Gus (40 page)

Saturday, March 31

(Gus)

There's a text waiting for me when I check my phone this morning.

CLARE:
Congrats on the new album! Bought it yesterday and listened to it last night, it's phenomenal! Great work!

ME:
Thanks. You quit smoking yet?

CLARE:
I did. 2 weeks ago. Didn't want to tell you and jinx it though. It's hard. You quit?

ME:
Yeah. Agreed, it's fucking hard. Hang in there. And I won't hold you to the bet; keep your money and buy some gum.

CLARE:
Gum?

ME:
Yeah. It helps. Don't ask me why but it does.

CLARE:
I'll give it a try. Take care and good luck.

ME:
Thanks. You too.

Thursday, April 5

(Gus)

Our tour starts tomorrow night. I fly to Phoenix in the morning. Eleven o'clock flight. The label car will be at the house to pick me at eight-thirty. My bags are packed and sitting by the front door with my guitars. Scout helped me pack—a week's worth of jeans and T-shirts. She even bought me new socks and chonies—two weeks' worth just in case I can't find a laundromat.

She's lying in bed with me. We're face to face on my pillow. Our bodies are touching, still cherishing the intimacy we shared only minutes ago. Sex with her will never get old. My body fucking craves her. And when we connect, I feel whole. It's an experience that's as emotionally fulfilling as it is physical.
 

She looks sleepy. It's late. I brush the hair back from her cheek. I love that she doesn't give it a second thought when I touch her scars anymore. She's just an amazingly confident woman. I'm so proud of her.

"Scout?"
 

"Yeah, babe?" That's the first time she's called me by anything other than my name. I'm pretty sure I just caught fire. This woman fucking slays me.

"I love you." I mean it with everything that I am.

Her lips twitch and then she presses them together tightly. I'm afraid she's going to cry because her eyes are shiny, but as the first tear rolls down her cheek it's paired with the sweetest smile I've ever seen. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that. I love you, too. So much."

I can't help but kiss her. It's
I love you.
And
thank you.

"I'm gonna miss you." We'll be gone for five months, US and European tours have been combined. We'll spend three months here before we fly over to Europe for two months. The shows are all at bigger venues than anything we've ever played before, except Grant auditorium. That one we insisted on returning to for Bright Side.

"I'm gonna miss you, too, but I'll visit. I know someone in the band. He's kind of a big deal." She shrugs. "He hooked me up with tickets." I already got her a ticket to every state-side Saturday night show. I gave them to her earlier tonight along with all of the flight reservations I made to get her there. "Thank you. I love that I get to be there to share this with you."

"That album wouldn't have happened without you sitting on the other side of my door."

"I think that's when I fell for you. I'd been falling for a long time, little by little. But that week ... listening to you pouring your soul out? I was yours. I was
so
yours."

"I honestly think you had me from the moment we met. It was such a goddamn battle with you, but looking back now, I think we were meant to be from the very beginning. Maybe it was all the fucking sticky notes."

"You love my sticky notes."

"I do. The tour bus won't be the same without you and your sticky notes."

Friday, April 6
 

(Gus)

This morning's already been perfect: pre-sunrise sex with Scout, sunrise surfing with some of the best waves I've seen in a long time, and breakfast with Scout, Ma, and Pax. It was a trifecta of serenity that put my head exactly where it needs to be for this journey.
 

I said good-bye to Scout, Ma, and Pax when they all left for work and school. It was sad, but not the type of sad I was anticipating. They were so excited for me, but more importantly, proud of me. It makes me feel like this time around I've earned it somehow. I've worked my ass off to make this album epic and I'm going to give this tour everything I've got.
Every damn night
.

I'm waiting with my gear in the driveway for the label car to pick me up to drive me to the airport. The sun's warm this morning and I'm soaking it up. When the driver shows up, Franco is already in the car. When he climbs out, he spreads his arms wide. It's a cheesy presentation, like a game show model. And then I see his shirt and I bust out laughing.

He's trying to keep a straight face but he's failing. "It's true, douche canoe. You do.
So fucking moist
."

His T-shirt reads:
Gus makes me moist
.

"Where in the hell did you get that?" I say as I help the driver put my gear in the trunk.

He shrugs and turns around. "New merch for the tour, dude." Rook's logo and our US tour schedule are on the back.

I can't stop laughing. "This isn't for real, right? This is a one-off?"

"Oh no, it's for real," he confirms.

"What the fuck? How did I not know about this?"

He shakes his head like it's obvious while he climbs back into the car. "Because you would've blocked the idea, Mr. Humble Ass. The chicks dig you. We're doing nothing more than stating the obvious. They know they're moist for you, big man. It's fucking genius. They'll sell like mad."

I climb in behind him. "I need one for Scout."

He rubs his hands together devilishly and grins. "Already on it. They should have hers at the merch table tonight for you. It was a special order, one of a kind. Hers says
I make Gus moist.

I clap my hands and I'm laughing again. "That's fucking brilliant. And true. I'm making her wear that shit to every show."

We pound knuckles. I love this fuckhead.

Saturday, June 23

(Scout)

Paxton and I are standing on the sidewalk outside baggage claim. The local time is nine-thirty in the morning and the Minneapolis air is already hot and sticky.
 

I text Gus while we wait:
Just landed in MN. Where are you?

His response is immediate:
We'll be in Grant around noon. You might want to put your panties in your purse now. Just to save time.

ME:
Already done. I'm efficient. ;)

GUS:
And horny.

ME:
Yes.

GUS:
Moist?

ME:
That too.

GUS:
Me too. I love you.

ME:
I love you too.

Paxton keeps adjusting the straps on his backpack. He's fidgety and I don't know if he's just excited to see Gus and Rook play tonight, or if he's nervous about seeing his dad again. They haven't talked in months. Paxton won't take his calls anymore.

I hear the labored roar of the engine before I see the old, battered green Suburban pull up to the curb. This must be Duncan. The car is exactly as Keller described it: rusty and beat-up, with one red door. I wave at him so he's knows it's us.

He waves back through the windshield and pulls up to the curb next to us. I ride in the front passenger seat and as I climb in about to introduce myself, Paxton calls out from the backseat, "Right On! Beanbags."

I know I didn't hear that right, so I continue. "You must be Duncan."

He smiles. "I am. And you must be the infamous Scout and Paxton." His shaggy hair and bushy beard are the same deep, vivid red as Stella's.

"We are." It's then that I turn and look at Paxton in the backseat. He hasn't heard a word that either of us has said. He's looking down with a smile on his face that I don't think I've seen since he was seven or eight. And he's not sitting on a seat.
 

He looks up and the smile grows and he repeats what I didn't think I heard correctly the first time. "Beanbags. This is genius."

"Right?" Duncan comments as he pulls back out into traffic. "Way more comfortable than traditional seating."

Paxton wiggles around in his seat as if to prove the point. "Way more comfortable," he agrees.

The ride to Grant doesn't take long. The conversation is easy between the three of us and before I know it we're parked in front of a coffee shop.

Duncan kills the engine. "Keller won't be home from Stella's ballet practice for another half hour, so we've got a little time to kill. Come on in. I'll buy you guys a cup of coffee."

"I could use some caffeine this morning. Thanks." I don't know if I'm tired because I didn't sleep much last night, or if it's the adrenaline I've been cranked up on all morning that's dragging me down. Either way, I need caffeine.

When Duncan pushes the oversized wooden door open, a bell rings. It's loud and it startles me. "What the hell?" I didn't mean to say that out loud, but Duncan laughs good-naturedly.
 

"Small town Minnesotans kind of have a thing for bells." He shrugs.

I'm laughing now. It's stunned laughter, because it's impossible that small bell made that much noise. I point to my right ear. "I'm deaf in this ear and I'm pretty sure that registered."

He chuckles by way of introduction. "Welcome to Grounds."

It's cozy. There's a small loveseat sitting in front of fireplace that I bet is great during the winter, and a few small tables and chairs. The building is old and has character. It's inviting. It's the kind of place that makes you want to sit down and hang out. "Cool place."

Duncan nods. "Yeah, it is. Home away from home. Keller works here early mornings and he and Stella live in the room out back."

"Duncan, I see you brought friends." A friendly voice with a thick accent calls out and draws my attention to the man behind the counter.

"Rome, how goes it today?"

The man behind the counter salutes Duncan before he responds. "I am well. And you?"

"Livin' the dream, man. Livin' the dream." And when he says it, I get the idea that he means it. Some people are just so sincere that it's the first thing you notice when you meet them. That's Duncan. He's just a really nice guy. "These are my new friends, Scout and Paxton. They're visiting from California."

"Ah, California. Beautiful. You must be Keller's friends. He said he had company coming in today. I'm Romero."

"It's nice to meet you, Romero. Yeah, we're just here for the concert tonight," I offer.
 

"Of course. Keller mentioned it. Kate's friend's band, yes?" He's looking at Duncan for confirmation.

He nods. "Yup, they're good, man. You should come check 'em out with us."

Romero smiles sheepishly. "I'm too old for that, niño. But I've heard them. Keller played me some songs. Kate was singing and playing violin. She was something, wasn't she? One of a kind, that girl. Such a tragedy."

Every time someone says something about Kate, it makes me wish I could've known her. So much love surrounds her memory and those that knew her have nothing but the most positive things to say about her. I know her friendship is one of the reasons Gus is the man he is, and for that I couldn't be more grateful.

Duncan nods. "She was. And she had Keller's heart."

Romero smiles lovingly. "That girl changed Keller. Woke him up. I'm so proud of him." He sounds like a father.

Duncan agrees, and it's so nice to hear people supportive of their friends. "Me too, Rome." Duncan looks at us. "Pick your poison. I'm paying. Rome's got the best coffee around. House blend's legendary."

I order a small house blend while Paxton looks over the menu. He settles on a mocha macchiato and looks blissfully happy while he's drinking it. We aren't seated on the loveseat long before Stella comes bounding in from behind the counter. "Where's Gus?" she calls out.

I turn and she's scanning the busy coffee shop. "Hi, Stella. He's not here yet. Soon though."

She runs over and, after she high fives Duncan, crawls up in my lap. "Hi, Scout."

God, she's the cutest little thing I've ever seen. "Hi, Stella. How was ballet?" She's still wearing her pale pink tights and leotard.

"Miss Toler was kind of a grumpy gorilla today because Amy and Ashley didn't have their listening ears on.
Again.
" She rolls her eyes. "It's so much easier for all of us when they just do what they're told."

Duncan's smirking and trying to hold back laughter. "The twins being naughty again, huh?"

It's like watching an adult trapped in a little person's body. "They're so frustrating, Uncle Duncan. I wish they'd just grow up already."

He's still smirking, but he matches her serious tone. "There's always a stinky one in every bunch, Stella. Sometimes two. That's life, big girl. Welcome to the real world."

"Stinky people suck," she mutters as she crawls back down off my lap and takes my hand. "Let's go see Miss Higgins."

I follow her behind the counter and through a door, with Paxton and Duncan trailing after us. Keller's place is on the other side. It's small, but it's homey.
 

Keller welcomes us with a wave when we walk through the door; he's talking on his phone.

After I meet Miss Higgins and Keller finishes up his phone call, Gus texts me.
We're about 20 minutes away. Meet us at the auditorium?

 
I know I saw him only six days ago, but my heart's already racing in my chest thinking about being near him. I answer:
Will do.

Gus:
I love you.
 

Scout:
I love you too.

I ride with Keller in his car and Stella and Paxton ride with Duncan in the Suburban. And when the bus pulls into the lot I don't know who's more excited to see Gus: me, Stella, Paxton, or Keller.
 

He's the first one off the bus and Stella is right there to greet him. Seeing him with her in his arms warms my heart. Kids love him and he's so good with them. He's gentle and kind, they gravitate to him. He'll be the best dad someday.

After he sets Stella down, he hugs Paxton. I'm close enough that I can hear part of their conversation. "I've been talking to your dad, dude. I know he's not perfect, but he loves you. You need to talk to him. Hear him out. He knows he fucked up."