if I have a look, see if I recognize the bastard?' Not a word that Griff would have permitted that early in the day, but I needed to vent a little anger at least.

‘Go ahead.'

I pressed Review and peered. ‘Too small an image even for me, I'm afraid. But maybe when it's blown up a bit?'

‘No problem. What about your security footage?'

‘Easy-peasy.' I demonstrated.

‘Very good images,' she said, pointing at Griff, cornered, reaching for the vase and then smashing it on the intruder's head.

‘Hell – I hope your lot don't think they ought to prosecute him for assault or something!'

‘I think the CPS take a more relaxed view of the Englishman trying to defend his castle these days,' she said. ‘Was the vase valuable?'

‘Valuable but ugly. Probably his subconscious made him choose it.' I watched a little longer. ‘That guy – he looks really weird, doesn't he? His body language keeps changing. Actually, his body, more like. When he comes in, he looks ancient. But – here – he's lost his stoop and he looks quite strong and strapping. And his face no longer matches his body, does it?'

‘Let's see what our geeks make of it, shall we?'

I handed over the DVD – but made sure I inserted a new one. Just in case. And put a new memory card in the safe camera.

Robin was still waiting patiently in the street when I emerged. ‘Lina, I know I should stay with you, but I've got a funeral over at Kenninge in an hour.'

‘I'm fine. Don't worry about me. But how are you going to get back? I need to go to Griff, and—'

‘That's sorted. I'll take him back,' Freya said, blushing again. ‘Blues and twos if necessary. One of my officers will take you over to Ashford, Lina, and—'

‘No, thanks, I'd rather drive over myself. Then I can bring him home. Or it might be better to take him to his friend over in Tenterden, out of harm's way. I'll leave details with whoever's looking after him in Ashford, shall I?'

And they were gone, without so much as a backward glance.

So how did I feel about that? I was sure Freya would have a quotation to suit, however.

SEVEN

G
riff's partner, Aidan, appears like a sympathetic Cheshire cat whenever Griff has a health crisis. I've learned to put up with it. After all, I have the better part of the bargain – I'm with Griff when he's well and wonderful fun; Aidan gets him when he's frail and tetchy.

So I didn't have too many reservations about phoning Aidan from A and E, and telling him about the assault.

‘But your cottage has cameras where other people just have household dust,' he objected. ‘However did the assailant gain access?'

‘That's just what I'd like to know,' I said grimly, though pleased he'd referred to the cottage as ours, not just Griff's, as he used to do. ‘As would the police. I've not had a chance to talk to him yet – he's still in the hands of the medics.'

‘But he isn't in danger?' You could actually hear the anxiety in Aidan's voice. I might not like the man, but he's certainly devoted to Griff; he probably tolerated me for much the same reason.

‘Absolutely not. At least, that's what they've told me. They're just stitching up a cut over his eyebrow. He's going to look pretty weird for the next few days.' I paused. I knew what was coming, largely because I'd just opened the door to the suggestion.

‘Do you suppose a few days in Tenterden might be beneficial?'

Excellent. ‘I can't think of anything better, Aidan. Followed by a couple of days with you in London. He deserves a treat. Last time he was there it was in the company of Miles Winterton, and he didn't enjoy it much. Apparently Miles has become teetotal.'

‘Has he indeed!'

‘And is marrying Caro.' I paused to allow that to sink in. ‘He's giving them an African lavatory.'

‘What a very appropriate comment, as it were!' He gave the rich chuckle that I'd once absolutely hated, but which now made me join in. ‘And it was your idea? Of course it was! My dear Lina, you are so good for him.'

‘As you are. I know you won't let him eat or drink too much, but you'll indulge him in other ways and he'll come back full of energy to a nice clean cottage. I think it'll take a specialist cleaner to tackle the carpet.'

‘I'll get the firm I use to contact you.'

‘Tell you what, Aidan – email me their details and I'll contact them. You never know,' I added. ‘After all, Chummie knows there's literally blood on the carpet, and pretending to be a cleaner could be a dodge he might use to try to get in.'

‘You are such a credit to him, my dear. Now, you will tell me how he goes on and when I can expect him?'

‘He can tell you himself,' I said, joy at the sight of Griff emerging into the waiting area making me generous. I passed over the phone to Griff's more bandaged hand. After all, I could hold the other.

The van wasn't exactly the sleek Mercedes Aidan would have conveyed Griff in, but we always kept overnight bags in the back, just in case we were ever trapped in bad weather miles from anywhere, and it was, of course, already parked in the William Harvey car park.

‘I want the unedited version of events,' I said as I fastened the seat belt for him. ‘Chapter and verse. I know when you have a chance to talk properly to Aidan, you'll fillet out all the worst details so he doesn't worry too much, and I'm never sure how much you trust the police—'

‘A touch more than you do, my child. Particularly,' he added dryly, ‘as they have the benefit of all our security cameras to check that I'm missing nothing out. But why mention Aidan? And why are we taking the Tenterden road?'